Chapter 19
Mia waited for Cullen to do something, say something after her revelation. Instead, he simply lifted his fork to his mouth and took another bite.
He was taking it better than she’d expected. Then again, she hadn’t told him much.
“Markovic and Orrin worked several missions together as the US and Russia sought to continue strengthening relations. It began during the Cold War,” she said.
Cullen shrugged and continued eating.
She blinked and placed a bite in her mouth. Once she’d swallowed, she said, “Don’t you find it curious that Yuri was in Dover? The very place your father was kidnapped?”
“I do. I’m waiting for you to tell me how you know him.”
The food lodged in her throat before it slid down. Her gaze locked with his. She thought he might’ve seen her with Yuri when they’d talked at her hangar. Now, she knew for certain.
“Why didn’t you ask me while we were at the base?” she demanded.
He lifted one shoulder nonchalantly. “I’d hoped you would freely give the information.”
It wasn’t like she had a choice now. “I didn’t lie before. Some secrets are better left alone.”
“Secrets become heavier the longer they’re carried,” he replied smoothly.
Damn him. She looked down at her food and ate, no longer tasting the pasta as it hit her tongue. Her stomach churned with emotions—anger, fear, remorse, embarrassment.
Shame.
When she’d had all her stomach could handle, she set her bowl on the floor and tucked her legs against her on the couch. She focused on the flames as they flickered wildly in the fireplace.
“I flew my first plane at eight,” she said into the silence. “It was one of my father’s. I begged for lessons, and he made sure I had the best instructors. As soon as I sat in the pilot’s seat, I felt . . . like I was home. Like I’d found what I was destined to do.”
She smiled at the memory of being so joyful each time she stepped into a plane. “I went from flying Cessnas to executive jets. It was never enough. I wanted more. So I made sure I knew how to fly helicopters as well, and as wonderful as it was to be in the air, I still preferred planes.
“I spent every minute that I could flying. I racked up hours at an amazing rate. By the time I was sixteen, I was going to airshows and flying biplanes in aerobatics demonstrations. It was thrilling. For a while. At one of the shows, a colonel from the Air Force approached me. I barely listened to anything he said. I took his card and didn’t think about it again.
“A maid found the card while she was doing laundry and gave it to my father. Dad lost his shit. His face turned several shades of red as he ranted about me never serving in the military. He didn’t relent even when I reminded him some of his closest friends were military. My father had plans for me, you see.”
Mia took in a deep breath and slowly released it when the anger began to build up again each time she thought of that day.
The fire was mesmerizing, giving her the illusion that it beckoned her to continue her story, even though Cullen hadn’t made a sound.
“I knew better than to argue with my father. If he knew what I really planned, I would’ve been sent off to some boarding school with my every move watched.
So I kept silent and never brought up the subject, but I kept flying. ”
It didn’t bother her that Cullen had yet to reply. In some ways—a lot of ways, actually—it was easier. Not looking at him, not seeing his expressions.
“The day of my high school graduation, I called up the colonel. We spoke for an hour, and he sent me to the nearest recruiter’s office where I filled out all the paperwork. Then I returned home for the huge celebration my father had planned. As his only child, he tended to go overboard with things.
“He didn’t learn what I’d done until three months later, when I told him I was leaving for boot camp.
That was the second time I saw him go batshit crazy.
He threatened all kinds of things. In the end, it was my stepmother who intervened and prevented either of us from saying something we might later regret.
She drove me the next day. He was so angry, he didn’t come down to see me off. ”
Mia hated that memory. His rejection of what she’d decided for her future had hurt her deeply. The wound went deep, affecting her over a decade later.
She rose from the sofa and put another log on the fire. The warmth of the flames beckoned her to remain, so she sat cross-legged on the floor.
“My problem with authority stems from my father. I hated the day-to-day crap in the Air Force. The only time I was truly happy was when I was flying, but my insubordination kept me out of the skies more times than not. Some people called my confidence cockiness and took offense that I was better than they were. I came to hate everything about the Air Force, except the access to such magnificent aircraft. My father sat back, expecting me to return home with my tail between my legs. I didn’t. I came up with my own plan.
“It was a good one. I’d made a lot of friends and contacts during my time in the military. I knew a good pilot would always be in demand. So I began reaching out to some of those people. The first to respond was Sergei.
“I knew getting involved with him would be dangerous. I’d only met him once through a friend, and even then, I could tell that I might be in over my head.
But Sergei offered me a lot of money. I took the job—a legitimate one, I might add—flying one of his planes to Florida to drop off a shipment and return.
I earned more money on that Saturday than I did in an entire year with the Air Force.
“I resigned my commission six months later. By then, I’d already lined up several jobs.
It didn’t matter what I was flying, as long as I was in the air.
I found the Valkyrie during one of those trips.
Once I had my own plane, the money doubled.
During that time, I rented a place at a private airstrip for the Valkyrie.
“Davis didn’t accept my resignation well. It was like he’d been planning for it, though, because when I broached the subject about my willingness to work as a private contractor for the military, he agreed on the spot. And when I mentioned the hangar, he consented quickly.”
She shook her head, remembering that day.
