Chapter Thirty-Four
Saphyra
A weight lifted from my chest when, one by one, they each agreed. This choice couldn’t have been easy for them, Lex especially, but I was grateful that we’d been able to work through it. I didn’t want to do this without their support, but I might have. If that’s what it took to save Grey. It had to be done. I couldn’t watch him waste away, weakened as he was. That was not an option I was willing to accept.
“Thank you. I know I’m asking a lot.”
Gruff grumbles and nods of assent followed my statement. We were in agreement about this, at least. Now we had to convince Grey, assuming the medicine Melody had given him started to work soon.
But… something was wrong with the bed.
I studied it for a moment. It didn’t feel right. That pillow was turned sideways, and the fluffy blanket wasn’t smooth enough. Could no one else tell? It needed to be perfect for Grey when he woke up.
Ghost stepped past Lex, who was watching me with a strange expression on his face, to see what I was doing. “Are you…? No, never mind, don’t answer that. Keep doing what you’re doing,” he chuckled, a look of fondness in his pale blue eyes. “Is there anything you want? Anything missing?”
I only half heard him as I arranged more blankets around the edge of the mattress, but now that he mentioned it, yes, there was something else that I needed.
“Can you get the pillows from Shadow’s room? I need them.” It felt good to ask for what I wanted. I couldn’t have done that on the Hive. They’d have punished me for even questioning it. We were allocated specific things for our well-being, but nothing so frivolous as cushions, even if they smelled divine.
“I’ll go,” Shadow volunteered.
My eyes snapped up to his. Memories of the hall filled with raging alphas overwhelmed me with concern. “I don’t think it’s safe to wander alone right now. Take Lex with you.”
“That’s a good idea. We’ll be back soon,” Lex said with a subtle smirk, and headed for the exit.
I fussed with the blankets but kept watch from the corner of my eye while Ghost tracked my other mates on the cameras as they walked down the passageway. The extra guards stayed by our door, watching over me. I was safe, but they were vulnerable to whatever threat was working against us.
All was quiet in the halls, and I soon lost track of time, reveling in the softness and scents of bundled fabric and fluffy cushions, until it felt right. The requested pillows were delivered while I was engrossed in my task and immediately tucked in with the others. When I looked up, it was to find the fond, silver gaze of Grey following my every movement.
Heat rose to my cheeks, but I didn’t have time to be embarrassed because those beloved eyes were open and resting on me. I flung myself across the bed and into his arms.
He grunted as my weight settled against him, but he recovered quickly with a rueful smile. “You’re nesting.”
“I am?” It seemed like I was. “Yes, I am. But you’re awake. How do you feel? Are you okay?” I snuggled up against him, pressing kisses to his neck above the bandage. Even if I could stop my overt display, I didn’t want to. Any distance between us was too far right now. It was too far for any of my mates who had returned from their errand and were lounging in various positions around the room. I had to keep them closer, but right now, I needed to take care of Grey.
A hollow cough punctuated his rolling chuckle, vibrating against my chest where it was pressed against his. “I’ve been better. Can someone tell me what happened?”
Seeing that I was busy peppering fervent kisses to Grey’s face, Lex quickly summarized the events that took place following the meeting. When he got to the part where we agreed to complete the bond, Grey cut into the conversation.
“Stop. I didn’t agree to this, and I won’t be the reason that Saphyra doesn’t have a bonded alpha mate. I’m only a beta. It’s completely inappropriate. She’s the queen.”
I tugged at the hem of his shirt, anticipating contact with his naked skin, but he placed his hands over mine, halting my progress.
I wriggled against him in protest. “Why would the Stars have blessed me with so many perfect mates if I wasn’t allowed to keep them? I’m sure that’s just a superstitious myth that Titus heard somewhere. We’ll find proof, and that’ll be that.”
Grey arranged me more comfortably in his arms, keeping my searching fingers at bay. “It might only be a myth here, little one, but it’s a historical fact on Altaira. The story is of our last blooded queen. Generations ago, there was a queen gifted with a Star-blessed mate from each of the bloodlines in our system. The bond broke her, and then it broke all of them. She never birthed a child, so her family appointed an heir. The blood ties to the throne were thin, and the bloodline was severed. They’ve been trying to rebuild it ever since. I believe that’s why the Hive was originally created. It was so long in the past, I hadn’t considered it until Titus brought it up as a concern.”
“But… why would the Stars do something like that?” Sadness crept into my words before I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his light, citrusy scent.
Grey’s hand swept soothing circles over my back, comforting me. “I don’t know. Maybe she was punished for being greedy and bonding them all. Maybe she wasn’t worthy of the gift she was given.”
“But I will be worthy of you—all of you. I need you by my side to heal my planet and my people.” My attention shifted to each one of my mates’ beloved faces. I was serious about doing this, but I was just as serious about needing their help. “I can’t do that if any of you die.”
Grey smoothed my hair back from my face. “I’m feeling much better. You shouldn’t worry.” His wan complexion and the rasp in his voice belied his words.
I noted that he didn’t say he wasn’t going to die, just that I shouldn’t worry. The omission concerned me even more than if he hadn’t said anything at all. “I think you know how dangerous this situation is. You’re being brave for me, but you don’t have to. I’d rather hear the truth.”
Grey lips lifted at the corners in a weak smile. “You’re too smart for your own good. Yes, I’m aware of the danger now.” He groaned and sat up. “My hope was that an incomplete bond could sit idle for a while with only minor discomfort as a side effect. That’s clearly not the case. After a time, it appears to act like a bond that’s been broken or rejected. There’s many reasons bonding is strictly prohibited on the Hive. This is just one more for the list. The risk is too high, and one that I underestimated.”
“Good, so it’s agreed. You complete the bond. Then we hunt down the solution for everyone else.” My fingers shifted the hem of his shirt up over the fastenings at the front of his pants, eager to be closer to my beta mate.
Grey halted my hands’ exploration and held them still. “Really, I’ll be fine for a while longer. You have the coronation tomorrow and much to do. Now is not the time for rash decisions. We don’t know how this will affect the others.”
I looked to my alphas for help, but none were forthcoming. Lex leaned against the wall, stern and impassive, Shadow brooded from the seat he’d stolen, and Ghost watched on with a grim smile. This wasn’t their decision. They’d agreed to wait, but they wouldn’t force Grey to go through with it. Men were so frustrating. I slid away from Grey and flipped over, pressing my face into one of the perfectly placed pillows, and screamed until my lungs burned.
I freed myself of the thick softness that muffled my shout and went on in a calm tone, “I hate this.”
I couldn’t make Grey complete the bond against his will. That wasn’t what I wanted, anyway. My hope was that he’d want this as much as I did, but it seemed that was not the case.
He really didn’t want this. He didn’t want me. There was nothing else I could do.
I exhaled slowly, trying to hold back the sob stuck in my throat.
My mates said this was my choice, but that wasn’t true. It was their decision, too. I just never imagined any of them would decide to say no.
He said no. The tears were coming. My eyes were stinging. Oh no. I took a deep breath and sniffled back the burgeoning tantrum.
This was something I had to get through. “I have one condition.” I paused to gather myself. My eyes drifted to the alphas scattered around the room, then I turned my attention to Grey. “At the first sign of the symptoms worsening, you will finish the bond. I can’t bear the thought of you in danger when I could so easily fix it.” I infused my tone with as much steel as I could muster over the waver, but I wasn’t sure if it had the intended effect.
It was the best I could do.
“Fine. I agree to your terms. Now come here.” He held out his arms for me, and I crawled back into his warmth.