Chapter 26
Kyle
I've never been a massive gamer, but I’ll play occasionally when Nick or Lewis beg me for long enough. Usually they only need me to make up their team on whatever shit game they’re battling on at the time. Today it’s Call of duty, which is kind of annoying because it’s a split screen game when you use the two player feature. This is annoying because I always end up looking at the wrong side of the screen, meaning my player is walking into walls and shit. This almost always results in us loosing and Nick proceeding to blame for it. The blame game lasts at least five business days, where he grumbles something under his breath every time he passes me in the kitchen. I say he needs to get a fucking life.
We’ve been playing for less than five minutes when Nick starts pacing around the room, yelling instructions at me that I barely comprehend. So when there’s a light tap on the door, I'm practically skidding across the living room floor to answer it.
“Fucking hell Ky, you can’t bail mid game, you’re going to leave me vulnerable.” Nick shrieks from the couch, one hand waving through the air as he batters his remote with the other.
I frisbee my own remote across the room to land softly beside him on the sofa, earning me another flap of his hands, before he ends the game early and goes back to playing alone. Callie and Sean stand murmuring secrets to each other in the kitchen, probably planning their next escapade to the park tonight to fuck in the bushes or something. They have some sort of new obsession with sex in public places, I swear the pair of them are like cavemen sometimes.
I swing the front door open and a flash of dark curls ducks under my arm before I can blink. “Hi Lo, nice to see you too.” I laugh, but she’s already across the kitchen.
Molly grins at me from the now open doorway, an extra large punnet of strawberries tucked under her arm. “She’s been extra hyper the whole car ride here, she even moaned when I said I wanted to stop off and get some of Callie’s favourite strawberries on the way.” She pecks a kiss to my lips and moves past me, arms outstretched for Callie. She gives her best friend a quick squeeze, before Lois bursts into flames beside her, eager to press her ear to Callie’s ever growing bump.
“Hey Lo,” Sean sings, reaching out to his little sister for a hug, “come to visit your big brother?”
Lois’ expression twists in disgust as she bat his hands away. “Ew, no, I've come to see my niece.” She grabs Callie’s belly gently, pressing a kiss to the centre and giving it a little pat-pat.
Callie and Sean found out they were having a girl yesterday. I’ve never seen Sean’s face flush so white and I could see the anxiety clouding his eyes the entire evening after they found out the news. He’s going to be a great dad, but I know little girls aren’t really his territory. If he was honest with himself, he’d have to admit just how fucking terrified he is to have a baby girl to look after. It’s all insecurity with him though, and once Callie talked him down from the ledge, convinced him how amazing it will be to have a girl and how much she's going to love him, he was like a love sick puppy over it. All the man does is hold Callie’s belly constantly, dropping kisses and whispering to his daughter any chance he gets. It’s cute, I have to admit, especially since he’s so fucking massive and dominating on the ice. Watching him totally melt over Callie and now his mini version of her is heart-warming to see.
“Oh my god Lo,” Callie gasps, hand flying to her stomach, “do that again.” Lois pulls her eyebrows together. “What? This?” She pats Callie’s round belly and Callie’s eyes sparkle, jaw open wide.
“OH MY GOD!” She squeals, fists shaking with excitement. “She just kicked!”
Suddenly everyone is gathered around Callie, all of us pressing our hands to her stomach and waiting to feel a tiny hand or foot prod at us. Sean quickly shoves at us all, moving through the gathering. “Move!” He falls to his knees and holds both huge palms flat against Callie’s stomach, cradling it and pressing this cheek into her skin. “Come on, kick for Daddy.” He waits a moment, all of us watching, but nothing happens. Sean lets out a groan, peering up at Callie with sad eyes. “Why won’t she kick for me?”
“She doesn’t like you,” Lois taunts, her voice dry and unwavering. Sean’s panicked gaze lifts back to Callie, who strokes his cheek and says, “She’s joking babe.”
Lois scoffs from where she leans back against the island, “I'm not,” which earns her a warning glare from the mother to be, along with a sneaky jab to the ribs.
Sean sighs and gets to his feet. “What if she actually doesn’t like me? What if she cries every time I hold her, or what if—?”
Callie presses a finger to his rambling lips. “She’ll love you, stop stressing.”
“I’m scared baby. I want to be good for her, for both of you.”
Molly's hands come around my torso from behind and she ducks under my arm. “Sean, you’re like the poster boy for world's best boyfriend, I'm sure you’ll be a great dad too.”
Sean’s eyes glisten and he rubs a prideful hand down his chest. “Really? That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to be Mol.”
Molly shrugs as I drop a kiss to her temple. “Well, my best friend happens to be in love with you, so…”
Molly is fiery as can be, but the soft side that only I get to see is becoming more prominent by the day. The more time she spends with me, the mushier she's becoming. I love it.
Sean turns back to Callie, laying two broad hands on her hips. “She’ll kick for Daddy soon right?”
Callie’s lips come together in a purse, likely swallowing whatever teasing comment she wants to make. “Well, I don’t know, I can’t really communicate with her in there.” She rubs a hand over her stomach, “But maybe if you piss her off a bit, like you do to me, then she will launch her tiny foot towards your face.” She grins and Sean copies, placing his hand over her’s where it rests on her belly. “Also, can you stop calling yourself Daddy please?”
