16. Emma
16
EMMA
“ L ittle Berry?” The open surprise on Asher’s face matches the influx of tightness swooping through my chest. It’s like my heart has been knocked out of place and is beating all over the inside of my body.
“Little Berry,” Asher repeats. “Your daughter, Little Berry, is Emma …”
My father’s old college friend is Asher ?!
Oh my God.
Oh my fucking God.
I’ve been fucking my father’s friend.
To make things worse, I spot Caspian and Finn just over Asher’s shoulder. They’re talking and laughing together as if they know each other. As if they all know each other. I can’t think. My mind can’t process beyond Asher’s presence and words fail me even as my father looks at me expectantly.
Asher is friends with my dad.
Oh my God.
“Emma.” Asher jerkily holds out one hand. “It’s nice to see you again. It’s been years.”
His voice trembles faintly and our eyes meet. This moment is important. Heavy. One word and everything I adore about him and the others will be over completely. One word and everyone in the room will know that I fucked my father’s old college buddy. My lips part and still my throat fails me.
“What’s wrong with you?” Dad snaps slightly.
“It’s lovely to meet you,” I force out, accepting Asher’s offered hand. “I’m so sorry. I don’t remember you at all.”
“Me either,” Asher says firmly, pleading with his eyes that this is just as much a shock to him as it is to me. “The last time I met Little Berry, she was just up to my knee. Then I had to move several states away to care for my brother and…” He trails off and swallows so hard there’s an audible gulp. “My, how you’ve grown.”
My father, thankfully oblivious to our inner turmoil, nods seriously. “Yes, I remember. A terrible time.”
As they talk, something unlocks deep in my mind. It's a distant memory of a phone call that upset my father in a way I had never seen before. The absence of a good friend was made worse by the fact that Asher’s brother had passed away suddenly. My father had wanted to attend the funeral in support, but I can’t remember if he did or not. It was so long ago, and I remember that a lot more clearly than anything to do with Asher.
The sight of my father hunched against the wall, offering multiple condolences while my mother scolded me for eavesdropping and ushered me away.
I glance between the two of them as they talk as easily as old friends, scarcely able to believe what I’m seeing.
No way I’m fucking my father’s friend.
No fucking way.
Ana is going to have a heart attack when I tell her. I feel like I’m having one right now.
“Darling.” To make matters worse, my mother suddenly appears and takes my father’s arm. “Asher, lovely to see you.”
“Ellen, lovely to see you too.”
“Darling, Francis is here to see you.” With a gentle tug, she pulls Dad away and he quickly says his goodbyes to Asher. They melt into the crowd and I remain frozen to the spot, unable to think until Asher moves a step closer.
“You know my dad ?” I hiss out. Static warmth rushes through my chest and a strange vibration lingers at the back of my throat like I’ve swallowed a bee.
“Hey, I am just as shocked as you,” Asher replies, his voice low. “I had no idea you were Little Berry.”
“He never told you my name?” I snap.
“No! I mean, maybe when you were a baby, but he’s always called you Little Berry. I thought his daughter’s name was Berry.” Asher takes my elbow and I don’t resist as he pulls me closer to the table Finn and Caspian stand at. They both have a bottle of beer in their hands, but their conversation is quiet now that they’ve spotted me. Three pairs of eyes lock onto me and my cheeks flare red hot.
“I don’t believe this—do you three know each other?”
They glance at one another, and a wave of nods pass through, along with easy smiles.
“Yes,” Finn says. “We’ve known each other for years.”
A tight band constricts suddenly across my chest and I gasp, lifting trembling fingers to my lips. Asher reaches for me but I sidestep, a warning not to touch me, which he accepts.
They know each other. The men I’ve been fucking know each other? And they know my dad?
Fuzziness seeps into the edges of my vision so I reach for the table just as my balance tips hard to the left. They all watch me, the same look of concern mirrored in each of their eyes.
“And do you all know that I’ve been…” I can’t say it out loud—not here. Knowing my luck, old Gertha will overhear, tell my mother, and then I’ll have to book a funeral.
“That you’ve been dipping into several pots?” Caspian offers with a cheeky smile.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Sure, if you want to put it like that.”
“Yes,” Finn replies. “We all realized pretty quickly that we were fucking the same girl.”
“Shh!” I hiss, leaning closer over the table. “You can’t say it out loud!”
“Why not?” Caspian tilts his head. “We’re not ashamed and you shouldn’t be either.”
“Uh…” Okay, I hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry, this is a lot to process. You all knew that I was—with all of you and none of you saw it as a problem?”
“Do you see it as a problem?” Finn asks after a sip of his beer.
“I see everything as a problem right now,” I whisper hoarsely.
