Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Winter
Icouldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous. I hadn’t even been this nervous when we were about to go into battle against a billion gnomes while breaking a cursed seal on the basement wall. I hadn’t been this nervous when I’d asked Miles out. I hadn’t been this nervous in… years, probably.
I couldn’t stop fidgeting.
We were early. Really early.
But I’d been a fidgety, pacing mess since I woke up at seven this morning—I hadn’t even been able to really sleep in, dammit—and Miles had asked what he could do to help. I’d said coming here early, scoping the place out, and finding a table to settle at would help.
I wasn’t sure it actually had, though.
Sola stayed home with Odin. I felt bad that we didn’t bring her, but Miles thought her presence would draw a lot of attention to us—it would because how often did someone see a firebird up close, let alone one on someone’s shoulder?—and he knew I wouldn’t want eyes on us for this.
He was so thoughtful.
Miles reached over and grabbed my hands that were shredding a napkin into itty bitty pieces. “It’s going to be okay.”
I blew out a breath and faced him, leaving my hands under his gloved one.
Sometimes I wished we could be skin-to-skin, but he never took his gloves off in public.
I couldn’t blame him. They were his shield, his armor.
I was glad he’d found something to make him feel comfortable around people.
And I was used to the leather against my skin.
Honestly, even that was a comfort simply because it was him.
I said, “What if it isn’t? What if she’s coming here to tell me I’m a disgrace to the family, or that I should change my last name, or that I should leave the state and forget they all exist?”
His eyes darkened. “Is that what they said to you before?”
I shrugged. “Yeah.” And that wasn’t even the really bad shit my family had yelled at me.
“If she says anything like that, I’ll tell her to fuck off, throw my drink in her face, and we’ll leave.”
Picturing my sometimes shy, kind boyfriend—I loved being able to call him that—throwing a drink in someone’s face was funny and unlikely enough that I laughed. And then, because I couldn’t help myself, I leaned over to kiss his cheek.
To my surprise, before I could reach his cheek, he turned his head and pecked my lips, making me smile.
So I gave him a second peck, then kissed his cheek before sitting up.
His cheeks were flushed, but he looked happy.
Warm. Like my affection was a comfort to him, and that made me warm inside too because his affection was exactly that.
“Hey, Winter,” a soft voice said, a voice I hadn’t ever expected to hear again.
I turned to find my sister standing at the table, and I couldn’t help but clutch Miles’s hand.
I was probably squeezing tight enough to hurt, but he held on tightly and didn’t try to pull away.
He was my lifeline. My rock. The only thing holding me together and keeping me solid.
Keeping me from breaking into a million pieces.
I took her in. Her hair was as blonde as mine—almost white—but her eyes were the same as our father’s, brown with a ring of gold.
Her features were similar to mine to the point that people thought we were fraternal twins when we were growing up, even though she was a year younger than me.
She was wearing dark blue jeans and a purple blouse that looked like it floated around her collar and the short sleeves.
She had a tattoo on her forearm that hadn’t been there before—a pixie, of all things.
Why would she want a tattoo of a pixie? She’d never shown interest in faeries when she was a kid. So very random.
At least it wasn’t a gnome or a dwarf.
It had been thirteen years since I’d last seen her, and I could see the time written in the lines of her face. She had small lines beside her eyes and creases on either side of her mouth, both signs of a life filled with laughter.
A life without me, but still filled with goodness.
That made me feel… some kind of way, but I didn’t want to think about it anymore, so I pushed it aside.
I wasn’t sure how to react. Part of me wanted to be happy—part of me was happy—to see her, but there was so much hurt and grief mixed in that I was a jumble of emotions and anxiety.
Miles squeezed my hand again, and I took a breath, glancing at him for strength.
He sent me an encouraging smile, and I knew that no matter what happened here today, I’d have him in my corner.
He’d hold me up when I was ready to fall down, he’d hold me together if I was shattering, and if I was happy, well, he’d help me celebrate that too.
Clearing my throat, I glanced up at Magnolia and said, “Hey, Maggie.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she sent me a shaky smile. “Hey, Win. Can I…” She cleared her throat and wiped at her tears, catching one before it rolled down her cheek. “Can I sit down with you?”
