Chapter 12 Confrontations And Consequences
Chapter Twelve
Confrontations And Consequences
Alex
Alex had been up for twenty seven hours straight.
She was beyond bone weary, yet she couldn’t sleep even if she tried.
Every time her eyes closed, she saw Rivka writhing on top of Tristan.
Her thoughts ran wild. Conjuring every scenario that she didn’t want to see or think about.
She was shattering her own heart, and there was no way of preventing it.
Stop it. You’re being foolish. It does no good to dwell. You knew this could never last. It could never be real.
The crushing heaviness of betrayal weighed each step the closer she got to Rivka’s door.
The corridor suddenly seemed too short. She knew she had to do this, that she had to see her, at least one last time.
She would put in for a transfer to another post as soon as she could.
It was cowardly to leave her post but she knew, as strong as she was, she could not withstand the pain she would have to endure bearing witness to the woman she loved entertaining a man she loathed.
She would have to find her replacement first. Colin was an idiot and she hated to see him take her place but maybe it would work temporarily, until she could possibly convince Andrew to take the job.
He would never have let Rivka out of his sight for a moment, his loyalty and trust were more important to him than anything else.
She knew Colin tried, but to be the best at this job, you had to know how to put the queen’s life above all else, and she didn’t trust Colin to do that.
He had proven that too many times to count.
Before she was ready, Rivka’s door came into view. Captain Andrew Wright, standing guard since she had suspended Colin the night before, nodded slightly in her direction. “Captain. Good morning. Here to relieve me of my duties?”
“No, not at this time. I have a few more things that need my attention before we start the journey home. If you need to be relieved, I can look into sending someone else though.”
“No, that won’t be necessary. I can continue if that is what’s required of me.” Lifting his hand, Andrew rapped on the door three times in quick succession. No response came from within the room.
Alex moved to push through the doors, pausing at the last moment, turning her head to look at Andrew. “Do you remember your oath? The one you took in order to be assigned as an alternate to this position?”
“Of course.”
Alex raised an eyebrow at him, “Well then?”
“Um…” Andrew nervously cleared his throat, clearly not sure where Alex was going with this. “The entire thing or…?”
“The entire thing, Captain.”
Blowing out a long breath, he began,
“I solemnly swear fealty to Her Majesty, my sovereign and queen. With blade and breath, with heart and hand, I pledge my life to her service. I shall be her shield in shadow, her sword in peril, and her safeguard of secrets. No treachery shall pass while I draw breath, no harm shall befall her under my watch. By honor unbroken and unwavering loyalty, I vow to guard her person, obey her command, and stand steadfast in storm and sun, in peace and war, until my final days.”
Alex was impressed but not surprised that Andrew remembered his oath line for line. It was just who he was. He hadn’t missed one word. “You will do well to continue to remember those words for the queen's safety, and your own.”
With that, Alex gave Andrew a small nod of respect and entered her queen’s bedchambers.
Her scent filled the air, and a fresh pang of torture ripped through her heart.
Rivka wasn’t in the main section of her chambers, but Alex could hear soft, muffled sounds coming from the washroom.
Her feet moved that direction on their own, drawn to the sound and scent of familiarity.
Rivka sat on a bench, wrapped in a towel, crying softly.
Her hair was still dripping from her bath, her skin red and raw as if she had tried to scrub it off.
Pulling up short, Alex stopped. She could only stare.
This was the woman she loved, and she was obviously hurting.
The sight of Rivka’s tears pushed the hurt and anger back a notch.
Was this guilt, or did something else happen?
“Are you hurt? Did something happen?” Alex asked but didn't approach further.
Gasping, Rivka jumped up, almost dropping her towel.
“I knocked but you didn’t answer, I was afraid I may have been…interrupting something.”
“No need to apologize. There is no one here but me.”
Alex kept her face a blank canvas, not a drop of emotion showing through. A look she reserved only for battlefields, but had never directed at Rivka.
