Nine #2
My throat became dry, and the saliva in my mouth felt like sandpaper, causing my voice to crack as I made my way from person to person, reflecting the version of myself they most wanted to see.
Trying to appease everyone and cater to their desires was painstaking and tedious, but if four years of being a picture-perfect image of ‘Miss Popular’ had taught me anything, it’s that if you wanted people to like you, all you had to do was exude the same energy that they radiated.
I was simply a faceless mannequin resembling only what everyone wanted to see.
It was exhausting, but at this point, I was used to it.
I smirked when I noticed Elliot and his friends secluded off to the side, making no attempts to mingle with anyone.
They seemed so disconnected from everything around them.
I could see their mouths moving, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Maybe this was a part of their plan—to try and seem uninterested and above it all.
“Hey, girl! How was the party last night?” Kendra approached with a smile, dressed in a floor-length golden gown that hugged her slender figure, its short train trailing gracefully behind her.
She looked amazing, but that didn’t stop my face from contorting when I saw her. “Uh, what’s with your face?”
“Well, you’d know if you bothered to show up last night.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t blame me for not wanting to hang around douchebags all night.”
“You ditched us, Kendra.”
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“And then Mer ditched me.”
“Wait, why would she ditch you?”
“For a boy. Why else?”
“Mason?”
“Yep.”
“Shit. Are you okay?”
“No thanks to you guys.” I huffed. “Meredith got wasted and ran off with Mason, Ryan tried to make another move on me, I downed like four cups of some crazy strong alcohol, I danced on a table…the whole thing was a fucking mess.”
Kendra frowned, looking disappointed. “Damn, that sucks.”
That sucks? That’s all I get? Not even a ‘Oh my god, I totally should’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry?’
“Yeah.”
“Did you make it home okay?”
I shrugged. “Yeah. There was this guy. He dropped me off at my house and made sure Mer was okay.”
“What guy?”
“No one you know.”
“ Okay .” She eyed me suspiciously. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”
I inhaled deeply. “Me too.”
A plume of red fabric caught my eye as Meredith rushed over to us. Her dress looked radiant, clinging to her body and pooling outward around her ankles. The sway of her back was accentuated by the sweeping curve of the dress’s plunging design.
“Hey, girlies!” she cooed. “You guys look beautiful!”
“Aw, stop.” Kendra twisted her hips while flicking her wrist. “Just kidding. Say more.”
“You look great, Mer.” I smiled through clenched teeth.
“So, you’re done being upset at me then?”
“Depends. Do you have something to say to me?”
“Like an apology? Is that what you’re asking for?” She folded her arms across her chest. “I’ll apologize for the whole Mason thing if you apologize for not embracing the perks of being a popular cheerleader. You know how many girls would kill to be in your shoes?”
“You’re joking, right?”
Kendra scrunched her eyebrows, propping a hand on her hip. “Seriously, Mer? Just say sorry and move on.”
“I will if she will.”
The only thing I could manage to bring myself to do was scoff.
I had no idea how to respond to that. What the hell was her problem lately?
The muscles in my face tightened, causing my eyelid to twitch.
Without knowing what to say next, a phony smile clung to my lips.
I would not be winning any awards for my unconvincing performance tonight.
As much as I tried to seem unfazed, shock and uncertainty were carved into my features.
Luckily—or rather, unluckily would be the more appropriate word—Ryan wedged himself into our conversation.
“Ladies.” He smirked, his eyes roaming hungrily over our bodies. “Clarke, you look amazing.”
Was my hand colliding with his cheek not enough of a hint for him already?
Get. Away. From. Me . Did I have to spell it out for him to understand?
Or maybe it would sound better coming from another male for him to finally listen since it was clear he didn’t give a shit about women or their opinions.
How did I tell him to fuck off in a polite and ladylike fashion?
Meredith nudged my upper arm with her elbow, prompting my response.
“Uh, thanks.”
“So, you ready for that dance now? You still owe me one from last night.”
A voice that sounded nothing like my own answered his question.
“Yes.” Meredith put her hand on my lower back, giving me a shove in his direction. “She’d love to.”
“No, that’s not—”
“It’s the least you can do after you slapped me.”
Kendra ducked her head next to mine and whispered loudly. “You slapped him?”