“I thought I’d won a big battle. I discovered later that my father had a hand in it.
But I had what I wanted, so I let it go.
There was more work offered to me than I had time to take on.
I was able to pick and choose what jobs I wanted.
I took the most dangerous ones the military offered.
Sometimes using my plane. Sometimes theirs.
“For my other jobs, Sergei was becoming a regular. He warned me about getting involved with the wrong kinds of people. I foolishly believed I could distinguish between them myself. I was wrong. I got mixed up with a bad group in the sex trade.”
She almost looked at Cullen to see his reaction.
Then she thought better of it. “I believed them when they gave me a manifest of what was in the crates. It wasn’t until my third trip to South America that I heard crying after I’d landed.
I opened the crate and found the girl. She was no older than twelve.
Dirty, starved, and riddled with needle marks on her arm.
“One by one, I opened the other crates to find more girls. I was disgusted. At the men who’d hired me.
At myself. I wasn’t about to hand the girls over.
But I didn’t know where to take them. I knew my best chance was in the States.
So, I got back in my seat and intended to take off.
The men had other ideas. They shot one of my engines.
I managed to kill several with the guns from the Valkyrie, but in the end, they captured me and took the girls. ”
She had to pause in her retelling of the story. Those five days locked in that room, bound and gagged as the men stripped and touched her had been the worst of her life.
There was movement behind her, but she didn’t turn around. She kept her face averted from Cullen.
“The men informed me that I was going to be sold as a sex slave. The entire time I was locked in that room, naked and bound, all I heard were the cries and screams of the other women. It was the most horrid place I’d ever been in. And I knew I wouldn’t get out.
“I was drugged, bathed, and dressed to be displayed and bid upon. Whatever they gave me wore off quickly. I recalled all of my training, and I wasn’t going down without a fight.
I attacked one of the men holding me, killing him.
Then I shot two more before they had me on my knees with a gun to my head.
“Suddenly, a door opened, and a man walked in. It was Orrin. He gave me a smile, but when he looked at the men, the vengeance I saw was palpable. He lifted his arm, gun in hand, and killed them all. He saved me and all of those girls that night.”
If only it had ended then. If only she had listened to Sergei. If only . . .
There were so many “if only’s.” But she’d chosen her road, and she was walking it.
“What happened then?”
She jumped because his whispered question came from directly behind her.
When had he moved? Mia blew out a deep breath.
“I tried to get past it all. Your father was there, helping me through it.
He even managed to get my plane back to me.
When I thought I was able, I began flying again.
On my second flight, I had a job in Bulgaria.
Another part of the sex trade group was there, waiting for me. They tried to capture me again.
“I got away after killing several of them. But something inside me had changed. I ignored Sergei’s warning and began working for others of .
. . questionable ilk. I transported drugs and weapons for anyone willing to pay my rate.
I don’t know why. I knew it was wrong, and a part of me wanted to get caught.
I even flew paths that would ensure my cargo was checked. It never was.
“That’s how I came in contact with Yuri.
He had me smuggle his men into the States.
I never asked questions. I accepted the money and flew.
After a couple of those trips, I realized I’d begun to hate flying.
I returned to the base after a journey to find Orrin in the hangar.
He didn’t say anything, just put his arms around me. ”
Mia had cried for what felt like days. It had been cleansing, healing. “I spent two months in this cabin. When I returned to the base, I felt like my old self again. But I always knew my past decisions would come back to haunt me.”
Cullen moved to sit beside her. “You learned a lesson and came out stronger for it.”
“I think I worked for the Saints.”
He shrugged, glancing at her. “You worked with and for a lot of people.”
“Yes, but it isn’t the same.”
“It is. Look how long you worked with Sergei. You didn’t betray anyone just because one of your clients was the Saints.”
She closed her eyes, wanting to believe him. But in her heart, she knew the truth.
“This is what you didn’t want me to know?”
“Yes.”
“You thought I wouldn’t trust you because of this?”
She frowned, turning to face him. “I certainly wouldn’t.”
“It was your secretiveness that made me hesitate to trust.”
“Do you? Trust me?”
“At this point, we only have each other. We have to trust one another,” he said.
It wasn’t what she’d hoped to hear, but it was good enough.
Her thoughts returned to the prison Orrin had saved her from.
“I know what it’s like to be held against your will.
I wasn’t beaten, but I was fondled and groped.
I thought I would die that way. I found out later that it was Sergei who’d told Orrin where I was.
I want to return the favor and rescue Orrin. ”
“We will. He’s trained for this. He can withstand a lot. He’s tough.”
“You’re lucky to have him as a father.”
He looked down, shamefaced. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve not spoken to Dad in five years. He’s the only parent I have left, and I’ve ignored him.”
“Sometimes it’s easier to push parents away rather than deal with them or the past.”
“The past. It always comes back to that.”
She studied his profile while he stared into the fire. There was something about his expression that caught her right in the chest. It was a mixture of regret and hope. “This is about your mom, isn’t it?”
He gave a snort. “Most people don’t bring her up. They’re afraid to. Where I grew up, her name is whispered for fear of upsetting one of us. No one knew how much I wanted to talk about her or what happened.”
“Then talk to me,” Mia offered.