Chapter 32 - Scarlett #3
Mr. Alascer swiped his arm across the table, clearing it off completely, his face bright red, his eyes wide, his teeth bared. He looked more animal than human now.
It was an effort to remain still, to hold his gaze, to not allow the smile to break even when the fear and anger roared brightly under my skin.
I could kill him. I knew I shouldn’t, but I could.
It would be so easy. He was weak, his skin soft.
If I had a good weapon, it would only take one slice across his neck, and he’d die within minutes.
He was weak. Whatever came next, he was the weak one.
“Wipe that fucking smile off your face, you useless fucking cunt,” he snarled, stepping around the table, towards me.
I only lifted my chin. I wouldn’t. This smile was all I had now, but it was then that I realized another layer to their law of exposure. Even if I did fashion some sort of weapon, there would be nowhere to hide it.
My small act of defiance was enough to send him over the edge, which was to be expected, Azrael had said.
People didn’t like when they didn’t know what was going on inside a person’s head, so they would do anything to change it.
To get inside. To wipe the smile and force the hidden emotions to come out and play, but I wouldn’t let him do that.
Charles Alascer was so weak compared to me. He would never destroy me. I would not give him that power.
He bared his teeth and cleared the distance between us. Wrapping a hand into the hair at the crown of my head, he lifted me up and slammed my face into the table.
I grabbed the edge of it, if only to stop myself from killing him. I couldn’t kill him. He was Rae’s. I couldn’t kill him, but I wanted to. God, I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist and slam my thumbs straight into his eyes.
I wanted to slam my plate into his head before taking one of the shards and slicing open his neck. I wanted to open him up and hold his tar covered heart in my hand while I watched the life drain from his eyes.
I wanted him to suffer.
But he was Rae’s and if loyalty was all I had left, then so be it.
He shoved his hips hard against mine and leaned over me, his cock throbbing against my backside. “You are nothing, Scarlett. The gifted whore of the church. Born to breed, born to please, born to obey.”
I stared out the window above the sink, my smile painful as he breathed heavily into my ear, my hair covering my face.
He was Rae’s.
He was Rae’s.
He was Rae’s.
But I could see his other hand pressed flat against the table just a few inches from mine. One scratch. One little injury to show him that I wasn’t doing this willingly.
I gritted my teeth and stared out that window while all of my focus went to my left hand. I could be quick. A deep, quick scratch.
With gritted teeth, I forced my hand up and over. There was no hesitation as I dug my fingers down and raked them with all I had in me across his hand.
He snarled, lifting my head up and slamming it down into the table, causing the world to spin.
“What did she do?”
He lifted his left hand, pressing my head hard into the table. “Fucking scratched me.”
A moment later, I felt a gun press into the back of my head, my entire body going still. “You’ll be punished for that one, Izbrannik Bozhiy. Be good or I’ll take that hand while his cock is inside of you.”
I was panting through my nose, staring at that window as Mr. Alascer placed his hand back on the table right in my line of sight. I watched the blood drip for several seconds before the gun disappeared. At least I drew blood. At least I had done that much.
Once Kat stepped back, Mr. Alascer laughed, shoving his hips into me.
“God, I waited so fucking long for you to marry that piece of shit all so I could have a piece of that sweet, blessed cunt of yours. Azrael might have used you first, but how much will he want you when he realizes your precious pussy was violated by someone other than him?”
“Don’t listen to him. He’s lying. Azrael knew the cost of this. He knew.”
“Which was why he asked you to stay.”
“You’re stronger than the doubts, Scar. They can’t break you.”
Mr. Alascer straightened, shoving his hips forward again as he shoved my head against the table, forcing my teeth to break through the skin of my cheek, copper bursting across my tongue. “What are the rules here?”
The fear was blinding. It caused my lungs to shrink and my stomach to twist. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. All I felt was cold, suffocating fear.
“You’ll have to pay a sum, but we were going to start her training today. You can prime her.”
It was an effort to keep the sounds from seeping out between gritted teeth. I was so scared.
I was terrified.
I felt him unbuckle his pants, my breathing becoming raspy, my nails digging into the table, my eyes widening.
“No.” The word whispered through me, quiet but so damn loud at the same time.
No.
No.
No.
I knew this would come. I did. I had spent months preparing myself for the possibility that I would be raped, but when I agreed with Azrael, it all disappeared. It shouldn’t have, but it did. I stopped thinking about it. I allowed myself to relax. I shouldn’t have let myself relax.
But now, being in this position, I wanted to curse myself for ever thinking I could prepare my body, my mind, for something like this.
