16. The Comeback
It’s even harder than I imagined, sitting and smiling at people who, only two weeks ago, had their fun calling me a stuck-up brat on national TV. But I maintain the smile on my face as the assistant mics me up.
If I can convince the most antagonistic of my derailers, I can finally get the ball rolling and settle back into a normal life.
“It’s nice to have you here.” It’s the guy with the pink hair talking. He sounds sincere enough, but he exchanges a smug smile with the blond woman by his side.
I try not to think of the barrage of unkind words they hurled at me after the lies my dad fed them. Today is the day I finally share my side of the story. And since E! is the most highly ranked program who’d asked me to grant them an interview, it was a no-brainer.
“We’re going live in ten seconds,” Kate Huxley, the blond woman chirps. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do great!”
Her hostility is simmering underneath her nice words, but I try to remind myself why this is a good thing. If, by the end of the show, I manage to convince her and her co-host that I’m not a monster, the negative press about me will cease.
Or so Kevin thinks.
It had been Blake’s idea to hire my longtime friend. “I only came to your wedding to see him because my agent messed up my deals. He’s young and barely qualifies as a manager, but he has good instincts. I think you can trust him to relaunch you in a spectacular way . . . at least, until you find someone else.”
It seemed Blake was right. “You want to start by answering questions from your most violent opposition,” Kevin advised me. He was quick to agree to represent me, quitting his agency the next day and pulling together a ragtag team within forty-eight hours. That kind of reassured me, too. It meant that if my relaunch failed, both Kevin’s and my neck were on the line.
“Let them ask you anything,” he instructed me. “You already have a good story, one that’s going to move them to tears, so you don’t need to embellish much. Be honest, plain, direct. Let them throw all the venom they can at you. And when they realize they have no reason to hate you, they’re going to fall over themselves apologizing for being assholes.”
“What if I come up?” Blake interjected. He’d driven me to see Kevin’s team. I looked over at him, half-expecting to see that he was done with this drama and finally wanted to sever whatever ties he had with me. Instead, he looked curious.
“Then she talks about your relationship.” He put air-quotes around the last word—he was all for the fake relationship. “How you saved her, and she fell in love with you. How she decided to move to Philly to be close to you during the season. Be careful not to make it sound too needy, though,” he added quickly.
The interview hasn’t started yet, but I know that’s going to be the hardest part. The one where I talk about my so-called feelings for Blake. I’m glad he tracked me down—don’t know why on Earth he did it, but I’m grateful for it. Still, knowing I’m dragging him even further into my mess doesn’t make me feel whole.
All I want is for things to go back to normal. But since the internet is involved, things are never really going to be normal between us. Even when we dissolve our new, fake relationship and go back to our separate lives, my fans are always going to think I was in love with him at one point in my life.
That is, if I exit this interview with any fans left.
I look around the set, suddenly nervous and needing reassurance from someone friendly. But all I see are strange faces—a couple of anxious-looking producers and a camera crew. Kevin and his team came with me, as well as my new security detail. But I thought it best if they stay out of sight while I am on camera so my explanations sound less rehearsed.
I’m kind of regretting that now.
Kate counts down the last five seconds with her fingers while the assistant directs me on what camera to look at. Finally, she flashes an even broader smile at the main camera while she launches into action.
“Hi, everyone! Welcome back to E! News. Today, we’re going to be talking with none other than our dear old pal, Faye Strummer.”
The camera pans to me as the pink-haired guy, Zach Something, gives a mock gasp.
I smile as easily as I can muster. “Hi, Kate. Hi, Zach. I’m excited to be here.”
First lie of the day. Maybe I can make a game of ticking them off.
“You know, we had your dad on the other day, and that segment was the most widely watched one we’ve had in years!” Kate trills. “People are desperate for news about you. I can imagine the world is holding its breath, waiting for your side of the story.”
“I understand.” I plaster another forced-but-hopefully-natural-looking smile. “I’m glad to be back.”
“And I’m loving your outfit!” Zach titters. “It looks so . . . casual.”
I glance down at the simple silk shirt and skirt I chose to wear. My hair is pulled in a sleek ponytail.
“You want to look as close as possible to the Faye they remember. Chic, expensive clothes, your hair sparkling. All of that good stuff,” Kevin had warned me, but I didn’t listen.
“I’m not coming back as the Faye they remember,” I told him. Zach eyeing my outfit tells me that Kevin was right. But from now on, I’m doing things my way.
“Thanks.” I flash a smile at Zach. He looks put out.
“Let’s start with the question on everyone’s mind,” Kate says. “Why didn’t you show up at your wedding? The flower mishap?”
I cross one leg over the other, my heart hammering. This is my chance to tell the truth, and I’m not going to waste it.
