Ch. 54 - Jax
J ax’s throat burned. But she’d gotten the words out, one by excruciating one. Now she sat hunched on Mom Clarissa’s pristine white couch, head down, hands tucked between her thighs.
What would her mothers think? How would they take–
“Oh, Jax!” Mom Jeannie threw her arms around Jax, her thin shoulders heaving with a sob. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so, so, so, sorry that happened to you.”
Slowly, achingly, Jax embraced her mother as the scent of chamomile flooded her nostrils. Mom Jeannie’s tears made her own eyes sting.
“It’s okay,” she promised her mother. “I should have told you about the rape sooner. I just . . . wasn’t ready.”
Rape. The word still felt like hot, bitter embers on her tongue. She hated that word. But it was her truth now. A part of her history that she couldn’t ignore or erase.
Over Mom Jeannie’s shoulder, Jax met Mom Clarissa’s gaze. Her biological mother sat on the edge of the couch, her posture rigid as always. But Jax was shocked to see tears swimming in her mother’s blue eyes. One tear slipped out, racing down Mom Clarissa’s cheek .
“Jax,” she said softly. “I didn’t know . . . didn’t know that’s why you quit tennis.”
“You couldn’t have,” Jax told her.
Mom Jeannie released her embrace and held Jax’s face in her hands. “We both love you so much. Whatever you need us to do, we’ll do it.” Her face scrunched up again. “Oh, Jax! My baby girl.”
Mom Clarissa rose.
“I don’t want Bobby to know,” Jax said. “I’ll tell him. Eventually. Just, not now.”
“Of course, of course. Jax. My beautiful girl!” Mom Jeannie hiccupped with another sob.
Mom Clarissa sat next to Jax. Hesitantly at first, then all at once, she gathered Jax into her arms. For a moment, Jax froze. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she slipped her arms around her mother.
“I love you, Jax,” Mom Clarissa whispered. “And you’re braver than you’ll ever know.”
Jax didn’t feel brave. But she also didn’t feel weak anymore, either. That was a start.
*
Later that afternoon, she sat in the passenger seat of Rico’s SUV and stared out the windshield at a squat building tucked between a Jack in the Box and a discount mattress store.
“You don’t have to do this today if you don’t feel ready,” Rico assured her. “We can always come back another time.
Jax pulled in a deep, wavering breath. “This isn’t about me anymore,” she said. “This is for Julia Diaz. And for the others.”
Rico had done some digging on Andrew the tennis player as soon as Jax had shared her truth with him. And he’d discovered Julia Diaz. Another rape victim. Unlike Jax, Julia had filed a police report last year as soon as the incident had happened. She’d gone to the hospital and endured the invasive rape kit procedure. She’d even bravely told her story on her social media pages.
But it was still just her word against Andrew’s. He was fighting the accusation. The local prosecutor was hesitating. There wasn’t enough evidence. Andrew’s parents had filed a defamation lawsuit against Julia.
So, Jax had to do this. She opened the car door and stepped out into the hot summer day.
Rico was by her side in an instant, his hand taking hers. Their fingers interlaced. Together, they stared at the police station.
Jax wasn’t an idiot. She knew filing a police report wouldn’t magically convince the prosecutor to file charges against Andrew. But it would begin to show a pattern of behavior. It would lend credence to Julia’s claim. And maybe, it would convince other women to come forward. Because there were other women. A few had anonymously commented on Julia’s postings, sharing similar stories.
If Jax stepped into the light and told her story, perhaps they would, too. With enough voices, maybe they’d be loud enough together to convince the prosecutor to act.
Rico squeezed her hand. “Worst timing in the world, but, Jax, I love you.”
She looked at him. Her knees might have buckled just a little. “Really?” It was the only word that popped into her head.
He smiled, that gorgeous, amazing smile that still stole her breath every time.
“Yes. Really. Now let’s get this bastard.”
“I love you, too,” Jax said in a rush. She’d known it as soon as she had watched Rico’s broadcast. But this past week had been so crazy. A blur of tragedy at the death of Layla’s boss, the discovery of Julia Diaz, apartment shopping with Willow, and wrestling with the decision to file this police report. She hadn’t had the time, the emotional space to fully parse her feelings.
But turns out, she didn’t need to parse them. They were right here, loud and proud, beating through her veins. She loved Rico Torres.
She turned to him. Rico was so strong, so solid, and it had nothing to do with the rigid muscles of his body—though those were very nice indeed. It was the way he looked at her, the protectiveness in his brown eyes. The way he respected her decisions, whatever they may be. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, right in the middle of the parking lot of the police station.
Two cars pulled into the lot.
“Wait!” Everly cried, practically lunging out of one car. “You haven’t done it yet, right? ’Cause we’re coming with.”
Jax stared in shock as the Crazy Cat Ladies, every single one of them—Tess, Alanna, Everly, Willow, and even Layla—piled out of the two vehicles.
“But I didn’t . . .” she stammered.
“I might have dropped a text or two,” Rico murmured against her neck. “I thought you might want your friends here.”
She didn’t. But she did. Oh, she did.
They swarmed up to her, arms embracing her, soft words of support spoken in her ear. Layla looked like absolute hell and hung back by the car, but even she offered a soft smile. When the other women released her, Jax walked up to Layla and wrapped her arms around the other woman.
“I’m so sorry about Dr. Goldman,” Jax whispered to her. And about Cal. That secret of Cal’s infidelity still sat heavy on her heart. Jax squeezed Layla extra hard. I’ll tell you soon, she promised her friend. And when I do, I’ll help you pick up the pieces. We all will .
Layla sniffled in her arms. “You’ve got this, Jax,” she said as they parted the embrace.
“Let’s absolutely destroy that dick wad,” Alanna added. “Like, utterly wreck him.”
Rico held firmly to her right hand. Tess took her left. The Crazy Cat Ladies added to the connection, each clasping hands until they formed a connected line, boldly facing the police station. It felt like an unbreakable chain of friendship, love, and support.
Jax closed her eyes. Love swelled through the chain of hands. She felt it lifting her up, blasting away the lingering darkness inside of her.
She opened her eyes and stepped forward.