Chapter 34
The dive, as Gunnar had begun to think of it, wasn’t going to be easy. But he’d done hard things before.
He was more concerned with how Mattie was handling it. He’d never had anyone worry about him like this. In his family, no one worried. Bears were strong, independent, loners. Life was lived a certain way.
Yes, he sent flowers to his mother and sister, but there was a reason he didn’t make that widely known. Bears weren’t sentimental. They weren’t affectionate. And family obligations were seen as a duty. Nothing more.
Mattie was so different than the women he was used to. She was kind and caring. And she was very tolerant. His mother would have squashed Blueberry before putting up with the imp’s nonsense.
Mattie treated Blue like a child, looking after him, protecting him. Cleaning up after him. Loving him.
Gunnar had to wonder if the imp knew how good he had it. He leaned forward slightly to see Blueberry. He was sitting on the pizza plate, chewing on the last bit of the crust, his eyes fixed on the television.
Gunnar sat back and smiled. The imp was a handful, but he wasn’t that bad.
He finished his food, using a slice of bread to get the last of the moussaka out of the container. He paused the show again, then sat forward, ready to take the container back to the kitchen. “Done?”
Mattie glanced down at her meal. She’d only eaten half. “Yeah. I’ll save the rest for later.”
“I’ll stick it in the fridge for you.”
“Thanks.”
He took both containers and Blueberry’s plate into the kitchen, throwing his container away, putting both forks and the plate in the dishwasher, then closing her container and sliding it onto a shelf in the fridge.
He looked around for anything else that needed to be cleaned up, but the kitchen was tidy.
Just like the imp was growing on him, Mattie’s house was too.
The longer he spent here, the more the clutter made sense.
It wasn’t clutter. It was her personality on display.
She liked pretty things. Bits of color. Mementos.
A varied collection of magnets held all sorts of things on the fridge door—pictures, takeout menus, ticket stubs, letters that looked like they’d been written by kids.
Curious, he leaned closer and read a few. They had been written by kids. Apparently, Mattie helped out at the local academy, teaching the kids about bees and helping them set up their own apiary. He smiled. Why did it not surprise him that she was involved in something like that?
As he straightened, he had a thought. If this house represented her personality, what did his house say about him?
Not much. It was impersonal. Neat because there was no one there to mess it up but him. And maybe a little cold.
He should fix that.
He opened the fridge again to grab the bag of chocolates from the other day. There were four left in the bag, along with the empty paper cups from the ones Blueberry had eaten. Gunnar took the bag back out to the living room.
He sat down next to her again, holding the bag out. “Dessert?”
She nodded and stuck her hand in.
“Me, me! I want one,” Blueberry said, flying over to make a selection.
Mattie snatched him out of the air, stopping him before he dove headfirst into the bag. “Blue, you already ate most of those. Let Gunnar pick first from what’s left.”
The imp huffed as he crossed his arms. “Yeah, okay.”
“Oh, quit that attitude,” Mattie told him. “You like Gunnar.”
Blueberry smiled. “He’s all right.”
As she laughed, Gunnar snagged a truffle, then reached across her to put the bag on the cushion beside her. “All yours, imp.”
Mattie let Blueberry go, and he zipped straight in.
“That’s one way to keep him busy,” Gunnar said.
“Mm-hmm,” Mattie mumbled around the bite she was taking.
He popped his truffle into his mouth whole and crunched through the chocolate shell, pleased to find it was raspberry.
He pressed play on the remote and settled in next to her, closer this time. He watched her for a moment.
Long enough that she turned to look at him. “What?”
How did he answer that? Did he tell her he was memorizing the honey-blond color of her hair? Counting the freckles that dusted her cheeks and nose? Marveling that a woman like her had given him a chance, despite how closed off he was?
Or did he confess that he liked her so much, it was making him rethink who he was and how he decorated his house? No. That was too much to put on her before he faced the task that lay ahead of him.
Instead, he just smiled. “Nothing.”
She went back to watching the screen. He slipped his arm around her shoulders, wondering if she’d resist. Maybe it was too much too soon. He got his answer when she leaned into him, moving closer.
He exhaled, her willingness to be near him twisting something in his gut. Making him want, more than ever, things to go easily tonight.
He wanted to see what might come next for them. What life with a woman like her could be. Impulsively, he kissed the top of her head.
She let out a small, contented sigh.
He could get used to this. He already was.
The credits rolled.
“Another one?” he asked.
She said nothing, just nodded. The next episode started without them doing anything. At some point before midnight, he needed to tie the carabiners onto the paracord and attach the chem lights, but for now, that could wait.
There was time. And he wasn’t sure he’d get a chance to hold Mattie like this again. He wanted to absorb the moment, to make it last as long as possible.
As confident as he’d led her to believe he was about the dive, there were no guarantees it would be a success.
The real truth was, there was a very real chance he might not survive it.
He just didn’t want her to know that.