22
WESLEY
I’ve been hiding in my room most of the day. Today is Cole’s birthday. Thea and I had our morning workout, but after that I holed myself up.
As much as I wanted to skip the gym this morning, I’m taking Damian’s task of training Thea seriously. I started her self-defense training after she was attacked a few months ago, although lately I haven’t been diligent considering everything going on.
Today, we worked on hand to hand combat. I managed to slip it in between weights and cardio. She didn’t argue. I didn’t ask, but I assume Cole’s birthday is what made her nearly silent our entire session—it’s affecting all of us. We parted with a quick kiss. I haven’t seen her since.
My towel hangs low on my hips as I look for something to wear for tonight. I’m hoping I can slip out of the house without anyone seeing me. I settle on a black long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans.
I dry my hair and get dressed. Looking in the mirror, I cringe at the mess atop my head. I search my bathroom and find a small jar of hair product. Styling my hair has never been a priority, so it’s a learning curve as I figure out the right amount to use and how to lay my hair in a way that doesn’t make me feel like an imposter. I fail at both.
Looking at my phone, I realize I don’t have time to fix it. I have to go.
Taking the steps at a jog, I hit the landing and look around the dining room and kitchen. All clear.
“Hey,” Thea calls out from the living room. My eyes meet hers. She’s curled up, her laptop propped up on the arm of the couch.
Smiling, I head over to her. “Hey.” I lean down, cupping her jaw in my hand and kiss her sweetly.
“Mmmm. You smell good.” Thea’s eyes stay closed even after I pull away, as if she’s committing the smell of me to memory. That makes me feel worse about what I’m about to do. I sense the question before she asks. “Where are you off to?” Her face twists in confusion as she stares at the top of my head. “Your hair…”
Self-consciously, I touch my head—it’s stiff from the product. “How bad does it look?”
She smiles. “No, it doesn’t look bad. It’s just different. I’ve never seen your hair styled.” Her lips turn down and I know the wheels in her head are turning. “It looks nice.”
I know if I try to leave without giving her an answer, she’ll be wondering why. She’s too smart to try to pull one over on her. “I’m headed out to meet with a potential client.”
Her eyes glance at the time on her computer. Fuck.
“This late?”
I hate lying, but I don’t have a choice right now. “Yeah. This is a new client who’s possibly going to spend big bucks on climbing this winter. They insisted on dinner first.”
Her big blue eyes waver. She doesn’t buy it and I don’t know how I’m going to convince her if she challenges me. Instead, she nods. That might be worse than her calling me out. She’s trusting me, even though her gut is telling her not to.
Kissing her again, I grab my keys off the kitchen counter and head out.
The guilt is gnawing at me. It shouldn’t. We all have our secrets, so why can’t I have mine? I’m not putting anyone at risk except myself.
Thea’s got her detective stuff that she’s keeping to herself. She lied about things when she thought Gavin was stalking her. Sutton has always been introverted, so I’m sure he has plenty he hasn’t told us. I could see Damian’s eyes dart away briefly yesterday when he was telling us how to help Thea. He’s hiding something too, I just don’t know what.
We all have our secrets. I shouldn’t feel bad.
If I thought that my brothers wouldn’t talk me out of this meeting, I might tell them. But I know them and they’d more than likely hold me down if it came to it. Meeting up with her is a bad idea, yet I can’t stop myself.
I start the car and drive off into the darkness.
THEA
Two hours ago, I texted Cassie on the burner phone she gave me yesterday. I mentioned to her that the guys have been tracking me and showed her that Damian somehow shared my phone’s location with himself.
She told me he could also be getting my text messages. Thankfully, I haven’t sent anything incriminating. Tonight is the first step of the plan and I need Cole completely distracted by me to pull it off.
While I did confess to Cass that he visits me, I didn’t tell her all the details of the last visit. I kept his decision to lie in my bed and touch me to myself. If I would’ve told her that, she wouldn’t go along with this. She’d probably tell me to let Anthony handle him, but I can’t ask that of her fiancé. If he’s caught, their life goes down the drain.
The situation isn’t ideal. I wish I could tell someone everything. It’s eating me up dealing with this by myself.
I’m staring into the darkness of my room when I hear the closet creak open and the bed dip beneath Cole’s weight. My body trembles against my will. I hate that he can so clearly tell that I’m terrified. And he doesn’t hide letting me know that as a low chuckle vibrates against my back.
His finger draws circles over my shoulder. I’ve worn a long sleeve shirt and pants with the drawstring pulled tight. I know that won’t help, but it made me feel better as I got dressed for bed.
“Love, why are you shaking so bad? Are you scared?” His breath crawls across my neck as he wraps his arm around me, pulling me tighter to him.
