Chapter 28 Andy
Chapter 28
Andy
Chi and I have a regular night, carefully skirting the topic of what happened earlier.The elephant in the room is that her father knows about the depth of our relationship, and while he hasn’t seemed to forbid it, he’s made it clear in some way that he doesn’t approve. I don’t know how Chi feels about it, but she lets me in and we fuck, so who am I to question it?
But things feel off. There’s some kind of deficiency — a distance between us that I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s in the shortness of her answers, and the fact that she turns her back quicker than usual while we’re lying together before shutting off the lights. But I’ve already told her how I feel about her. I made it clear this morning, and there’s not much more to say. All I can think to do is let her work through this on her own.
I’m in the guard house early the next morning when Akio comes to see me. I can tell from his demeanor, stiff and unyielding, that this will not be a fun conversation. “I must speak with you alone, Andy.” At least he uses my name. It appears that he’s not about to pound me into the ground, so that’s heartening.
I’m further surprised when he leads me out of the guardhouse and into the sunroom off his wing of the mansion. It’s set up with a pot in front of his chair and a steaming cup of coffee in front of mine.
“Have a seat, Andy.”
I follow his order out of respect, even though I know things are about to get weird between the two of us. He steps up to his own, seeming jovial, but doing things a tad too deliberately, pulling out his chair slowly. Checking that the beverages are hot enough. Easing down with exaggerated care into his seat, staring at me the entire time.
I will be respectful, but I won’t be cowed. I stare stolidly back into his gaze.
“You have gotten to know my daughter quite well, haven’t you, Mr. Scutari?”
He’s not pulling any punches. There’s no reason for me to do so, either. He knows his daughter is no virgin angel. Her extracurricular activities are well known to the staff, and it’s clear based on the things he has said to us, to him as well.
“Yes, sir. I take her safety very seriously.”
He nods, inspecting the tiny Japanese tea cakes before him. “Yes, I can tell. A wonderful trait in a guard. Also, a fine trait in a husband.”
I have no idea where he’s going with that, so I stay silent.
“She has been meeting with… how do you Americans say it? ‘Suitors.’ She has had many requests for marriage. She will be heiress to my fortune one day, you know. So, I have been finding her possible husbands that fit the role of protector. And who fit many other roles, too.”
I think I understand what he’s about to say now; I’m relatively certain he is going to compare them to me. My anger is flaring, so although I would never normally speak yet in this conversation, the words fly out of my mouth. “I’m sure the men you’ve been vetting have had the best instruction. But I am willing to bet every last penny I have that none of them have seen action like me. They probably haven’t even been in a common street fight. Not when they’ve had guards like me around them their entire lives.”
Akio’s brows rise, but he doesn’t seem angry, merely motivated. Motivated, perhaps, to show me I’m wrong. “My boy, you know little about what you speak. Two of her suitors have been in the Japan Ground Self-Defense Force, and they have all seen the same violence that you or I have. But they have also lived our culture their entire lives, unlike you.”
I know all of this. Of course I looked up every one of these assholes the moment I found out who she would be meeting with. But if he’s going to try and compare their experiences to mine as if being born into this life earns them some kind of clout I don’t have, he’s sorely mistaken. “I didn’t say none were in the army or have some special titles. Of course they do. That’s how politicians and other higher ups gain a following. But all of their titles are honorary. None of those men have seen the action that their fellow soldiers have. None have even so much as stepped foot into a third world country.”
Akio leans back and waves a hand, as if to knock my assertion away. “Fists and guns are only part of what settles disputes. What’s more important is the mind. Good strategy.”
“With all due respect,” I say quietly — still keeping my calm while simmering inside, “I think I showed that strategy just a few short months ago. I disarmed the man who made his way past your security and blindsided you by shooting you in the back through a window.” This hits below the belt, but he needs to acknowledge that I hold value too, whether or not my words piss him off.
