Chapter Seven
Miles
The relief I felt when I saw Winter—and Goliath—sitting on my porch steps was palpable. After I parked in my driveway and got out of the car with Sola on my shoulder, I locked the truck up and walked around it to find Winter already standing there on the sidewalk, waiting for me.
Sola let out a little trill, jumped from my shoulder, scaring the crap out of me, and glided over to the porch railing where she landed.
As if that was some kind of signal, Winter stepped up to me and pulled me into a tight hug without hesitation. Right there, in my front yard, Winter hugged me. And it wasn’t a small hug, either. It was big and warm and exactly what I needed.
I melted into him, burying my face against his throat as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He was so strong, so kind, so warm, so ugh… just so everything, and I never wanted to let him go.
He kissed my hair and rocked me a little for a few minutes, and I soaked it up like a damn sponge.
I’d never had this.
I’d never had this physical comfort. This… simple affection.
The only exception had been my grandmother, but I hadn’t had that since she passed away when I was a little kid.
My parents had stopped hugging me when they realized what I was. I was maybe three or four the last time I’d received a hug from either of them.
After that, I’d learned to stay away from people, that touching people was bad. Not only because I didn’t like getting bombarded with their emotions—especially when those emotions were usually disgust at being near me—but because so many people were afraid of me and my magic.
I stayed away from them, but they stayed away from me too.
No one wanted an empath to touch them.
No one wanted someone else to sense that much about themselves.
And so… I stayed away.
Even past boyfriends, although there were very few of those, hadn’t hugged me like this. They may’ve tried looking past what I was, but they’d never… fully trusted me enough to make themselves that vulnerable.
So I hadn’t tried with them either.
But with Winter, it was different. And not only because he was a null.
I had a feeling that even if Winter had no magic of his own at all, he would’ve been happy to hug me.
And knowing that, feeling that down to my core, was everything.
My eyes watered a little as the hug continued.
It felt so good.
It felt like it was something I needed as much as air.
Something I hadn’t had my entire life.
Something that only this man was willing to give me.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Winter whispered against my hair. “You’re safe with me.”
I nodded against him, hiding my face because I didn’t want him to see how emotional such a simple gesture was making me. “Can we… can we go inside?”
“Only if you’ll let me hold you once we’re in there?” He said it with a smile—I could hear it in his voice—and I knew he wouldn’t force me to cuddle with him, but knowing he wanted to melted me a little more.
“Maybe we can watch an episode of that show before I cook dinner?”
He kissed my temple. “That sounds perfect. Come on, lovey.” I kinda loved when he called me that. He used it less than sugar butt—something that made me smile despite myself—and that made it even more special.
Unwrapping his arms, he kissed my forehead, then laced his fingers with mine and tugged me along. I had to unlock the door with my key, and as soon as I opened it, Sola swooped through the doorway, and Odin came running, meowing loudly like he was yelling at us for leaving him alone for so long.
“Oh, poor baby,” I said, dropping my keys and wallet on the little side table by the door. I scooped Odin up into my arms, cuddling him to my chest and giving him lots of kisses.
He purred, rubbing against my chin and cheeks and giving me affectionate headbutts. I loved his little headbutts. They were so cute.
Winter came in and set up a water and food bowl for Goliath, and I smiled in his direction even though he wasn’t looking at me. I should buy a set of bowls to keep here for the dog.
I gave said dog some attention since I hadn’t yet, and he licked my face, then licked a stripe up Odin’s back, and the cat gave me a look. He was so not impressed.
I couldn’t help but crack up, and luckily, Winter was close enough to see the whole thing, so he cracked up too. Freaking hilariously cute.
“Oh, you poor kitty. Are you all slobbery now?”
He meowed, sounding completely put out.
“Poor baby,” Winter muttered, giving Odin some scritches. “Want me to save you?”
As if understanding—which I knew he didn’t, but the timing was priceless—Odin crawled across my arms toward Winter. He laughed and pulled the kitty out of my arms, cuddling him tight.
I laughed and kissed Winter’s cheek. “I need to change. I’ll be right back.”
“No problem.” He sent me a wink.
I glanced at what he was wearing to make sure he was in lounging clothes—he wore sweatpants and a t-shirt—so I rushed upstairs to put on my own sweats and tee.