I just need to make it through tonight. I can do that.
I don’t answer him. What can I say?
He must agree because he speaks up instead of waiting for my reply. “You did so good not telling my brothers about my last visit,” Cole praises.
“How do you know I didn’t?” He thinks he knows everything.
“Do you really think they’d let you keep sleeping in here alone if they knew?” I hate that he has a point. “I’ve been thinking about the detective. I think he could become a real problem for you. My brothers could find out at any moment. How would that make you look? Is it making you nervous that all of your secrets could crumble at any second?”
My breath catches. I’m not sure if he’s taunting me or threatening me. It’s hard to tell with him. The unknown makes my stomach twist. Either way, it’s something for him to hold over my head. A way for him to exert power over me. “I’ve already told them,” I counter, trying to regain some control of this situation.
He laughs against my skin. “Oh, you might have told them something, but we both know you didn’t tell them the truth. Or at least the whole truth. You love a good lie and shouldering the burden. It’s what you do best, right?” I want to fight back against him. I want to argue with him. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
But I can’t—it wouldn’t be the wise thing to do. He needs to think he’s in charge. I don’t need to answer because we both know he’s right. Even if I wanted to lie and say I’ve changed, he’d notice the change in my breath or feel my heartbeat pick up. Maybe he’d even feel my skin heat under the pressure of being deceitful.
“I know you much better than you think,” he says and sighs. “But onto happier matters. You haven’t wished me a happy birthday yet, love.” I don’t say anything. Cole’s grip on me tightens. “Say it,” he growls.
“Happy birthday, Cole.” I don’t give him any enthusiasm, although that doesn’t seem to faze him.
His arm loosens. “Thank you. Now, my gift.” Cole’s hand drifts down my stomach to the waistband of my pants. I swallow around the knot in my throat and become deathly still.
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I repeat it as he struggles to untie the drawstring. For a moment, I think he might give up and that I’ve thrown a wrench into his plans. Then, the string gives and he dips into my pants, then pauses.
“Tell me it’s okay, Thea. I need your consent.” It feels like a taunt—it probably is. For a moment I wonder if he’ll leave if I say no. That’s not something I can risk, though. I need him here for a little while longer.
Taking a breath, I give him permission and suddenly I don’t feel justified in being angry. I’m handing him control, so how can I be upset? How can whatever he’s going to do be wrong? I’m letting him.
In my ear he confesses, “I’m going to turn you into something my brothers hate. That you hate. I’m going to ruin you. They won’t want you after I’m finished.” His fingers slide beneath my panties and I want to scream.
Instead, a lone tear springs free and rolls down my face. I don’t know if I’m crying because he’s forced me into this or because I hate him or maybe I hate myself for letting it come to this.
Cole doesn’t get my sobs or my protests. I quietly cry as he permanently leaves his mark on me, one that can’t be covered up or washed away. I’ll remember this moment for the rest of my life. The moment he took a part of me that I can never get back.
The minutes drag on. I don’t know how long he assaults me. He doesn’t say anything when he pulls his hand from my body or leaves for the night. It’s all so brutally serene. I almost wonder if it even happened or if I dreamed it.
But the ache between my legs tells me it did. It happened.
I reach beneath my mattress where I have the burner phone stashed and go to the bathroom. I want to call Cassie, but I don’t trust myself not to cry. I text her instead.
Me: He’s on his way back. Mission accomplished?
The two minutes I wait for a reply are the longest of my life.
Cassie: All done. We’re on our way home. You good?
Me: Yeah. Are you sure he won’t realize the tracker is in his car?
Cassie: No way! Anthony hid it well.
Cassie: Btw, how did you know he was coming tonight?
I didn’t tell her about the camera.
Me: He told me the last time he visited that he’d be back tonight. How did you pull it off?
Cassie: Anthony and I drove separately. We each pulled off the road and hid our cars in the tree line, then waited until we saw him. He’s not exactly the brightest. He passed my car and pulled off on the shoulder. I watched him get out and walk into the woods up to the house.
Me: Thank you. And tell Anthony I said thank you, too.
Cassie: Anything for you! Anthony’s going to track him and give you the details soon. Goodnight, see you Saturday.
Me: Goodnight.
I set the phone on the counter before turning on the shower. Once it’s hot, I sit in the corner and let the hot water sting my skin, hoping it’ll ease some of the pain I feel inside. It doesn’t. I cry softly into my hands until I have no more tears left—at least for now.
Unlocking the door, I tuck myself into bed and slip the phone back beneath the mattress, careful to not let the camera see.
I don’t fall asleep right away. My chest aches unbearably and every noise I hear outside makes me jump. Eventually, I can’t keep my eyes open any longer and I’m pulled under, only to be confronted by Cole in my nightmares.