He hisses through his teeth, putting both hands on the table and leaning forward. Surprisingly, he answers my implied jab straight out. “I hired more guards after that. Got a better system. I brought your computer-girl further into my operation, despite my initial reservations. A wise man learns from his mistakes and the mistakes of others.”
“I mean no disrespect, Akio,” I begin, surprising myself with the fact that I truly don’t want to offend him. I can admit that I have learned things working here, and despite myself, even though I don’t like the way Chi feels oppressed under his thumb, I truly like Akio. “I only bring this up to point out that you can’t always use learned skills when you’ve never applied them. If you have real-world experience using them, you are much more likely to wield them well.”
He sits back, truly digesting my words. Although my stomach feels strangely full and uneasy, I take a sip of my black coffee.
“Well, I certainly don’t question your abilities to keep my daughter safe. To keep any of us safe, really. But you understand that this trait, while honorable, is just one of many she will need as her future unfolds.”
Now I’m back to not quite understanding where Akio is going with this. I think he’s trying to point out that I don’t have what it takes to marry her, and I thoroughly agree with him on that. I am unlike any of these rich Japanese men he has brought in, either hiding behind their family name or too hopped up on their own wealth, looks, and power to give Chi more than a passing glance. I again don’t know how to respond. “I’m sure it is,” I say, somewhat lamely.
He nods again, seeming to make a decision. “Good. The reason I have called you here is to make you head of her security in Japan. I’ll pay you double what Casca is paying. She will need someone who can keep up with her over there, and you have shown yourself to be capable of that.”
I am taken entirely off guard by this. I fully expected to be brought into this room, for a gun to be put to my head, and to be kicked out on my ass. Not asked to join Chi for the rest of her life, effectively giving mine up to follow her anywhere she goes.
I take a moment, staring blank faced at Akio’s forehead in contemplation. He waits, looking back at me without emotion.
“May I speak plainly, sir?” I finally ask. If he says no, I’ll have to simply quit.
Luckily, he says, “Yes, Andy-san. In fact, I much prefer you to speak simply than to speak in riddles or repress your meaning.”
I nod in thanks. “You know Chi likes me, which I assume is the reason you’re asking me to go with her. Maybe you believe that I’m more than some passing amusement. But even if I would leave Cas and everything I’ve built here in America, I would never go to Japan as Chi’s side-piece.”
I’m afraid the final word of that sentence will be the last straw, but Akio surprises me again by simply leaning back with a sigh. “I didn’t think you would bite. Which is such a shame. You could have been her champion. Her… Lancelot, if you will. Now you won’t be anything to her.”
I feel the unfamiliar sparks of anger and jealousy stir inside me again, and I try to breathe them away. “Yes, well perhaps you should both look for love as one of those essential traits in a husband that you were talking to me about earlier.”
Akio isn’t angry like I am. I’m sure of it. He still looks back at me with a carefully blank expression. “That is always the hope, of course, Andy-san. But at our level of society, it is not a necessity. It is not essential, no matter how much any of us would like it to be.”
I stay silent again, feeling like this conversation has come to a close. But Akio surprises me yet again with his next words. “I respect your decision, Andy-san. I truly think you are doing what you believe is best. And I think you will understand that my next command is for the best.” He looks me squarely in the eyes, unblinking and stern. “It’s time that you leave my grounds. I will ask Casca for a new head of security, and you will be relieved from your duties here, effective immediately.”
*****
I’m given an hour to collect my things, but instead, I go directly to see Chi. No one stops me, and for some reason, I’m not the least bit surprised by that. In fact, there is likely someone watching the cameras I walk past and actively not stopping me from making my way to Chi’s suite.
She’s not expecting me this early, so I have to wait far too long for her to open her door. “Andy?” she asks, rubbing her eyes. She hates anyone seeing her this way, but she looks like a sleepy little kitten, and my heart feels like molten lava suddenly.
