Chapter 10 The Morning After
Chapter Ten
The Morning After
Rivka
The sun beamed through a crack in the partially drawn curtains.
Rivka blinked her eyes, trying to clear the grit in them to no avail.
Her entire body felt heavy. Why is everything so bright?
! Groaning and disoriented, she turned onto her side, her body protesting the movement.
She slit her eyelids open a fraction, and light brown eyes met hers just inches away.
Gasping, she instinctively scrambled backwards.
“Whoa, Whoa! It’s just me, my darling. You are safe.” Ellis soothed, holding his hands up in a show of peace.
“You frightened me to death, El! You know I hate that!”, Rivka exclaimed, clutching at the blankets. “Why were you staring at me like that? What happened last night? I don’t even remember how I got to bed.”
“Apparently, you got wasted. You are lucky that it was I that found you and not someone with much more nefarious intentions.”, Ellis stated holding a mug out to her. “Drink this. You know it will help you feel normal again. We have much to do today and no time to nurse a hangover.”
Rivka stared at Ellis in disbelief. There was no way she was drunk last night.
She never even sipped the wine or ale offered at these balls and she certainly wouldn’t here.
The Rune Province wasn’t exactly the place to let your guard down, let alone drink whatever poison they may try to serve you.
The blanket covering Rivka fell as she sat up and took the mug from Ellis.
“Dear Gods, Ellis, where are my clothes?” She clutched the blanket to her chest. “I didn’t drink last night.
At all. You were right there with me! The last thing I remember is using the washroom and… ”
She trailed off, not sure what she did after that. It was all a jumbled mess of sensations. Rivka raised the cup to her lips and took a drink.
Wait, why are my lips swollen?
“My darling, you left to use the washroom and didn’t return.
I saw McConnell without you and thought you’d snuck away.
But you were most definitely drunk. When I found you, you were staggering around the halls half-dressed and giggling like a prepubescent schoolgirl.
” Ellis chuckled, trying to hide his amusement.
Regaining his control, he continued, “I don’t know what you did after you left Tristan and I in the ballroom, but when I found you some time later, you were alone. ”
Rivka’s eyes widened. Flashes of the night before coming back to her.
Hands, big hands, cupping her breasts. Her head thrown back in ecstasy…
but it was fuzzy, like she was seeing the scene through a fog.
The feeling though, that was less fuzzy, and the tenderness in her most intimate places, left no question.
I had sex last night. No, wait, not just sex but sex with a MAN!
“Oh, Gods. Oh, Gods!” She blushed, her face going scarlet. Rivka’s eyes flew to Ellis’.
“We di-we didn’t have-Oh, GODS! DID WE…” She stammered, barely able to form the words.
Throwing back his head, Ellis laughed. “Oh, honey, I love you, but no, just…no.”
His laughter died as he took in the look of horror that must have shown on her face. Guilt flashed in his eyes as he sobered.
“Riv, you know that I can’t…we’ve tried, and it’s never…worked.”
Rivka’s shoulders fell. “Then who…?”
“Who what Riv? Did something happen? I’ve been with you all night. Please tell me so that I can help.” He reached out to touch her, but she flinched away, immediately feeling shame for the hurt she saw in his face. She could never feel afraid of Ellis. He was her foundation.
Her head pounded the harder she pushed to remember. She had obviously been with a man last night. The tell-tale signs on her body confirmed that, but if not Ellis…then who? How had she lost control so completely that she couldn’t remember anything?
“You said you found me in the corridor alone?” Her voice shook.
“Yes, and I tried to help you into your night clothes, but you just kept ripping at your dress, stumbling around, and giggling about there being too many layers.”
“I need you.” His voice. She heard it inside her head, clear and immediately recognizable.
Rivka froze at the words, nausea raging through her as the full memory of the night before hit her. The force of the onslaught had Tristan’s face swimming in front of her eyes.
“I’m going to be sick.” A choked sob ripped from her lips, the blankets still clutched to her chest tight with her free hand, her other had a death grip on the mug. Her stomach roiled, her heart thundered in her chest.
No, no, no, she repeated the words over in her mind. Ellis sat on the edge of the bed, prying the cup from her fingers and placing it on the bedside table. He gathered her in his arms, gently rocking her.
Ellis’ voice stayed calm and soothing. “Talk to me, my love. What’s wrong?
” He gently caressed her back, waiting patiently for her response.
Rivka sobbed harder, wrapping her arms around him.
They sat like this for several long moments.
Ellis didn’t press. Rivka’s voice came out softer than a whisper, filled with regret and mortification, “I remember it all. How could I?”
Before Rivka could begin to explain, Ellis motioned to the door, silently reminding her that their voices would carry to the ears on the other side. They didn’t usually take that kind of risk, even with the Queen’s Guard’s oath, but her pain was too great this time to care.
The words tumbled out in an unrelenting storm. It was as if she had to purge it from her mind somehow, like the act of speaking it out loud might absolve her of her sins. She couldn’t look him in the eyes, couldn’t face the disappointment, the hurt, the…disgust. What she didn’t expect was the fury.
When she was finished, and there was nothing left to tell, Ellis gently pulled his arms away from her and stood next to the bed.
Never in the entirety of the years she had known this man had she seen him burn like this.
“Ellis, I swear I don’t know how it happened.
I would NEVER. You know this”, she pleaded.
Ellis didn’t respond to her words. He merely leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. She grabbed his arm as he turned away. “Please, El, I don’t know what to do.”
“Stay here,” he simply replied, prying his hand from her grip, already moving to the door.
Rivka floated in her own mind, spinning through the thoughts and events, ignoring her sensitive nipples and the soreness between her thighs as best she could.
She needed to bathe, to get the feeling of his hands off her skin.
A shudder rocked through her. How had this happened?
She had never taken so much as a sip or bite of food.
There was no way for her to be drunk. She had only gone to the washroom; she hadn’t even seen anyone but him.
The tears started flowing again unabated. She had to move, to wash the memories of last night away. She staggered towards the washroom adjoining their bedchamber. The tub was already filled with hot water, scented oils, and soaps on a table nearby.
Ellis thought of everything. She thought, sobbing harder.
This seemed to be happening to someone else, and she was just a bystander.
Thoughts frantically raced through her mind.
Tristan had never made a single move towards her, had never hinted, he hadn’t so much as given her a second look.
It didn’t make sense, not even in the wildest realms would this have happened, but somehow, it had.
Rivka really did vomit then, purging herself until only bile came up.
Her stomach muscles clenched as the spasms quaked through her.
It didn’t help. The feeling of revulsion still clung to her.
She pulled herself into the tub, the water warm and welcoming. Tears continued to fall as she sank into the comforting, fragrant pool. A name pierced through the haze of memories flooding her mind.
RIA.
How would she ever explain this? How could she? She didn’t even know how it had happened. She needed to go home. Ellis, she needed him as well, if he would even speak with her. How had this happened to her? How would she ever move forward?
Rivka submerged her head under the water, trying to wash away the feeling of filth consuming her.
No matter how hard she scrubbed, she could still feel his touch, could smell his scent on her skin.
She grabbed the small vial of fragrant oil and dumped it in the water in its entirety.
When that didn’t seem to ease the panic seizing her, she grabbed the soap and began to lather her skin, praying that the physical pain would outweigh the pain sitting in her chest.