“Oh.” Meredith tsked. “Yeah, you definitely owe him one. What the hell, Clarke?”
The pressure in my chest was overwhelming, a tight and suffocating weight that made it hard to breathe. My heartbeat quickened.
I clenched my fist as my eyes darted around the room.
Was everyone watching me? Why was everyone staring at me?
The heat rose to my cheeks. What happened to the music that was so loud when I got here?
Did they turn it off? It was quiet, but my ears felt so full.
I pressed my lips together, the pink lipstick smudging onto my teeth.
I couldn’t have a breakdown. Not here in front of everybody. And I couldn’t afford to shatter the image that I had so perfectly crafted by slinging curse words left and right.
“I—I…um.” I swallowed hard. “Ryan…”
He seemed annoyed. “Well…will you?”
A hand slipped around my waist, engulfing me in a blanket of warmth. “Babe, there you are. I can’t believe you wanted to drive yourself here. You know I wanted to pick you up.”
When I looked up, I saw Elliot smiling down at me, his blue eyes piercing mine. For a second, I couldn’t think; my mind scattered like broken glass. He gripped my waist as I pieced together the puzzle he was hinting at.
Then, it clicked.
I smiled warmly at him.
It’s a fact that being outspoken was always far less daunting when you had someone else in your corner, and even though for me that someone was Elliot, it didn’t stop the confidence from brewing in my lower abdomen.
Or maybe it was a swarm of butterflies waiting to erupt.
Whatever it was, I harnessed its energy.
“Oh, you know my parents.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “They’d just ask a million questions.”
“ Babe ?” Meredith repeated her words, laced with disgust.
“Wait…” Ryan trailed off, looking back and forth between me and Elliot. “Are you dating this emo kid?”
I cocked an eyebrow at him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“ Very .”
Shaking his head, he laughed cynically, his lips forming a tight-lipped smile. “You fucking bitch.”
“Excuse you?” I barked back. “What the hell did you just call me?”
“I make one small mistake last year, and you still can’t get over it?”
“You call fucking someone else while you were dating me ‘a small mistake?’”
“I apologized—”
“Oh.” I clapped my hands. “Good for you. You apologized. Doesn’t mean I have to forgive you, let alone agree to dance with you.”
“No means no, dipshit.” Elliot smirked at him.
“How about you mind your own business, you fucking emo freak?” Ryan spat.
“You think I’m the freak? You’re trying to force someone who doesn’t like you to go out with you. I think you’re the only freak here, dude.”
Kendra slapped a hand over her mouth, inhaling her laughter. Ryan stood in stunned silence, struggling to pick his jaw up off the floor.
I didn’t even dare look at Meredith. And honestly, fuck what she thought anyway.
“Anyway, I think that’s a ‘no’ on the dance, Ryan. Sorry.” I chuckled while tugging at Elliot’s hand.
“Not sorry,” Elliot mumbled.
A smile lingered on my face as we wove our way through a crowd of people, desperate to escape the disaster that was ensuing.
The music slowly faded back into focus. My ears were buzzing.
What the hell just happened ? Elliot’s hand was still wrapped tightly around my own.
I led us to the large circular table filled with an assortment of snacks—pizza, chips, a cheese platter.
Not that I could stomach any of it right now.
There were a few other people who seemed to need a break from all the chaos as they approached the table, shoveling food onto their plates.
They all seemed to freeze when Elliot and I walked over.
I glanced down at our interlocking fingers.
“Uh, you can let go of my hand now,” I muttered.
“Oh, right.”
He pulled his hand from mine as we stood next to each other, awkwardly picking at the food in front of us. My shoulder brushed his upper arm, sending an electric current through my body. I cleared my throat.
“Thanks for…that.”
“What can I say?” He smirked. “I guess the whole knight-in-shining-armor thing really did go to my head.”
“Or maybe you just needed an excuse to fake-date me.”
Elliot’s smile deepened. “Seriously, though. It seemed like you needed an out.”
“You have no idea.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Nope.”
“Then wanna dance?”
I snapped my neck up, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What?”
“Just a question,” he prefaced with palms outstretched, trying to diffuse the situation before it escalated. “Unlike jackass over there, I understand what ‘no’ means.”