Chapter 5 #2
My brows knit. “That makes no sense. Wouldn’t she still be able to figure it out? Through another DNA test or… I don’t know, the internet?”
Zach shrugs. “The Nicks had their DNA records blocked. They paid someone to scrub their info from any of those databases. Didn’t your parents do the same thing?”
I nod slowly, realizing how weird that actually is. My parents paid for privacy. For protection. For control, and I never questioned it, until now.
“So… Jamie doesn't want anything to do with Ella?” I ask quietly, still in disbelief.
“Nope,” Zach says flatly, with no hesitation.
“But that doesn't make any sense,” I say, frowning. “He’s not the kind of guy to run from something this big.”
Zach scoffs.
“Yes, he’s selfish, but this…that’s not him.”
“So cheating on you, and fathering a child while agreeing to marry you just to fulfill some stupid rich people destiny isn’t considered heartless?” He raises a brow and watches me intently.
I can feel myself squirming under his gaze.
“It’s not the same.” I flutter my hand. “That was wrapped in all kinds of problems, and yeah, the way he went about ending things with me was wrong, but that doesn’t change who he was when things got tough.
He’d always hold my hand under the table while my mom talked shit about me to whoever would listen, and at the end of those dinners, we’d go out to the gazebo and talk for hours under the stars.
He wasn’t always terrible to me, even though that’s what he’d like everyone to believe. ”
Zach studies me for a long moment. He’s searching for something, but I’m not sure what.
“What?” I finally say.
“You’re too good for this world,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Why?”
“Because you see the good in people who treat you like shit. I doubt you’d be defending him if you knew half the shit he said about you in the locker room.”
“I’m not defending him,” I insist, though I feel a little less confident. “I’d just rather hold on to the good memories than let the bad ones take over.”
Zach exhales through his nose. “Sometimes the bad parts are the truth, and ignoring them doesn’t make them disappear.”
I glance up at him. “Maybe not, but he’s Ella’s father, so maybe he doesn’t need to be written off just yet.”
That softens him. He doesn’t answer, but I rest my head against his shoulder, and after a beat, he presses a kiss to the top of my head.
“Come on,” he says. “Let me show you Ella’s room.”
He leads me across the hall, pushing open a door to reveal a smaller bedroom. The walls are a lighter blue, and there's a small bed with Iced Out sheets against one wall.
“This is for Ella,” he explains. “She’s never had her own room before, so I wanted her to have a place that feels special.”
He pushes open a door, revealing a small bathroom with a step stool and Ella’s name carved into it. Of course, there are Iced Out bath accessories sitting on the ledge of the tub.
“This is really sweet, Zach,” I say, taking it all in.
He shrugs, trying to play it off. As though he’s not sacrificing things for them to be here.
His time, his money, his freedom— that’s what I love about him.
He can say I’m too good for this world, but I think that applies to him more.
He’ll always focus on making everyone else happy, even to his own detriment.
“I want them to feel at home here. They deserve it.”
“They do,” I say simply before wrapping my arms around his waist and placing a kiss on his lips.
“Now,” he says with an infectious grin, “let me show you upstairs.”
He takes my hand and leads me up the staircase. I feel it. The nerves. I’m so damn nervous about seeing this room.
At the top of the staircase, there’s a short hallway with two doors. He lets go of my hand and places his on the small of my back, leading me to the one furthest away.
“The master is over here.” He pushes the door open.
The room is dark, but the second he turns on the light, I gasp.
It’s perfect.
I knew it would be.
There’s a four-poster king-sized bed in the middle of the room with a navy comforter and enough pillows to make me want to drown in it. It’s a far cry from the spiky mattress in my dorm.
“I’ve tried to keep it as minimal as possible.” Zach walks over to the curtains and opens them up. Moonlight spills into the room as the floor-to-ceiling windows are revealed.
My mouth gapes open in surprise as I head over to check out the view. It’s dark, but I can still make out the large backyard and patio below.
“I didn’t want to go too crazy on colors until I got your input.” I hear it in his voice. The slight waver. My stomach tightens.
This is all for us.
“It’s beautiful, Zach,” I say quietly, offering him a small smile because I don’t know what else to say.
He doesn’t press. He just gives me a little nod, then moves to one of the doors off the bedroom.
