Chapter 33
LUKE
I’m in the interview zone after qualifying at Monza. The whole session was chaotic, with heavy rain moving in and everyone pushing hard in the difficult conditions.
We’re the only team with both drivers in the top ten, so considering the session, we were among the luckier ones.
It also gave me extra satisfaction that Peter’s team made a mistake by sending him out on slick tires just as the rain started, ending his qualifying before it really began.
He will start at the back of the grid.
I’m finishing up my last interview and heading toward the Star News spot.
I just need to see her, even if it’s from afar.
I feel like I’ve crossed into obsession and stalking territory at this point, but I don’t care.
The only times I feel alive are when I see Jessica. At yesterday’s press conference, I felt my heart pounding when I saw her and heard her voice.
Once again, she proved just how perfect she is for this world as a reporter. She’s bright and to the point, and all I wanted to do afterward was track her down and tell her how incredible she is.
But I stayed away, staying true to my promise that I will let her pursue her dream, even if my control is slipping away little by little, pushing me to desperate actions like stalking.
I freeze in my tracks when I see her interviewing Peter, and even worse, laughing at him with the biggest smile on her face.
He looks smug, and that irritates me even more, knowing he just had a terrible qualifying, but apparently still has the wits to try and charm my girl.
Who isn’t my girl anymore, but still.
I know Jessica is just doing her job, but it doesn’t stop the jealousy surging through me.
Seeing her all smiley and carefree around him makes my blood boil.
When she interviewed me, she would almost become stiff, worried that someone might suspect anything, and now she’s all smiles with Peter.
I turn around and stalk toward my car, getting as far away as possible.
When I return to my hotel, Sebastian is finally back. He left me in my hotel room two days ago and didn’t come back. I have no idea where he went, but he’s leaving after the race tomorrow, so I’ll try to lighten my mood for his sake and have a good time as long as he’s here.
“I thought you’d left me for good,” I say as I go to the fridge to get a bottle of water.
“Yeah, I’m considering might doing that, maybe stealing your girl on my way as well.” I stop and look over at him.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I went to see Jessica yesterday, and I believe I’ve told you a hundred times already, but damn dude, what a fucking idiot you are,” he says, leaving me with more questions than answers.
“You went to see Jessica? How? Why?” I can tell he’s enjoying my misery and takes his sweet time before explaining.
“Well, I figured I’d go meet the woman who owns your heart, and you’re right, she’s quite spectacular. Doesn’t have eyes for anyone else, though, that’s for sure.” He tells me, and I motion for him to elaborate.
“I turned on the Sebastian charm, you know how that usually gets the ladies going, but she only looked at me as a cute little dork, and her eyes were constantly searching around the paddock, almost like she was looking for something, or someone,” He tells me, and part of me is relieved that Jessica wasn’t charmed by Sebastian.
Even if he did it just to mess with me, I’m still relieved his charms didn’t win her over.
“On a serious note, Luke, I really think you should try to get her back before it’s too late. You’re obviously in love with her, so why not give it a chance?”
I think over what he just said and don’t bother denying it.
I am in love with her, have been for a while.
I tell him about what I just saw in the paddock between Jessica and Peter, and how she always seemed hesitant around me when the cameras were rolling. With Peter, she seemed more carefree and not as rigid.
“Well, duh, she’s probably in love with your idiot ass, too, and was worried about how everyone would react if they found out. But didn’t you tell me she was planning on attending the gala with you? That means she was ready to take that risk with you.”
Once again, Sebastian is right, and I ask him when he became a relationship expert. He just shakes his head and mumbles,
“Only when it doesn’t apply to myself.”
◆◆◆
It’s race day, and I’ve decided that as soon as I cross the finish line, I will hunt down Jessica and tell her how I feel.
Then she can decide for herself if she’ll have me or not.
Selfish or not, I can’t continue like this. I have to be honest with her and tell her my reasoning for breaking up with her.
The least I can do is be honest with her. Part of me is almost hoping someone crashes into me in the first corner, ending my race early so I’ll get to Jessica faster, but the other, more rational part of me knows that I have a job to do.
I have a championship to fight for before I fight for my girl.
I thought about finding her before the race, but figured it would be better to have this talk afterward.
I’m pulling on my helmet just as Andrea walks up to me.
“Hi Luke, all ready for the race?” Andrea asks me.
“As ready as I can be,” I tell her before putting on my helmet. I’m still a little annoyed at her for putting me in this position in the first place.
“Great. Good luck out there!” she calls after me.
If she hadn’t gotten involved, I probably wouldn’t have broken up with Jessica.
Still, I try to remind myself she meant well and that I shouldn’t hold it against her.
She raised some valid concerns, and when Jessica thinks them over, she might not even want me back on the same terms I had when I broke things off.
