Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ORION
What the fuck had I done? I dropped into my office chair and blew out a breath, and heard her door slam.
Wonderful. Just wonderful.
Tension throbbed in my temple. I stalked over to the minibar, poured myself two fingers of whiskey, and downed it, letting it burn my throat.
Fuck.
This wasn’t the outcome I’d envisioned. I’d started the day intending to give her a snapshot of why I’d hired her. But when she was near me, my desire for her rose above everything else. I became a new person beside her.
I didn’t like it. Who was this man who wanted a woman so desperately?
A man who hasn’t been with a woman in months.
I shouldn’t have allowed things to go as far as they did. But dammit, I loved the way her lips molded to mine. The way she kissed me back with the same ferocity.
Needing fresh air, I walked out to the balcony and inhaled a deep breath. I gripped the railing, curling my fingers around it until my knuckles whitened. What should I do with her? She had me in knots. As much as I’d like to blame her for my problem, I couldn’t. She was an innocent woman standing in the danger zone of a confused man.
Don’t hurt her.
Don’t fuck up.
I hated talking to myself, especially when my inner voice reprimanded me. I glanced down at the city street, letting the chaos distract me from my misery.
What do I want?
Elena.
What’s stopping me?
Nothing.
So why did I feel like shit?
Let the past go.
I closed my eyes at that statement. How many times had I wanted to do that? And how many times had I failed? Too many.
But I’d never experienced a pull as powerful as I did with Elena. Letting go of the past would mean I’d abandoned Kate, right? I’d failed her. I should’ve been with her the day she died. But I was elsewhere . . .
It was a mistake to bring Elenahere. No employee had beenon this floor except Ralph. She did not know the power she held over me.
I could’ve set up an office for her on any of the other floors below, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her close to me. Being on my private floor was an invitation I’d never given to any other women. Not even Kate.
I’d kept the dark part of me from her because she had too much going on in her life. With Elena, I didn’t even hesitate. Why?
Elenadidn’t know what was in that Cosmic Lounge. She only saw the night sky. Showing her more wouldhave revealedtoo much of myself to her.
I thought I knew myself until today when confusion and desire turned me into a sexual predator in the office. The incident made me feel lost... and found at the same time.
What the fuck?
It made no sense. My emotions were playing games with my mind and I didn’t like it. A man who lost his mind lost control. And Orion Reimann could not lose control. There was so much at stake.
My empire needed my vision and dedication. More so, I had to ensure that Reimann Corporation, which my father managed with my cousin, stayed strong. That had been my mother’s wish. To watch over my father from afar.
I didn’t understand why she kept reminding me of that when I was younger. My father was a capable man who could take care of himself. He made no effort to be part of my life, so why should I?
Had Mom asked him to watch over me from a distance too?Was that her way of trying to keep us close? Why was I thinking about this now?
Despite the tension in my body, I didn’t feel the surge of a panic attack like I’d expected. Usually anxiety assaulted me intensely, but not today. I knew it had to do with the woman sitting in the office across the hallway from me.
Elena was the only woman who could ease my panic attack. Admitting that to myself relaxed my stiff shoulders and back. Then a sense of calmness overcame me, and I inhaled and exhaled the fresh air, looking out at the city before me.
I’d bought this property when I began workingwith the WaterFyre Rising boys as their PI. The more I worked with each man, the more I admired and respected them. They had become my friends in a world where genuine friends were rare.
My mind wandered back to Elena. Today proved she wanted me. She called to every fiber in my body, and I couldn’t resist her. Could I have her? Would she want to be with me if she knew the story behind the ring?
I didn’t have these issues with any of the other women I’d been with. They’d been flings with no attachments. No expectations.
Elena wasn’t that kind of woman.
I clasped the ring on my necklace, rubbing it with my fingers. Was I ready to let the ring go? I didn’t know. Or rather, I was afraid to find out.
My phone rang, and I returned to the office. “Yes, Ralph?”
“How’s everything going?” he asked.
“Why? Do you need me to add more things to the list?”
“I’m working, boss.As you requested, I’m sitting at a café monitoring the subject. He’s chatting with a man, lawyer type. Will send you pictures later. But I can’t help but wonder if you’re doing okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Ralph had been my mother’s chauffeur and acted like a father to me. When Mom died, he came to work for me and never left. I appreciated his support, loyalty, and honesty.
“Because you brought a woman onto that floor.”
“I know, Ralph.” I wasn’t sharing that she was mad at me. He would ask why, and I didn’t want to get into the reason or how it had started.
“You make a good-looking couple,” he said, surprising me. “Do you like her?”
“What kind of question is that? If I didn’t like her, she wouldn’t be on the floor.”
“Don’t bite my head off. Why do you sound so frustrated talking about the woman you like?”
“Because it’s complicated.”
“Let Kate go,” Ralph said, understanding me more than I realized. “She’d want you to be happy now.”
“I just need time.”
“Don’t take too long because Elena might not want to wait,” Ralph said. “The longer you make her wait, the more she’ll think you’re not serious about her.”
“I’m not sure if I should listen to relationship advice from a man who has his own relationship troubles. Someone who’s afraid to ask the woman he loves to marry him.”
“I’m not afraid,” he blurted out.
“Then why haven’t you?”
“I’ve got my reason, and I don’t want to talk about it right now. For what it’s worth, I think Elena is the one who can save you.”
I laughed at the ridiculous concept. “Save me from what?”
“From your destructive self.”
I paused at the statement. He knew me as the flawed Orion and The Roc.
“We have to be gentle with her,” he said. “She comes from a different background than you. If you’re not careful, she’s going to run away.”
I pondered on his insight, letting several thoughts appear and disappear.
“All the other women you’ve dated were from your circle. They had money, status, wealthy families. Elena doesn’t have those connections, and I don’t believe she wants a temporary thing. So if you don’t want to be with her, then you should cut your losses now. Save you both the heartache.”
“How do you know so much about her?” I inquired.
“I don’t. But from my brief encounter with her, I can see she has something that none of the other women you’ve dated have—genuine kindness.”
There goes that word again. Ralph had always called me kind, but I never saw it.
“Why do you always say that I’m kind? I think that’s the furthest thing from the truth.”
“You have a kind heart to take in your old chauffeur as your assistant. It takes a kind heart to go after a crime organization that abuses women and children. A kind heart donates billions of dollars anonymously.” He paused. “But your kind heart is wrapped in spikes.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I told him, “Send me the pictures when you can.”