“Because I found my ex with another girl on the day of our wedding. I literally caught him in flagrante delicto.”
Their jaws drop to the floor in unison. They exchange glances with each other, and I can just tell what they’re thinking: that I’m only making up a story about Ben so the audience will be inclined to take my side.
Kevin warned me about this happening and told me what to do to counteract it. “Provide details. The kind that they know you’d be psychotic to make up.”
“I was already in my wedding dress, set to walk down the aisle, when I walked in on him buried deep in my stepsister. If you know what I mean.”
Kate’s eyes are wide with horror. “No . . . No, you didn’t.” She looks like she’s forgotten this is a public interview. “But . . . your dad . . .”
“He lied,” I cut her off. This is the first time I’m admitting this to anyone other than Blake, and it feels really good. So good, that all I want is to keep going.
“He made up the story about the lilies and everything else to make me look like a mess,” I add.
“Why would he do that?” Zach sounds like he’s still firmly on the side of disbelieving me.
“To control me,” I say. “My dad has been my manager since I was seventeen. I’ve never really had much creative control—or anything else, for that matter. He has the passwords to my social media accounts, handles my finances, and governs my romantic life.”
Zach whistles. “Wow.” The producer behind the camera makes some furious hand gestures, and he sits up and tries to maintain a more professional look.
“How did this all begin?”
I think back for a moment, realizing that I’m not quite sure. “I wanted to please him,” I finally come up with an answer. It sounds quite foolish, but it’s the absolute truth. “He’s my father. I have no siblings, and my mom passed a while back. I simply believed everything he told me was gospel.”
I expect at least one of them to quip about how stupid that sounds, but Zach merely nods, and Kate adds, “I grew up with a narcissistic mom. I know what that’s like—when they make you their whole universe, and you don’t have a personality outside of them. It’s hard to break free.”
The producer shoots another warning sign, so Zach clears his throat. “Tell me if we’re getting this correctly. Your dad wanted you to marry your fiancé—ex-fiancé—even after he found out that he was not faithful.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
I shrug. “He felt it would have been the better move for my career.” I pause, before forcing myself to say the complete truth. “I sort of felt that way, too. Because I’ve been singing about a love I haven’t felt for years. I didn’t want to let my fans in on the fact that it had all been a lie.”
Zach and Kate exchange glances again. Then Kate says, “Tell us a little bit about that—why you felt the need to pretend your romance with Benjamin Hart was better than it really was.” Her tone bears the slightest hint of reproach, but it’s mostly curious.
I decide on impulse not to lie. “I thought singing it into existence would make it true. Also, when it went on so long, I didn’t see a way out of it. I was writing songs about the love I wanted to experience. I already had a boyfriend. It would have been stupid to tell millions of people I didn’t feel anything even remotely matching what I was singing about.”
“I get it,” Zach says, and he sounds like he does. “Sometimes, when I listen to love songs hard enough, I can pretend that I’m in love.”
A smile forms at the corner of my lips. I didn’t expect to feel comfortable around Zach and Kate, but we’re slowly easing into it.
Kate, who still seems hung up on the dynamic I have going with my father, asks, “So you’re telling us that every single thing your dad told us about you ending your wedding for lilies and a missing photographer is not true?”
“You’ve heard my songs, Kate. I’m a die-hard romantic. Do you think even a tornado would have stopped me from walking down the aisle if the love of my life was waiting for me?”
Kate and Zach titter. “Yeah, I see your point,” Zach admits.
The producer signals for a commercial break, and Kate turns to the camera with a smile and announces it. The moment we are off the air, the producer comes running up to us.
“You’re doing amazing,” he says with a thumbs up, like we’re merely acting, and I’m not revealing the deep secrets of my life. “People are tuning in like crazy. We’ve got two million people listening to you right now.”
I suddenly feel woozy. Two million. For some reason, I find myself wondering if Blake is one of them.
A producer announces the break will be over in five seconds. In a little while, Zach and Kate have their artificial smiles pasted back on.
“Alright, we’re back!” Zach exclaims. “We’ve heard a whole lot about Faye Strummer’s past, and whether you believe it or not, she’s had a few things to say! But on to the present . . . Faye, where do you see your career heading from here?”
“Well, I’ll have to start by firing my father.” Zach and Kate cackle. “Afterward, I intend to settle down and write more music that’s true to me.”
“We saw the clip of you singing at that bar,” Kate chimes in, and it’s obvious she disproves of the quality of the place. “The song sounded amazing, but it’s quite different from anything we’ve heard you sing before.”
“It’s also more real than anything I’ve created before,” I admit. “And I intend to keep things that way.”
“You’ll tell us more about the song later,” Zach butts in. “But I’m sure we’re all dying to hear about something else—the man-candy who took your breath away at the end of the clip. Also, we want to know about the video that was released a few weeks ago. The one that broke the internet.”
