Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Celestine was feeling nowhere near as confident as she might have appeared. All day, she had sat in a state of nervous anticipation as she considered the night that was to come.
It helped a little that Edward was confident enough for the both of them. Too often she had noticed his sideways glances, the smirk on his lips, and the way he squeezed her hand as if to remind her of what was on his mind.
So, she did her best to return these gestures. Even though she was feeling so nervous, she knew that she wanted this, just as she knew how right it was sure to feel when it happened. What was more, she trusted Edward and she held onto that trust for all it was worth.
“Here we are…” Edward’s voice broke through the silence.
She started in surprise, having lost herself in her thoughts.
They sat across from one another in the carriage, but she felt it starting to slow.
Her throat restricted, she swallowed, and then she looked out the window.
There on the horizon, standing out from the purple and red hues of the early evening skyline, stood Blackthorne House.
My new home…
It was not the first time that Celestine had seen it, but it felt as if it was.
It came with a different feeling, as if she was about to step into a new world that she did not know.
However, as she slowly started to wrestle with such feelings, Edward took her hand and his touch alone was enough to calm her.
“I want you to know that I have no regrets about today,” he said gently as he squeezed her hand. “I thought I might. I thought…” He shook his head. “Truly, until I saw you, I wondered if I might panic and run.”
“There is still time,” she said jokingly.
He laughed. “The time for running has long since passed, Celestine. Now is the time for celebration.”
“Oh…” Her voice cracked.
“Or rather, proving to ourselves that we have done the right thing. Not that I am worried, but it is best that we make sure.”
“And…” Her voice cracked again as her heart leapt through her throat. “How are we going to do that?”
In answer, he smiled at her, one that reached his eyes; those eyes shone in the darkness, the hunger in them ever-present so that Celestine felt it throughout her body.
Keeping hold of her hand, Edward helped Celestine from the carriage.
“It goes without saying that this home is now yours,” he explained as they walked down the driveway and towards the front door. There was a footman waiting for them, and he threw back the grand doors as they approached. “Whatever you want, whatever you desire, it is yours.”
“That is quite the offer.”
“The life of a duchess,” he said. “You best get used to it.”
The household staff were lined up across the foyer. Stepping from them was an elderly butler, he who was clearly in charge. He bowed deeply as Celestine and Edward came to a stop.
“Welcome home, Your Grace.”
“Charles,” Edward said. “I would like for you to meet my wife.”
“Your Grace.” Edward bowed again. “It is a pleasure, and I look forward to waiting on you.”
“Millicent?” Edward asked Charles.
“As you requested, she is not home, Your Grace,” he said. “With a friend until the morrow.”
“Good.” Edward squeezed Celestine’s hand again. “I hope that Her Grace’s things have arrived and been unpacked, Charles. You have not been slacking, have you.”
“As requested, her room has been made, and her things await her. Shall I escort you?”
“No need,” Edward said. “And that will be all.”
“My room?” Celestine asked as the two started up the stairwell. “I thought…” She looked away with embarrassment.
He chuckled. “You have your own quarters, of course. Tomorrow, I will give you a tour of the eastern wing, where they reside.”
“Tomorrow?” She swallowed at the implication.
“Yes.” He looked at her, a knowing smirk on his lips. “Tomorrow.”
Do not act so nervously, Celestine! You knew this was coming.
Celestine literally trembled as Edward led her through the vast hallways and toward her bedroom. She tried her best to control her body. She wanted to appear confident and eager. But with each step taken, the sense of inevitability weighed her down so that it was crushing.
To try and counter it, Celestine did her best to remember their kiss… and everything else. She had enjoyed it at the time. It had felt so natural that she did not need to think about what she was doing. But now, such thoughts only made it worse.
What if it is not as I think? What if Edward realizes this is a mistake…
For all of Celestine’s self-assurances that she had made the right decision, she knew too well that so much of that rested on how tonight went. A most sobering thought, indeed.
“Here we are…” Edward led her into his bedroom.
“It is…” She swallowed. “Lovely.” She then jumped when she heard the door close behind her. She turned and her eyes widened, panic felt in her chest.
“There is no need to be so nervous, Celestine,” he said as he took her in.