They stood, staring at each other for a moment, seemingly unsure of what to say next.
Neither making a move towards the other.
Alex never missed an opportunity to sweep Rivka into her arms but not this time.
She kept her distance, both physically and emotionally.
It was obvious to both of them that there was a cavernous pit of unspoken confessions waiting to engulf them.
“Is everything ok?” Rivka asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“In what sense of the word? Nothing is okay, but everything must be okay.”
“I’m not sure that I quite understand what you mean.” Rivka’s tone was full of uncertainty.
“I think you do. You know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t make me say it, Riv.”
The color slowly drained from Rivka’s face. “Why, Riv? How could you? What can you possibly say that could excuse what you’ve done?” Alex’s voice broke on the last word.
Rivka’s chest collapsed. “How did you find out? Did Ellis tell you?”
Alex’s eyes flashed, the anger undeniable. Ellis knew? Ellis KNEW!? How long have they played me the fool? Was I always meant to simply be her placeholder until she moved on to someone else?
“Ellis didn’t tell me anything, Rivka. I saw you fucking him with my own eyes.”
“You saw me… us, I mean?” Rivka whispered in stunned horror.
“It isn’t what you are thinking! I didn’t sleep with him knowingly! I didn’t even remember it. I must have been drunk and…”
“You weren’t drunk. You never drink. At least take responsibility for your actions, your choices.” Alex cut her off, the last word coming out more bitter than she intended.
Rivka started crying again. “Why can’t you believe me?
” She raised her arm like she wanted to touch her, but the look on Alex’s face had her dropping her hand.
“I swear it! I have no idea how we wound up together! I didn’t remember anything past going to the washroom and then waking up this morning in my own bed! ”
“I find it hard to believe, Riv, that you had zero memory of having sex with that man. He was inside you!” Alex was vibrating from trying to keep her emotions in control. “And you seemed to be enjoying every second of it.”
Rivka just stood there, pinned still by the force of Alex’s words, with tears staining her face.
Alex couldn’t believe her… her hurt was too great, her anger all-consuming.
Rivka began shivering, almost as if she were going into shock.
Her skin was pale against her dark hair.
It took all of Alex’s willpower not to offer any comfort.
Her love was blind to the fresh betrayal and it reached out to quell the pain plainly coursing through Rivka.
Reaching behind her, Rivka grabbed her robe, letting go of her wet towel, sliding her arms into the sleeves. Alex spun around quickly so that her back was fully to her.
“Did you really just turn your back to me, Alex?”
There was a long pause, where only their breaths cut through the silence, before Alex finally spoke, her voice tortured.
“It's not my place anymore. I knew it was only a matter of time. I could never give you what you need. My soul was yours from the moment our lips touched, but I guess I never realized how one-sided and trivial my heart was to you.”
“Ria, ple…”
Alex’s hurt and anger poured off of her as she whipped back around to face Rivka.
“Do not call me that. Not anymore.”
Rivka didn’t move. Alex could see how her words eviscerated her completely.
“I was never meant to love you, but the fall happened anyway, and now I pay the price of a fool. I was deceived into believing I meant anything to you. I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t be near you right now.”
Alex continued, standing up straighter, locking her arms at her sides. “I’m putting in for a transfer to the recovery battalions. I will stay until I can secure a proper replacement and tie up any tasks that I have. Don’t worry, I won’t neglect my oath-bound duties.”
The words resounded through the room, hollow and empty. The finality in them ripping them apart. Rivka took a step toward her.
“Alex, please, don’t do this.”
Alex took a step away, holding up her hands.
“It has to be this way, Rivka. It was always going to end this way.”
“Why? Why can’t we just work this out? I swear I.. I didn’t mean…I can’t live without you, Alex.” Rivka sobbed, dropping to the floor.
Alex watched her for a moment, holding back the tears that threatened to fall at the sight of Rivka begging her. Her. She was begging for her. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be; this is just one more facade in her game.
