Chapter 32
OPPORTUNITY
JAHLANI
Dear Ms. Jahlani Jones,
Our team would like to thank you for applying for a position with SION Consulting. At this time, we would like to formally extend an invitation for you to interview with us. Please reply to this email within the next forty-eight hours with a date and time that works for you.
If you are no longer are interested in this position, please disregard this email.
Thank you,
Angela Keighton
Director of Human Resources
SION Consulting
Jahlani stares at the email in her inbox two weeks later, blinking. She isn’t sure why, but she isn’t jumping for joy. She should be touching the ceiling right now. Her head should be through the goddamn roof.
After all, this email is a position for her dream job.
The job that she’s been clawing, punching, and kicking at for the past few years. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A chance for her to free herself. To be happy.
But she isn’t jumping for joy.
She’s frowning instead. She remembers applying for the job at the start of the semester, she remembers seeing the qualifications and meeting them all. She remembers asking around for recommendations—Jackson included—but she doesn’t remember the position being in California.
Over two thousand miles from here.
Across the country.
And she isn’t sure why that information is so vital until her eyes meet his across the room.
A few days ago, as she held Lucy while he shoved his shoes on in a rush, he bent forward to kiss Lucy’s head, and then did hers too, and it was so intimate and sweet and so much more than she had ever expected.
And that was a problem.
Because now he’s what’s wrong with her. He’s the reason why she isn’t jumping for joy. He’s the reason why she’s questioning all her choices, why she keeps breaking her own rules, and keeps wanting to break them.
The reason the lump in her throat forms and her hands start to tremble. The reason she bumps into Jackson, mumbling something incoherent about needing to step out. The reason she flies down the hallway, turning corner after corner until she’s back in his office.
Safe. Alone. Away. Her skin flushes as her heart hammers. She unbuttons her cardigan, shedding it as she paces back and forth in the empty room.
The door swings open, and Roman walks through.
Her eyes widen as her pulse increases. “What are you doing? You can’t be in here.”
Stepping all the way in, the door snaps shut as he leans against it. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
She laughs, but it’s strained. Mocking. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“Roman,” she whispers as she continues pacing back and forth, “I said I’m fine. You shouldn’t be here. Someone could see.”
“See what? We’re not doing anything.” His phone vibrates, but he ignores it.
She steps toward him. “You can’t be in here,” she says, gritting her teeth. “Leave. Go back to the lecture. Please.”
He steps forward, eyebrows pinched together. “Did something happen with your parents? Did someone do something to you?”
Yes, I realized that I haven’t been able to wash you from me yet. I realized that I fell for you. I realized that no matter what, I’m going to sabotage this somehow.
“No. Nothing happened,” she says, lip curled. His phone buzzes again.
“Then, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I just—are you going to get that?” she snaps.
He arches a brow, turning the phone off before placing it on the desk.
“No, I’m not going to get it. We’re talking.”
She covers her face with her hands, inhaling and exhaling to lessen the shaking.
Without realizing, she finds herself on the edge of Jackson’s desk. Roman steps further into the room, and it’s not long before warm hands engulf her own, prying her fingers from her face. He’s too close, and her mind wanders.
She fastens her chin toward her chest as his finger curls under it. “Jahlani, look at me.”
She licks her lips, her stomach twisting at his light touch.
“You shouldn’t be in here,” she says to the ground in a quiet voice.
“I know.”
He steps forward, trailing his fingers from under her chin to her cheek.
Back and forth, and back again. She shivers, turning her face into his hand, closing her eyes when his arm slides around her waist, curving her body into his.
His thumb finds its way to her bottom lip, and he swipes against it slowly.
“Jahlani,” he says, voice gravelly. “Fuck, I—”
Her body hums and seems to fold into him. Into his touch. It seems to scream here, this is it, this is what you were missing. Him.
Her eyes open as she peers up at him, their heavy breathing mixing together, his green eyes pouring into her own ebony-infused ones. She’s so warm and desperate and he’s barely touched her. His head tilts closer and their mouths are a fraction away.
“Anyone could come in,” she says against his mouth. “Jackson could come in.”
But her body’s a mess for him.
So, when he breathes against her mouth telling her that he missed her she closes the distance, sending her fingers through his hair. His hand moves to grip the back of her neck, pressing their mouths together, holding her steady as they kiss slowly.
“Can’t do it,” he says into her mouth as his tongue meets hers. “I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but your rules are bullshit.”
Her hands slide under his sweater as she roams his hard chest and stomach.
A rush of cold air meets her as he steps back, dragging the shirt up his body.
Both arms wind against her back, lifting her to deposit her further on the desk.
Her legs fall open as he steps in between them, his hand gliding up her thigh, disappearing under her skirt.
His fingers trace slow, soothing circles over the lace, and she moans into his mouth, gripping his arm as she tries to get more.
“Roman.”
He pulls the damp material to the side, grazing her bare clit with his fingers.
Her eyes screw shut as her mouth falls open in a soft whimper.
As his fingers graze over her, his tongue meets the side of her neck with fast, bruising motions.
She bites her lip as her body grows warmer and she starts to tilt and circle against his fingers.
“Should we stop, Lani?” His lips graze against the column of her throat as he continues to massage her, never changing his pace. “I shouldn’t be in here, right?”
