Chapter 31 Caterina
Caterina
“You betrayed me after swearing you wouldn’t.”
“I didn’t mean to!”
“Are you sure you don’t need your brothers’ protection after all? Where’s your little knife?” he asks harshly, prowling ever closer.
My hand flexes as if I could summon it with a thought. The knife is special to me and I did indeed carry it with me to New York. But, I won’t use it tonight. Not even to defend my own life. “If you hurt me, Alessio, I know you’ll regret it,” I whisper.
“Will I now?” He’s furious and not a man accustomed to reining in his wrath. But he would regret it. A boldness I never knew existed in me was born the day I married this man. Whatever happens, I will face it.
“I don’t fear you, Alessio.” It’s partly a lie.
I’m utterly terrified at the thought of torture, but I want to believe that the monster I married is caged when it comes to me.
He grips my arms, but I can sense the restraint in his touch.
He doesn’t want to hurt me. I have to trust in that.
The alternative would indeed break me. “I never meant to betray you. I just couldn’t tell on them. ”
“So, you admit knowing about it?” Even the night he’d been shot, I’ve never known him to sound pained this way.
“I admit I knew she wanted to run and planned to do it today during the audition. Beyond that, I don’t know anything, but I pray she’s safe.”
“You and your fucking prayers!” he shouts, turning away to smash the vase of flowers beside him. The unhinged part of him wants blood, and I have enough sense to keep my mouth closed.
Instead, I reach out to touch him. Carefully. Just my fingers lightly brushing the back of his hand. He blows out a long breath and, when he glances at me, I know his rage isn’t all that governs him. The attraction between us is an undeniable force.
He comes closer, turning me around until my back is against his front.
“Why must you test me?” I can sense the longing in his voice.
It echoes my own. His nose rakes against the side of my throat, his hot breath making my flesh come alive with a million goosebumps.
The way I’m shivering when he holds me this way has nothing to do with terror.
“I don’t know why but I’m sorry,” I answer, daring to reach back and cup his stubbled jaw.
He doesn’t push my hand away this time even as he mutters, “You’re not sorry.”
“I’m not sorry I didn’t tell on her, but I am truly sorry I’ve hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me,” he sneers.
That’s a lie. Or I’m almost certain it is.
My betrayal, such as it was, may have wounded him more deeply than any blade could manage.
He’s only verbally pushing me away while still holding me tight.
His proximity and strength, that spicy cologne and the salt of his skin fully awakens my need for him.
He has an arm locked around my torso. Reaching down, I pull his hand up to my breast, silently tempting him to take what I know he wants.
He pinches my nipple hard, and I stifle a moan.
“You think you can escape questioning this way, Caterina?” he murmurs.
“Not escape. This is my favorite method of torture.”
He chuckles, darkly. “You think this is a joke? I should teach you a lesson.”
I lift my chin, twisting my head to give him a challenging smile. “Maybe it’s a lesson I need to learn.”
He stares back at me with such hardness in those blue eyes. Is my husband in there somewhere? “Just remember, you fucking asked for it,” he growls at last, walking me toward the sofa.
He lays me face down across the overstuffed arm and unzips his pants.
It shouldn't excite me, yet it does. Arousal trickles between my thighs as he throws my skirt over my back. He yanks my panties off, lifting one foot to cast them aside so he can spread my legs further apart. I’m completely exposed to him.
When I try to glance over my shoulder, his strong hand flattens down the center of my back, pushing my upper half further into the cushions.
“You will be silent and take it,” he rumbles in my ear.
“I’m going to fuck you hard, and you won’t get to come, Caterina. ”
Despite that threat, another powerful jolt of desire electrifies my every nerve. “And this is my punishment?”
“No, this is your lesson.”
I’m confused by his answer, but there’s a rustling sound, his pants and boxers sliding down to his ankles.
He continues holding me down with one hand while the other caresses my ass.
He slaps one cheek, and my surprised cry is smothered by the sofa cushion.
He slaps it again and then the other, over and over.