I step inside and close the door behind me. “Hi, Chi.”
She puts her arms around her abdomen self-consciously. “What’s going on?” Why are you here? It’s too early to fuck and watch TV, is what she really means.
“Your father told me to leave.” I let the words drop out of my mouth and hang in the air between us as she freezes, slowly digesting them.
Finally, she takes a steadying breath in and out. “Do you think it was because of yesterday?” she asks, concern bleeding from her expression even as she tries to hide it.
“No. I think it was because I didn’t say what he wanted me to say when he asked me to go to Japan and be your bodyguard for the rest of my life.”
She takes a sharp breath in. “Oh my god,” she whispers, stunned.
“I think it’s safe to say he knows about us. And I don’t mean the fucking, because obviously. I mean… all of it.”
She sits gingerly on the bed before looking up at me. “What are we gonna do?”
It’s a great question. I have no idea what comes next, either.
I just stare at her, so she continues. “Well, what do you think my father wanted? For us to stop seeing each other?”
I laugh without humor. “Yeah, I was getting that feeling.”
She looks up at me with quiet intensity. “So… you said no to his request.”
She already knows the answer. We both agreed that it would have to end sometime, and I have my job, Cas, and all of my responsibilities here.
I hesitate. Chi is too serious to be kidding, but would she really ask me to leave everything here and go to Japan just to be with her?
“Of course you said no,” she says quickly, her eyes drifting away from mine.
“Chi, I can’t… I mean, this is my life. I can’t—”
“No, yeah, I know. I just… thought maybe you’d like to see Japan for a bit. I bet you’ve never been there.”
“I’ve never been there, no,” I say, and although she looks away, I stare straight at the top of her head until she looks at me again. “I know you’re a billionaire, but I also have a stupid amount of money, Chi. I can go if I want to.”
She sighs in defeat, looking back down at the floor.
“I gotta go, Chi.”
She keeps her head down, faintly nodding.
I turn to leave and something grips my insides and holds tight. I don’t think it’ll ever stop. But why? Chi will still be here for months. I could see her. It’s not like she can’t leave her house. But something tells me I won’t. Something tells me if I leave, whatever we’ve been doing is over. That should be fine, right? I ask myself. I knew this would happen. Chi knew this would happen. There’s no reason to consider any other outcome or delay the inevitable anymore.
“Andy.” I stop at the door and turn back around. She looks up at me, and the hurt on her face is too much to bear. She never shows me this. And I know in that moment that she feels the same way that I’m feeling right now, but for the life of me, I don’t know what to do. So, I do the only thing I can think of.
I close the space between us and grab her face. “Don’t look at me like that, Chee-chee,” I say softly.
“We’re nothing but dust, floating around the universe. Right, Andy?”
I sink down onto the bed and pull her closer to me, sighing into her shoulder. “Yeah. So what are you saying? You want to run off? Leave your father and all of this? And… and then what?”
She shakes her head. “I guess we’re more than dust. Because I can’t just leave. And neither can you.”
A tear drops onto her cheek, and I lift her chin to look up at me. “Yeah. I guess. But I still don’t want you to cry.”
“I might not cry if you came with me. But honestly…” she takes a shuddering breath in and another tear drops from her eye, “I’d probably still cry.”
I hug her as my insides clench painfully. “I know.”
Suddenly, she pushes me away and wipes her face. “Okay. Party’s over, I guess. It was bound to end eventually, right?”
I hate the crying, but I hate this more. Yet I know it’s just Chi’s coping mechanism kicking in and that I need to leave it alone and get the fuck out of here. Not only for her, either. For myself. Right now, we’re in a dead draw; there is no realistic way for either of us to win in this situation. I don’t think either of us really wants to anyway, if it’s at the expense of the other. So I need to bow out now, before I make things worse.
“I’ll be around, Chi.” I turn around and head to the door faster this time, praying that she won’t call me back in. Luckily for me, she doesn’t.