“And this,” he says, pulling it open, “is the closet.”
I walk into the room, glancing at the one side that’s already filled, Zach’s side, and then to the other side, which is completely empty.
“I left half for you,” he says casually. “Plenty of room for all those sweatshirts of mine you keep stealing.”
I laugh because it’s easier than saying what I’m actually feeling, which is overwhelmed. The twist in my stomach is too painful to ignore now.
Am I being an idiot?
Why am I not just moving in with him right now? I’d get a good night’s sleep in the arms of the man I love, in a bed that’s comfortable, and I wouldn’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks.
He wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses me on the temple. “Can I show you the best part?” he whispers into my ear. As if this isn’t enough already.
I nod, and he guides me to the other door. The moment it opens, I’m staring at a soaking tub big enough for two and a rainfall shower beside it. Warmth rises through the heated floors as I step inside, and for a second, I’m completely speechless.
This is the kind of bathroom that belongs in a five-star hotel, not a twenty-year-old college quarterback’s house.
“This is why you wanted to show me the place, isn’t it?” I ask with a hint of humor as I run my hand along the edge of the tub.
He knew that once I saw this, I’d realize what a sick joke the grimy communal bathrooms in my dorm are.
“One of many reasons,” he says with a grin.
“And is that a linen closet?” I ask, nodding toward a closed door across the bathroom, needing a distraction from the emotions I’m feeling.
“That,” he says, “could be all yours.”
I push open the door to reveal an empty room with windows just as high as the bedroom.
“It gets the best natural light in the house,” he says, joining me. “I thought it would be a good study space for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah, if you don’t need that, then it could be a library, or whatever.” His hand finds the small of my back, and that’s when I feel how carefully he’s watching me. “I just thought it would be nice to have your own place, away from everything.”
“It’s beautiful, Zach.”
And it is… but it’s also scary because he’s thought of everything. Everything. Just like with Ella and Tiff, he’s found a space that’s just for me, inside a life that’s entirely his.
His generosity makes me want to take the leap with him. Why not? He’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I love him, but that nagging voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that’s what I thought Jamie was.
I don’t just need to be independent. I crave it. I need to know what it’s like to stand on my own, even if that means passing up a place where I could be happy.
“I know you still have reservations.” Zach’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “But I’m honestly tired of watching people treat you like shit just because I’m in love with you.”
My heart beats faster, the admission settling deep in my chest.
“It’s not fair,” he continues. “And I know you don’t want to get married just yet, but I want to help, and this way, you’d have the best of both worlds. Your own private space, but also…” he trails off, gesturing vaguely to encompass the rest of the house. “Us.”
I don’t respond. I just keep looking around the room.
I’ve spent a year trying to break out of the molds other people built for me, and now here I am, standing in a house that’s just waiting for me to move in. It would be so easy to say yes, and my heart wants to. God, does it want to, but my head keeps asking the same question.
Who are you without him?
“There’s one more thing I need to show you,” he says, breaking the silence. “Come on.”
He leads me back downstairs and through the kitchen to a set of sliding glass doors. “The backyard.”
We step outside onto a wide, freshly stained deck with a built-in outdoor kitchen and plenty of space for a table and seating area.
“It’s not much now,” he says, his hands stuffed in his pockets, “but I’ve got plans.
Maybe a hot tub in that corner with string lights over the deck.
” He gestures to the far right. Then he points toward a flat patch of grass near the fence.
“And over there, I was thinking of putting a swing set in for Ella.”
I lean against the deck railing, taking it all in. The backyard lights stretch far enough that I know there will be plenty of privacy here. Ella will have the perfect space to play and grow up.
“What do you think?” he asks, hope clear in his voice. “Could you see yourself here?”
“Of course I could,” I say with a harsh laugh. “How could I not? It’s the perfect place, Zach. You’ve made it everything I could ever want.”
“Then why are you crying?” he asks gently, placing his hands on my hips and crouching so he can look into my eyes.
I turn my head and wipe away the tears, feeling foolish. “You want to give me everything, and I just don’t know if I can give it back.” I drop my gaze to my hands, not wanting to see Zach’s reaction. “It’s just a lot.
“I know,” he says softly, pressing his forehead to mine, grounding me the way he always does. “But we've always been a lot, haven't we? From day one.”