For a moment, I falter. I’ve spent the last seven years lying and pretending my relationship with Ben was good, and it led me into this mess. Starting this new phase of my career by lying about a relationship isn’t going to end well.
But then, I can’t exactly tell them that I’d fallen into the arms of a random stranger and began a sexcapade with a man who thinks romance is nothing but a joke. That would shatter my reputation beyond reckoning.
I flash a sweet PR smile at them—one that I practiced with Kevin. “Yeah, it wasn’t our intention to go public yet, but you never know when you have a camera pointed at you.”
Kate leans forward, practically on the edge of her seat. “So, you are in a relationship with Blake White. That’s crazy. A week after your failed wedding—was this relationship already happening before you left Ben?”
“No,” I say, as firmly as I can. “Blake and I met when I needed help escaping my wedding. I wanted a place to clear my head, and he let me stay with him for a few days. And then . . .”
“He comforted you during one of those days?” Zach says with a wink.
I bite back a smile. “Not exactly. We’re still new at this and figuring it out, but it’s great to finally be able to make my choices independently.”
There, I think, looking at Zach and Kate as they process the information. I’ve given just enough information to hint that we’re in a relationship, but I didn’t need to lie too much.
Maybe I can get through this, after all.
“I understand that,” Kate croons. “You’ve been in a loveless partnership with Ben and your dad for so long. Not surprising how happy you seem now, finally experiencing freedom.”
“Yes. Moving to Philly, away from my father, has been transformative,” I chirp.
The producer signals something, and Kate looks at the teleprompter in front of her. “Ooh, and it seems our listeners agree! Look at this post. “So sorry I misjudged Faye. I should have known there was something off about her not saying anything on her socials. Abusive parents are the worst.”
I couldn’t agree more.
“And look, they’ve got a hashtag going already—Justice for Faye.”
Relief washes over me. I was terrified people would not believe me, but it seems I had nothing to worry about. This interview did its job.
“Our segment is almost up,” Kate says after she reads a few more posts, all of them expressing support for me. “But I’d like to ask one last question about the lyrics of the song you sang back in that bar. I’ve got to say, we know very little of Blake White except that he’s managed to keep his nose clean during almost eight years playing hockey.”
I think of Blake’s little cabin, about the coziest place I know. “Yeah, he likes to keep things private.”
And I ruined that for him.
I push away the guilt to listen to her next words.
“Your lyrics speak of someone waiting for you at the end of strife and sorrow. Are you singing of him?”
I swallow. There’s no going back now.
“Yes,” I say, my PR smile back in place. “Meeting him was random, but I like to think it was kismet.”
“How so?” Zach asks.
I try to think of what I felt in the moment I met him. It’s not hard to recall—all of the fear and angst comes flooding back to me within a second. “It was the lowest point in my life. My world was collapsing around me. I always knew to an extent that I was living a lie, but I never let myself face it. When I wanted to run away, I literally had nowhere else to go. I was sure I’d be hunted down by my father, and he’d make me walk down the aisle.”
“So, there I was, in this huge dress I didn’t want and at this gigantic venue I didn’t care for. All I knew was that I had to run. And then, I fell right into his arms.”
“You’re kidding,” Zach swoons. He’s lost his dramatic flair, and he looks genuinely stunned.
“Not even a little bit. I ran into him, and we fell to the ground.”
Kate chuckles. “And your relationship evolved since then?”
“Naturally. It’s pretty cool being with someone who gets you to feel all those things you’ve dreamed about but never really thought would happen. It’s honestly the best thing ever.”
“Yeah, we can see that,” Zach says. “You’re positively glowing.”
I flash my first genuine smile at them as Kate gives her closing remarks, and we freeze until the camera shuts off. Instantly, two producers come running up to us, huge smiles on their faces.
“You were amazing!” one of them cries. “We broke the internet . . . They’re going to be talking about this for years.”
I sag against the couch. It’s finally over. Relief rolls through me, leaving me weaker with every passing second. Still, there’s a niggling feeling at the pit of my stomach, like there’s something wrong, and I can’t place my finger on it.
Kevin comes onto the set, flanked by a couple of his assistants.
“He’s right,” he squeals. “The internet loves you once more. I’ve been on your IG page. Your fans are going crazy in the comments, telling your dad to release your social media accounts. I’ve asked Heather to compose an email to him, informing him you’ve switched managers. We’re hoping to get him to release your passwords within the hour . . ..”
I nod, feigning excitement even as I tune out Kevin’s words. I am happy that one interview has turned my reputation around, and I’m glad that I’ll be independent from my father soon.
But I also just realized what the niggling feeling is.
It’s the fact that I haven’t had to lie once about how Blake makes me feel.
And that is the most terrifying thing of all.