Chapter 17 #2
“I know it feels that way, love.” He thumbed my cheek. “But a lot can happen before the Final Trial. Tides can change when we least expect it, right when we believe there’s no hope. The moon wanes and the sun rises, and you’ll see it’s often darkest before the dawn.”
I frowned, hating how beautiful his words were when they just reminded me I was stuck in the dark. “Is there anything coming up in our sessions, or the Final Trial, that will keep Max from running away from me? If the rest goes as spectacularly as it has so far, then I’ll get nowhere.”
Kingston grimaced. “No, not really. The Obstacle Course is more intense and hands-on. The Knights have worked things into your lessons, but you’re on your own at that point. Unless the Knight is a step in your particular solution.”
As he chose his words carefully, I perked up. “Well, that gives me some hope, at least.” But it was short-lived. “I’m just so frustrated. He won’t talk to me.”
“Whatever Max is dealing with right now, it might be too risky to share.”
“That’s even more reason to help him.” I growled, frustrated both he and Landon kept telling me the same thing while doing nothing to help me. “What would you do if it were Landon?”
Kingston’s heartbroken expression tore at my heart. “I’m doing it, love.”
Tears pricked my eyes, and I drove my hands into my hair, pulling at the strands. “Fuck.” Pressing my eyes shut, I turned away from him. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I dropped my head against the glass, struggling past the mounting fear and frustration over the thought of not getting through to Max. Kingston had been dealing with the same for a decade. Even with no hope of it working out, he kept going.
He knew exactly what it was like to carry secrets alone.
Pressing in close, he wrapped his arms around my back. “I’ve said this before, but it remains true. Holding onto faith can feel impossible at times, but we—” He swallowed deeply. “You’ll see what it was all for in the end. And I have to believe that’s true for Landon and Max. For us all.”
I shook my head, not wanting to hear that, even if it might be true.
Because, if he was right, I didn’t know how to face it.
My life had been filled with lemons. Things didn’t work out, not in my experience. So, I didn’t know how to sit by and just have faith, hoping they would.
The idea of doing so terrified me.
Especially since, if Kingston was wrong, I could lose Max.
And after everyone I’d already lost, I—
“I should go to bed,” I said stiffly, withdrawing from him. “It’s been a long day, so…”
Kingston shuttered his expression before nudging me toward the door. “Go on, then.”
I made it to the doorway before turning back around, emotion clogging my throat and tears threatening behind my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No need to be. It’s an unimaginable position to be in, having to protect yourself and separate pieces of your heart while holding onto faith.
So, you never need to be sorry. Not with me.
” His eyes fell on the chessboard by his desk.
“Just be strategic. Think each move through to the end. And be safe. Remember, I’m here. ”
The corner of my mouth lifted with a sad smile.
“That’s what he said.” I waited until Kingston returned his gaze to mine. “Landon. He told me to be safe. Be strategic. You’ve gotten through to him, to all of us, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.”
Kingston’s expression threatened to break, and I rushed forward to wrap my arms around him.
But he shook his head and held out his palm.
I froze, and his eyes widened before he dropped his arm.
“What’s going on, Kingston?” I searched his face. “Is everything okay with you? Or with you and him?”
He forced a smile and cleared his throat. “It will be, love. Don’t worry.”
That didn’t ease my concern, so he stepped toward me and tipped up my chin with his thumb. He winked, reluctantly drawing a smile from us both. “I have faith.”
“Okay.” I nodded, giving him my best watery smile. “I’ll try to do that, too.”
Predicting how successful I’d most likely be, his smile came easier. “Just be safe. That’s all I ask.” He raised his eyebrows knowingly. “And be strategic.”
“I will.”
Later that night, while lying in bed thinking about Kingston and Landon, I fell asleep to restless dreams, filled with bears and shadowed men.
I woke suddenly, gasping for air.
As I caught my breath, I stared up at the ceiling.
I ran through the threats in our path, the need to escape them, and my mind returned to the question from Tristan’s lesson. Restless, unable to go back to sleep, I tried to decide which bear from my dream represented the different predators at Camelot Court.
Merle came to mind, but I couldn’t put my finger on him. He often acted bumbling and nervous. Other times, a sinister edge alerted me there might be more to him than met the eye.
Those thoughts led to Morty, another question mark.
I didn’t know if he was a bear yet, or harmless, given the knife he’d handed me during my session with Ben Devereaux. My old pal Silk seemed like one to back down if I made a fuss, but he creeped me out enough to remain unsure.
None of the other Knights stuck out the way he did, but I hadn’t gotten to know them very well.
Except for Brad, who had small black bear vibes.
Then there was Drake D’Arthur.
From everything Kingston had told me, I would’ve labeled him as a polar bear. The tremor of fear that ran through everyone in Camelot Court suggested it, too.
But Kingston’s recommended approach for how to deal with him contradicted that.
Plus, he’d been absent most of my time here.
My interactions with him, while menacing, weren’t the source of my fears as much as his reputation.
Something about that struck me as ominous.
Maybe Drake D’Arthur wasn’t a bear at all, but the proverbial snake in the grass, waiting for a chance to strike.
Just like the Valencourts.
Left without answers, I fixated on why they were teaching us these lessons to begin with, and how they’d apply in the Final Trial. I highly doubted they were just offering useful tips on how to navigate the men at Camelot Court.
But I couldn’t put it all together.
Growing tired, I forced the thoughts from my mind.
But before I drifted off, I wondered which of the girls hadn’t picked the bear.
And why?