Chapter 11
Every day with Deimos Briarwood and her pursuit of herself was honestly quite exhausting. She loved it, of course! How could she not? But dear Lord! It was making her change and break her mold in a way she’d never imagined.
All of it was magnificent. All of it took its toll. For she felt like a plant in winter going from a mere bulb to a full bloom of extravagant color and foliage.
She needed her sleep every night, and yet she could not sleep, because she kept thinking of him and the way he kept changing her world for the better. That, of course, was not the only reason he kept her awake at night.
That kiss! That kiss replayed in her head over and over. The way his strong arms had held her, the way his lips had moved over hers. Heavens! She’d had no idea she’d been made for such bliss. The truth was it was hard not to throw it all aside and simply choose that bliss.
Frankly, a strong part of her longed to simply kiss Deimos Briarwood all day, every day.
But that would end her adventures quite quickly!
Thank goodness, she could not stop thinking about Lady Upperton’s suggestion.
She could not stop thinking about that salon.
Nor could she stop thinking about the publishing house and how she might be able to unite two ideas in deciding what her purpose in this life could be.
Who she was? What was she meant for? Who was she becoming?
She still wasn’t entirely certain, and as she sat on the chaise longue, her skirts and her knees close to her chest, she clung to her book. For in a topsy-turvy world, books were always the answer.
Reading away in the early morning light, several hours before Deimos would come and pick her up again, she contemplated what exactly she was supposed to think of all of this.
This was exactly what she had chosen for herself, but she still couldn’t quite make sense of it.
She felt like she had so many pieces inside her.
And that she could not figure out how they went together, like a vase that had broken upon the floor or a child’s set that had come but had no instructions.
The butler quietly opened the door and said, “Miss, you have visitors.”
She looked up from her book, astonished. It was too early for calling hours. “Indeed?” she said.
“Yes.”
And before the butler could announce their names, two ladies stormed into the room.
Celia and Emilia Briarwood charged in, full of life, apparently loving their existence as spinsters.
Deimos’s sisters were barely known, but they were definitely spoken of in the ton, for they had both rejected having a Season. Alice could hardly imagine such a thing, but she did admire the ladies for being so true to themselves and what they believed in.
Celia was dressed in a gown of deep yellow with a straw bonnet perched upon her head, a nod to the ever-warming weather.
Her sister’s gown was one of deep rose and her bonnet was a simple affair. The two of them looked very much alike indeed, but they had completely different personalities.
Celia crossed the room quickly, sat down in the chair opposite the chaise longue, not bothering to wait upon ceremony and said, “You must forgive our boldness. We are not creatures of rules or the habits of the ton. And we do not have a great deal of time.”
“Exactly,” Emilia agreed, taking the other free chair. “We are on our way to the East End at present, but we are dying to know, and speculation is pointless.”
Alice frowned. “Dying to know what?”
Celia and Emilia blinked then and they said as one, “Are you going to marry him?”
Alice sucked in a breath so fast she started to cough and immediately reached for her cold tea. She gulped it down, then realized her rudeness. “Shall I call for more?”
Celia tsked. “We haven’t time.”
“Truly, we are just here for this,” added Emilia. “Oh and to invite you to our school, of course. We hear you are cavorting all over the place, in defiance of the expectations of a young lady’s activities.”
“Which we whole heartedly approve of,” said Celia, her eyes shining with said approval.
“So we both approve of the match, if there is a match,” Emilia surmised.
Alice could barely believe her ears and frankly had no idea how to reply to the rapid onslaught.
Undeterred by Alice’s amazement, Celia rushed, “It is on everyone’s lips in the ton. The rumor has it that you are going to marry our brother or have a scandal with him. We want to know which one it is.”
“Or is it both?” offered Emilia.
She picked up her book and clung to it as if it was a lifeline, as books often were in her existence. She looked from sister to sister. “I’m sorry. You wish to know what?”
“Well, you see, we think you’d make an excellent sister, and we hope you do marry Deimos,” said Celia. “He needs someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Alice echoed. “But I don’t understand. He could have anyone that he wanted.”
“Why would he want anyone besides you?” Celia asked quite matter-of-factly.