“You should have thought of that before you decided to sleep with Tristan. There is no forgiveness for this.” Alex hated the words she spoke, hated to see her queen on her knees, but she would not be someone's tool, someone’s doormat, not even a queen’s.
Taking in the face of the woman she loved, the woman who kept her world moving, she could only take a deep breath and turn before she lost the ability to do even that.
Alex strode away, back into the corridor, not even daring to look at Andrew, as he had undoubtedly heard everything.
She kept going, passing door after door, until she was finally outside.
Taking a huge gulp of air, she leaned back against the stone of the palace, staring straight, unseeing.
Letting her eyes fall closed, she breathed deep, trying to calm her racing heart.
Gods this hurt like hell. Was there a way to recover from this?
A single tear traced its way down her cheek.
Alex hastily swiped it away, refusing to give in to the looming darkness and pain that threatened.
Straightening, she pulled her shoulders back and started walking toward the stables to ensure that their horses were ready for their departure.
She would make a point to have Andrew ride with their queen.
Alex would ride with the supply wagons and would no longer accompany Rivka on her travels.
That assignment would be someone else's now. She was no longer the queen's guard.
Ellis
Ellis hurried back to their bedchamber. Hopefully Rivka was ready to go.
They couldn’t stay any longer. She wasn’t safe here, none of them were.
Vivian and Luther, spells, it was all too much to comprehend.
One moment at a time, he had to focus on the next move and ensuring the safety and security of his family.
Racing past Captain Wright, he didn’t even stop to knock.
He wasn’t prepared for the ruined face of his queen, leaning against the side of her bed, still in her robe, her unbrushed hair knotted and forgotten.
Ellis knew they had to move but in her state, there was no way they could leave just yet. Approaching her slowly, as you would a wounded animal, Ellis gently knelt before her. His fingers lifted to her cheek, feeling the skin still damp from her tears.
“My dear, what has happened?”
Rivka could barely utter the words. “She’s gone. My Ria, she left me.”
Realization hit Ellis like a bomb. While he was interrogating Tristan, Alex must’ve come back to talk to Rivka. But wait, how could she know?
Enveloping her in his arms, he pulled her into his lap on the floor, as she continued to weep. He would deal with Alex and how she managed to find out later. For now, he needed to tell Rivka about Vivian. They needed to leave this snake pit and get back to their home province.
“Shhhhh, darling. It’ll be alright.” He cooed, stroking her hair.
“No, it won’t.” Rivka hiccuped. “You didn’t see her, El. She was stoic. She said she couldn’t do this anymore. She doesn’t want me anymore.” She murmured the last part, barely a whisper.
Ellis sat quietly rocking her, letting her cry it out.
When her sobs subsided again, he brushed the hair back from her face.
“Rivka, darling. There is much I need to explain, but not enough time, so you must trust me that my words are true and that I will explain further as soon as we are home.” Rivka looked up at his words and nodded.
He knew that she trusted him with her life, with more than her life.
He had never and would never let her down, or … leave.
With that, Ellis began speaking, telling her of his pursuit of Tristan, which she tensed at, probably in fear that Ellis would be arrested for murdering the man.
She’s really not wrong to think that way; he did have increasingly murderous thoughts when he left their bedchambers this morning.
He told her of how he had unexpectedly eavesdropped on a conversation between Tristan and Vivian and his confusion at Tristan’s anger.
He spoke of the spell Vivian had berated Luther about, and finally, his oddly illuminating and honest talk with Tristan.
There was more he needed to say, more that he left out but the important parts were there.
He simply needed her to see the danger they were in and the imminent need to depart.
The look she gave him when he finished was enough of a confirmation.
No more tears. Not now. Later, after they were home, more would surface.
For now, she needed to be Queen Rivka Varon, not a lover or a friend.
Silently, they stood, and Ellis went to her armoire and pulled out her riding clothes.
She took them without a word and left to change, while Ellis filled their trunks. They were going home.