Three
“You had detention on the first day of school?” Meredith cackled. “Who even are you? Rue from Euphoria ?”
“No, she doesn’t do drugs. She’s more like Sam from iCarly ,” Kendra interjected.
“How about Wednesday Adams?”
“Nah. She would never wear black.”
“Guys! You’re not helping,” I groaned while crossing my arms with a huff. “It’s that stupid teacher, Mrs. Hawthorne! I swear she’s got it out for me.”
The three of us sat together at a circular table in the middle of the lunchroom as we pushed the food on our trays with plastic forks.
Today’s menu consisted of a chicken sandwich with questionable sauce, partially frozen pepperoni pizza, and a bland mix of tomatoes and cucumbers on a mediocre salad.
(I’ll let you guess what we ordered.) I engaged my core and arched my back, trying to resist the urge to slouch as I shoved a few pieces of lettuce in my mouth.
“Well, that’s what you get for taking some bat-shit crazy AP class. Seriously, Clarke, who are you?” Meredith frowned.
“Okay, what is this? Pick on Clarke day? You guys know how strict my parents are. They didn’t really give me much of an option.”
“Okay, but at some point, you have to tell your parents you don’t care about college.” She shrugged.
“Too late for that. I already got into the University of Charleston.”
“Yeah, why the hell did you even apply for that?”
“My. Fucking. Parents.”
“Are you gonna go?”
“Dude, college is the least of my worries right now. How about we focus on cheer tryouts first?”
“Now you’re speaking my language.” Meredith nudged my shoulder with her own. “So, how many spots do we have available for new recruits this year, Ms. Cheer-Captain?”
“Obviously, the seniors are gonna make the team, but in general, we’re looking at eleven spots other than me.”
“Who’s our new prey?” Kendra asked, resting her chin in her hands.
I glanced around the lunchroom, my eyes darting from table to table.
As I searched the crowd, my gaze settled on Elliot.
He flashed me a quick wink, his grin wide before he turned back to his friends, who were doubled over in laughter at something he had just said.
A sharp pang of jealousy hit me as a realization sank in—I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed like that.
“Earth to Clarke!”
“Huh?”
I snapped my head toward Meredith, who was now waving her hands in front of my face, jolting me back to reality.
“Who should we target for our tryouts? Any new and upcoming freshman from the middle school cheer team?”
“Oh.” I cast a lingering glance at Elliot before swiftly averting my gaze. “Yeah, uh, there’s this freshman that really stood out when I scouted the middle school homecoming game last year. I think her name was Camryn.”
“Great!” She clapped. “Subtracting two more spots for me and Kendra, that leaves eight more spots for any stragglers who decide to try out too.”
“Mmhm.”
“Something wrong, Clarke?” Meredith asked, her eyes hinting at something unspoken. “’Cause if you’re not up for this—”
I tried to hide my lack of interest, but it still slipped through in my words. The last thing I wanted was to spend hours judging girls for their enthusiasm and then discard the ones who didn’t fit the cookie-cutter mold of a cheerleader. But that’s what the cheer captain did.
“No, I am. It’s just you guys know there will be at least twenty girls who try out and most of them will be complete shit.”
Kendra raised a finger. “Don’t forget that one guy who tries to join the team every year—”
“Andrew Green,” Meredith said while stabbing the lettuce with a fork.
“So, there goes my Friday plans.”
“What plans? You never leave your house on weekends.”
“Just because I don’t hang out with you, doesn’t mean I don’t have plans,” I muttered.
Meredith’s gaze weighed on me as the silence stretched, thick with tension. Her anger was palpable.
My shoulders stiffened as I stared down at my tray of untouched food.
“Well, hey!” Kendra shouted cheerfully. “At least we’ll have each other, so we can all suffer together.”
Yay us .
“Yep.”
A dull thud sounded beside me as another tray slammed onto the table. I didn’t need to lift my head to know who it was. The overpowering cologne and obnoxious snicker were a dead giveaway.
“Ryan,” I groaned while rolling my eyes. “What do you want?”
“Now is that any way to talk to the star quarterback?”
He put his hand on mine. My nose crinkled as I resisted the urge to immediately recoil under his touch. I could feel the bile rise in my throat.
“Is this any way to treat the captain of the cheer team?” I gestured to his hand on top of mine.
“We used to do more than just hold hands.”
Ew. Ew. Ew.
I scoffed, a hint of bitterness coloring my voice. “Did you need something or…?”
