Eighteen
I was lying on my bed, splayed out on my back, when the book clutched between my fingers gave way, falling onto my face with a dull thud. Groaning, I picked the book up off my face and palmed my cheek.
Of course, I had to be reading the hardcover edition of The Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han. Never thought a book would end up bitch-slapping me before Meredith did.
I twisted my torso, rolling onto my stomach as I glared at the book that had just assaulted me.
Resting a pillow under my chin, I held open the pages, getting lost in the words once more.
My mind felt as light as a feather, drifting effortlessly.
The soft glow of the ivory candle cast a warm hue over the pages, its faint scent gently swirling through the room.
My shoulders bounced as I read the scene where Belly struggled to walk in high heels, wobbling with every step she took. Relatable .
The smile was wiped from my face as my mother’s voice called out to me. “Clarke! You have a visitor!”
When I glanced up from the book, I was surprised to see the sun had sunk much lower in the sky than I remembered.
The clock perched on my bedside table illuminated 6:50 p.m. Who the hell was coming to see me at seven o’clock?
I shoved a bookmark between the pages and pushed myself off the bed.
Was it Elliot? My feet gathered speed as I bounded down the stairs, a surge of giddiness brewing in my abdomen.
As my eyes connected with the person standing in the doorway, my face fell.
Kendra.
My eyelids became slits as I stared at her, my jaw tensing as my steps slowed.
She stood timidly at the entrance of the house, clutching the purse on her shoulder with both hands.
My mom stared back and forth, looking quizzically between the two of us. She had no idea I wasn’t hanging out with Kendra anymore. And I wasn’t in the mood to enlighten her.
With a slight tilt of my head, I subtly signaled for my mom to give us some privacy.
Her eyes widened as realization dawned on her.
“Okay, then…” She cleared her throat. “I’ll just leave you girls to it.”
She pivoted on her heels, and as soon as her back was to Kendra, she discreetly raised an eyebrow at me before slipping away.
I clasped my hands together, refusing to speak first as Kendra closed the door and stepped toward me.
Avoiding her gaze, I looked down—only to be met with the atrocity that was my outfit.
Oversized basketball shorts and a sweatshirt.
Nothing I would ever wear to school. Welp, too late to be embarrassed now .
When I glanced back up, Kendra seemed just as uncomfortable as I was. She hesitated before breaking the silence. “Can we, um…can we talk?”
“You want to talk to me?” I placed a hand on my hip, scrunching the fabric of my nylon shorts. “What would Meredith think about that?”
“I don’t care what she thinks.”
I squinted at her. “Let’s go out back.”
We made our way down the corridor, heading toward the back of the house and stepping out through the glass sliding door.
A gentle breeze brushed my hair across my face. I tucked the stray strands behind my ear and glanced up at the clouds, hoping to catch a glimpse of the sun peeking over the horizon.
Though the South Carolina weather was beginning to warm, the crisp air still lingered. Wrapping my arms around myself, I rounded the bend near the pool and settled into a patio chair beside a circular table.
Kendra wore a weary expression.
“So…” I tugged at my sleeves, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I just…I heard what Meredith did.” She gnawed on her bottom lip, sighing. “I’m sorry. She can be a real bitch sometimes.”
“Wow.” I nodded aptly, my gaze fixated on my lap. “Who let you out from underneath her thumb?”
“I should’ve reached out sooner, I know.”
A strong wind swept across the yard, causing the shutters to rustle.
I rubbed my palms together, my legs bouncing reflexively as my body tried to generate some semblance of heat.
The weather seemed to imitate my own emotions—dull and solemn.
“Yeah, you should’ve.”
“I just—she can be very…intimidating.”
“I know.”
“The whole cupcake thing was super fucked up. I should’ve been there. Maybe I could’ve stopped her or—”
My face twisted as I narrowed my eyes at her, pushing my heels down onto the cold cement. A curt laugh escaped my lips. “You really think you would’ve left her shadow just to pretend to give a fuck about me?”
“Yes.”
“Sure.” I clicked my tongue, throwing myself back in the chair. “Where was this same energy three months ago, then?”
“Stuck inside a stupid girl who didn’t have the guts to use her voice.”
Her gaze dropped little by little until she was staring at the floor.
The crack in her voice alone proved her sincerity.
Maybe I’d been aiming my anger at the wrong person.
After all, she was here, trying to make things right—something Meredith would never do.
A slow breath left me as I pressed my eyes shut, guilt washing over me.
