Chapter 15 I Don’t Want to Lose You Again
Stella's expression softened with concern. “Are you not drunk? Do you feel dizzy?”
The concern in her eyes immediately softened Lucius's expression.
He simply looked at her for a moment.
He had spent an entire year without her, a year that had felt longer than ten years to him. Now she was standing in front of him, worrying about him, her eyes filled with genuine concern.
The simple tenderness of it made him happier than he could put into words.
A warm smile touched his lips.
“I’m fine, darling.” He pointed to his mouth. “Can you give me a kiss?”
Stella's lips parted slightly.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. She hesitated for a moment, then rose onto her tiptoes and leaned toward him.
She kissed him softly on the mouth.
It lasted only a moment before she pulled back.
Lucius looked at her, the softness in his eyes never disappearing.
“That’s not enough,” he complained.
Stella smiled and tilted her head to the side, a few strands of hair sliding over her shoulder.
“You’re not really drunk, are you?”
Lucius looked down at her, one eyebrow lifting.
“What do you think?”
She grinned.
He was drunk, but he wasn't so drunk that he didn't know what he was doing.
Seeing him like this made something inside Stella soften even more.
There was something almost adorable about the way he behaved when he drank, especially when all that affection was directed at her.
His usual serious expression had softened, and the warmth in his eyes made it clear just how much he loved her.
The sight made her heart ache.
She rose onto her tiptoes again and leaned toward him, kissing one cheek and then the other.
A smile immediately brightened Lucius's face.
As she pulled away, he lifted both hands and held her face between his palms. His eyes moved over her features, lingering on her face as though he wanted to take in every detail, his thumbs resting against her cheeks.
“I love you, Stella,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “More than you’ll ever understand. There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do for you. Even if you asked me to lay down my life for you, I would do it without a single regret.”
Stella froze.
It was the first time he had ever said 'I love you’ to her.
Her heart seemed to stumble in her chest, and for a moment, she could barely breathe.
“I love you, darling,” he repeated.
Her eyes softened.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
Lucius leaned forward and kissed her.
This time, it wasn't the light kiss she had given him. His kiss was warmer, deeper, and far more intense than she had expected. He drew her closer, his hands holding her securely as his mouth moved over hers again and again until she was left breathless.
When she could no longer catch her breath, Stella finally pulled away.
“Let’s go home,” she whispered.
Lucius didn't look pleased by the suggestion. His expression made it clear that he wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her.
But Stella stepped back and glanced around the corridor.
There was no privacy. The sounds of waiters moving through the restaurant echoed nearby, and the thought of someone walking in on them made her uncomfortable.
Lucius noticed the change in her expression.
For once, he didn't argue.
He bent his head and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth.
“Okay,” he murmured. “Then let’s go home.”
Before she could respond, he kissed her once more, as though he couldn't resist stealing one last kiss before taking her hand.
He led her out of the restaurant.
They had barely reached the entrance when Nial, who was waiting outside, saw them approaching. He immediately stepped forward and opened the car door for Stella.
She climbed inside, followed by Lucius.
The ride home was quiet, but Lucius never released her hand. His fingers remained intertwined with hers the entire way, his grip secure and possessive, as though he still couldn't quite believe she was beside him again.
When they arrived home, he released her hand only long enough to step out first. He then turned and offered her his hand, helping her from the car before following her inside.
The moment the front door closed behind them, Lucius moved toward her.
Stella barely had time to turn before her back met the door.
The house was dimly lit by a few lamps, their soft glow stretching across the quiet rooms. With no maids around, the entire house was silent, leaving only the two of them in the stillness.
Lucius looked down at her, his gaze dark with longing.
Then he kissed her again.
His kisses were hungry and filled with all the emotion he had been carrying for the past year. He pulled her closer, his affection becoming more intense with every kiss until Stella found herself trembling in his arms.
The overwhelming rush of emotion left her struggling to catch her breath.
She finally broke away and placed both hands against his shoulders.
“Please slow down,” she whispered.
