Chapter 12 Andy
Chapter 12
Andy
There’s more to Chi’s outburst tonight than she’s telling me, but as she passes out hard on the drive home and sleeps right through me unclipping her seat belt, I realize that I won’t be getting answers about it right now. And if I don't get any answers tonight, while she’s drunk as hell and more likely to spill some tiny part of her soul to me, I’m probably not going to get anything out of her ever. I think I can guess that it has to do with her future responsibilities in the Yakuza, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.
Still, I’m dying to know what’s bugging her, which is a clear indication to me that whatever is going on between us is strong. I know it’s got some hold on her the way it’s got a hold on me. Our chemistry is insane; just a smoldering look from her sets everything in my body on fire.
But there is something more than that with us. I would never hug a girl who was yelling at me and pushing me away under normal instances, like I did earlier tonight. With Chi, it wasn’t even a choice, but something I really felt I had to do. It bothers me to think I might have overreacted. It bothers me even more that I’m pretty sure Chi was right; I might have been jealous.
I sigh as I pull her up from the car seat. She clings to me without even opening her eyes. I know she’s drunk, but I would expect her to at least open her eyes and look around for a second. I love that she doesn’t. I love that she just puts her arms around me and fits herself right into mine.
This might be a problem. This… whatever it is between us that I’m not ready to face.
I know Chi has these archaic Yakuza commitments around marriage and duty that I'll never be able to fulfill. I can’t follow her around forever. She’s going to be expected to marry and have heirs, and I have a job and a life managing Cas’s organization from the sidelines. Yes, we’re specks of dust in the universe, but people expect us little specks of dust to do things. Things that don’t make a goddamn difference before we die and everyone forgets who we are anyway, but they do expect it. I want Chi to find peace in her decisions, but I know why she feels she can’t take another path. I can’t separate myself from the path I’ve set out, either.
I get her into her bedroom and try to lay her down, but she won’t let me go. She snuggles up so tight that I have to pry her hands off my shirt. The movement wakes her up, and she lets go, seeming embarrassed.
“Are you leaving?” she asks, biting her lip.
I want to stay. Why the fuck do I always want to stay? “I have to, babe. Duty calls.”
She turns red in the cheeks, embarrassed for even asking the question, but to my surprise keeps pushing. “You know, everyone needs to sleep. And bonus, it’s really warm and cozy in this bed with two people in it.”
All that does is remind me that I’m not the first person to sleep in this bed with her, and I won’t be the last. “I have a warm and cozy bed too, Chi. I’m good.”
Her cheeks heat further, but she just shrugs and turns away from me, hugging her pillow. “Suit yourself.” She closes her eyes and turns over, and as much as I don’t want to leave, I know that’s my cue.
“Goodnight Chee-chee.”
There’s no answer, and a moment later, I hear a soft sleep sigh. At least she’s not that broken up about sleeping alone. Hopefully, tomorrow morning, she won’t even remember asking. And she won’t remember me turning her down.
*****
The next day, it’s as though nothing ever happened. Chi is in rare form, as she calls me to her room by contacting the guard house and yelling at one of my men to tell me that she needs me urgently. When I get to her room, she’s dressed in another, far skimpier schoolgirl outfit than the day before, and things devolve quickly into harsh fucking after she reaches into the inner pocket of my jacket, finds the horn-rimmed glasses, and puts them on my face.
She seems restless afterwards. It’s not really my place to question why she might be acting this way, what big events might be happening in her life, or how she feels she has to handle them. The fact is, we have lives and shit to do that don’t include each other. I know her future can’t include me anyway, and honestly, I’m not sure how much space mine has for her either.
It appears that something inside of me has a hard time with these restrictions. As we lie in her bed directly after sex, since she won’t tell me what’s bothering her, a different invasive question pops out of me. “What exactly does Daiki do for your father?”
Her eyes dart to mine and squint in curiosity, likely as to why I’m asking, but she answers anyway. “He’s been my father’s right hand man since my father was fourteen and Daiki was sixteen years old. Now he’s sort of like my father’s counterpart in Japan. That’s why he’s there so often. He comes to America for short trips and stays in Japan for longer durations, and my father stays in America more often with only short stints in Japan. They’ve been friends their entire lives. More like brothers, I think. Which makes sense, because Daiki is like an uncle to me.”
For some reason I don’t understand, those words are like a red-hot poker to my gut. “An uncle? What does he do, send you a $50 check on your birthday?”
She laughs at my joke, but answers honestly. “Way more than that. He’s like family, is what I mean. He helps my father and I make big decisions; he takes care of operations in Japan. He’s the only one besides my father that has any substantial contact with my family there. Probably even more than my father. He’s sort of like what you are to Cas.”
I weigh this in my mind a bit, and although I’m still not sure I fully understand the nature of her relationship with Daiki, I feel a little better about it.
I sigh; it’s time for me to get back to work. “Well, it’s been fun.” I get up and start buttoning my shirt.
“Hit and run, huh? Gosh, what a lady’s man you are.” Chi is obviously joking, of course. It’s just that when she says it, there’s this slight twitch in her half-cocked smile, making it look as though it’s faltering ever-so-slightly.
Something in me tugs on me to stay, but as usual, I ignore it. “You know I always have fun with you, Chee-chee. But I gotta go.”
“Well, my entire purpose in life has been fulfilled now that you’ve had fun. Thank goodness.”
I grab her and pull her closer. “That smart mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble one day, little girl.”
She smiles at me with that one, very slightly prominent incisor, and I just want to suck her mouth into mine again and swallow her whole. God, I want to consume this woman: body, mind, and soul.
