64. Harden
W hen we walk into the house, the first thing we see is blood, so much fucking blood.
The second thing I see is his hands wrapped around her throat.
It’s like tunnel vision, blocking everything else out except the sight of him above her.
I don’t think, don’t breathe, just react.
I move so fast that when I tackle him, I almost take her with us, slamming him into the ground with lethal force.
My knuckles are already cracked and bloody, but still they smash into his face over and over, the sight of her pinned beneath him playing on a loop in my mind.
How many times have I been like that? Splayed out and helpless?
Rotting away beneath evil, just begging to be saved?
A hundred? A thousand? In truth, it’s so many times that I lost count.
So many times that I didn’t fight back, couldn’t, because I didn’t want to be here.
I prayed I would wither away into nothing, because death was better than the reality I was forced to live, but then I met Aurora Gray.
With her blue eyes and soft smiles, so kind and gentle that it repaired something inside of me.
I was lost in the pits of darkness, until she came along and bathed me in her light.
I tried to deny her, of course, already too broken and bleeding to ever be repaired, but with every step I took away from her, she took two more closer toward me.
She pushed me, challenged me in a way the guys had tried and failed, and for the first time in years, my heart started to beat again.
Every smile, every letter, every movie, all of it repairing me in ways she will never know, and I’ve never had the chance to tell her how grateful I am to her.
Now he might have taken that from me.
I hit him so many times I can’t see straight, every pained gasp like a fucking symphony to my ears, as I ruin him thoroughly.
He tries to fight back of course, like the worthless piece of shit he is, but I’m too far gone, too lost in my unleashed anger that I don’t know if I will ever find a way back.
Everest is calling out to me, screaming my name, and when I flick my gaze his way, I find him staring at me in a panic beside Aurora’s unconscious body.
There are already bruises forming around her neck, but then my eyes follow the blood spatter across the floor, which is when I realize she isn’t the one who is bleeding.
No, Griffin is on the floor, passed out with a knife sticking out of his torso, and the pain inside of me that I thought couldn’t get any worse, intensifies even deeper.
Everest is still talking to me, every word washed out by the deep thumping of my heart inside my ears, as I bring my focus back to Bishop.
I’m going to fucking kill him.
His face is already unrecognizable, so I reach down and grip his arm between my hands. His arms are stained in blood, blood I now know belongs to Griffin, and I can’t stop myself. I bend his arm with force until I hear it snap, ignoring the commotion as more people rush into the house.
There is yelling and confusion, movement and chaos, but I keep my focus on Bishop. I move to grab his other arm, fisting it between my fingers and readying myself to feel relief in the crack, but then I am gripped from behind and hauled away from him.
I fight against whoever has a hold of me, but then I hear Everest calling my name again.
“Harden, please, I need you,” he cries, and that’s all it takes, his desperate plea pulls me back from the brink, as I focus back on him.
He is doing CPR on Aurora, as other guys from the hockey team pan out across the entryway.
They must have heard the commotion, two of them hauling me off Bishop, while another calls for an ambulance, but all I can focus on is Griffin.
I slip in his blood as I rush to get to him, shaking him violently.
“Griffin, wake up,” I demand, as another member of the team drops to his knees beside him, looking at me in wonder as he hears my voice for the first time.
“Griffin,” I roar his name now, my voice cracking with the force, as he groans a little, attempting to open his eyes.
“That’s it, baby, come on, look at me.” His pain-filled eyes finally meet mine, his lips moving as he tries to talk.
“Ambulance is coming.” One of the boys shouts. “You need to put pressure on the wound.” He rips off his hoodie and tosses it to me, my eyes never leaving Griffin’s.
I wrap it around the knife, pressing down hard and making him grunt. “I know, baby, I know, just stay with me, okay?”
He tries to nod his head, his eyes fluttering open and closed, as his lips once again move. “Aurora,” he chokes out, trying to turn toward her, and my eyes snap back to her and Everest.
He is still doing chest compressions, desperately trying to keep her alive, as we wait for help, tears streaming down his face. One of the senior guys on the team who was friends with his brother, offers to take over, but Everest ignores him, not relenting in his pace for even a second.
How the fuck did we get here?
How did we go from sitting together on the sofa this morning, to this?
We were so sure it was Jason, so blinded by our hate for him, that we missed what was right under our nose.
When Everest cursed in that ring, I felt it jolt through me, because I knew we were wrong, even without elaboration.
I felt it, and when he told me who it was, the world fell out from under my feet.
He scanned every letter on the ride over here, no doubt committing them to memory, as I turned a sixty minute drive into thirty, but still we weren’t fast enough. I have won countless races over the last couple of years, but lost the only one that truly mattered.
When I bring my stare back to Griffin, I force a smile to my face. “She’s fine, baby, Everest has her, so just stay awake with me, okay?” I plead, feeling his blood against my hands as it soaks through the hoodie, but still he tries to nod.
I can hear the sirens in the distance getting closer and closer, I can hear Everest pleading with Aurora to wake up. I can even hear the two guys keeping watch over Bishop’s unconscious and mangled body, speculating about what happened, but none of it is what I need.
No, I need them, Aurora and Griffin, their smiles, their voices, their fucking everything, and the thought that I might lose them both has my entire body trembling.
Griffin’s eyes start fluttering again, but one of his hands slowly reaches up, his fingers shaking, as I realize he is trying to sign something.
I can’t make out whatever it is, but I shake my head anyway.
“Stop, whatever it is, just tell me later,” I plead, only now noting the tears on my own face, but still he keeps going.
It takes him three tries for me to understand him.
I love you.
Emotion is thick in my throat as his words slam into me, feeling them so deeply that it threatens to consume me, because I love him too. I love him so much, and I won’t let him fucking die before he realizes that.
Leaning down, I capture his lips with mine, not caring about our audience or the circumstances, as I kiss him softly. “I love you too, Griff, and I fucking need you, so just hold on for me, please, I can’t lose you.”
I don’t give a fuck that the others are here for my confession, that they are hearing my voice, let them, because the only thing that matters is Griffin and Aurora. The four of us only just sorted our fucking shit out, we’ve barely even fucking lived, so I refuse to believe this is the end.
My hands stay pressed heavily against his wound, desperately pleading for him to stay with me, while Everest tries to save Aurora, until paramedics come rushing into the house.
I don’t register how many of them there are, or even what they are doing, just the fact that they take over for both of us, sweeping us aside so they can try and save them.
Blood stains my hands, but still Everest grips one of them, both of us watching silently, as they try to save the people we love.
I don’t remember anything after that. One minute we are watching them work, and the next they are loaded into separate ambulances, both heading on their way. Everest and I are ushered into a police car, following the ambulance, before we’re deposited in a waiting room and left alone.
I’m not sure when Aurora’s parents arrive, or how they even knew to come, but hearing them break down will be something I will never be able to erase.
The police want to question us, to find out what happened, but David basically tells them to get fucked.
He does however, allow someone in to process our clothes, taking photos of us both and samples from our skin, before we are forced to clean up and get changed.
His only requirement is that we tell him everything that happened, something that his son does without pause.
The only thing I can truly remember is how bright Griffin’s blood was as it washed down the drain.