Krish
Seated at the desk in our covert ops base, Phoenix Headquarters in Singapore, I focused on the mission reports, my jaw clenched so tightly that my temples throbbed.
The room buzzed with activity as my team worked diligently to compile a report on today’s mission, one that was meant to be a success but ended with an unexpected turn of events.
The words blurred on the page as I forced myself to relive every painstaking detail of the operation.
My mind drifted back to the chaotic scene at Ron’s hideout.
With Trisha’s tracking chip compromised by Max’s men, dispatching Ayaan to rescue her became our most viable option.
We relied on Ayaan’s distinctive black beaded bracelet, equipped with a tracker, to locate them and pinpoint Ron’s actual hideout.
By the time my team and I arrived on the scene, the fight had escalated into a full-blown firefight between Ayaan, Trisha, and Ron’s henchmen.
When Ron made his attempt to escape via chopper, everything shifted in an instant.
I recalled the chopper landing, its blades slicing through the air with a deafening roar.
My instincts screamed at me to take action, to explode the chopper and prevent Ron’s escape.
But then I saw him dragging Trisha towards the chopper, a gun pressed to her temple, and my priorities shifted entirely.
According to the plan, we were supposed to take the kingpin alive to extract vital information on the cartel’s expansive network. But seeing Trisha’s life hanging by a thread, I couldn’t let protocol decide her fate. Without hesitation, I raised my gun and aimed at Ron, pulling the trigger.
My hand still burned from the recoil of the gun that dropped Ron like a sack of potatoes.
In that split second, all remaining doubt had been dispelled.
I knew the price, knew there would be consequences for deviating from the operation’s primary objective, but in that moment, none of that mattered as Trisha’s safety outweighed everything else.
She was receiving medical treatment for her head injury, still unconscious but stable, thanks to Ayaan’s quick action, securing her after my shot.
The thought of those agonising moments, not knowing if she’d survive, twisted my gut into fresh knots of dread.
Only after she was airlifted with the emergency medical evacuation team did reality come crashing back in.
We’d eliminated the heads of this particular cartel, but failed to extract crucial intel about the larger network.
I had made a choice, one driven by love and duty, to protect the woman I cared for above all else. Trisha was someone I couldn’t bear to lose. And if given the chance, I would make the same decision again without hesitation.
Across the desk, Ayaan watched me impassively, giving me space to process everything. He understood me and the impossible choice I’d faced at the battleground today. Taking a slow breath, I turned to him. If anyone deserved answers first, it was the man who’d risked everything to get us this far.
“You’re probably wondering why I took that shot instead of trying for a non-lethal takedown.” My voice sounded flat, drained of emotion after wrestling with self-blame.
Ayaan merely arched an eyebrow in response.
“Yeah, I knew you would be,” I replied to the unspoken question with a bitter chuckle. “Let’s just say I don’t have any regrets about putting that bastard in the ground after what he tried to pull.”
My voice hardened as the memory resurfaced with double the intensity. “He was going to kill her right in front of us, then fly off to safety. And even if by some miracle she did make it, he’d just vanish into the ether with all the intel we needed to dismantle this drug cartel hierarchy.”
I shook my head in disgust.
“So, you’re damned right. I took the shot when I had it. Was it a violation of operational parameters? Sure. Did it put the entire mission objective at risk by eliminating our best chance at a bigger bust? Absolutely.”
Ayaan continued to remain silent, just hearing me out as I continued.
“But Trisha is still alive because of it. And I’ll make that call every single time if that’s the price to keep my agents safe, no matter the consequences.”
The silence stretched between us, thick enough to cut with a combat knife. Ayaan held my gaze for several heartbeats before giving a slow, solemn nod of understanding.
“I know you would,” he said at last. “Which is why I’d follow you into literally any hellscape on this planet.
Not many people have that kind of commitment.
