16. Jace
JACE
“Is that really the only weight you can handle?” my dad asks, not bothering to wait for an answer as he adds more. He finally walks away to comment on another player’s form, and I fight the urge to flip him off behind his back.
“Are you going to Cameron’s party tomorrow?” David whispers so my dad can’t hear.
Today’s my eighteenth birthday, but I was still up at fucking five a.m. to be here lifting weights before school. It’s not even baseball season, but god forbid I have one day to sleep in.
I’m supposed to be an adult now. I’d think maybe I could start to make some of my own decisions, but when I suggested skipping this morning’s session, my dad lost his shit and spent a solid twenty minutes screaming at me about how I’m throwing my life away and how I don’t appreciate everything he’s sacrificed for my future.
At this point, I’m really struggling to remember why I even bother to stay out of trouble if he’s going to tell me whatever I’m doing is wrong regardless of how “well behaved” I am.
I get it, the MLB has standards, and a team isn’t going to want me if I royally fuck up, but never having any fun, living my entire life focused only on baseball and what my father says I need to do to play, has me really resenting the game lately.
It wasn’t as bad when I was dating Liv and she could distract me from it all, but obviously I couldn’t keep dating someone who implied I’m gay. Seriously, who says that about their boyfriend? She should have known more than anyone just how not gay I am.
She still isn’t friends with Kieran, though.
I’ve seen her following him around at school, but it seems like he’s being as stubborn as before by continuing to shut her out.
He and Danny seem as solid as ever though.
Every time I see them laughing in the cafeteria or hanging out at each other’s locker after school, it continues to aggravate me.
“I know you normally skip them, but everyone’s going to be there since his parents are out of town. It’s your birthday, and it’s Halloween, man, you can’t miss the costumes,” David continues when I don’t respond. “You gotta go to a party at least once in high school. You’re eighteen now, dude.”
You know what? A party actually sounds like a great idea.
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I confirm. I won’t drink because my psycho dad likes to randomly drug test me to “prepare me for the majors,” and I don’t feel like dealing with that fallout.
But just getting out of the house and feeling like a normal teenager for a night is exactly what I need.
“I’ll drive if you want, but if my dad asks, I’m spending the night at your place,” I tell him.
“Hell yeah! I even have an extra costume if you want it,” he offers. “The guys on the team are all going as superheroes, but the first one I ordered was too big. I couldn’t see my muscles at all. Should fit you though.”
“Sounds good.”
I shift uncomfortably, trying to readjust myself again. This costume might technically fit me, but I’m pretty sure the whole outline of the superhero’s dick isn’t on display in the movies. My muscles do look great though.
“Your games are, like, my favorite part of the year,” some girl from my Spanish class is slurring as she grips my forearm.
I lost David a few minutes ago, he said something about a bathroom, but he probably went to get another drink by now.
I’m really regretting offering to be the designated driver tonight.
Why did I think it would be fun to be at a party with a bunch of drunk people while I’m sober?
I excuse myself from the cleat chaser to try to find David again.
He isn’t in the kitchen or the hall outside the downstairs bathroom.
I swear to god, if that asshole is hooking up while I’m standing out here getting bumped into by what feels like every dumbass in our grade, I’m going to lose my shit.
Seriously, can no one walk in a straight line?
I’m not about to go banging on the bedroom doors or anything, but I’m too annoyed with everyone to just stand here.
I might as well make sure he isn’t vomiting in one of the bathrooms, so I head upstairs.
Cameron’s house is huge, and I don’t actually know where I’m going.
There’s a bunch of abstract art on the wall as I continue down the hall, and I’m distracted looking at it as someone opens a door, running right into me.
“Oh shit, sorry,” I start but stop when I see who it is.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Sparkles?” He’s dressed up like an ’80s rockstar with dark makeup that makes his normally bright blues eyes somehow look even bigger.
It’s more than he normally wears to school, but the way he has the bandana tied around his forehead, paired with an open leather vest with nothing underneath it and tight black pants, it’s somehow less feminine than his daily looks too.
What the fuck is his problem? Is he trying to prove he can wear makeup and still look like a man? Because the whole vibe is just confusing.
“It’s a party,” he responds flatly, rolling his eyes. He doesn’t have a drink, and he’s missing that intoxicated glassy look that so many of our classmates currently have, though, so maybe I’m not the only person who’s sober tonight.
“No shit,” I spit out. “I meant, why are you at a party? I didn’t think you had any friends besides Danny, and you don’t even seem to be drinking.”
He crosses his arms, standing up a bit straighter, but he still needs to look up at me.
“If you must know, Cameron is my lab partner, and he invited me. Danny also wanted to come and coordinate costumes,” he huffs out.
He’s still standing inside the doorway to what I can now see is a bathroom, but I’m blocking his path out.
I don’t really know what to say, but I’m not ready to walk away, so I blurt out the first thing I can think of. “I saw Liv was downstairs. Are you here with her too?”
“Definitely not,” he scoffs.
What is his problem? I might not want to date her, but I don’t think Liv deserves to be ignored by her oldest friend either. “I don’t get why you’ve been so shitty to her,” I mutter.
“I was shitty to her?” he repeats, eyes wide like he can’t possibly understand why I’d think that.
“Yeah, you ended your friendship because she got a boyfriend. That’s super possessive and weird.”
“I wasn’t mad she had a boyfriend. I stopped talking to her because she started dating you,” he practically yells in response, stepping closer as he does. “The guy who’s been harassing me for a year for no fucking reason!”
