Chapter Thirty-One #2
together, about an hour earlier than Dad was expecting me. I heard two people in his office and started to go in when I realized
who they were and what they were doing. They were on the sofa. She was in his lap. They were making out.”
Rosie drew in a sharp breath, her face pale again. “Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand what you saw?”
“This is one of the reasons I didn’t want to tell you, Mom, because you always want to look for the best in people. There
was no best in this situation. They were all over each other.”
She hated that she had to talk about this. More, she hated that was one of her last memories of the man she had adored. The
man who had coached her soccer team, who never complained about helping her with math homework, who loved to take her hiking
and biking and tide pooling.
“What . . . what did they say when you interrupted them?”
“I didn’t give either of them a chance to say anything. Not then, anyway. I ran out, afraid I was going to puke. When I calmed
down, I went back into the office, making a lot of noise that time and calling his name so they knew I was there.”
“You were fifteen. You could have misunderstood what you saw.” The desperation in her mother’s voice made her heart hurt.
“I did not misunderstand. I know what I saw. More than that, Dad confirmed it when I confronted him about it.”
“You . . . you talked about Pam with him?”
“I wasn’t going to. I wanted to forget everything. But we were driving along the cliff road and he turned the radio on. Some
old song came on and Dad made a big point of talking about how it was one of your favorites and how the two of you danced
to it together at your prom. And I just . . . lost it.”
She had hurled bitter, angry words at him, telling him she had seen him and Pam on the couch in his office. She told him she
couldn’t believe he would ruin all their lives because he had a thing for his secretary. How could he betray Rosie like that?
Now they would get a divorce and Emma would have to shuttle between their houses and they wouldn’t be able to renovate Stormhaven
after all and Emma was going to be miserable.
It had all been self-absorbed. How his disgusting behavior was going to impact her life. She supposed that was not an unusual reaction for a teenager but it made her cringe now.
Her father had been devastated. She could still replay the conversation in her head.
“It was one kiss, that’s all,” her dad had insisted.
“How stupid do I look? That was not a kiss between people who’d never kissed each other before.”
“Okay. We’ve kissed a few times, but that’s all. It’s never gone beyond that. I won’t let it. I love your mom.”
“How can you even use that word? If you loved Mom, you would not have any desire to be bumping uglies with your secretary.”
She had been so very angry and hadn’t been paying attention to the road. The next thing she knew, the car was spinning out
of control, heading for the guardrail and then flipping over it, rolling down and down and down.
Her father hadn’t been wearing a seat belt. He must have taken it off in the split second the car started to spin in a vain
attempt to grab the steering wheel and wrestle the car back onto the road.
He had been thrown out while she had hung suspended by her seat belt when the car came to rest upside down.
The most horrible minutes of her life had been seared into her memory.
She was crying, she realized now, yanked back to her mother’s living room with its comfortable furniture and lovely watercolors.
To her dismay, Rosie stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her. The warm, familiar scent of citrus and flowers surrounded
her, comforted her, sending more tears spilling out.
“Oh, honey,” her mother murmured. “You have carried this burden by yourself all these years. I’m so, so sorry you didn’t feel
like you could share it with me. I wish you had.”
“You loved Dad so much. You were shattered when he died. Completely lost. How could I tell my grieving mother that her husband
was possibly having an affair with his secretary?”
“So you carried the burden by yourself for all this time,” Rosie said gently. “Is that the reason for everything else? Why you seemed to completely pull away from me after your father died?”
Emma could not come up with the right answer. It was part of the reason, certainly, but she also had constantly felt as if
her mother blamed her for Gary’s death. Whenever she would catch Rosie silently crying while she washed dishes or worked in
the garden, Emma’s guilt would eat away at her like acid.
“That time was such a blur, if you want the truth. I was so angry at everything. I was dealing with all the usual teen things
that fifteen-year-old girls have to face along with my own recovery after the accident. Hormones, acne, PMS. And I was so
angry at Dad, too. I missed him so much, at the same time I wanted to go on yelling and yelling at him.”
“Sounds like a perfectly reasonable reaction. I want to yell at him right now, too. If he were here, he would definitely be
hearing some choice words.”
To her shock, Emma felt a giggle welling up amid all the tears. Her mother gave a tiny smile and hugged her again. Emma leaned
her cheek against her mother’s and felt some of the massive ball of mingled grief and anger begin to untangle.
“Can you ever forgive me?” she whispered.
Rosie eased away and gave her a stern look. “Oh, honey. There’s absolutely nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. Even
by keeping the truth from me, I can see you were only trying to protect me.”
“Are you . . . completely wrecked?”
Her mother appeared to consider this. “Completely? No. I’m devastated, if you want the truth.
I thought our marriage was perfect. I thought I was the best possible wife and that your father would never have any reason to turn to another woman.
It’s going to take some adjusting for me to accept that perhaps we weren’t perfect.
That I wasn’t perfect. Perhaps all this time I’ve been looking at things through the wrong lens. ”
“You mean Rosie-colored glasses?”
It was something her father had often said, a phrase that had become something of a family joke.
Rosie always tried to see the best in people. Emma didn’t know how she would be able to do that in this situation, though.
“What are you going to do about Pam?” she finally asked.
Her mother’s features hardened. “I don’t know. I will have to figure that out. I’m not sure I can work with her, knowing that
she was willing to betray me with Gary and then hide it from me for a decade, going on as if nothing ever happened.”
“I can step in to help out at the construction company, if you want me to,” Emma said, then held her breath, wishing she hadn’t
said anything. This wasn’t the time, when their emotions were all on edge.
Rosie gave her a look of surprise. “You? But what about the bookstore? Aren’t you happy there? You’ve done such a good job.
I’m so thrilled at all the changes.”
“I have enjoyed the challenge of giving the place a refresh. I would be happy there for several more months while we fully
implement things.” She caught her breath, again wishing she hadn’t started this now. “But . . . eventually I would like to
have a role at Lucas Construction. It’s the main reason I agreed to come home, if you want the truth.”
“Oh, honey. I had no idea.”
“We can talk about this another time. Just know that if you need my help at the company, I’m ready.
We could always hire someone else to run the bookstore.
Or I could hire Maya and Jenny to be assistant managers and turn many of the responsibilities over to them, which would free up my time to help you. ”
“This is a lot to think about. I don’t even know what I’m doing about Pam yet.”
“I know. Not the greatest time to bring it up, but it’s been on my mind a lot since I came back and I . . . I wanted to let
you know. No more secrets, Mom. I promise.”
Her mom hugged her again and this time, Emma felt the years of tension and misunderstanding melt away. As they held each other,
a comfortable silence settled between them, filled with unspoken forgiveness and renewed love.
When they finally pulled apart, Rosie’s eyes were glistening with tears, but her smile was warm and genuine.
“No more secrets,” she agreed softly. “We’ve lost so much time, Emma. I don’t want to waste another day.”
Emma nodded, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders. “Me neither, Mom.”
Rosie reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear, a gesture so maternal and familiar that it made Emma’s heart
ache with a bittersweet joy. “I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become, sweetheart. Your father would be, too.”
As they stood there, bathed in the soft moonlight streaming through the windows, Emma felt a sense of peace she hadn’t experienced
in years.
The road ahead might not be easy, but for the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful about her relationship with her
mother. They had taken the first steps towards healing, and together, they would face whatever challenges lay ahead.