20. Jace
JACE
Sparkles cut his hair.
That’s the first thing I noticed today and it’s all I can think about when I see him in the hallway now.
I’m not watching him. I’ve been doing a phenomenal job of ignoring him since that night where the thing definitely didn’t happen.
Haven’t said a word to him in months. Haven’t so much as looked at him.
I dropped the nickname, stopped calling him out on his clothing preferences, and stopped trying to get a rise out of him altogether.
Because if I’m not provoking him, then there’s nothing he can let slip.
My encouragement never got him to stop wearing makeup anyway, so I quit giving him the attention he clearly desires. If anything, he leaned more into it with the way he’s kept wearing darker makeup since Halloween.
It feels like a taunt to me. I’ve refused to let myself engage with him even though I want to so badly.
He just makes it so hard to ignore him, but I can’t risk it.
If he ever did start any rumors and they got back to my dad…
Nope, there’s no use thinking about it. It’s been months, and obviously neither of us is going to say anything so I should stop obsessing.
Except now he’s gone and cut off half his hair, and I can’t seem to look away.
Why is he even still at school when classes ended almost half an hour ago? As far as I know, he isn’t in any clubs. He does art classes during the day, but I don’t think he sticks around to do anything extra. Did he get detention or something?
I’m still here waiting for our final preseason practice to start in half an hour. It was delayed for some faculty meeting my dad had to go to, and he was not happy about that.
But now that the hallway is empty, I have a clear view of Kieran, standing in front of his locker, looking at something on his phone.
Before, he had the boy-band, skater-kid hairstyle that so many people wore for way too long. Now, he’s shaved the sides down in a fade, leaving some length on top, styled like he’s on a red carpet and not finishing up a day of high school.
Who does he think he is? And who is he putting in all this effort for anyway?
I still haven’t figured out if he and Danny are together.
They hang out a lot, but other than prom, I haven’t noticed any physical contact.
He sure didn’t act like he was seeing someone when he dropped to his knees for me, but maybe they aren’t exclusive.
Maybe they wait until no one can see them and fool around.
Is he sucking Danny’s cock like his life depends on it whenever they’re alone?
Fuck.
I don’t care!
Kieran can do whatever the hell he wants with whomever he wants, and it’s none of my goddamn business. He’s certainly never doing anything with me again.
It doesn’t matter that, when I tried to hook up with a girl who’s in my Spanish class over winter break, I saw Sparkles when I closed my eyes. The fact that his mouth is all I can picture when I jerk off is completely irrelevant.
He finally closes his locker and turns toward the bathrooms when I see it.
There’s a huge hickey on his neck.
I don’t even realize I’ve stormed after him until I’m throwing open the bathroom door.
“Who did that to you?” I hear myself demand as soon as we make eye contact. He’s washing his hands, and he waits until he’s done to bother responding.
“Oh, are you talking to me again?” he deadpans.
I roll my eyes. Is he trying to be cute or something? “Answer the fucking question, Sparkles.”
“Did what to me? What have I possibly done to piss you off after months of ignoring me, Jace.”
I wish I could ignore him, but apparently, I’ve hit my limit. “Don’t play dumb,” I scoff. “What, you can show up to school in makeup every day, but you can’t be bothered to cover up a giant hickey? Are you trying to show off that someone actually wants you?”
He slowly turns to face me, leaning casually against the sink as a smug smile takes over his face. “What is it, Jace? Are you jealous? You don’t want to admit how much you want me, but no one else can be with me either?” he taunts, and I freeze before he spits out, “Fuck off.”
How dare he. I’m not fucking jealous. “I’m not gay,” I remind him. “I don’t want to be with you.”
He shakes his head, giving my whole body a once-over as he walks closer to where I’m still standing by the door. “Fine, you might not be gay, but you could be bi or pan.”
Did he just say pan? Like a pot?
And bi? I didn’t even realize guys could be bi. But it’s not like I know any queer people other than him and Danny.
I’ve spent the last few months clinging to the fact that I’m attracted to women. To the fact that I’m not gay. Because I’m not. All my other hookups have been with women, and I enjoyed every moment of those. I know I’m not gay.
I can’t be gay.
Gay men don’t get drafted to the MLB. The word “gay” is a negative descriptor when my friends say it, and it’s meant as one of the worst insults when my father uses it.
But the words he’s using… I don’t really want to think about what they mean.
How they might apply to me and the super fucking annoying thoughts I can’t seem to stop having about him. Or the even more infuriating way my body seems to react to his. Even now. All because he’s pretty in a way boys shouldn’t be, and I still don’t know what the fuck to do with that.
Hopefully I’ve managed to maintain my general pissed off expression so he can’t see how confused I am.
“Are you really telling me you’d say no if I offered to suck your dick again?” he continues to taunt me. “You’re hard right now, Jace,” he points out, close enough to me now to reach out and run his finger over the obvious bulge in my sweatpants I somehow got just from talking to him.
Fuck.
This isn’t happening. I can’t do this again. And at school, where my dad is? Absolutely not.
Except my traitorous dick only seems to be more turned on by the fact we’re in a public bathroom at our school right now.
And that he skimmed his fingers over my hard dick.
And, fuck, that hickey on his neck is mocking me, reminding me while I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened at that party, Kieran has obviously moved on.
Fuck, was it Danny? Is he his boyfriend?
“Are you cheating on Danny?” I blurt out.
“No” is all he says.