I nodded, swallowing around the rock in my throat, afraid to speak less I lost it and started sobbing.
I didn’t want to let myself be happy with seeing her until I knew exactly why she was here, why she wanted to see me after all these years.
Why she never reached out before now.
When I’d been released from prison, I’d been so hurt that none of my siblings had visited me there, but I’d thought they’d been worried about going to the prison itself. I’d thought that maybe now that I was out, they’d want to see me.
I’d reached out.
Many times.
I’d called, I’d texted, and I’d called again.
And every single olive branch had gone unanswered.
I’d been completely ignored. As if I’d never existed at all.
I’d felt like a ghost in my own life.
I’d felt like trash thrown away and forgotten.
Lyric had been the only thing that’d kept me sane, that’d kept me from falling into a deep depression.
Magnolia sat down and stared at me for a long moment as I stared back. It seemed like she wanted me to say something, but I wasn’t the one who’d called this meeting, and I wasn’t the one who’d brushed her off in the first place. I wasn’t going to make this easy for her when it was so hard for me.
Finally, she cleared her throat and spoke. “It’s so good to see you. You look really great.” She turned toward Miles and held out a hand to shake. “I’m Magnolia, or Maggie for short. You must be Win’s boyfriend?”
Miles stared at her hand, but his right one was holding tight to me, and I absolutely didn’t want him to let go. He said, “Yes, I’m his boyfriend. Miles.” He didn’t release my hand, but he gave her a small nod.
Our clasped hands were on the table, and Maggie glanced at them before dropping her hand and pulling it back into her lap, looking awkward.
I couldn’t tell how she felt about me holding my boyfriend’s hand so openly in public, but I wasn’t about to hide it or be ashamed.
I was proud of who I was. Proud to be with Miles.
If she didn’t like it, too fucking bad.
She swallowed loud enough I heard it across the table and said, “How have you been? What have you been up to?”
I blinked at that, and a strangled bark of laughter came out of me.
“Do you really want me to go over how I’ve been for the last thirteen years, Mags?
Thirteen years. You haven’t spoken to me, haven’t checked on me, haven’t sent a single fucking text since I got arrested. You want to know how I’ve been?”
I leaned forward and kept going. “Well, I went to prison, and I don’t think I have to tell you how shit that experience was.
” She winced at that, but I didn’t care.
I kept going. “I got out, and my entire family—including you—turned their backs on me. Not a single one of you even answered my texts or checked to make sure I had, I dunno, a place to live. Food to eat. Nothing. None of you gave a single fuck about me. The only person who cared was Lyric. They’re the only one who came to see me when I was locked up and the only one who helped me when I got out.
“Did you know I had to crash on their couch for months after I was released because I had nowhere else to go? No one would hire me, so they just… let me stay with them. For as long as I needed.
“I worked a job I hated for over a decade, and then I met an amazing man who not only hired me but finally made me feel like I have a home.” My voice broke on that last word, and I hated that I’d let that much emotion slip out.
“I finally have people who care about me, and then you had to text me out of the blue after ghosting me for thirteen fucking years. So yeah, Mags, I’ve been better. ”
She winced at that last bit, and after several seconds, she muttered a small, “I’m sorry.”
I scoffed. “Sorry? You’re sorry? Yeah, okay. You’re sorry for abandoning your brother. Great. Apology not accepted.”
Miles squeezed my hand, and I looked at him, taking a breath and trying to calm down again.
I watched him watching me for several heartbeats, and seeing him helped me slowly relax.
He didn’t wince away from what I was sure was pain written all over my face.
The hurt of thirteen years of abandonment by my family.
He looked, and I let him, and all I really wanted was to crawl into his lap and let him hold me until this pain receded a little.
I heard Magnolia take a deep breath before she started speaking again, turning my attention back to her.
“I know I fucked up, Win. I know I did, and I’m so sorry about that.
I… I let Mom and Dad get into my head, and I just…
” She shook her head and inhaled again. “I… I’ve been wanting to reach out to you for a long time.
Nash has been encouraging me to do it for the last year, and I finally got up the courage to yesterday. I just…”
After a second, I asked, “Who’s Nash?”
“My… my fiancé.”
That made me suck in a breath. Fiancé? Maggie was getting married? “You’re getting married?”