He pulls back, gripping her hair, twisting her head to whisper into her ear. “I shouldn’t be touching you like this in Jackson’s office. I should stop, right?”
She shakes her head, exhaling slowly.
His fingers slide into her, and an abrupt moan falls out of her.
He stays there for several moments, grazing, tapping, collecting, before he slides them and rubs over her.
Her stomach clenches and she lets her legs fall open further as he continues the slow motions of his fingers.
Her head falls against his chest as her body starts to throb, the familiar ball of tension starting to grow.
It doesn’t take as long as she expects as she presses her fingertips into his arms, her body unwinding in satisfying layers.
As her body travels to some state of normalcy, he continues rubbing.
Tilting her head up, he presses their mouths together in a frenzied, almost clumsy rush.
Sliding her hand down to his, she removes it before sifting both hands back through his hair.
He pulls back and away, and she almost cries out because she’s not ready for it to be over.
Not yet. Maybe not ever. But as she leans against the edge, she sees him turn the lock on the door.
She watches through hazy eyes as he steps back in front of her, snapping open the buttons of her blouse.
When he works the last one open, he drags it down her arms, kissing down the same path.
She watches through drunk eyes as Roman leans forward, caressing her knee. The multicolored stack of papers on the desk is almost enough to throw her off track and the insanity of it all rushes toward her, but then he’s pushing himself closer, and her eyes flutter shut as she grows hotter, wetter.
“I wanted this that night,” he says, kissing her again. “When we argued. I’ve thought about it every night since. I’ve thought about this since the first day I saw you in class. You still don’t think it’s fate? That we’re here like this together?”
“Roman,” she says through a sigh. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
And she pulls his mouth to hers, forgetting everything that led her to this room in the first place.
“Guess what?” he asks, pulling back as his fingertips become firmer as he moves to her thigh, massaging.
“What?” she murmurs, eyes stuck on the movement of his hands on her flesh.
“After today …” He trails off. She watches as he grips her foot, pressing a kiss to it, before moving to her ankle, calf, inner knee, thigh.
He repeats the same action to her other foot and leg before standing up to slide her panties all the way down.
He kisses her intensely before making his way down her body and licking her.
“After today,” he breathes against her, meeting her eyes, “you aren’t forbidden anymore. ”
Her mouth falls open and her eyes close as he works his lips and teeth and tongue over her. She grips his jaw with one hand and uses the other to anchor herself to the table to angle her hips, to push them against his face and then she’s coming apart, and she bites her hand to stifle her scream.
He moves back up her body, leaving a trail of kisses against her knee, the top of her thighs, her chest, before making it to her lips where the kiss is slow and lazy.
Explorative.
When he pulls back, she slumps back against the desk, covering her face with her arm, exhaustion tugging at her. She opens her eyes and looks around at the mess they made before laughing hysterically.
“What’s so funny?”
“I think we broke Jackson’s pencil holder.” This sentence alone brings a new wave of hysteria to her as he pulls her up. He kisses her, silencing her.
“What now?” she asks, staring at the mess around them.
“Now, we go back to class.”
She lets out a breathless chuckle. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to go in there and pretend like we didn’t just do this.”
He winks at her as she slides her clothes back on. She sees the glint of his phone, and powers it back on, shaking her head as she sets it down to put her shirt back on. She bites her lip, feeling giddy until she sees his phone flash from her peripheral.
It happens fast and all at once. The notifications that stain his phone are a combination of Gwendolyn, Danica, and then Audrey. That one sends her hand trembling.
“Roman,” she says, her voice sounding hollow and distant. He doesn’t hear her as he bends down to straighten the materials from Professor Jackson’s desk. She licks her lips, taking a short step toward him.
“Roman,” she says, louder this time, and this time he hears. His eyes meet hers and she watches as his smile instantly dissolves. His eyes travel to the phone in her hand and his forehead creases.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, taking several steps forward. Jahlani holds out his phone, and he removes it from her grasp, inspecting the messages. His thumb sweeps across the screen with increasing ferocity, his face contorting, his shoulders dropping.
Jahlani steps forward with her arm outstretched, but Roman takes an abrupt, almost flinching, step back before turning to face her, his eyes not quite meeting hers.
“I have to go,” he mutters, looking around the room with wide eyes. “I have to go.”
Jahlani nods, running a hand over her head. “Go.”
“My bag—my stuff,” he stutters, patting his pockets. He digs his hand into his front pocket, retrieving his keys. “My laptop—”
Jahlani shakes her head, a sharp pressure building in the back of her throat as she watches Roman.
“Roman, go. I’ll bring it to you later. Go, quickly.”
She watches him nod absentmindedly, shuffling backward before connecting his eyes with hers, and she sees it: the guilt, the dread, the consequences, all flashing behind his eyes. Her stomach churns and she shakes her head when he hesitates at the door.
Go she mouths softly, watching as his knuckles turn white on the handle. With a final desperate look, Roman pulls the door open and leaves.
When Jahlani hears the latch of the door close, she leans her weight against the desk, taking deep breaths. Pressing a hand to her chest, she closes her eyes as she tries to time out her breaths evenly. When she feels her pulse slow, she’s left with a single, lingering thought:
She should’ve stopped him sooner.