The thrill his dominant side evokes in me and the erotic sting of his palm meeting my flesh soon has me whimpering for more.
“I believe this really is your favorite method of torture, but we’ll see what you think when it’s over. ”
His hot thick length brushes against my tender bottom and I quiver. Then, he pushes insistently against my tight back hole. Immediately, I freeze up, every muscle clenching. “Alessio…”
The hand on my back pushes me further into the cushions. “You’re supposed to be silent and take it, remember?”
Oh God. I know it won’t kill me, but I’ll admit I’m scared and have every expectation of real pain. He’s going to fuck me there, and I know I’m not ready.
Except he doesn’t do that.
His cock slips down to my pussy. I’m wet, but he doesn’t test me with his finger or lick me as he usually does.
He gives me no warning at all before he thrusts forward, hard and swift.
I screech into the cushions, but it’s the sort of pain I’ve come to relish.
It’s him claiming me, reminding me I’m his and I love it.
“Remember, I’m not going to let you come.”
I give a sharp nod and then he’s riding my ass mercilessly, chasing his own pleasure in a way I’ve never experienced. Yet, I gladly surrender to him. If he’ll forgive me, I will give whatever he wants to take. “Fuck… Caterina…”
Even though he warned me twice I wouldn’t come, the pleasure is still hurtling through my body.
Even without a climax, I know I won’t regret this.
I’m enjoying it far more than I expected.
But he’s going harder than he ever has, and I can tell I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.
Maybe the entire week. His piston pace grows more frantic.
He’s getting close. I want him to come and ease my misery. I never want it to end either.
“No, goddammit,” he growls and, all of a sudden, the air is cool against my heated face as he flips me over.
He tears my blouse apart and pulls the cups of my bra down to expose my breasts.
His mouth captures a nipple as he slams back into me.
I wince but also moan. Holy shit, the way he’s got me pinned to the sofa as he takes me roughly, it’s fucking hot.
Then, he ups the ante by rubbing my clit. What is he doing? “I’ll come,” I whimper.
“No.”
But it’s too much. Does he think I’m made of iron? “Please, Alessio.”
“You don’t fucking come yet.”
Yet. I like the sound of that.
Gripping my hips, he keeps fucking me against the sofa, muttering all those filthy things that I secretly adore. I am his dirty slut just like the recording his father has suggests. I haven’t had a chance to tell him about that, have I?
The thought whirls away as he increases his pressure on my clit and pounds into me harder still. “You fucking come when I say, Caterina.” I nod, unable to speak. “You come… now.”
And I do, screaming his name and trembling all over, my climax taking over until I’m lost to all sense and reason.
Which is precisely when he pulls out, spurting his hot cum all over my belly and breasts while leaving my inner walls pulsing painfully from the sudden emptiness. Flushed and flustered, I can’t deny that I orgasmed but, damn, it was definitely a punishment, too, in its way.
Even so, when he gives me a devilish grin, I can’t help smiling back.
If only it would last. I want him to hold me as he does at home, but he releases a slow breath and moves off of me, disappearing into the bathroom.
My body aches, and I’m a mess. I can’t seem to move.
He comes back out, his clothes already back in place, and I can tell there’s still a wall standing between us.
“Don’t turn me into him, Caterina,” he says quietly, something vulnerable in his tone even as he refuses to look at me. “My father’s already made a demon of me. Don’t push me to become something worse.”
“You’re not a demon.”
“I am. It’s what he’s made of me. It’s what he wants from his sons. I can’t let him know you had any knowledge about today. He would order me to hurt you.”
“You protect me. You take care of me.”
“Yes, I do but stop trying to make that into more than it is. We’re married. Just because I don’t hurt you doesn’t mean...”
“You don’t want to hurt me because you care about me. The same way I care about you.”
“Caterina… don’t.”
“You said that to me before, but I’m saying it anyway. I care for you. No, it's more than that. I love you, Alessio. I'm in love with you.”
He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth. “Don’t.”