I was glad he was okay with wearing comfortable clothes because I hated lounging around the house in jeans, and I would’ve felt obligated to dress up if he had.
After I finished changing, I headed back downstairs and couldn’t help but pause on the steps, staring at Winter.
He was sitting on the couch surrounded by animals. Sola was on his shoulder, pecking at his hair. Odin was in his lap, purring so loud I could hear it from here as Winter petted him. And Goliath was sitting on the floor, pressed against his legs with his head on his thighs, right next to Odin.
It was adorable, and a smile spread over my face. My heart was happy that my animals seemed to like Winter as much as I did.
Before I could second-guess myself, I whipped out my phone and snapped a couple of pictures before Win could see me.
As I shoved my phone back in my pocket and walked down the rest of the stairs, Win glanced up, offering a smile. “Hey, handsome.”
For some reason, that made me blush, so I glanced down at my feet as I made my way into the living room.
When I was close enough, Winter reached over, grabbed my hand, and gently pulled me into the seat beside him.
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side, and I sighed as I snuggled in.
I really, really loved all this cuddling.
A guy could get used to this.
God, but should I?
I was loving every minute of Winter’s attention on me, but… but what if he finally got annoyed enough with me or bored with me that he… left.
Then what the hell would I do?
It would wreck me.
Was it better to soak up everything he was giving me now while I still could, or should I be putting a little bit of distance between us so my heart wasn’t ripped out when he left me?
Fuck. I hated feeling like this.
Why couldn’t I just enjoy this?
Why did anxiety always have to take root and hold on to me?
Why couldn’t I just… be in this moment?
I knew some of this anxiety was coming from being at the station today. That hadn’t exactly put me in the right headspace.
Too many memories. Too many bad vibes.
Too many emotions pushed at me from all sides.
And the sad part was… I’d missed some of that. I’d loved being a detective. At least at first. And I’d loved having Higgins as my partner. But too much bad shit had happened, and I couldn’t go back—didn’t want to.
But… I also kind of missed my friend too.
Fuck, my head was all over the place right now.
Winter kissed my hair. “You okay, sugar butt?”
Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at the name even though he couldn’t see me. Even though I didn’t really want to talk about it, I knew Winter deserved to hear the truth, especially after what’d happened this morning and how accommodating and kind Win had been about it.
I pushed all my anxieties away—for now, I’d soak up anything Winter was willing to give me, and I’d worry about the consequences later. His comfort would help me get through this talk.
After a few seconds, I cleared my throat. “It was… difficult being back at the station today.”
He gave me a squeeze but didn’t say anything.
“I worked as a detective for five years and worked in that building for almost ten.”
“Were you a police officer there before you became a detective?”
“Yep. That’s, uh, where I went after my parents kicked me out—to the police academy, I mean.
I joined that August after I graduated high school and kept at it until I became a detective.
I was partnered with Higgins right away, so I lucked out, but…
” I trailed off, unsure of what else to say.
I wasn’t sure I should go into all the whys of my leaving just yet, but I also didn’t want to hide anything from him.
“Did you like it?”
“Huh?” I lifted my head from his shoulder to blink up at him.
For some reason that made him chuckle, and he pressed his lips to mine in a soft peck. “Did you like being a detective?”
My gaze drifted off to the side as I thought about that for a few seconds before I finally said, “I did at first. I actually really loved it. I loved helping people. But once I realized how shady some of my coworkers were—hell, how shitty the entire system was—I started to hate it. And the violence and terrible things I saw people do to each other and to animals and faeries was… hard to take after a while.”
He was quiet for a long moment, but he simply held me tight, not letting me go, keeping me warm and calm in his arms. Finally, he asked, “What department did you work for?”
“The PRCU—Practitioner-Related Crimes Unit.”
That made Winter tense. “Seriously?”
My brow furrowed. “Yeah.”
He blew out a slow breath. “That… that’s who prosecuted me.”
I jerked my head back in shock, getting a good look at him. He looked pale and sad… maybe even hurt. “Win…”
He shook his head. “It was before you worked there, obviously, but yeah. The PRCU was called in because the woman whose house I broke into was a practitioner, and it didn’t take long for them to figure out that I’m a null. They were… not kind to me.”