“Mason’s having a party the night of the homecoming game. You guys are invited.”
Meredith’s eyes lit up. “Mason’s hosting?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll definitely be there.” She smiled brightly.
“Good. Then, I’ll see you there.” He arched his eyebrow, curling his lips upward. “Clarke.”
Without waiting for a response, Ryan walked away. Just my luck that the biggest party of the year was being hosted by the football team.
“Ugh.” I shuddered. “Could he be any more repulsive?”
“At least he’s hot.” Meredith shrugged. “You guys used to be so cute together. What the hell happened to him?”
His testosterone surged? His ego got too big? His brain decreased by ten sizes? All of the above.
I huffed, blowing a strand of hair away from my face. “You know what happened.”
“Do you think he’s changed? Maybe it was an honest mistake.” Meredith prodded further.
“Look, I’m not going to waste my breath talking about Ryan, so just drop it.”
Lettuce snapped underneath Meredith’s fork as she repeatedly stabbed her salad while mumbling something under her breath.
My temples throbbed as I massaged them in slow circles. Once she stopped pouting, all I could hear was the annoying sound of her chewing. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch .
“Oh my god, knock it off with the lettuce.”
“My lettuce never did anything to you, so how about you redirect your anger somewhere else?”
I balled my hand into a fist, resisting the urge to sock Meredith right in the jaw.
BEEEEP.
The tip of my pencil snapped by accident as I jumped slightly in my seat.
The piercing ring of the evening bell marked the end of the first week.
Friday couldn’t have arrived soon enough.
I hastily tucked away my pathetic excuse for a self-portrait and walked toward the gym alongside Meredith and Kendra.
“Okay, so we have our plan?” Meredith asked.
“Teach everyone a thirty-second routine, have them perform in groups of four, narrow it down to the top twelve, where they get to freestyle a stunt for ten seconds and choose the top eleven cheerleaders.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Miss Cheer captain.”
“Actually, she forgot the most important part,” Meredith corrected, nudging Kendra with her elbow. “Make sure you and I are in the top eleven.”
“Yeah. Got it.”
We rushed into the locker room, quickly changing into casual athletic gear in preparation for tryouts.
I could feel my skin beginning to heat up as beads of sweat formed under my armpits.
Digging through my bag, I pulled out a roll of deodorant and applied it generously, trying to combat my perspiration.
As I shoved it back inside, my fingers brushed against something hard.
Glancing down, I saw my journal sticking out.
I flipped it open, eyes landing on the dedication inside:
To my sister — I hope you find the words to heal your soul.
I traced my thumb over her words, lost in thought.
Meredith’s voice startled me. “Ready?”
I hastily shoved the journal into my bag. “Yup.”
Pushing open the double doors leading into the gymnasium, the three of us walked out into the chaos. We were greeted with a wave of enthusiasm as we stood in front of what felt like a hundred girls—and one boy. The applause was almost deafening.
My heart was fluttering in my chest, threatening to burst out of my ribcage.
Everybody’s eyes were on me as I stood at the head of the gym next to Coach Smithson while Meredith and Kendra joined the horde of girls surrounding us.
Heat surrounded my body. Nausea washed over me as I swallowed forcefully, trying to avoid an impending disaster.
Not now, social anxiety.
“Ready to get started?” the coach questioned, her words prompting me to swallow my fear get this shit show of a disaster on the road.
I nodded at her as she handed me a microphone.
I momentarily paused, trying to mentally prepare myself for how draining this would be.
I could feel the weight of everyone’s eyes, staring so hard I almost wanted to crawl out of my skin.
I blocked out the sensation and looked straight ahead.
Gripping the microphone between my fingers, I conjured a smile and began to speak.
“Hi everyone, and thank you so much for being here!” The crowd responded with another round of applause. “It’s amazing to see such a great turnout today. This year, we’re looking to recruit eleven new cheerleaders, so give it your best effort, and most importantly, have fun!”
Everything was in full swing within minutes as I began to teach everyone the choreography to a new cheer.
By the time I had finished, almost all the makeup had completely melted off my face, and my hair was a wavy mess of greasy tendrils.
As I hunched over, with my hands on my thighs, I glanced around at the other girls in envy of their perfection.
Even after half an hour of strenuous exercise, they all looked gorgeous.
Meredith with her shiny and voluminous hair. Kendra with her glowing makeup. The freshman off to the side with her radiant bare skin.