Alice cleared her throat. Well, because, she thought to herself, there were many young ladies who had not had the sort of difficulties that she had. Who had more confidence, more power, more charisma.
Emilia rolled her eyes. “Oh dear, you can’t see it, can you?”
Alice shook her head. “What?”
Celia and Emilia exchanged gazes.
“She will eventually,” said Celia.
“Deimos will make sure of that. We all will,” said Emilia.
“What are you talking about?” Alice demanded.
“Oh, nothing,” Celia said brightly, folding her hands in her lap.
“Now, when are you going to come and visit us at our school?” Emilia asked.
“Or you could do a tour of the country and visit all of our father and grandpa’s schools. It would do you good. We hear that you’re trying to figure out who you are, and we didn’t know who we were either until we started working in the East End,” Celia said.
“Really?” Alice breathed, rather stunned but captivated.
Emilia nodded. “Mm-hmm. It’s very hard to tell who you are when you’re always putting on shiny things. Too much glitter and blur.”
Celia nodded. “It’s perfectly all right if you like shiny things, but sometimes one just needs to take a step back and also see the experience of life that is outside of the ton.”
“Is it really true that neither of you ever plan to marry?” Alice blurted.
Celia waggled her brows. “Why be tied down by a man when one can do exactly as they please?”
Emilia nodded. “We have a vast fortune because of our grandfather. Why would we ever marry? It’s too much risk.”
“That’s not what I’ve been told,” Alice returned warily. “I’ve been told getting married secures one’s future.”
Emilia sighed. “Well, perhaps for you it would be a good idea.”
“What do you mean by that?” she queried.
Celia shrugged. “Well, you’re not like us.”
Emilia nodded. “Nobody is really like us,” she said.
Celia nodded. “We’re odd. It’s true.”
And just then the door opened and Cassius strode through. He stopped dead in his tracks, looked about, and said, “Am I interrupting something?”
“Not at all,” Emilia said. “And you are?”
“Cassius,” he said easily. “I am off to see the Duke of Westleigh and discuss the Corn Laws. They are in an ever-terrible state.”
Celia shivered. “Indeed, and we see the effects of them every day.”
Alice sucked in a soft, horrified breath. “You do?”
Celia and Emilia nodded.
“Yes, of course,” Emilia lamented.
Celia let out a note of fury. “So many people are starving in the city. They can’t afford bread, you know.”
Cassius looked like thunder. “The duke and I are going to see if we can break heads and cause people to see reason.”
Celia grinned. “Hear, hear!”
Emilia gave a look that suggested she wished to cheer and might join him in a pitched battle if he asked her to join.
“Good,” she said. “We could use a few people who break some heads.”
“Are you calling for violence?” Alice asked, feeling that things could get out of hand.
“A bit of violence could be fun,” Emilia said with a wink.
Cassius stared at her. “My mother tries to make certain I am not in the streets causing violence,” he said. “Hence my office work with your uncle.”
Both ladies grinned.
“Well, whatever gets the job done, sir,” Emilia said with a jaunty salute.
And then the two girls stood.
“Off we go then,” declared Celia.
Emilia gave her a stare that couldn’t be escaped. “You will come, won’t you?”
Alice nodded. “Of course I will.”
“Promise,” insisted Celia.
“I promise,” she said.
And then the two sisters departed as quickly as they had appeared.
Her brother looked at her, startled but clearly having enjoyed the exchange. “What did they want?”
She stared at the door, exhausted again. “They want to know if I’m going to get married or cause a scandal.”
He laughed, but then he stopped. “Oh God, they mean it, don’t they?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Well,” he said, “have you decided?”
“I don’t know,” she replied honestly, contemplating asking for more tea. But even she was certain that another cup of tea would not solve this.
“We’ll weather a scandal,” he said brightly. “I might cause one too. Who knows.”
“Yes, but yours will be for a much better cause than mine,” she returned.
Cassius frowned, then said quite firmly, “I’m not so very sure about that. I think your cause will be just as great as anyone’s and certainly as big as mine. I hope you see that soon, Alice. It’s the only reason I can tolerate that Deimos fellow taking you about. Because he sees it too.”