“Why?” Sean’s face goes from confused to amused, so fucking quick I barely catch it. “Ohhh, you like it?” Callie’s cheeks turn a familiar shade of pink and I squash my own laugh down into my chest. “Is it turning you on?” Sean continues teasing her, but before he can say anything else, Molly clears her throat next to me.
She’s still tucked into my side when she crinkles her nose. “Can you two do that somewhere else please?” She grimaces and I watch Sean nod towards the staircase, but Callie is already on her way there. “Jesus, you two are out of control.” Molly laughs, her sing song voice rattling through my ears. “No wonder you’re pregnant Cal.”
Callie flicks her a playful bird, as Sean chases her up the stairs and we quickly hear his bedroom door slam shut.
“That will keep them busy for a while.” Molly chuckles, moving out of my grasp and pouring us both a drink from the array of non alcoholic cocktails that line the sides of the kitchen counter. Sean insists we don’t keep any alcohol in the house now until the baby is born, just incase Callie accidentally drinks some. She thinks he’s being over protective, but the man is nothing if not vigilant. He’s resorted to checking the shopping bags when we come home with anything in a bottle, like he’s some sort of security guard.
Lois quickly plonks herself down on the couch beside Nick, who is still very much engrossed in his solo game of COD. Lois is jabbering in his ear, but Nick’s expression is fixed on the TV screen, ignoring Lois’ attempts to engage in conversation with him. To be honest, I’m pretty damn sure Lois has a Godzilla sized crush on Nick, that most definitely isn’t reciprocated. She better hope Sean doesn’t sniff out her infatuation with one of his best friends, or it’s likely all hell will break loose.
I start to follow Molly to the armchair, her always wanting to sit on my lap when we’re here and I of course, never deny her that privilege. But I feel a vibration in my pocket, so I stop half way to the living room and pull it out, seeing my mum’s name on the screen and immediately pocketing it again. I don’t want to deal with her today, come to think of it, I haven’t heard from her in a few weeks after she harassed me for money. Huh, guess she got her fix some other way.
But only seconds after I shove my phone back into my pocket, she calls again. So I curse under my breath, lift a finger to signal to Molly that I'm stepping out for a minute and then leave through the front door. This is not a call I need people to overhear and I certainly don’t need to drag Molly into any of the drama that seems to surround my mum constantly. I know I could ignore her, but the responsibility I feel towards her is like an invisible string that I can’t seem to get a grip on to cut.
So, I press the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
A gruff voice takes me by surprise. “Hello, am I speaking to Kyle?” “Erm, yeah…”
“Hi Kyle, my name is Doctor Pattinson, at Northview Hospital in North London.” His voice trails off a little at the end and my chest almost collapses in on itself.
“Ok, erm…is my mum ok?” My throat is tight, voice cracking as I force the onslaught of anxiety down into the deepest crevice of my brain. “She overdosed on heroine earlier today and an ambulance brought her in, she’s stable at the moment and she’s asking for you.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck.
“Ok, erm…” I rake a shaky hand through my hair and try to calm the wobble in my voice. “Tell her I’ll be there in an hour.”
I shove my phone into my pocket with a quaking hand, sucking in a breath to try and steady my heartbeat — not that it does much good — and go back inside to my girl. She’s siting cross legged on our armchair, waiting for me. Her stormy blue eyes are focused on the screen, as Nick fires animated shots at people, the sound echoing through the living room. Molly’s eyes find mine as I cross the room. “You ok?” She sings, mouth turned into a smile that quickly fades when she notes my less than happy expression. “What’s going on?”
“I just erm,” I squeeze the nape of my neck, gaze tracking down to the floor. “I have to go somewhere…”
Molly gets to her feet and tilts my chin up, forcing my eyes to land on her’s. “Right now?”
I nod silently, before hauling her into a tight hug that instantly loosens the muscles that are currently crushing my lungs.
“Do you want me to come with you to this mystery place?” She chuckles lightly against my shoulder, but I can feel the tension in her shoulders. She wants to know what’s notably wrong with me, where I'm going and what the hell has sent my good mood south in less than five minutes. I want to tell her what’s going on, she already knows about my mum’s drug problems and everything that comes with it. But it doesn’t seem fair of me to burden her with my issues. I don't want to dull her sunshine, pass on the clouds that hang over me. This isn’t her problem to deal with, it's mine and I’ll do it on my own.
I drop Molly off at her dorm on my way to the hospital. I'm not very talkative because it feels like my brain may explode if I load it with any more thoughts, coherent or not so much. I feel awful when Molly gets out of my car, I can see the worry hanging over her as she glances back at me. She looks back at me once when she reaches the double doors, then again when she goes inside, peering through the glass with a deep line etched into her forehead. I’m not keeping this from her to be secretive or to keep her at arms length, pretty much the opposite actually. I don't want to drag her into this shit, she doesn’t need it bringing down her bright energy and positive spirit.
When I get to the hospital my body is spinning, anticipating what sight is going to fall on me when I walk into that place. But my phone pings as I reach the entrance and I open the message immediately when I see Molly’s name.
Molly:
‘I hope everything is ok Ky. I won’t push you to share anything with me, but I hope you know I'm here, whenever you need me.’
I want to respond. I want to tell her I fucking love her and my heart is aching. I want to tell her that I need her here with me and that I want her to hold my hand, as I walk into this horrific situation that waits for me. But I don’t, instead I send a simple emoji. The red heart pumps on the screen at me, before I shove my phone into my hoodie pocket and take the lift to the fourth floor.