Chapter 30 Don’t Stop Loving Me
DON’T STOP LOVING ME
Holt drops his backpack to the ground beside the boulder that sits half in and half out of the water. Rubble Lake, a fair trek off Mount-U Road, is a massive body of water in the shape of a horseshoe.
When Holt first brought me up Mount-U Road to Rubble Lake, he brought me to the other side. We’d ridden our bikes up the mountain road then, so maybe that’s why he didn’t bring me here. This is by far, a better view. Even if we had to hike for an hour to get here.
Holt explained the land isn’t a part of Blue Valley Estates, but it’s currently privately owned and for sale.
“I can’t believe no one has snatched this land up.”
“Dad says raw land is harder for people to buy. This land, being that it’s on a protected lake, also has a lot of restrictions that would need to be adhered to when it comes time to build.”
Holt drops to the rock, and I kick out of my shoes to walk into the still water of the clear blue lake. Tipping my head back, I close my eyes and bask in the warmth of the high sun on my face as the cool water seeps beyond my skin and into my bones. It’s a delicious feeling.
A little moan slips from between my lips and when I open my eyes, I find Holt watching me with a hunger that instantly sparks something similar within me.
His voice is rough, like the range of the very mountains that surround us. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
His eyes drop to my smile, and I start to walk through the water closer to him. Lifting my dress, I slide one knee onto the rock on one side of him, and then the other.
Holt’s hands come to my hips, and he pulls me closer, tipping his head back when I lower mine to claim a kiss. Holt takes over quickly with a big hand in my hair. The way we move together is familiar and comfortable and always, always hungry.
I don’t even know how many times I’ve been with Holt since that first time. I just know that my body has never stopped craving his. I don’t think it ever will.
His tongue lashes against mine before he kisses a path down my throat. His fingers tug at the straps of my dress, baring my breasts. I cry out when he sucks one into his mouth and then the other, my hands sinking into his hair as I grind myself over the hardness of his arousal.
“I want you,” I moan.
Holt curses. “I don’t have anything with me, Faye.”
“I don’t care.”
“Faye,” Holt groans my name. But I know he’s close to breaking.
“I’m on the pill.” I meet his eyes with my own. The espresso is so dark, his pupils so blown with want they nearly flood out the color. “I want to feel you. Only you, Holt.”
His fingers curl in my hair and he pulls my mouth to his, kissing me with a roughness that is new. I love it.
I want more of it. More of him.
I want everything.
Holt doesn’t ask me if I’m sure. His hands fumble with his shorts and then I feel his fingers push my panties to the side—then I feel him.
We moan together as he enters me in one quick thrust. His fingers dip into my hips as he pulls me even closer, grinding deeper.
“Fuck, Faye.” The words fall broken between us. “You feel so good like this. So hot and wet.”
His words do something to me, because before I know it, I’m riding him. His hands are on my ass, my waist, my breasts and in my hair. He kisses my lips, my chin and jaw, my breasts. I pull back and sink onto him over and over again, deeper and deeper.
Our moans are not restrained, and the sound of him sliding in and out of my body flood the forest—echoing off the mountain. I’ve never felt so close to him. Never felt so wrapped up in the rightness of this primal connection like I am now.
“I’m going to come, Faye.” His hand moves between us, and his thumb does that thing that drives me wild. “I want to feel you come first, baby. Come for me, Faye.”
I’m not sure if it’s his words or his thumb playing with my clit that draw the orgasm from deep within me, only that it comes like a rising tide to wash away all the fear I have of the impending future that looms over us.
The way we connect is real and real is worth fighting for.
Holt starts to thrust up into me in the erratic way he does in the moments before he’s about to come. And then I feel it—the hot spill of him inside me as I’ve never felt it before. I think it makes me even wetter.
Holt kisses me harder, staying buried deep inside me for a long time.
When he pulls out, I shift in his arms to sit in the cage of his lap with his arms tucked tightly around my middle.
“Are you ready for exams?”
I nod. “I think so.”
We both know Holt is ready. He’s just one of those people who is naturally good at everything.
“Are you sure you can’t come with me to Vancouver in July?”
“Dad asked me to wait until August. Besides, we could use the extra money.” I snuggle deeper into him. “But I’ll be there. You know I’ll be there.”
“I know.” Holt kisses the side of my neck. “But we’re pretty set for money, you know?”
We were. Together, we had just over thirty thousand dollars. I’ve saved almost every penny I made these last two and a half years. Holt has also been saving. We’re ready for this. We’ve got this.
“I also probably won’t be able to find a job until September when everyone starts school, so the extra month here will help.” I’d decided to take a year off school. Mainly because I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.
Everyone keeps telling me it’ll come to me. But the older I grow, the more I want Mom’s life. I want a family. I want quiet and simple and slow—and Holt.
“We’re going to be fine, Faye.”
I smile even though Holt can’t see it. Then, looking out over the lake, the words just fall from me. “I wish we could make our life here.”
Holt is silent and tense for a moment. “What do you mean?”
“Just that it’s pretty and peaceful here, is all.” I twist in his arms. “Imagine a house right over there. It’d have a big old porch and a swing just like the one Dad got Mom. We could have kids…”
I realize I’ve never talked about kids with Holt. When we talk about our future, it always revolves around hockey.
My voice croaks. “Do—do you want kids?”
“If you want kids, I want kids.”
I relax in his arms. I know he feels it.
Holt adds, “But I don’t want kids until way later, Faye. I’m talking in my thirties.”
I ignore the pinch in my heart, because of course, that makes sense. Holt has never been anything, but career oriented. I’d never ask something of him that might jeopardize his career in hockey. Never.
“I can wait.”
“Promise?” It’s the first time he’s sounded worried when he’s asked.
I assure, “I promise, Holt.”
“Good.” He drops his head to press a kiss to my cheek again. “I’ll buy this land for you one day, Faye. After I’ve made a shit ton of money playing for the Vikings, we’ll build that house you dream of right here on this land if that’s what you want.”
I twist in his arms. I know for a fact he can see the hope shining in my eyes when I ask breathlessly, “Do you promise?”
“With everything in me, I promise you, Faye. I’ll make you happy. Just—” He breaks off to let his forehead touch mine. “Just don’t stop loving me.”