Poppy was right, I was stupid. I was ignorant.
I had been trying to prove something that I never should have considered proving.
Coming up with the idea of willingly coming here was so…
so…stupid. Azrael asked me to stay because he knew.
Had he known all along? Had he hoped I would step away from that insane idea? Why had I suggested it?
I would rather be chained to a chair, starved, beaten, electrocuted, than ever go through this. I didn’t want this. What was I thinking? What had I possibly been thinking?
Every muscle in my body tightened, and I knew it was the worst thing to allow to happen, but I couldn’t stop it. This wasn’t Azrael pinning me down. This wasn’t Azrael giving and taking and giving some more.
I heard his pants hit the ground and felt the tip of his cock slide between my legs.
I didn’t want this. I never wanted this. I wanted to go home. I wanted Azrael. I wanted my rabbit and my brothers and my blankets. I wanted my sisters. Please stop, please stop, please stop!
I needed Azr—
I blinked, suddenly on Azrael’s desk, my legs crossed, Azrael watching me from his chair, a familiar soft smile across his lips.
My brows furrowed and I straightened, looking around the empty room. What the Hell?
“Looking for someone, little sinner?”
I turned back to him, the confusion only growing before I closed my eyes and shook my head. Wait. I knew what was happening. I had done it in the tub. I had done it in the church.
I opened my eyes, the tears instantly falling as I pulled my legs up to my chest trying not to think about what Mr. Alascer was doing to my body. “I’m scared,” I confessed quietly, my hair falling around my shoulders and arms. “Azrael, I’m really scared.”
His smile was warm as he leaned forward. “Fear is important in a world such as this. Whether it’s cast upon you or a blanket you cast upon them.”
The tears filled my eyes. “How can I cast fear upon them when they are raping me, Azrael? I want to kill them. I can kill them, I know I can.”
“You can,” he nodded, standing. He offered me a hand, which I gratefully took, and he helped me from the desk. “What will it achieve?”
He led me to the center of the room and pulled me into him, one hand finding my waist, the other holding our hands up to one side. “You must ask yourself all the questions you need to answer. Kill if you must but remember our goal.”
Goal? Our goal was to end the church, but why was this the price I had to pay?
“My divine sinning doll,” Azrael hummed, “you are the Queen of Hearts and I your loyal Hatter. I broke you free of one cage and gave you the instruments to break free of any others. If you want out: get out. The rivers will start to fill with the blood we spill but not until we get our till.”
My brows furrowed as I searched his eyes. I thought over his words just as he spun me around and pulled me back in, leaving me breathless.
After a second, I pulled back so I could speak. “They can’t hurt me if I’m here. I can’t feel what he’s doing to me.”
“A weapon of sorts, although it won’t last long,” he hummed. “Everything has a time limit. Well,” his smile widened, “everything except for us.”
I swallowed, looking around the office again, wondering where my brothers were, wondering if I would see them at all when I came to this place. “It’s Charles Alascer,” I told him, finding his eyes again. “He’s here. He’s attacking me.”
His eyes flamed. “If you’re going to kill someone, make it count,” he purred.
“You will be punished for the choices you make, Scar. Each one will come with a price you will have to pay. I know you’re scared, it’s a fear I understand well, but you have to think clearly, especially in times like this.
Will you be able to get out of that house without a reliable weapon?
Seven men. No backup, no weapons, no anything. ”
No, I wouldn’t survive trying to get out without a good enough weapon, which meant that this would happen again. I needed a knife, I needed a plan, and at the thought of how long that would take scared me to death. “How long do you think I’ll survive?”
“As long as it takes,” he answered, his smile sharpening.
“Don’t forget who you are, Scarlett. Escape anywhere, escape anytime, escape through time and space, and I will find you.
Do what you must to survive, whatever the cost is to your physical being.
They only truly break you if they break your mind. ”
I lifted my chin. “You said that real power comes from the control. How can I truly control them if all I have is my smile? Mr. Alascer hated it. It made him attack me. What if it makes them all attack me?”
“Darling, you already know that answer. The male ego is a fragile thing. When a pretty little pet like you comes in and wears a smile like grace and eyes that kill, only to deny them, they can’t help but do the one thing they can do: rage.
In their lack of control is where you find yours.
Fear is funny in men like that. You must treat them how they present themselves, do you understand? ”
I did.
They were nothing to me. Even afraid, I had more control than they ever would. I still had power because I had this. However long it lasted me.
“They’re going to keep doing this, hurting me.”
“They will continue to rape your body, little sinner, but we will rape their minds and leave nothing for them to rebuild from.”