Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
On Friday, Wren takes a half day at work, and we pile into two cars to head up to Vermont, Madden and Adam both driving.
I was confused that Jesse chose not to drive, but it made more sense when he sat in the back with me, Madden, and Nat in the front, since Nat gets car sick in the back.
The entire drive, he finds excuses to brush against me.
We get to the lodge by four, and after settling into the hotel room Adam so graciously paid for, Wren begs me and Nat to come over to their room to get dressed and do our makeup for dinner and a night at the bar at the lodge.
It’s fun and silly, the three of us laughing and giggling as we get dressed.
Nat leaves to answer a call from the salon, and a bit later, Adam returns to the room.
“You look gorgeous,” he says, pulling Wren into his arms after taking in her tight burgundy dress. He presses his lips to hers, and a blush burns on my best friend’s cheeks as she pushes on his chest.
“Adam!” she says with a giggle. “You’re going to mess my makeup up!”
“I’m okay with that,” he murmurs, and her eyes go wide.
“Hallie is here!” she says under her breath, and I laugh, taking a hint and standing.
“Okay, on that note, I’m going to head down to the lobby.”
“We’ll meet you down there in ten,” Wren says, biting her lip.
“Make it forty,” Adam says.
“Adam!” she says, slapping at his chest. “Everyone is here for you!”
“It’s my birthday trip, Birdie. I’m sure everyone will understand me wanting to spend some time alone with my girlfriend.”
“It’s still rude!”
I shake my head and laugh at their antics.
“It’s all good, Wren, enjoy your time together. I’ll make sure no one bugs you two for an hour.”
“You’re my favorite, Hallie. Remember that.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I say with a wave, then walk out, the heavy door slamming behind me.
I head down the hall, shaking my head, and then stop when my brother steps out of his room.
I’m still not sure how Adam convinced Colt to leave the bar in his assistant manager’s hands for the weekend, but I’m grateful.
I don’t know when I last saw my brother enjoy himself outside of work.
He smiles wide, waiting for me to catch up before throwing an arm over my shoulder.
“Hey there, Hal. Where are you headed?”
“Downstairs. I was getting ready with Wren, but they started getting all touchy-feely and, well, you know.”
Colt nods with a knowing look. “Well, that means I can get a drink with my favorite sister before dinner, I guess.”
I look up at him with a smile, warmth in my chest since I have missed spending time with my brother, and then we head to the lobby bar together.
I should have known it was coming, but I’m on a vacation high, or maybe it’s the elevation, but barely five minutes after settling into a corner bar table, he strikes.
“Hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with Emma and Jesse,” he says, and I force my body to remain loose, not to get too tight, since if anyone can read me, it’s Colton.
“Yeah, I watched her while Wren was out in Paris.”
He nods, taking a sip of his beer and keeping his eyes on me.
“Word on the street is you’re there a lot.”
I lift a questioning eyebrow. “Word on what street?”
He grins. “Madden,”
My jaw tightens, and I shake my head with an irritated sigh. “Madden has a big fucking mouth,” I say, taking a long sip of my drink. Bad move, since Colton takes the opportunity to land his next hit.
“Are you finally going to admit you’re in love with your best friend’s brother?”
“What—” I start, but his face is so sincere, so kind and nonjudgmental, I hesitate in my argument, in my denial.
At some point, I’m going to have to make a choice, and I’m realizing that choice, made rapidly, is never going to be letting Jesse go. Eventually, everything will be out in the world if I’m going to confess this to anyone before we tell everyone, Colton’s the safest of them all.
“I think love is a bit of an exaggeration,” I murmur, though these days, I don’t actually know if that’s it.
A moment of surprise crosses my brother’s face as if he thought he’d have to work harder for a confession, but he bounces back quickly, crossing his arms on his chest and sitting back.
“So you’re together?” he asks, taking me in.
“We’re not…I don’t know. I’ve been trying to do a friends-with-benefits thing with him, but he isn’t into it. He wants all or nothing.”
Colton let out a short huff of a laugh. “He’s Jesse King. That doesn’t surprise me in the least. So, you’re the one looking for just friends?”
I brush off the disbelief in his words.
“I…I don’t know. I like him a lot, of course. But it’s…complicated.”