“I like trouble,” she breathes into my face.
I give her a scorching kiss, hard and long, and then stand up to leave.
“I’ll be back around nine. If you have another schoolgirl outfit, wear it.”
*****
Despite our heart-to-heart while she was drunk, I can tell Chi’s issues continue to linger, although neither of us bring them up. We fuck during every free moment of our day. The fact that I know something is going on with her is of no importance to either of us. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.
But the lie doesn’t hold me for long. My curiosity gets the better of me. I decide that I need to figure out what the hell is going on in her head. And to do that, I need to figure out what’s going on around her to see what’s causing this big change in attitude.
For as long as I’ve known her — admittedly, not that long — she’s been sweet, but with a fiery side. It occurs to me that while we were at the mansion with Cas and Mara, that might have been because she was traumatized. Still, I’m surprised by this almost hostile change. She’s acting like she’s trying to push her freedom in someone’s face, giving me the most intense sex I’ve ever had in my life and running out after I asked her not to. I don’t think she’s trying to push it into my face, but if she is, it’s fucking working.
Part of my job here includes training the new guys that Akio employs, so I try to busy myself with that to stay occupied. Akio has hired a squad of new guards due to the ongoing mafia war we’re in the middle of, and it feels somewhat overwhelming to test them all. It takes days to interrogate them, and I might be a sick fuck when the situation warrants it, but I don’t love torturing men who have never done anything to deserve it. Some of them stand up to testing, but for every one that gets through it, there are five more that I have to turn loose. And testing them until they break is mentally and physically draining.
I take my frustrations and disappointments out on Chi each night for the next few days, and she lets me. She’s distant, and so am I, trying to figure out what is going on with her and why I care.
One night, during crazy sex, it seems that I’ve somehow ripped my pants. This has happened too much over the past couple of weeks — I’m going to have to make my way to my small safehouse to pick up some more clothes over the next couple of days. I usually like to have some separation from my job and utilize my safehouse often, but I haven’t been there for more than thirty minutes at a time for weeks. Ever since I met Chi, actually.
For now, I’ll make do with what I have here, but tomorrow afternoon I’ll take a break. I’ll stay in my safehouse and get some distance from all of this.
I head over to my small wing on the opposite side of the mansion, and as I pass, I overhear Chi’s father. We didn’t think he’d be home yet, which isn’t that strange because he has a tendency to just pop in and out randomly. I also hear Daiki’s voice though, and I realize I’m dying to know what they’re saying. And for some reason, perhaps since they’re speaking in Japanese, I don’t think they’re going to tell me about it. Those two are secretive as fuck.
It looks like they’ve just gotten back from Japan, and in their haste have forgotten to close the door all the way. I peek through the crack as they speak. “Kanojo wa daijōbudarou, Tomodachi.” She will be okay, my friend.
Daiki puts his hand on Akio’s shoulder — a friendly, gentle gesture. “Kanojo wa keikaku no henkō ga sukide wanai, Aki-chan.” I’m so surprised by the extremely informal nickname he’s used that I nearly forget to process the rest of the sentence into English. She does not like the change of plans, Aki-chan.
“-Chan” is a Japanese honorific, sort of like a surname, used often only for young, childhood friends and more for girls than boys. It’s used sometimes by parents with their children, but often it is an endearment left in childhood, except for extremely close family.
It takes me so long to process the sentence that I only get the tail end of the next. Something about this always being the plan, anyway. I’m sure they’re talking about Chi, but I don’t know what exactly the plan is. I step closer to the door, drawn in by the promise of learning more about the elusive young Yakuza princess I left in her bedroom, but as soon as I put my foot down, Daiki’s ears perk up, his hand falling to his side as he turns toward the door.
I’m sure they can see me, as the door is slightly ajar, so I do the only thing I can think of at the moment, and I knock to make it seem as though I just got there. Now I imagine I have about 10 seconds to come up with something to ask before I look suspicious.
Daiki swings the door open and looks at me skeptically. “Andy-san. What do you need?”
Luckily, I have the kind of brain that comes up with excuses, even fake ones, quickly. “I was just wondering why we have another wave of new recruits to be tested? We don’t really need any more people.”
Daiki’s expression changes from one of skepticism to one of annoyance. “We needed to replace multiple men from the attack two weeks ago.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I feel like bringing on this many new men is just asking for a mole.”
Chi’s father steps in. “Andy, I appreciate your input on this matter, but we’ve heavily vetted each and every man during this process. We have an extremely tight system and don’t take these matters lightly.”
I know why he did it and wasn’t actually planning to bring it up, but in all honesty, it has been bugging me, so I gain steam as we speak about it. “Our system for low-level personnel isn’t as tight as the upper ranks. Anyone can spy, Akio, and there are methods we can explore that we aren’t using. There are other ways to tease information out of people.”
Akio nods, but I know he’s already dismissed the worry. “Thank you for your concern, Andy. It will be noted and considered. Is there anything else?”
“No, sir,” I say quickly, thanking the heavens that I’m getting out of here in one piece after eavesdropping on what sounded like a very private conversation.
“Good. Thank you. You may go now.”
I nod and try not to walk away too quickly. As I leave, I consider what I’ve heard. I think about Chi again. Are they making her do something she doesn’t want to do? I know her future as Yakuza queen will contain many responsibilities, but she’s only 24-years-old. She seems too young to be trusted with them, and yet, a man would have likely been given the same status as Daiki already. I wonder if perhaps more is expected of her behind the scenes than I’ve ever realized.
It hurts my head to consider it all, so I push it away. Chi has her life to live, and so do I.