Ch. 27 – Jax
J ax knocked on Tess’s door and glanced again at the mysterious text on her phone. It’d come two days ago, not through the Crazy Cat Ladies Club message thread, but directly to her from Alanna. The message had contained only a date, a time, and a familiar location.
The door swung open. Tess smiled. “Come in,” the petite woman said.
“Any chance you’re going to let me know what this off-the-books meeting is about?” Jax asked as she moved into the house. A part of her feared the Crazy Cat Ladies were waiting behind the door, ready to hold her down, tape her eyelids open, and force her to read Exit Wounds.
“I would if I could,” Tess replied with a shrug, “but I have no idea what’s going on, either. My house has been co-opted.”
Walking into Tess’s scarcely decorated living room, Jax tallied the other guests who were currently sipping on wine and munching what looked to be amazingly delicious oatmeal cookies. Everyone from the Crazy Cat Lady Club was accounted for, save one notable absence.
Layla was missing. In her place, Jax noticed a tall, curvy woman with a mess of doe-colored curls barely contained in a large bun. She sat on the couch next to Everly and smiled at Jax, her eyes crinkling at the edges behind trendy red glasses.
“Good, everyone’s here,” Alanna spoke from the center of the room, wineglass in hand. Today, she wore a crisp white blouse and dark, tight jeans that worshipped her long legs. Jax set the bottle of cab she’d bought on the breakfast counter.
“And why exactly are we here?” Tess asked.
“This is so exciting.” Everly clapped. “I luuuuurve secret meetings. Do we get passwords?”
“No passwords,” Alanna said with an eye roll. “First, for those of you who don’t know, this is Valerie Tanner.” She gestured to the stranger. “She’s the director of the Yucca Hills Animal Rescue and, for all intents and purposes, an honorary member of the Crazy Cat Lady Club.”
“Hi, everyone.” Valerie waved. “I’m so excited to be here. Everly and Layla talk about the CCLC all the time. I wish I could be a full-time member, but I kind of have a menagerie of animals at home. Between caring for them and managing the shelter, my time is limited.”
“We love you anyway, Val.” Everly slung an arm around her shoulders.
“And, for the record, I also have no idea what this is about,” Val added.
All eyes returned to Alanna. She took an imperious breath, then lowered her voice. “I have called you all to this unauthorized meeting to scheme, connive, and cause all sorts of mischief.” Her eyes sparkled.
The women leaned forward. Jax froze in the middle of lifting the open wine bottle toward her glass. Even from her perch near the corner, Willow seemed entranced. What was Alanna getting them into, Jax wondered. Were they going to plan a bank heist, complete with plastic cat masks ?
“Just tell us!” Everly hollered. “I’m about to squee in my pants from all the anticipation.”
“Ladies,” Alanna said, swirling her wine. “We are going to . . .plan the most epic bachelorette party for Layla the world has ever known.”
“Yaaaaas!” Tess raised her wineglass in triumph. “I’m in!”
“Oooooh, male strippers. I vote for male strippers,” Everly added.
Willow looked aghast.
Alanna was already shaking her head. “This is Layla’s bachelorette party. We’ve got to keep things clean.”
“No strippers?” Everly whimpered.
“I’m afraid not,” Alanna answered.
“What about penis hats?” Everly whined. “Come on, we haaaave to have penis hats.”
Alanna sighed and slumped onto the arm of Tess’s couch. “Look, we all want penis hats,” she agreed, a note of sympathy in her voice, “but Layla has already given up the wedding of her dreams. We’ve got to make this bachelorette party perfect for her.”
Uncertainly, Jax raised her hand.
“If you say penis cake, the answer is no,” Alanna snapped.
“Actually, I was going to suggest The Rose and Thorn as the venue,” Jax said. “I’m sure Theo would be glad to let us host the party there. It’d give us lots of space. We could put up decorations, rent a karaoke mach—”
“Oh, oh, oh.” Everly raised her hand. “I call dibs on I Will Survive. ”
“Good, this is good.” Alanna nodded. “What else do we have, ladies? Come on, I need ideas.”
“Layla really enjoys rom-coms,” Val spoke up. “I can see which one is her favorite, and maybe we can watch it at the party.”
“We can put together rom-com bingo cards,” Tess added. “That could be fun. ”
“Not as fun as strippers,” Everly grumbled.
Over the next hour, the women eagerly continued brainstorming. The more wine and cookies that disappeared, the more outlandish the ideas grew.
“All I’m saying is that Layla canNOT hold her liquor. She’ll be passed out within thirty minutes of Love Actually.” Everly was saying, a slight slur to her voice. “ Then the male strippers come by. She wouldn’t even know they were there.”
“Look, when it’s your bachelorette party, you can have all the male strippers you want,” Alanna assured her.
“Easy for you to say,” Everly shot back. “You’ve got that yummy handyman right next door giving you two orgasms in a row.”
“Sometimes more,” Alanna agreed.
“And you’ve got a super-hot bad boy who’s also an amazing single dad,” Everly turned to Val.
A hint of red crept into Val’s cheeks. “He’s also got a motorcycle.” She licked her lips.
Now Everly’s eyes speared into Jax. “And you’ve got the love of my life barking all the way up your tree. Life isn’t even close to fair.”
Jax’s grip tightened on the stem of her wineglass. Suddenly, all the fun of the night vanished. She’d been thinking about Rico all week. Fact was, she couldn’t get his face out of her mind. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw that look of confusion and concern slapped across his handsome features as she’d fled his car. Jax had been tempted to text him an apology or some sort of explanation a thousand times over the past three days, but nothing she could have told him would make sense.
He hadn’t reached out to her, either. The message was clear. He obviously didn’t do crazy .
Her heart ached but Jax forced a tight smile on her face. At least one good thing had come from her interactions with Rico. He still owed her a very special favor.
“Actually,” she replied, “Rico has a date with someone else.”
Everly’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Who? Do I have to cut a bitch?”
“You,” Jax said.
The walls of Tess’s house shook with Everly’s joyful holler.