50. Kieran #2
He shrugs with a grin. “Guess I’m just naturally talented. But, I’ve always been a catcher, you know?”
“Oh, fuck you,” I say playfully.
“You already did.” He grins, and I roll my eyes, then he shifts a smidge closer, dropping the cocky edge in his voice. “But, yeah, after how great last night was, I’ll acknowledge that I’m vers, but I do prefer to bottom. Is that a problem?”
“No. Of course not, because…” I trail off. I should say because this isn’t real, because it’s not. Or because it won’t happen again.
But what I really want to say is, we’ll make it work.
I haven’t topped in a long time either because bottoming is also my preference, but I’m not opposed to it.
And there are plenty of ways we can both enjoy sex.
So, instead, I swallow down both thoughts and give him another piece of truth.
“Because I like knowing that about you.”
“Yeah?” he asks, curiously, not even attempting to cover his smile.
“Yeah,” I say softly. “It reminds me that the picture I have in my head of who you are might be different than who I’m getting to know—the real you, lying here with me.”
“I am that person lying here with you,” he says, voice full of conviction as he looks right into my eyes.
“I’m the same person you started falling for behind all the voice alteration technology.
I’m really hoping that I can keep proving that to you, K.
I’m not the person you used to think you knew.
I didn’t even know that person, if I’m being honest.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, looking away. Because Jace is proving to be everything I’ve spent so long wanting in a partner, and as I sit here feeling like he’s staring into my soul and saying things I’d never imagined him capable of, it’s hard to believe he’s making any of this up.
“Look, I know you’re not agreeing to hook up again, but we are going to be spending a lot of time together with this plan, so I’d like to be very clear that I am very okay with having a physical relationship.
And maybe I was too honest about preferring to bottom, and should’ve just kept my mouth shut, but trust me, we can make this work,” he says, probably thinking I’m contemplating how we’ll have sex—because I think we both know we’re going to give in to the pull between us again—instead of how much this “relationship” is actually affecting me.
“There’s more than one way to enjoy sex, and I did really like fucking you.
I think you can agree that we’re compatible. I have some ideas.”
“Compatible, huh?” I laugh at his implication.
He nods, head now on the pillow, inches away from my own. “Yeah, and not just for sex, either.”
Between Liam and Blake ditching the group meet up, then Jace and I sneaking out right after, production wasn’t happy, and they’re requiring us to do more group activities. I think they wanted more drama to unfold, but Liam assured Jace that what happened that night was a misunderstanding.
I’m still not sure why someone who thought they were straight would come on this show assuming they’d “know” if they were talking to a woman, but hey, that’s not my relationship to concern myself with. If they worked it out and they’re happy, then I’m happy for them.
The apartment building has an indoor pool, and we’re all meeting up for a forced group hangout.
“I’m not planning to actually swim,” I warn Jace as we walk into the humid space, and he nods in acknowledgement.
Luckily, there are cabanas, and Blake and Liam already claimed one and are waving us over. The pool area is nice with a large window wall that seems like it can fully open up in the summer. There’s a smoothie and juice bar set up, and a table with snacks.
“Hey, guys!” Jace says excitedly as we make our way over to the empty chairs in their cabana.
“So good to see you again!” Liam smiles.
“Hey!” Blake adds. “Sorry about the other night, I’m excited to actually get the chance to hang out with you both today.”
“Us too,” Jace answers for me, and I realize I should say something.
“Yeah, can’t wait to get to know you both.”
We all grab some snacks, and then sit back down to eat with our smoothies and juice.
It’s still kind of odd to me that Jace and Liam bonded so well platonically in the blind dating set up—and I’m totally chill and not at all jealous about it.
Watching them interact as Liam tells Jace about a barn he’d like to renovate on his farm, it seems like they’ve known each other for years with how comfortable they already are with each other.
But they’re talking construction, they aren’t flirting.
I hate that I feel so possessive of him. I don’t want to be with Jace.
I just… also don’t love the idea of him with anyone else.
How fucking mature of me, I know.
“That sounds like a really cool project, maybe we could come up for the weekend sometime and help out if it isn’t done,” Jace offers, pulling my focus back to the conversation.
Ugh. Why is Jace so naturally charming as he offers that we’ll come help. We. As in me and him after we’re married.