“Stop,” I muttered while rubbing my temples. “You’re not stupid.”
“But I was acting like it!” she exclaimed, her expression shifting from anger to regret.
“I got to where I am by learning how to keep my mouth shut, and I know it comes off as me not giving a shit, but I was just trying to ditch the whole angry, loud, ghetto black girl stereotype. Best way to do that is to not have an opinion about anything. So, I didn’t defend you,” She dragged her fingers through her braids, exhaling sharply. “And I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Okay, one: that stereotype is bullshit. Two: you deserve to be angry if you feel like being angry. And three: fuck anyone who disagrees with one and two.”
A soft laugh bubbled from her throat, trembling on the edge of a sob. Her fingers curled around the black fabric on her wrist, twisting it absently. “Seriously, if I could go back and—”
“You can’t, Kendra. You can never go back. What’s done is done,” I said in a clipped voice, my fingers tightening into a fist.
The past is written in stone.
My mind sloshed with things I wish I could change and people I wish I could see, but there was no going back. Flaring my nostrils, I slowly inhaled, trying to ease my thoughts back inside the jail they previously occupied. “What changed?”
“Being Meredith’s friend is feeling more like a chore these days.
Nothing was the same after you left and honestly, she’s pissing me off more and more every day.
Like who announces their running for Prom Queen, the day their best friend wins Homecoming Queen?
” Her brows pinched together as she dropped her hands roughly onto her lap.
A slight scowl took hold of her lips. “She should just run for ‘Petty Queen.’ I’m sure she’d win that. ”
I released a puff of air that had been caught in my throat. My back loosened as I slouched back in my chair. It was a good joke—a true one too, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile.
“She’d win for sure.”
“Seriously, though,” she begged, desperation threading throughout her voice. “I’m so sorry, Clarke. What can I do to make it up to you? What can I do to get my friend back?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to fight her? I’ll fight her.”
“No, you can’t fi—”
“Grovel?”
“No.”
“Say sorry every day for the rest of our lives?”
“Ken—”
“What if…what if I jump into the pool…?”
I stared at her as though she had magically transformed into a zebra with two heads, right before my eyes. My eyebrows rocketed to my hairline. I dragged my head from side to side, my lips parting in shock. She couldn’t be serious, right? It was fifty-five degrees out.
“It’s freezing, and you don’t have a swimsuit.”
“Don’t need one.”
Without sparing a single second, Kendra pushed herself from the chair and kicked off her shoes. Raking her fingers through her braids, she pulled the black scrunchie from her wrist, twisting it around her locks.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Deadass.”
“Kendra…”
Her feet smacked softly against the concrete as she burst into a sprint toward the pool.
Before I could react, she leaped into the air, flinging herself into the water. Several cold droplets exploded outward, drenching the nearby furniture—and me.
I let out a sharp gasp.
When she resurfaced, she sucked in a breath, dragging her hands over her face. She mumbled something under her breath, legs treading water as her soaked clothes clung to her skin. I stared at her, dumbfounded.
“Will y-you p-please forgive me n-now?”
I rushed toward the pool, stretching my arm out for her to grab. “You’re being ridiculous! Get out of there!”
“Anything t-t-to get my friend back,” she stammered through chattering teeth.
“Dude, you’re literally shaking!” I wiggled my arm, urging her to take it, my expression pleading. “Come on!”
Kendra let out a shaky laugh. “I’m j-just super excited to be swimming. Y-you know what they say about b-black girls and pools…we just love water.”
“Kendra fucking Barrett, get out of the pool!”
“No!”
Jesus.
And I thought I was stubborn.
I stared at her as she bobbed in the water, looking more like a drenched, miserable cat than the friend I once knew.
I missed her. I really did. But could I forgive her? I guess if I wanted the outcasts to give me a second chance, the least I could do was offer the same to Kendra. Besides, she had come all this way just to apologize.
I let out a long sigh before finally giving in.
“Do you wanna sit with me at lunch?”
Her eyes widened before a grin spread across her face. “Fuck yeah, I will.”
“Where’s Andrew and Dani?”
“Uhh,” Elliot stuttered while nearly tripping over the folded edge of the rug in his living room. “They can’t come.”
“What?” I whined, puffing out my lower lip. “And here I was looking forward to kicking Andrew’s butt.”
“The only butt you’re supposed to be touching is mine.”
Oh. My. God. “At Zombies !”
“ Sure . All you have to do is ask, Princess, and I’m all yours.”