But, fuck, that doesn’t really give me an answer. Did Danny give him that mark and they’re just friends with benefits or did some other asshole do it?
Either way, I bet it’d piss off whoever gave him that mark to see a new one put there by someone else.
The heat in my gut intensifies at the idea of marking him myself.
Any thoughts of labels and what any of this means is easily pushed to the side when I imagine looking over during class and seeing a bruise that I left on him.
That no one else would know was put there by me.
“Swear you won’t tell anyone?” I hear myself asking in a rough tone that betrays how gone I already am.
“Wait, seriously?” Kieran asks, voice no longer cruel. I might even dare to say he sounds hopeful.
I back up a few steps so I’m leaning against the main door, preventing anyone else from coming in.
“You said it yourself, I’m obviously horny,” I say, already attempting to excuse what I so desperately want to happen. “Your mouth is as good as any.” I shrug, trying to cover up the fact that I’m shaking with anticipation.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. Again.
But the thought of walking away right now, when Kieran’s offering another chance at his perfect mouth, feels absolutely impossible.
“Are you going to keep ignoring me?” he asks as he steps closer, unzipping the jacket he’s wearing and shrugging it off before dropping it on the floor in front of me.
“Was my mouth wrapped around you so good that you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away if you talked to me again?
” he asks as he lowers himself to kneel on his jacket, pulling my sweats and underwear down with him.
My dick is already leaking as he exposes it.
“No,” I grit out, reaching out to thread my fingers through what’s left of his hair, pulling tight to try to feel like I have any sliver of control in this situation.
I might not be the one on my knees, but the way Kieran is taunting me, that smug expression as he reaches out to steady my dick in his hand before he licks up my shaft like it’s a damn lollipop, has me reeling.
God, normally I hate how fucking pretty he is, but right now, all I can think about is how he’s even prettier when he’s on his knees for me.
“I’ve thought about that night a lot,” he admits, licking me again. I thrust my hips toward him as I try to pull his head closer to me, but he only chuckles, still in control.
“Were you thinking about me when that guy attacked your neck?” I question.
He lets out a short laugh before finally swallowing my cock. I swear his throat was made to perfectly fit around my dick because he manages to go way deeper than anyone else ever has. It’s so warm and wet as he swallows around me, squeezing impossibly tighter.
“Fuuuck,” I groan out, using my grip on his hair to hold him in place.
I make the mistake of looking down, and our gazes lock.
His bright blue eyes might be lined with black, but with his shorter brown hair and the stubble on his strong jaw that looks sharp enough to cut glass, there’s no mistaking my cock is in the mouth of another man.
In public. At our school. Where my dad works.
A part of me wants to freak out, to use my hold of Kieran’s head to shove him off me, to yell and smash something, because this shouldn’t be happening, and it really shouldn’t be happening somewhere where we could so easily get caught.
But the part of me that seems to be in control of my movement focuses on keeping him where he is.
Focuses on the tear escaping from Sparkle’s eye as he chokes and gags on my cock.
I finally force myself to pull back just a bit, letting him breathe.
As he sucks in a deep breath through his nose, I don’t even realize I’ve used my thumb to wipe the tear before it could fall until I’ve already done it.
What the fuck.
I’m not being gentle here. That isn’t what this is.
“God, you look so happy to be gagging on my dick,” I mock, needing to distract him from whatever the fuck that was. “Is that why you didn’t cover up that mark on your neck? You want everyone to know what a cockslut you are?”
He moans around me, the vibration nearly sending me over the edge with how absolutely incredible it feels. That moan was straight from a cheesy porno. Did he actually like me calling him a cockslut? I look down again and realize he’s fumbling with his other hand to free himself from his pants.
His dick looks painfully hard, and maybe only an inch shorter than mine. The swollen purple tip is leaking precum that he’s desperately spreading as he works himself with rough strokes.
My cock is down his throat again, but I’m not the only one enjoying it.
I didn’t see his dick at all the first time, and I can’t look away now as his hand moves up and down his shaft.
I’ve obviously never seen another hard dick in person before.
I wish I could say I hated it. I wish I could say it confirmed everything I’ve been telling myself for months about how straight I am and the sight of Kieran’s erection completely turns me off.
But all I can think about is what it would be like if it was my hand wrapped around him instead.
I don’t get a chance to warn him as that thought sends me over the edge.
I come down Kieran’s throat as the high of my orgasm overwhelms me.
The pleasure is so intense that I struggle to stay standing.
Kieran gags around me as he swallows, blue eyes watering, and the sight alone sends another wave of heat tearing through me.
A second later, his own release hits him just as hard and thick ropes of cum paint the floor.
Both of our orgasms seem to go on and on for an endless moment while I stare at him kneeling below me, warring over how incredible this was, again, and how much I can’t believe it actually happened.
When I finally recover, I quickly pull up my pants, straightening myself before stepping around him to look in the mirror. I splash some water on my flushed face and try to calm my racing heart.
It’ll be fine.
No one will know.
It’ll never happen again.
I turn to find Kieran wiping up the evidence of his release with a paper towel, clothes already back in place.
“No one can know,” I tell him harshly.
For a moment something raw flashes behind his eyes, almost like he’s hurt by my reminder, but he quickly nods his confirmation, and it’s gone.
“Don’t leave right after me,” I warn, this time not waiting for a response before I rush out of the bathroom.
It’ll be fine. He didn’t tell anyone the first time.
And it will never happen again.
No one will ever know.