I know the protocols say completing the mission is our priority, but I, too, wouldn’t let our agents lose their lives when we could save them in some way or the other, even if it means putting another few months of work into finding the intel that Ron could have provided us.
I still believe saving Trisha was the right call. ”
I snorted at the praise, leaning back in my chair.
“Let’s just hope the boss back in Austria, your father, sees it the same way when he debriefs us,” he adds. “But don’t worry, we’ll handle it. Together. Like we always do.”
There would be fallout; no doubt about it. Questions, second-guessing, and likely even disciplinary actions for going off-script in such an epic fashion. But as long as Trisha pulled through, as long as my team came home to fight another day, I could endure whatever hell rained down on me.
***************
The medical staff informed me Trisha had already been dispatched to a safe house for recovery. Impatience gnawed at my gut as I made my way across the GLEN compound, desperate to see her after that harrowing brush with death.
I should have known she wouldn’t rest once she regained consciousness. Stubborn as she was, of course, she’d already be back on her feet, likely packing her go-bag for the next high-risk deployment.
I keyed open the door to our safe house, the place where we lived together the last two weeks, and found Trisha in her room.
She moved with her usual efficiency, stuffing gear and essentials into her bags.
Just watching her in constant motion, safe and unharmed, filled me with overwhelming relief, a deep sigh escaping my lips as tension eased from my shoulders.
I crossed the threshold before she could turn and spot me, wanting nothing more than to feel her form against me, to affirm she was safe and real.
Snaking my arms around her waist, I pulled her back flush against my chest and buried my face in the curve where her neck met her shoulder.
The tension bled from my body as her familiar scent overwhelmed my senses.
This... this was what I’d risked everything to preserve.
Not just her life, but her vitality, her spirit.
For no idea how long, we remained locked in that embrace, my mouth tracing idle patterns across the warm skin left exposed by her loose shirt collar.
Each breath brought her deeper into my body.
As long as she was with me, everything was okay in my life.
But where I expected her hands to snake up and hold me in return, to sink into our embrace with the same bone-deep need, she remained unnaturally still and rigid. No welcoming caress, no murmurs of reassurance or affection. Nothing.
Furrowing my brow, I loosened my grip enough for her to turn and face me—only to be met with an expression of simmering anger rather than the relief I expected.
“What’s wrong?” I breathed, confused by her sudden emotional distance.
“You shot Ron?” she growled in a tone usually reserved for hostile interrogations, not romantic reunions.
Ah, so that was the source of her ire. I almost smiled, relieved her anger stemmed from something as mundane as duty rather than a serious matter of the heart.
“You know why I had to,” I replied, my tone hardening to match hers. “Your life was on the line, Trisha.”
She regarded me with steely gaze. “So?”
The sharp rebuke caught me off guard. “So?” I echoed incredulously. “You wanted me to watch him pull the trigger on your head while I stood there like your life meant nothing?”
For the first time, I detected a flicker of uncertainty cross her features before the scowl returned.
“What I mean to you isn’t more important than the whole mission,” she shot back.
“We’ve vowed to take down the criminal world, not keep protecting each other at the expense of compromising those responsibilities.
How many times are we going to be reminded of that? ”
The muscles in my jaw ticked. She acted as though the choice to sacrifice her life for the mission should have been a simple matter of duty over personal attachment. As if she were just another asset to be risked.
“Even if I’m reminded a thousand times, I’ll always choose your life over anything else on the line,” I growled, unable to keep the edge from my tone as I grabbed her upper arms in a bruising grip.
“That’s what any man who loves you would do.
That’s what I would do because I love you, Trisha Chaudhary. ”
The moment the forbidden L-word slipped out, her expression crumpled.
The word hung in the air between us, heavy with unspoken truths.
I had never outright confessed my feelings for her, but in that moment, it felt necessary.
She looked at me, tears glistening in her eyes, and I hoped that she understood.
I only wanted Trisha to understand how impossible it would be to just stand by and let her die for any mission. Not when she was my entire universe.