They don’t know he’s acting for the cameras.
But is he?
He’s been friends with Liam for no reason other than emotional support.
That’s not something a complete asshole would do.
I don’t think he’s making future plans for us to look good for the audience; it sounds like he just wants to visit his friend, and since that friend thinks we’re dating, of course we’d come together.
Fuck, I think I’ve finally accepted that hate isn’t the word I’d use to describe my feelings for Jace, but I don’t think I’m emotionally prepared to admit how much I actually like him either.
In the short, post-blind-dating time we’ve shared together, we’ve maybe even become—I don’t know that friends is the right word—something close to friends.
When I’m done eating, Jace picks it up without hesitation. “Do you want anything else?”
I stare up at him from my reclined position, assessing.
There isn’t a single sign that his offer, or his warm expression, are fake.
He said he thought we were compatible last night in more ways than just sex.
I’d brushed off the comment, but I think he might be right.
He’s everything I’ve dreamed about in a partner. “No thanks, I’m good,” I finally reply.
“Just let me know if you change your mind,” he responds easily before walking away.
“So, who wants to swim?” Liam asks when Jace returns.
We all have our swimsuits on, and I stripped down to mine when we got to the cabana, but it isn’t until this moment that I realize Jace has kept his shirt on.
He seems to hesitate for a moment, looking to me.
“You already know I’m not swimming,” I remind him with a short laugh. “But don’t let me hold you back.”
I’m not sure if his hesitation is about leaving me behind or if it’s about being so exposed on camera, but either way, I don’t want him to worry. At this moment, I think what he needs is encouragement and support from me, his partner. Real or not.
I get up and walk over to him. When I’m close enough, I reach out to grab hold of his hand and lean in so the cameras can’t hear me.
“I don’t know how you’re feeling right now, but let me remind you, there’s nothing about you that you need to hide,” I whisper into his ear.
He squeezes my hand and smiles softly at me. “Thanks, K.”
“I’ll keep Kieran company, go have fun with Liam,” Blake yells to us, assuring Jace I’ll be just fine.
Finally, Jace nods, lets go of my hand, and removes his shirt.
I wasn’t anticipating just how distracting it would be to have Jace half naked here in public with everyone else.
Even though we’ve had sex, I still haven’t seen his bare chest in broad daylight.
And fuck, I had no idea how sexy he would be.
“Kieran,” Blake says, clearing his throat.
He probably said my name a few times if I had to guess based on the smirk he’s aiming at me.
I must’ve gotten lost in taking in Jace’s broad, hairy chest and soft abdomen that clearly still covers a lot of muscle, plus his thick arms I want to be wrapped around me again.
“Shit, sorry.” I laugh.
“No need to apologize, I get it.”
I can’t help but furrow my brows because didn’t this guy think he was straight last week? Is he seriously checking out Jace now? “What is it that you get?” I clarify.
His smile doesn’t falter. “I might be new at realizing how attractive men can be, but I’ve been pretty distracted by Liam in his bathing suit too.”
Right. He’s talking about his partner. That makes more sense. Fuck, when did I become such a jealous person?
“So, Kieran, what should I know about you?” Blake asks.
I blink at him, trying to process the question. “Like my job? Or…?” I trail off, not really sure what he’s looking for.
Blake shrugs. “Yeah, that. But I also want to hear all about your likes and dislikes, and what your day-to-day life is like. Now that we’re friends, I need to know all that.”
A surprised laugh escapes my throat before I can stop it. “If you don’t know any of that, are we actually friends yet?” I tease.
Blake pretends to look offended, dramatically covering his hand over his heart like I’ve wounded him. “Kieran, I hate to break it to you, but we’re actually best friends now.”
“And why is that?” I ask, playing along.
“Because our boyfriends are best friends. Look at them.” He nods to where Liam and Jace are chatting on the edge of the pool.
“Liam’s only mentioned, like, one friend from back home, and I don’t even think he lives there anymore.
Jace has really been there for him during all this, and I don’t want their friendship to end with the show,” Blake says seriously.
I nod at him, his concern for his partner having a support system is not what I was expecting after the little bit I’ve heard about Blake so far, but it makes me warm up to him even more.