Chapter Twenty-Eight #2
I shrugged to myself because it wasn’t like I’d be the one to figure this out. Maybe it was due to climate change, or maybe it was just from humans taking over so much of their natural habitat.
At the moment, Win and I had to remove the actual nest from this yard. Some people might’ve left it—or sprayed it with poison so the babies wouldn’t even be born—but I didn’t want to take the nest away from the others. I wanted to keep them all together.
They were a family, and even if they were being mean to other people, they still deserved to stay together.
I carried the large bin over to the nest, set it down, and stood there, trying to figure out where to start.
Winter joined me, holding a smaller box that had a towel inside. “I thought we could put the eggs in here, then put the nest pieces into the large bin?”
“That’s a great idea. I was trying to figure out how to pick it up without it breaking or harming any eggs, but this is better.”
We knelt down and began picking up the eggs that kinda looked like very tiny pebbles.
There were a lot of eggs inside this nest. A pixie mischief made one nest to share and guard as a group, so all the eggs ended up here, and the babies were raised by the entire mischief.
It was kind of cool, if I was being honest.
After we both checked three times and didn’t see any more eggs, we picked up the nest as best we could and placed it in the bin.
Some of the pieces—rocks, leaves, flower debris—fell off, but we got a good chunk in one go.
Then I added all those other pieces into the bin, closed the lid, and we headed for the truck with Win carrying the eggs.
When we pushed the big bin inside and secured it in place, Win set the egg box on the tailgate, and we both finally took off the pixie gear.
I pulled off the face mask, sighed, then pulled my arms out of the sleeves and sighed again. “Holy shit, it’s hot in these suits. I really hope we don’t have another pixie job this week.”
“Ugh. Me too. I’m a sweaty mess.”
“Same.”
“Definitely need a shower after work today. Blech.”
I shot him a grin. “Yeah, me too.”
He folded up his gear and put it in the pixie gear bin, then turned to me. “You know… we could always shower together. If you wanted.”
I bit my lip, not looking at him as I packed my gear into the correct bin as well, trying to give myself time to think of a response. Showering with him was something we hadn’t done yet, not for a lack of trying on Winter’s part.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. The thought of water running down his naked body was dream-worthy. But… but that meant I would be naked too. And while Win had seen me, I’d always had a blanket or something else close by or draped over part of my body like a shield.
I knew I didn’t need one with him. His null-ness made sure of that.
But being that vulnerable, not being able to pull something over my body, not having something to protect my skin, felt… like too much. It made me anxious.
More than anxious, if I was being honest.
In fact, I was a sweating mess at the moment just thinking about it. And I’d already been sweaty, but now I was having nervous sweat, which was so, so, so gross. Nervous sweat was going to stink, which meant Win would smell me, and thinking about that made me sweat even more.
Oh my god. I needed to get it together.
There was no reason to be this nervous.
Not about the stupid sweat, and not about the shower.
But uugggghhhhhhh.
I couldn’t seem to get over myself about the shower.
I wanted to, I really freaking wanted to, but I wasn’t sure I could.
Not only would I be completely vulnerable with my empath magic, I’d also be completely naked. In front of Winter.
Naked.
In the bathroom.
Where the light was bright.
Not in a bedroom with the lights off and a blanket covering half of me.
Did I really want Win to see me? All of me?
“Hey,” Winter said softly, coming to stand beside me.
He started rubbing my back, and all I could think was oh shit, you’re gonna smell me.
“It’s okay, lovey. We don’t have to if you don’t want to, okay?
I don’t want to pressure you, and I really don’t want you doing anything you’re not a hundred percent comfortable with.
I meant it as something fun to do together, but it would only be fun if you actually wanted to.
So let’s just forget about it, okay?” He kissed my temple.
Oh god, he can definitely smell me.
I turned to look at him, and I knew my face was a grimace. “It’s not that I don’t want to… it’s just…” I trailed off, unsure of how to explain it without sounding like I didn’t trust him. Because I did.
I just wasn’t sure I trusted myself not to freak out on him if we were in the shower together.
“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. If showering together isn’t your thing, then we won’t do it. Simple as that.” He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “I promise it’s fine.”
“You’re not mad?”
He shook his head, his brow furrowed. “Of course not. Like I said, it’s no big deal if you don’t want to. There are plenty of other things we can do.” He winked at me, offered a grin, and kissed my cheek again.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” He leaned in and licked my cheek, making me splutter and push him away with a laugh. “Mm. Tasty.”
“You’re disgusting.” Ugh, now he licked my sweat! I laughed and tried to grimace at the same time.
He laughed again, picked up the egg box, and shut the back of the truck. “Come on, let’s get these guys to their new home.”
I nodded, took a breath, and went to the driver’s seat.
Win kept the egg box on his lap as I drove to The Ringshire Faerie Sanctuary, and we both did our best to ignore the high-pitched bell sounds—pixies screaming—coming from the back.
“You alright over there, babe?” I asked, not really paying attention to my words.
“I’m good, babe.”
I wrinkled my nose when I realized I’d called him that first. Never in my whole life had I ever called anyone babe. For fuck’s sake.
He snickered. “Your face. Oh my god, I was only teasing you, sugar butt. I call you five million endearments. I don’t care at all what you call me.”
I shrugged. It was still weird because I hadn’t even realized I’d done it. Whatever. I was still feeling off because of the shower thing, and I just… I wasn’t sure how to make myself feel better about it.