“Love?” Trisha’s voice cracked on the word as she swiped at the tears from her cheeks. “You know that’s not possible for people like us, right? It’s forbidden.”
I stepped closer, cradling her face in my palms as she tried to avert her gaze.
“Why?” I demanded, tracing the sculpted line of her jaw until she met my intensity head-on.
“Because we’re on some never-ending crusade to save the world from the bad guys?
Because you’re just another agent under my command? ”
She stiffened at the rhetorical questions. When she remained silent, I pressed harder. “Tell me why you think it’s so damned forbidden for this to happen between us.”
In a swift movement, she twisted free of my grip, putting space between us as she forcibly reassembled her mask of professionalism. “Because I don’t love you, Krish,” she bit out. “I can’t.”
I stared at her, dumbstruck. She... she didn’t love me? After everything we’d been through together, all the life-or-death stakes we’d cheated side-by-side, she was rejecting the love I’d laid bare between us?
“You don’t love me?” I echoed, my voice sounding distant and hollow even to my own ears.
Anger surged in the wake of stunned disbelief.
“Then what the hell was it between us these past few weeks? The days we’ve spent here showing how much we cared for each other, the kiss, the urge to go beyond the kiss… you’re telling me that meant nothing?”
Trisha’s expression remained stubbornly impassive. “Did I ever actually name it as love?” she countered with brutal honesty. “Did I ever tell you I wanted more than just... that?”
She didn’t have to explain further. She never wanted something more serious and lasting. While I’d been falling deeper under her spell with every brush of skin and heated breath, she’d simply been living in the moment.
“I know it’s not possible,” she went on, her tone softening ever so slightly as she searched my face.
“We might be attracted to each other, but we can never settle down, Krish. That’s not on my agenda, not now, not ever.
And if you can’t understand or accept that.
..” Her voice trailed off, accompanied by a subtle shrug of her delicate shoulders.
“It’s time we put a stop to this before it gets too complicated.
I don’t want you harbouring false hopes that one day we can put this behind us, get married, and settle into some idyllic family dream. ”
The words sliced through me, infinitely sharper than any combat knife.
“These missions, this life—it gives me the adrenaline kick I’ve always craved,” she continued in that same level tone that infuriated me. “I’m not ready to sacrifice that for anything. Not even love.”
Love. She spoke the word with disdain, as if it were something distasteful she wanted no part of. At least, not where I was concerned.
I clenched my fists until the knuckles turned bloodless. Of course, I’d seen love blossoming in her warm smiles and gentle caresses, and like a fool, I’d misread all the signs she offered freely with no intention of following through.
When I finally trusted my voice not to betray the storm of hurt and anger raging within me, I spoke in a tone of forced calm.
“If that’s your decision, if you can’t even see the possibility of us becoming more.
.. then we should end this.” I gestured vaguely between us, unable to give voice to the physical intimacies she was outright rejecting as meaningless. “Before it festers any further.”
Her only reaction was the slightest dip of her chin, the barest nod of acknowledgement.
White-hot fury surged through me at her casual disregard for everything we could have built together—for the future I’d foolishly assumed was within our reach.
I wanted to tell her so much more—to scold her, to put some sense into her, but words failed to form in my throat.
I just wanted to end everything right there and leave, to hide myself from Trisha and not let her see how vulnerable she’d made me because of her admission at that moment.
“I wish you all the best in your missions to come, Agent Trisha.” The formal title felt cold and impersonal on my lips as I spun on my heel, storming toward the door. I refused to look back, to let her see the storm ravaging my soul at that moment.
No more personal entanglements. This would never happen again, I silently vowed.
I wouldn’t let anyone exploit me emotionally hereon.
And most importantly, never again would I make the mistake of giving my heart so freely, only to be rejected and discarded like trash.
Trisha’s words had pricked too deep this time to be healed anytime soon…
or rather… to be healed in this lifetime.