Chapter 8
EIGHT
I’m lurking in the hallway like a creep as Hallie, Madden, and Emma play Uno.
Simultaneously, I’m attempting to decode what the fuck I just did, not just agreeing but encouraging Hallie to move into Madden’s old place.
She looked to me for help, for someone on her side to say the idea was bonkers, but in the moment, I couldn’t seem to think of why it wasn’t a good idea.
And now, watching the unwavering smile on Emma’s face and realizing I haven’t had any actual arguments with her in a few days, I can’t find it in me to say having Hallie closer and spending more time with my daughter would be bad.
It’s mostly just for my own sanity, but I’ve been putting Emma above my own surface-level wants and needs since Kim left.
“Seems Emma and Hallie get along pretty well. It will be good to have her around here more,” Dad says, scaring me as he steps beside me in the hall.
I nod, unable to argue that. “She always did fit in around here. Even when she was a kid, she always seemed to love being out this way. She gets the magic of the farm, like you and I do.”
I shrug, not sure of how to feel about that, about Hallie loving this place the way Dad and I do.
Madden doesn’t. He needs people and entertainment, and business at all times of the day.
It’s why, when he came back from college, he only lasted here for a year.
He needs the hustle and bustle of downtown, even if it is a sleepy small town like Holly Ridge.
Mom and Wren are the same way, but Dad and I…
we aren’t. If it were up to us, we’d never leave this place.
You plugged me into the life you wanted, making me play house in a family I never asked for.
The words rattle in my mind, a long-forgotten memory of the blowout fight Kim and I had, and even though I push it away quickly, it leaves an all-too-familiar sour taste in my mouth.
I sigh, trying to remember what we were talking about, and the sound of Emma shouting, “Uno!” from the living room brings me back.
My eyes shift there, catching Hallie laughing as Madden grumbles something, taking a card from the pile of cards in the center before giving her a mischievous look.
“Yeah, well, maybe that means Madden will see it too, one day,” I say, giving him a knowing look. His face goes confused for a moment, and he opens his mouth to say something, but he’s cut off before he can.
“You should know by now that Jesse’s blind, Pete,” Mom says, putting a hand to my dad’s shoulder and giving me a soft look. “He’ll get it one day.”
Dad tries to hide an amused smile, and Mom gives me a warm look that is almost sympathetic, leaving me completely confused.
“What—” I start, but Mom shakes her head, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a keyring with two gold house keys on it. There’s a Holly Ridge Elementary keychain dangling alongside them from some fundraiser Wren helped to host last year.
“Go show Hallie her new place. It shouldn’t be dusty, since I was storing gifts in there this year,” she says with a tip of her chin toward the den where Emma, Hallie, and Madden are playing.
I grab the keys, eager to get away from my parents' suddenly assessing eyes, before moving toward the living room.
“You lose, Uncle Madd!” Emma calls as she throws down her last card.
“Because you cheated!”
“Are you accusing an eleven-year-old of cheating?” Hallie asks, her voice suspiciously teasing. Her hair is pushed behind her shoulders and tucked behind an ear, highlighting a row of mismatched stud earrings dotted along them.
“No, I’m accusing a twenty-seven-year-old of helping an eleven-year-old cheat.
” Madden turns to look at me, a stoic look on his face.
“Hey, big brother, did you know you’re raising a cheater?
And letting her spend time with an even bigger cheater?
” Madden asks, turning in my direction and knocking me out of my creep mode.
“Just because you suck at Uno does not mean I’m a cheater, Madden,” Hallie says with a smirk that is far too guilty to be innocent.
“You were the dealer! That means you cheated!” Madden says, throwing his hands in the air. I’d think he was being dramatic, but then Hallie shifts, revealing a small stack of five or six cards tucked discreetly under her ass, and I have to bite back a laugh.
“You know, if I weren’t best friends with your baby sister, I would undoubtedly think you’re a spoiled youngest child,” Hallie says with a tone akin to a disappointed parent before turning to Emma and winking.
Emma giggles, never able to keep a secret to save her life, and Madden narrows his gaze at my daughter.
“He still is,” I say, helping to create a diversion. “The youngest son might as well be the baby of the family. Wren has much more responsibility than he does.”