Winter’s hand found its way to my thigh, and his null magic made everything in my head quiet. It was glorious, not having to block out every single person’s emotions as we passed by them, not having to push the pixies’ high emotions to the back of my head.
“What’s wrong, Miles? What’s going on in your head? You look worried.”
I sighed and decided to be honest with him since he was always honest with me. “I’m… still thinking about the shower thing.”
“Honeybuns, you don’t have to worry about that. It’s seriously no big deal if you don’t want to shower with me. Honestly, there’s no reason to be upset about it.”
“It’s not… it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…” I sighed and ran a gloved hand through my hair. “When I was in the academy—the police academy, I had this… I don’t want to call him my boyfriend because he wasn’t really. He was just… this guy I fooled around with, I guess.”
I trailed off as I slowed at a stoplight and took a few seconds to gather my thoughts.
“We lived at the academy, right? It was kind of like a college dorm, I guess. We all had a roommate in our rooms, but the bathrooms were communal. Each floor had to share. I always woke up super early and showered while everyone else was still asleep because I… well, you know. My empath magic, I… I couldn’t protect myself as well without clothes on since there was no barrier if someone bumped into me or something.
Plus, I was just more comfortable not showering around other people.
“Anyway, he, the guy I was sleeping with… he convinced me to shower with him one night. I don’t even know why I agreed, but he just seemed so…
excited about shower sex, I dunno. It was weird, and I felt so…
vulnerable in there, but I wanted to keep this guy happy. I…” I trailed off again with a wince.
I’d been so lonely back then. My parents had kicked me out, I’d been unhoused before moving to the academy, I had no friends, no family. I just… I’d needed something—someone—to hold onto, so I would’ve done pretty much anything he wanted.
“After we finished, a group of guys came in, and Hector left me there in the bathroom alone with them. He didn’t feel like waiting for me to finish getting dressed, so he left me, and…
well, I was the freak, you know? Everyone there knew I was an empath.
I had to do special training, and some of the guys were mean about it—maybe they were jealous or something, I dunno.
“But they saw me half naked and just… they didn’t beat me up or anything—they didn’t have to. They just… touched me. Put their hands on my body, on my skin, and all their anger, their amusement at my reaction, their hatred toward me, the jealousy, the fear, all of it just… invaded my thoughts.
“Back then, I was even less in control of my ability, so I just… I went down and curled up in a ball, and… they kept laughing at me and touching my arm or whatever, just to set me off again.”
I cleared my throat. “Eventually, they left, but I didn’t move, not until Hector came back in and actually had some sympathy for me. He called for the medical staff, and I don’t really remember what happened after that.”
I cleared my throat. “The commander decided to move me to a private room with its own bathroom after that, and I refused to talk to Hector again, even though he sought me out for sex a few times. I just… anyway, I think I’m just…
scarred from that, I guess? And I know you would never, ever, ever do anything like that to me.
Obviously, I know that. And I trust you so much, I swear. I just… but I just…”
“Hey, shhh. It’s alright, sweetheart. Can you pull over, please?”
I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to pull over, but I did it without question just because he asked.
As soon as I put the truck in park, Winter set the egg box on the dash, unbuckled his seatbelt, then mine, then pulled me into a tight hug. I went with ease, letting his calm and strong presence soothe me until I melted into him.
After a few minutes, he said, “I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through that. So fucking sorry. Those guys were assholes, and so was Hector. He shouldn’t have left you, especially if he knew you were uncomfortable in there. I wish with all my heart you never would’ve been put through that.”
I sniffled—was I crying? How hadn’t I noticed that? “I… thank you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t thank me for that.
Jesus. Miles, you are the most beautiful person in the entire world.
Inside and out.” He leaned back and cupped my cheeks, staring intensely into my eyes.
“I’m sorry I put you in that headspace when I asked.
I won’t bring it up again, okay? But if you want to talk about it, it or anything else, I’m always here for you. Alright?”
I nodded and sent him a shaky smile. “Thank you.”
He nodded and rested his forehead against mine.
“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like that ever again.
” He said it almost under his breath, like he was promising himself more than me.
I wasn’t even sure if I was supposed to hear it, but I had, and it was so sweet.
Not something he could control, but it was still sweet.
I lifted my gloved hand to cup his cheek, running my thumb across his lower lip.
Then I leaned in and pressed my lips against his in a soft, barely there kiss.
Winter hummed against me but didn’t deepen the kiss.
Our lips stayed there for a few seconds, and when we parted, we remained close, breathing the same air.
“Thank you for understanding, Win,” I whispered.
He shot me a sad smile. “Thank you for telling me, and I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not your fault.”
His lips pressed into a flat line, and I had the feeling he disagreed with me but was trying to let it go.
He kissed the corner of my mouth, then my cheek, then pulled me into another bone-crushing hug. “I adore you, Miles Curbelo. Absolutely fucking adore you.”
That made me smile and hold him tighter. “I adore you too, Winter Alexander Montgomery.”
After a few seconds, we released one another, and he said, “Hey, why don’t I know your middle name?”
I snorted and put the car back in drive. “You never asked.”
“Okaaaay, so then what is it?”
“What’s what?”
He sighed. “Now you’re being difficult on purpose.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “I’ll just have to find your license and figure it out myself.”
“Good luck with that. If you think I’m going to let you see my license picture, you have another think coming, sir.”
He snorted and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “I can be sneaky when I want.”
I laughed, shaking my head, then got back on the road, ready to take the pixies to their new home with my very amazing boyfriend by my side.