“Okay, let me put it this way.” Finn sets his beer down. “Asher and Caspian bent first; they realized they were interested in the same woman and then when I realized they had been with you, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I’d denied myself for months because of bullshit rules, but I couldn’t stand knowing they got to taste you and I didn’t.”
“Honestly, you should have seen his face,” Caspian snorts. “He was so fucking jealous I got there first.”
“But you’re all…” I look between all three of them, lingering on Asher who remains silent and clearly still processing. “You don’t care?”
“About sharing?” Caspian asks and I nod.
“It’s like what I said before,” Finn says gently. “We don’t care about labels and we’re too old to mess around in games. We have an interest that we share, and you didn’t seem to mind when you were entertaining all of us.”
The band around my chest tightens and prickling heat steals down my spine. In the back of my mind, I had begun to fear one of them finding out about the others after Meghan accused me of cheating because I knew I wouldn’t be able to choose if someone forced an ultimatum.
Now it seems they don’t care about that. I close my eyes and swallow hard, focusing on staving off the wave of lightheadedness that creeps up.
“Little Berry,” Asher finally says.
“Oh God,” Finn chuckles softly. “That was a fucking twist I did not see coming.”
“Why does he call you that?” Asher asks.
I open my eyes and the warmth in my cheeks flares hotter. “Uh…when I was younger and had a tantrum, I would hold my breath for a long time. It caused my face to go red so often that my dad started calling me Little Berry as a term of endearment and then it just stuck, even after all these years.”
My cheeks become lava as Finn and Caspian laugh warmly, and Asher gives me an easy smile.
“Isn’t that adorable,” Asher says.
“No!” I snap, keeping my voice low. “It’s embarrassing. This whole thing is—I don’t even have the words.”
“Are you okay?” Asher leans into me once again and this time, I don’t pull away. His warm hand lands on my forearm and it’s surprisingly grounding. Within seconds, the rushing lightheaded sensation fades and I finally give him a small smile.
“I don’t know. I feel sick and twisted up all at the same time. I can’t believe you know my dad. It suddenly makes things all the more insane.” Shaking my head, I try to clear my thoughts into something I can manage. Unfortunately, the turmoil remains.
“So…” Lifting my gaze, I eye each of them in turn. “I’ve been seeing all three of you and none of you are mad about that? You don’t…hate me or think worse of me or anything?”
They exchange a look, then Caspian speaks. “No, Emma. It doesn’t bother us one bit. At first, it was an amusing surprise because never did I think we had the same taste in women. But when it became clear that none of us were willing to sacrifice time with you, we all realized that we didn’t care.”
“In the nicest way,” Finn reassures me. “Although I was challenging myself by resisting you for so long. Each time you flirted with me, I was sure I would crack and things would become terrible, but then Caspian told me this story about this beautiful woman that captured his attention and I knew that there was no point resisting you any longer.”
“You’re quite the addiction,” Asher adds, lightly squeezing my arm.
“This is…a lot.” It’s almost too much to process in such a short time. My heart still feels like it’s fallen out of place while it thumps furiously in my abdomen.
“We’re all sensible men,” Asher continues. “Something as simple as shared interest is easy to deal with because, frankly, we all like you. Nothing is going to change that.”
I lift my eyes to him. “Not even my father?”
“Granted, unexpected,” Asher chuckles weakly.
“How does it make you feel?” Caspian asks. “Knowing that Asher was in your life before?”
“I don’t know.” A strange crawling sensation lightly sweeps down my arms and legs, with a rushing desire to suddenly step away and run until I’m outside. The air is warm and close, and each breath I take only seems to make it warmer. “I don’t remember him at all and how I feel is still just?—”
“Emma! There you are. I hope you’re not bothering Asher too much.” Like a spring trap, my mother appears and chuckles sharply. Her hand clasps my elbow and her long nails dig into my soft flesh. “Sorry, but I have to borrow my daughter. It’s lovely to see you, Asher.”
“You too,” Asher replies.
I only have a chance to glance at them all before Mom pulls me away from the table.
“Come on, the cake is about to be cut and your father wants you by his side for a picture.”
I can’t breathe. The air remains close and pressed against my face, increasing the tickling sensation across my arms and legs. I want to run. I need to escape my own skin and get outside just so I can take a clean breath.
“Mom I just need to?—”
“There’s no time,” she snaps, pulling me through the crowd. Suddenly, she pauses and turns to me. “And please, try to get along with your father’s friend. I know it’s been years and you think you’re too cool for people like him but he’s important to your father.”
“I will,” I reply, “but I just need to?—”
“Good, because they’re coming to stay with us at the cabin this weekend and the last thing I need is you being dramatic.”