“No reason?” I repeat back. “You’re the one who’s continued to show up in fucking makeup and glitter after I warned you against it in front of my friends,” I seethe. “You wanted attention so desperately, you got it. It’s your fucking fault.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Kieran huffs.
“It’s my fault for not fitting into your idea of who a high school guy should be?
That’s a you problem! And you let it get under your skin so badly that you have to constantly remind me that I’m a freak and a weirdo.
Does that make you feel good? Do you feel better about yourself when you make comments about how my only future is in the circus?
” he rants, throwing his arms out in his frustration, fighting back way more than he ever does at school.
And as funny as that comment was, I’m too pissed off right now to even snicker.
“You have no idea how good you have it,” I sneer.
“You could be living such an easy life with your nice, supportive parents. If you didn’t cover your face in that shit and wore normal clothes, you’d probably have way more friends,” I continue, unable to stop myself from matching his loud volume.
“Was that too boring or something? Do you really need attention so badly that you have to be so fucking confusing all the damn time?”
“Confusing?” He arches one of his perfectly groomed eyebrows. “What does that even mean? How am I confusing, Jace?”
Is he fucking kidding? “Because all the makeup is so distracting!” I explain even louder, gesturing to his current look as evidence. “Guys aren’t supposed to be pretty.”
We both freeze at that word.
Icy dread spreads throughout my veins as what I just said settles between us. Neither one of us moves or speaks, we just stare at each other in silence. His jaw is hanging open slightly, but I didn’t mean…
He slowly smiles. “You think I’m pretty, Jace?” he finally taunts, a wicked glint in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.
That smug expression is too much.
I’m done being on my best behavior around this freak.
I shove him hard with both hands firmly on his bare chest, forcing him back into the bathroom.
Storming in after him, I kick the door shut and quickly lock it behind us.
He’s lucky no one heard him say that shit, but I’m not taking any more chances.
I walk right up to him, forcing him back until he hits the back wall. His body language confirms he’s intimidated with the way he’s shaking as I bring my face right in front of his. “You need to shut the fuck up. I didn’t say that,” I hiss.
He sucks in a sharp breath, glancing down.
And then this fucking asshole has the balls to smirk as he looks back up at me, holding eye contact.
He swallows and stands to his full height before he confidently replies.
“Holy shit. Is that what this has been about the entire time? Have you been lying, Jace? Are you gay?” Each question sounds more and more amused.
What the actual fuck? First Olivia and now Kieran?
These assholes don’t know what they’re talking about.
“I’m not gay,” I insist, trying to shove him back again, but he’s already pinned against the wall.
Kieran reaches up and grabs my wrists instead, gripping them tightly so I can’t pull my hands away from where they rest on his bare chest. How is he that strong?
“Does it piss you off that I’m pretty?” he taunts again, obnoxiously enunciating each word.
I’m shaking now too, vibrating with anger. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this pissed off in my entire life, and my dad has really set the bar high for that. My heart is racing as my body goes into full fight-or-flight mode, ready to eliminate the threat of his unfounded accusation.
“Shut the fuck up!” I repeat harshly. “I’m not gay.” I’m attracted to women. I’ve hooked up with his best friend for fuck’s sake.
“Then why are you hard, Jace?” he asks, maintaining eye contact as he uses his grip on my wrists to tug me forward.
I’m not anticipating the move and stumble into him.
As I do, our hips align in a way that has my cock rubbing against his erection.
I swallow back a groan that threatens to leave my throat.
Fuck. Why did that feel so good?
This stupid fucking costume makes everything perfectly visible, and it’s probably making me more sensitive than normal.
I’m just angry. It doesn’t mean anything that I’m harder than I can remember ever being.
My heart rate is elevated, and my blood flow is all messed up.
That’s probably why he’s hard too. Plus, Kieran is so fucking confusing with his makeup and his…
well, I guess his clothes aren’t exactly feminine right now, but I’ve seen him in enough girly shit that my dick is probably permanently confused.
His grip on my wrists isn’t actually that tight. I should pull away. Remove myself from this freak’s presence and forget all about whatever is happening right now.
But then he fucking taunts me again.
“Go ahead, Jace, tell me again how you think I’m weird. A freak. What was the word? Distracting? Lie to my face and tell me you’re not attracted to me right now as your hard cock rubs against me,” he dares, shifting again to emphasize the contact.
Fuck, that feels amazing.
“I said shut up,” I demand, voice still harsh as I try to remember how to move. I need to walk away, but my fingers are digging into his pecs now, and I hope they bruise. I hope he has to stare at the reminder of me hurting him for days.
But fuuuck, why does that feel so good?
Did I just grind into him? No. Absolutely not.
“Or what, Jace?” he goads, looking so fucking smug. I’d love to wipe that cocky grin off his face. My gaze locks on his mouth. The full lips that are shiny and red, and would look so much better wrapped around my—
Nope. I shake my head, attempting to clear away that completely uncalled for image.
“Or I’ll shut you up myself!” I finally answer.
But he seems completely unaffected by my threats, and his smile only grows as he stares me in the eyes.
“Your dick twitched there, big guy. Whatcha thinking about?” he teases.
And I don’t know if it’s just how blunt he’s being or if I want him to feel as flustered as I do, maybe I’m just sick of listening to him, but even I’m surprised when I answer honestly.
“A much better way you could be using your mouth, one where I wouldn't have to hear the annoying sound of your voice.”
I’m expecting him to finally push me away, to insult me or threaten to spread lies about me being into men.
But no, in true Kieran fashion, he completely shocks me with his response.
“Okay.”