“I think you might love me, too, just a little if-”
“I don’t love you. I never will love Nico's sister. You shouldn’t love me.”
Spoken without a shred of doubt, my heart stutter-steps as his words sink in.
He said them so easily, so naturally. He meant it.
He doesn’t love me. It’s agony realizing he doesn’t feel this thing the way I do, that he says he never will.
“You don’t have to love me back,” I whisper, drawing a ragged breath that feels as though it’s my last. “But my feelings aren’t something you can order me to have or not to have. ”
“True. You can’t save a fool from themselves.” My heart dies just a little more with his pitying glance. “He already wants me to hurt you, to really torture you, Caterina. I can’t do that to you but in the Trio…”
“It’s death to defy your Capo,” I finish for him. “I know, but you’re not him.”
“Aren’t I? I’m as heartless as he is. I saw what he did to my mother when I was nine and did nothing. Fourteen years, I’ve obeyed his every command. Fourteen years… until you.”
“Tell me what he did to her,” I murmur, afraid to know even if I must.
“After he caught her trying to run with one of his soldiers, he killed the man and told her she owed him a debt.”
Frankie had mentioned something about a debt, I recall. “What did that mean?”
“Her clothes, all her jewelry, money he gave her to spend on stylists and shopping trips, thousands and thousands of dollars, he added it all up for the eight years they’d been married. Then, he told her since she was nothing more than a whore, she could work off her debt to him like one of them.”
Bile rises up the back of my throat. “He made her…”
“Yes, in a place worse than you can possibly imagine. Club Oasis is paradise on earth compared to that hellhole.”
“And his men were okay with that?” I ask, incredulously. Even in the Trio, there are some lines that are not crossed when it comes to wives and children or else a man, even a Capo, will lose the respect of his men.
“The sort he keeps closest to him, they knew and revered him for it. The rest only heard rumors and feared my father’s ruthless nature too much to ask too many questions.”
“What about you? Did you know what he’d done?”
He shakes his head. “I was two when it happened. My memories all faded. After seven years had passed, he took us to the place where he stuck her. My brother was five years older. He was excited by the grimy underbelly of prostitution and his fascination with sexual violence had started early. I was only nine. I’d never been to a place like that.
Much as I wanted to be treated like a man, I wasn’t ready for that. ”
His words about never being with prostitutes makes complete sense now. He would only think of his mother.
“My father introduced us to her. Neither of us recognized her at first. For that matter, she barely knew us after seven years of suffering and being addicted to the drugs all the women there took.” I can’t breathe or speak as he continues.
“He told us how she’d tried to leave him, how she'd tried to steal money from him, how she was going to leave us, too. He said to take a good look at what women are good for and how far you can trust them.”
My eyes fill with tears. “Did she die soon after?”
“She died that day, Caterina. My father told my brother her debt had been paid, but she was still a traitor. He ordered Sil to kill her or he would kill him. My brother never hesitated. He had already been initiated and my father, our Capo had given him an order. All I had to do was watch my brother put a bullet between her eyes. My father demanded it.”
There are no words I can say to verbalize my horror. Taught his mother was a traitor, watching his brother kill her, knowing how his father had made her suffer, no wonder he is this hard. No wonder he doesn’t want to feel the things I feel for him.
He walks toward the door. “I’m sending you back to Vegas tonight. I’ll send Frankie, too, if they’ll let me. I have to hunt for my sister. I’ll protect you… but put these other thoughts away.”
Scrambling to my feet, I follow him. “I already said I can’t.”
“You will. You promised never to betray me, and I promised you faithfulness in return. Looks like one of us already broke our promise.”
Stung and desperate, I reach for him. “Alessio, don’t…”
“Don’t what? Don’t cheat?” he asks, a cruel smirk playing on his lips as he shakes me off. “I never wanted your love, Caterina. Our marriage bought peace when all I wanted was revenge. This was never meant to be some goddamn fairytale, and it’s time you accepted that.”
He walks out before I can say anything more, slamming the door shut on my heart as he goes.