Lucius stared at her for a long moment, his chest rising and falling heavily as he struggled to steady himself. His eyes stayed on her face, taking in every expression as though he needed to make sure she was really there.
Gradually, he reined himself in. Without saying a word, he slipped an arm around her waist and lifted her into his arms.
Stella instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, settling against him as he carried her toward their bedroom.
He didn't stop until they reached the room.
Lucius carried her farther inside, toward the glass railing that overlooked the grounds. Beyond it, the dark landscape stretched into the distance, the trees disappearing into the night.
He set her down against the railing and bent his head, his mouth moving over her shoulder and neck in a rush of hungry kisses, bites, and licks. Everything else seemed to disappear around them.
By the time morning came, Stella was exhausted.
The sun had only just begun to rise, casting a faint golden glow across the bedroom. She lay against Lucius’s chest, barely able to keep her eyes open after the long night in his arms.
Lucius lay beside her, turned toward her. Their faces were only inches apart as he quietly watched her sleep.
His hand moved over her face, brushing her hair away and tracing her features with a tenderness that made her feel as though she were something precious he was afraid to lose.
He had spent so long without her.
Now that she was beside him again, he wanted to hold on to her for as long as he could.
Stella’s eyes slowly opened.
Lucius met her gaze and spoke softly.
“Stella, can I be your husband?”
She blinked, still caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.
“I want to marry you.”
She stared at him, surprised by the question.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I want to get married right now,” she said.
She started to turn away, but Lucius immediately caught her and turned her back toward him. He moved closer, his eyes fixed on hers.
Stella straightened, pushing him back before sitting up in bed. She folded her arms across her chest, her expression guarded.
Lucius settled behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his expression growing more serious.
“Why not?” he asked. “Give me a reason.”
Stella turned her head to look at him. She tried to hide the uncertainty in her expression, but it was impossible to keep it completely concealed.
“Why did you behave like that in the past?” she asked. “You didn’t treat me like you wanted a girlfriend. You treated me like you wanted to pay me off for giving you sex.”
Lucius’s brows pulled together.
“What are you talking about?”
“You randomly sent money to my account every time we slept together,” she said. “And I knew you were sending many of the businesses you worked with to purchase things from my café for their business meetings and events.”
Lucius stared at her for a moment, clearly confused.
“Because you were my girlfriend,” he said, as though the answer were obvious. “And I loved giving you everything I could. Is that wrong?”
His arms tightened slightly around her waist.
“You’re telling me that giving money to my girlfriend and recommending her business to the people I worked with was wrong?
” His voice remained calm, but genuine confusion flickered across his face.
“I wanted to see you happy. I wanted to help with your business. I wanted you to shop with my money. Was that wrong?”
Stella stared at him, caught off guard by his answer.
All this time, she had believed he was giving her money to make up for what he expected from her, as though he were paying her to sleep with him.
But that wasn’t what Lucius had meant at all.
“Then why didn’t you congratulate me when I won that prize?” she asked. “Instead, you pushed me away when my business won an award. It felt like it didn’t even matter to you, as if none of what I accomplished in my life mattered to you at all.”
Lucius’s eyebrows rose.
“Don’t you remember kissing me out of the blue?” he asked. “You did it so many times.”
Stella stared at him, waiting for him to continue.
Lucius pressed his lips together, looking almost reluctant to admit what had been going through his mind.
“I got turned on,” he finally said.
Stella’s eyes widened.
“I didn’t want you to see what you were doing to me,” he admitted. “Every time you kissed me, I wanted you more. I was already losing control, and I didn’t want you to know. It was fucking embarrassing. You’d barely kissed me, and I was already hard because of you.”
Heat crept into Stella’s cheeks.
She straightened, embarrassment quickly giving way to frustration.
“You were always so cold and dismissive toward me,” she said.
“You’d call me to your office several times a month just to have me bring you files, like I was your maid or something.
Then you’d make me stay on that office couch until you were finished before letting me leave. You treated me like I was beneath you.”
Lucius leaned closer and pressed a kiss against her cheek.
“Because I wanted to see you,” he said.
Stella turned toward him, her brows drawing together.