Still, I have to try.
I may have lost some time with her, but hopefully I’ll get her back, and I can still make things right.
I finish gearing up and get in the car, ready to race.
The weather forecast is uncertain, and as in qualifying, the rain starts about halfway through, shifting the focus to strategy.
I’m called into the pits, and when I return to the track, it’s clear the team made the right call as I quickly catch up to the cars on the slick tires.
They’re slipping around the track, making it hard to control the car.
When the rest of the grid realizes their mistake, they all go into the pits for intermediate tires. I become the new race leader, and when I cross the finish line to another win, I feel ecstatic.
A race win brings more media attention and extra time in the paddock before you’re finally off the hook, but I’m still buzzing with excitement from the win and the fact that I’m going to find Jessica and fight for her.
I haven’t decided on my strategy, and I haven’t really had the time to plan a grand gesture, but hopefully she’ll hear me out and I can show her how sorry I am for many days to come.
Just as I’m finishing up my last interview, I see Jessica together with another driver, wearing yet another breathtaking smile. They’re finishing up a clip for their social media, which I’ve been following like the love-struck puppy that I am.
It’s been the closest I’ve come to seeing her face and feeling like I’ve been connecting with her in some way, and seeing her growth has made me even prouder of her.
As she posts more, it’s clear that she’s becoming more comfortable in front of the camera. The numbers their accounts are pulling are also impressive.
Right now, I’m angry at myself for wasting so much time trying to get my head straight.
I’m mad at her for being so generous with her beautiful smile, which makes me feel enraged, even without trying.
When the driver finally leaves, I stalk up to her, gently grab her arm, and drag her behind a wall for some privacy.
“Got a minute, princess?” I wasn’t planning on showing up with anger in my veins, but I’m at a breaking point.
I need some of her time, and my patience is hanging by a thread from seeing her so careless around the other drivers.
“First of all, I’m not your princess; you made sure of that. Secondly, no, I don’t have a minute, especially not for you.”
She starts to turn around, and she’s matching my temper, which is good.
She’s hopefully experiencing the same feelings as me.
Sadness. Anger. Hurt. Pain. Hope.
“Huh, would think that a reporter like yourself would take the time out of your day to interview the driver who just won another race.”
That does the trick; she turns around with anger written all over her.
“Don’t you fucking dare come here and say something like that after everything you’ve put me through!
Do you know how hard it is to see you everywhere?
Everyone is talking about the great Luke Hastings, when all I can feel is how you ripped my fucking heart out of my chest.” She’s closer now and breathing hard, looking at me with so much anger and hurt in her eyes.
“Jessica, I’ve been so fucking stupid, and I’m sorry.
My agent cornered me with pictures of us kissing, and she told me that a relationship between us could only result in your dreams being crushed, that your career as a reporter would be over before it even started, and I panicked.
I didn’t want to stand in the way of your dreams, even if it devastated me to walk away. ”
I get it all out in one breath, desperate to make her see that I had my reasons.
I didn’t break her heart without a cause.
Some of her anger melts away, but she quickly gathers herself again.
“And you thought that deciding what’s best for us was just that you took the choice away from me? Luke, I was ready to take that risk with you, and you just turned your back on us like nothing.” Her voice breaks at the end of her sentence, and I grab her hands in mine.
“Baby girl, I’m so sorry, and I know I don’t deserve you, but hell, I can’t go another day without at least letting you know and telling the truth.
Turning my back on you was a huge mistake, and I want to make it up to you if you’ll give me a chance.
” Her gaze holds so much pain but also hope as she stands in front of me, holding the key to my heart.
She gives me a small smile.
“I don’t know, Luke, I’ve kind of been getting to know Peter, and he seems—” I don’t let her finish that sentence by pressing my lips hard to hers.
When she sighs and kisses me back with the same passion, I feel my world slowly coming back together.
It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, making it easier to breathe. I circle my arms around her and hold her tight against me.
Her hands grip my shirt, and she holds on to me like she’s afraid I’ll fly away.
We break apart, and I rest my forehead against hers.
“Fucking Peter. Please don’t ever mention his name again,” I say, and she smirks up at me.
“I was hoping his name would trigger some action, glad I was right,” she tells me before pressing her lips to mine again.
I can’t help but chuckle at her.
Of course, she would use him to push me past my breaking point.
I can’t even be mad about it, knowing that she knows all the right buttons to push.
“Did you dance with him at the gala for the same reason?” I ask her as I tangle my hands in her hair. She gives me the most innocent eyes, looking smug as hell, before she lifts her shoulders.
“Maybe.” I kiss her again, and she meets me halfway.
“There will be no more dancing with him, or any other driver for that matter,” I tell her sternly, half-serious, half-joking.
“As I’ve always told you, I only have eyes for one driver.”