“I feel like you two getting together would be the least complicated relationship that Holly Ridge has ever seen. You’re already a King by extension.”
“That’s the problem,” I say with a shake of my head and a sigh.
My brother looks at me with a raised eyebrow but says nothing else.
“Wren is my best friend, more a sister than a friend. Her parents are more like parents to me than our own. I work for them and work right with Madden. Fuck, I live on their property.”
“Okay…” he says as if he doesn’t understand, but I can tell from his face he does.
He’s just waiting for me to say it out loud, as is his way.
A bartender through and through, the man is half therapist, always waiting for you to process all of your thoughts before he adds any of his own.
“So, are you afraid that Wren and the rest of them are going to be mad?”
“No,” I say with a choked laugh and shake of my head. “Are you kidding me? Wren would dance with joy. When we were kids, we made plans for me to marry one of them so I could be her real sister.”
“Good choice with Jesse. You’d eat Madden alive,” he says with a laugh, and I return it, then nod in agreement, and wonder how on earth Jesse never saw that.
“Exactly,” I take in a deep breath. “But if I tell her there’s something with Jesse and me, and we start dating, she’ll be thrilled.
She’ll more than likely start planning our wedding, and Mrs. King will be right with her, happy at least one of her boys is settling down.
” Colt nods, knowing this to be true. He was in the same grade as Madden, and he’s always been friends with both of the boys and thus knows all about Mrs. King’s woes.
“But what happens when it ends? What happens when we break up or decide it just doesn’t work the way we thought, and it ends? ”
He tips his head, assessing.
“Interesting that you said when and not if,” he says after a moment, and I roll my eyes.
“You know what I meant.”
“Do I?” I glare at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine before he adds, “I just think it’s interesting that your instinct isn’t to think that things will work out and everyone will be happily ever after, you know?”
“It’s not like I had the best example of a happy, loving relationship,” I say under my breath, my finger playing with the condensation on the side of the glass.
“Mr. and Mrs. King?” he asks, with a pointed look.
“They’re a freak relationship, meant to happen.“
He shrugs. “Adam and Wren are pretty perfect.”
“They started dating three months ago. And, besides, Wren is a fairy princess who gives everything to everyone. She deserves the most amazing happiness.”
“And you don’t?” The question comes so quickly, like he’d been waiting to ask it, and it makes my defenses go even higher.
“What is this, therapy?” He looks at me, unyielding, and I try to explain, to get him to understand where I’m coming from.
“I have to be rational, Colton. It might not end, but what happens if it does? What happens if it ends and ruins everything? I’d lose them all.
” His face goes soft, and he leans in, reaching across the table to grab my hand and squeeze it.
“I think you have to decide if you want to live your life or keep yourself safe, Hallie. It’s clear you’ve been doing the latter for most of your adult life, but have you been happy?
” I think about the vision boards in my room, all of them ambitious and exciting, yet incomplete.
While some of those items aren’t crossed off because they were entirely unattainable, others are simply because I was too scared to try.
“The truth is, you’ll never know if something is going to last forever.
If you look for the potential bad, you’ll always find it.
Sometimes you just gotta jump and believe in the promise of forever.
” My heart races with his words. “The promise, the hope of it—isn’t that what love is all about?
What is life all about? Knowing you won’t be promised forever, knowing it could destroy you, and trusting in reaching for it anyway? ”
Suddenly, it’s like a new door has opened, a new choice that I didn’t realize was there.
It’s not just saying yes and worrying for the rest of my life or saying no and regretting it.
There’s saying yes and trusting in my choice.
Saying yes, and trusting that when I slip, Jesse will catch me before I fall.
And when I ask myself that—when I ask myself if I can trust that Jesse will catch me—the answer is clear.
It always has been.
I’m mulling over his words and my new realization, about to speak when a familiar voice calls. I turn and see everyone coming out our way—all three Kings, plus Nat and Adam—walking our way, and I smile.
Break TK
My brother, just as bad as Wren, plays matchmaker that night when he manipulates the table seating so I sit next to Jesse, not that I’m complaining.
The only thing I am complaining about is the constant teasing.
Jesse’s arm lies casually along the back of my chair, which is normal for him, but occasionally, there are the most gentle touches of his skin on mine.
My bare shoulder in my off-the-shoulder sweater dress.
The back of my neck.