”You’re so right,” Hallie says. “He truly is a big, fat, spoiled mama’s boy.”
“What the fuck! Why are you two ganging up on me? You two don’t even like each other!” Emma reaches over and pats her uncle’s shoulder.
“It’s okay to admit you’re just terrible at Uno, Uncle Madd.”
That does Hallie in, and she bursts out laughing.
Madden’s face turns red with irritation, and it really is entertaining.
Madden has always been a sore loser: there’s a tiny scar on my chin where he threw a controller at me when he was nine, and I was ten and beat him at Mario Kart.
He was grounded for about a month after that, but it didn’t ease his hatred of losing.
“You’re so cute when you throw a temper tantrum, Madd,” Hallie says when her laughter dies down.
He flips her off to his side, out of Emma’s line of sight, and she blows him a kiss, making Emma laugh out loud.
“Don’t you agree, Jesse?” Her face is one of pure innocence, even though I know she’s doing everything she can to piss Madden off and is obviously succeeding.
“That’s my brother, Hallie. That’s weird,” Madden says.
Hallie turns to him, exasperated. “He can be objective. I’d ask Wren, but she’s across the world. Though she would absolutely agree, you look cute throwing a fit because you didn’t get your way.”
“Wren’s opinion wouldn’t count. She always takes your side,” Madden whines, and Hallie preens.
They’ve always had this back-and-forth bantering relationship, the tension always so high, and I’m always wondering when—if—they’re just going to give in to it right then and there and admit they’re wild for one another.
“Because it’s the right side.” She turns to me again. “What do you think, Jess? Isn’t Madden just adorable when he throws a fit like a toddler?”
“Yeah, the cutest, whatever.” She grins, the happy look directed at Madden instead of me as she lifts her hand and leans forward, patting his cheek. It twists something in my chest, and I decide I need to get out of her.
And take Hallie with me.
Mature? No. Rational? Fuck no. But I’m doing it anyway.
“Want to see the house now?” That’s why I came here, after all, to show her the house. My sudden need to get out of the house has nothing to do with my lack of desire to watch Hallie and my younger brother flirt the way they always do.
“Yeah, that would be great,” Hallie says, gathering her cards and putting them into a pile before handing them to Madden.
“Can I come?” Emma asks.
Hallie looks to me, not wanting to answer before I do, and I shrug and nod. “Yeah, that’s fine. Say goodbye to your grandparents and get your boots and jacket on. We’ll head home after.”
Emma nods, then all three of them stand before Emma hugs her uncle and runs excitedly out of the den toward my parents.
“Later, Madd,” Hallie says as my brother moves to pull her into a hug, and I look away, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Later, Hallie. Let me know if you need pictures for the account this week. I know you like to get shots of everything covered in snow. I can take you out on the four-wheeler if needed.”
“All right, I’ll let you know. Though now that I’ll be living here,” she starts, excitement clear in her voice despite her previous hesitation, “I can just go wandering on my own.”
“Better get better shoes before you do,” I mumble under my breath without meaning to.
She turns to me with a wide smile, then rolls her eyes before turning away in the direction Emma went. Before she’s through the door, she looks over her shoulder.
“Come on, show me to my new home.”
TKbrEAK
I walk in silence to Madden’s old place, which is basically a two-minute walk from my house, something I’m not totally sure how I should feel about.
The girls chatter incessantly the whole walk.
Emma is going on about how exciting it will be to have a girl nearby, and I'm staying silent. When we approach the small home, I take a wider step to unlock the door first, then turn on the light. Dad keeps the heat on all winter to avoid the pipes freezing, but it’s still freezing in here, so I find the thermostat and crank it up before looking around as the girls enter.
As Mom promised, it’s relatively clean, though it has a bit of that unlived-in house smell; that’s really the only issue.
It’s not a huge place, intended just for one or two people to live in, but everywhere Hallie goes to inspect, her eyes light up, talking to Emma about decorations or design ideas.
It seems she isn’t even formally moved in, and she’s already making plans with my daughter, promising to take her to one of those big-box home decor stores sometime so Emma can give her input on everything from lamps to throw blankets.