Chapter 8 #2
“Do you know who you remind me of?” From nowhere, Edward appeared beside Celestine and Emily. He crouched down, his voice was gentle, and he wore a soft smile that he made sure Emily could see. “My niece.”
“Wh -- who?” Emily asked as she sniffed back tears.
“Oh, you don’t know her,” he chuckled. “She is eighteen now, but she was once your age.” He looked at Celestine and winked.
She frowned in response, not sure what was going on.
“In fact, I remember the day she was born as if it was yesterday. Would you believe that I acted even more crazed than your grandmother is right now?”
Emily giggled. “No, you didn’t.”
“I did,” he said as if he was serious. “I paced and I screamed and I even broke a chair.”
“A chair? Why?” she gasped.
He grimaced. “Because I was scared, Emily.” His voice was soft and he reached out and took her hand. “Little did I know, there was no need for me to act that way. And certainly, there is no need for your grandmother to act as she is.” He looked at Celestine’s mother and shook his head.
Emily giggled again.
“The point is, what is happening to your mother right now is as natural as breathing. Soon, she will be fine, and soon you will have a little brother or sister. Would you like that?”
“Yes,” she said, the fear gone, excitement taking over.
“Do you think you will make a good older sister?”
“I will.” She grew determined. “The best.”
“I believe it,” he chuckled as he squeezed her hand. “Now, let us not worry so much. And let us ignore your crazed grandmother.”
It was hard to believe what she was seeing. Just when Celestine thought she understood Edward, he revealed another layer to himself that left her breathless.
He had effortlessly brought calm to the room. He had easily distracted Emily from Celestine’s mother and the situation both. And what was more, he had done so not because he was trying to play a role or trick anyone. He did it because he wanted to, and because he cared.
The next hour passed slowly, but not with so much tension. Emily took to Edward immediately, and soon she sat on his lap. Celestine was across the room, she watched as her niece giggled at something he said, and she found all her doubt and confusion from earlier fading like mist in sunlight.
“He is a good one,” Marigold said to her quietly.
“What?”
“The Duke,” she said. “Who would have guessed you’d be so lucky.”
Lucky… is that what I am? It felt as if she was, but such feelings were crushed by the reality of what would happen when this engagement ended. And while earlier, Celestine was convinced it was for the best, now she could not bring herself to believe such lies.
Nor did she want to believe them.
When it was announced the Ariadne had given birth, Celestine’s mother rushed from the room without being told that she could. Marigold followed, and Isolde took Emily’s hand and led her away. That left Celestine and Edward alone for the first time.
Celestine stood awkwardly in the room. Suddenly, she found it hard to breathe, and try as she might, she could not bring herself to look at Edward directly.
“Well, this was an expected turn of events,” he chuckled.
“It was,” she said softly. “And… and thank you, Edward. You did not have to come, nor did you have to…” She forced herself to look at him, and her chest tightened because the expression that he wore was one that might have suggested that she was the center of the world.
“I am glad that I did,” he said simply. “And do not fear either. I will not out stay my welcome.”
“You’re going?” she asked, the disappointment obvious on her face.
“You ought to be with your family.” He approached her, and her heart raced with each step. “But do not think you will be getting rid of me that easily.”
“What do you mean?”
He reached where she stood, a foot between them. She forced herself to look up and meet his eyes, and she knew they were filled with hope… the chance that she would see him again. And that he wanted to see her.
“The opera, remember?” he said. “Tomorrow night. I assume we are still going?”
“Oh. Yes, I… if you want to?”
“Should I not?”
It hung between them, the shared knowledge that soon their time together would come to an end.
“No,” she said. “I mean, yes. I mean…” She laughed. “I look forward to it.”
“As do I. Here…” Slowly, he moved his hand to her face.
Celestine’s eyes widened and her heart leapt through her throat. Her mind returned to that night on the balcony, and she braced herself for a kiss that she did not realize how much she wanted until it was upon her. Only, it never came.
His hand rested under her chin, and he used a single thumb to wipe away a tear that stained her cheek. His touch was gentle, and it sent a prickle through her body that she chest in her chest.
“Much better,” he said. “I will see you tomorrow?”
“I look forward to it,” she said without pause.
“As do I, Celestine.” His brow furrowed as if the statement confused him. He hesitated, she thought he was going to say something else, to change his mind or refuse her. Only then, a smile found his lips. “As do I.”
With that, Edward turned and left.
Celestine remained where she was. She should have been confused. She should have been frightened. But for some reason, she was not those things. Suddenly, the world seemed so clear to her, and she could not believe how foolish she had been.
Later that day, Celestine was finally able to see her sister. By then, the room had cleared so it was just her, Ariadne, and baby Emmet. Celestine sat in a chair by the bed, cradling her nephew, and her sister watched on.
“Mother told me what His Grace did for Emily,” Ariadne said. She sounded tired, and she looked just as much.
“Oh. It was nothing…”
“It did not sound like nothing.”
Celestine winced and before she could stop herself, she was pouring her heart out to her older sister. She was, perhaps, the only person in this world who Celestine could speak so freely to, and she’d had no idea how much she needed it.
“It is all a lie,” she ended in saying. “The engagement… our love…” She scoffed as she cradled Emmet. “I have lied to everyone, Ariadne. Myself included.”
Much to her surprise, Ariadne laughed.
“What?” Celestine demanded. “What is so funny?”
“You forget how well I know you, Celestine,” Ariadne said. “You like to pretend that you want to be alone, that you are happy to help others while your life and needs are left wanting. But that is not the case.”
“That is… I lied, Ariadne. That is what matters.”
“No,” her older sister said. “What matters, and why you are so upset, is because this so-called false engagement isn’t what you thought. It has become something different and you are terrified that you might be happy for a change.”
“I am happy,” she defended.
“Are you?” Her sister looked at her. “The lies aside, tell me true, how do you feel about His Grace? If it was real, would that be such a bad thing?”
Celestine did not answer right away.
She looked down at Emmet, her nephew, and she thought truly about her life and how she had ended up here. Once, she had wanted to love and marry and live a life of happiness with a husband who meant the world to her. Once, she had wanted her own family, for that was her dream.
But things had changed… her life had been torn apart… and since then, she had convinced herself that she did not want that which once brought her so much joy.
Looking at her nephew now, seeing her sister and the love she held for him, and thinking back to that last moment with Edward, Celestine knew without question that she had been lying to herself all this time.
She did want those things. She had always wanted those things.
And the only reason she had stopped trying was because of fear.
“I… I do not know,” she said without conviction.
“Yes, you do,” her sister said. “And once you admit that, Celestine, well…” She smiled warmly. “Maybe then you will be ready to admit how you truly feel about His Grace.”