“I am not nervous.”
“You are…” He walked toward her. “Which is right. If you were not a little nervous, I might have cause for worry.”
“I… I am just… this is all suddenly so real,” she admitted. “And what if it is not as we hope? What if we realize that this is a mistake?”
Edward loomed over her as he stopped less than a foot away. The room was softly lit, shadows thrown across his face, making its lines appear sharper than usual. But his eyes glowed, she met them, and she did not see worry or doubt or second guesses. He did not look concerned at all.
“I think you know that won’t be the case.
” Slowly, he reached down and took her hand.
It was twice the size of her own, warm to the touch, and it sent a ripple up her arm that she felt in her chest. “I have not been with as many women as you might think, Celestine. I am not nearly the rake people say.”
“I…”
“But I have enough experience to know that when I kissed you, it was unlike anything I had felt before. That alone tells me that this is right and that we have nothing to worry about.”
“But how can you be sure?”
He chuckled deeply as he took her other hand. “Well then, shall we find out?”
Her mouth turned dry. Her heart tried to escape through her chest. Her knees buckled. Her breathing stopped dead. And all she could do was look up at her husband and pray that his confidence would be justified… that this would be all that they hoped, and more.
“Now…” He let go of her right hand and cupped under her chin. “If there is anything you need, be sure to let me know.”
“Need?”
He licked his lips. “Or want. Or desire. Do not be shy. In fact, I ask that you don’t be. You have fight. You have courage. You are your own person. Let me see her, Celestine. That is who I married and that is who I want.”
She had no idea what his words meant but she looked at him as if she did. His left hand held her own. His right hand was cupped under her face. The time had come, and all that was left to do was see once and for all if this marriage stood any chance of working.
Well, here goes nothing…
Cupping her under the chin, Edward slowly brought Celestine’s lips to his own. Her breath caught in her throat, a final surge of panic swept through her body, and then their lips met and… all that doubt, all that worry, all that panic faded completely.
It was as if life itself was being breathed into her. As if a fire that had lain dormant for so long was reignited. As if Celestine had been missing something, not sure what it was, only to be found again so that she was finally made whole.
She stepped forward as they kissed. She moved her hand to his waist. She opened her mouth, as did Edward, and their tongues danced and played and did much to remind them that this was not a moment to be feared, but one to be cherished and encouraged.
“There she is…” Edward chuckled between kisses.
“I don’t know what I was worried about,” she responded as she kissed him back.
They stood in the center of the room. Edward’s hands moved to the side of Celestine’s face. Her hands were on his waist. And for a few moments, that kiss was all which mattered. They kissed with passion. They kissed with hunger. They kissed as if trying to devour the other.
The intensity rose because they both seemed to realize that a kiss wasn’t going to be enough, and nor should it be. They were married now. Tonight was their first night together. There was nothing to stop them, and every reason to give in completely.
“Celestine…” Edward stepped into her, forcing her to take a step back. And then another. “I want you…” He continued to push her back, his lips moving to her face and then her neck.
“You have me,” she breathed.
“No, not yet,” he said with a growl as her knees hit the bed. “But I will.” He stepped in a final time and she gasped and fell back.
Their lips parted and Celestine lurched as if something had been taken from her.
She then looked up and found Edward staring down at her with hunger.
His eyes drank her in. He licked his lips as they roamed her body.
She trembled, still nervous, but not so much that she dared to think that this was not what she wanted.
“Edward, what are you…”
“I’m just trying to decide what to do with you,” he said with a wicked smile. “Where to start.”
Her heart leapt through her throat. “I… what do you…”
He chuckled. “Say nothing, Celestine. Let me show you what has been on my mind all week. Really, since I first met you.”
Her eyes widened with understanding, and she gasped as he fell to his knees in front of her. She went to shuffle back but his hands gripped her by the thighs and held her in place. Then, slowly, he spread her legs apart.
She could hardly breathe. She could hardly think. Her body was on fire and she knew from the look in his eyes what he intended with her. Once, it might have made her blush… it still did. But Celestine was in it now, and she did not want to shy away.
So, she met his hungry eyes, she ignored the beating of her heart, and she spread her legs for him to shuffle between.