47. Carter
forty-seven
carter
Penn
She’s with us.
Me
…where?
Penn
On the plane headed to Michigan.
She’s terrified of him.
No fucking shit.
Any chance of you getting here?
Why, so I can watch him fuck up some more?
This is the first time he’s seen her since then. He absolutely wasn’t prepared for her to be so spooked.
I’ve been running defense for her, but I can only do so much if he’s determined.
Is he?
Determined?
I don’t know. He said it was a form of punishment…
He should know what it feels like.
Being punished?
Helplessness.
Give Sydney back some control.
I’ll be there Saturday morning, but I can only stay twenty-four hours.
Oh, and by the way…
Prepare yourself before you see her.
I call Sydney, and it goes straight to voicemail. It’s been going to fucking voicemail all week. After Penn called me about not being able to get into her apartment, and I tried my key…
We called her dad. We did the right thing. But she still hasn’t been answering her phone or the times I’ve knocked on her door.
Not going to lie, I’ve been going out of my fucking mind.
And through it all, I’ve been showing up to hockey practice, learning new plays, studying up on the team we’re facing this weekend. We’ve got a double header at home. The team is finally playing better six weeks into our season. There was a lot of fresh blood who had to learn the ropes, sure, but we were also all disconnected.
Cheating fractures you a bit.
Me
Where is her phone?
Penn
Off.
I call him. I don’t know if he’s with her, but after his last ominous message, it’s not so much a want to talk to her as a fucking need .
“Hey,” he answers. “I’m assuming you’re not calling to hear my deep baritone.”
I roll my eyes. “Just give her the phone, asshole.”
He chuckles.
There’s a slight intake of breath, and my heart goes into double-time.
“Hello?”
“Hey, dream girl,” I say.
“You’re calling Penn now?”
“I needed to hear your voice.” I grip the phone tighter. “How are you holding up?”
She sighs. “I don’t know. I’m going to their game tonight. We’re in the hotel right now.”
“Do you have your own room?”
“Yeah. It’s on the same floor as Dad’s. The players are down a floor, but Penn snuck up here.”
She sounds raspy. Has she been screaming? Or not talking at all?
“You have a game tonight?” she asks.
"I do,” I confirm. “Sunday, too, but they’re both home games. Is there anything I can do from here? Besides tell you that I’ve missed having you in my arms every second of this week?”
If I could, I would get on a plane right this second. Obligation holds me back. I’ve got the C on my chest. That means something to my teammates. They look to me for leadership, and if I fail them…
“I wish you were here.” She sighs.
“Can you do me a favor?”
She waits.
“Can you turn your phone on tonight? After the game, when you’re back in your hotel room…” I pause. “I want to talk to you. But not with Walker staring at you.”
She laughs, and I smile. I’m sitting in my car in front of the arena, and I have to go inside any minute. I’m a fucking idiot for her. If she wanted me to crawl to her…
“Penn wants to talk to you,” she says, her soft voice caressing me through the phone. “Thanks for calling, Carter.”
“I—”
“Hey,” Penn interrupts. “It’s me, so shut up.” More muffled, he says, “I’ll be right back, princess.”
I wait, gaze on the doors I’ll soon be going through. Doors I stormed through with Sydney, on my way to punch Oliver in the face. Teammates are arriving, everyone dressed in their game day attire.
It’s my fucking fault he traumatized her. If I had held in my anger better, he wouldn’t have retaliated against her. Not me. He didn’t even so much as hit me, although from the look in his eye, I was absolutely expecting it.
Instead, he just sneered. Fucking asshole.
I adjust my collar in the mirror.
“Okay,” he finally says. “I stepped out into the hall.”
“Okay,” I repeat. “And?”
“I don’t think she’s laughed since…” His end of his sentence hangs in the air.
Since before .
“Oh. I was just insulting you,” I tell him.
He snorts. “Great. Let me know when you get here.”
“About that.” I hesitate. “I’ve got an idea that I don’t think she’ll go for.”
“Something to do with punishment?”
I make a face. “Yeah. Punishment and helplessness.”
When I lay out my idea, he makes a choking noise.
“Too much?”
“Maybe.” He seems to be considering. “Bring the stuff. We’ll let her decide.”
“After, though.”
“Yeah. Of course.” He hangs up without saying goodbye. Or anything at all. One minute he’s there, the next, the line goes dead.
But that’s okay. I’ve got a course of action and a plan to go along with it. Time to shelve all those details and focus on the game.
Once that’s done, I can get back to worrying about my girl.