Chapter 28
HARPER
Oh great. Italy has become the elephant in the room.
One minute we’re chatting and laughing, and then in typical Harper fashion, I forget myself, act inappropriately, and wham, we’re right back to where we started.
Over the past twenty-four hours, he’s been back to being impatient, distant and professional.
He didn’t even crack a smile this morning when he passed my desk, lost in his own world.
He disappeared into his office. When I took him his coffee, he didn’t bother to look up, simply dismissed me with a grunt.
A grunt!
I inhale deeply and close my eyes, calming my breathing.
You’re Brooke Feldmann, not Harper Frazer. This is how the world works.
Those blue eyes locked on mine, his lips firm and warm beneath mine, my fingers flexing against his hard chest.
Shit! I’m such a fuck-up.
I need to get Alessandro Bianchi out of my head. It wasn’t even a proper kiss. It was a peck at best. But you don’t give your boss a peck, and certainly not on the lips. Not that I was aiming for his lips, but…
Oh hell.
I smack the palm of my hand against my forehead.
You’re an idiot!
He probably thinks you’re some immature little girl who doesn’t know how to be a professional. That you’ve proven him right and overstepped the mark. Maybe he’s in there right now, contacting Sue, and I’ll end up being transferred to the back of beyond, like the last woman who made a pass at him.
I growl at myself. That wasn’t a pass. If it had been, he’d have known about it.
Not that I’ve got reams of experience, despite what the media have reported over the years.
My sexual prowess has been greatly exaggerated.
After Dad died, I rebelled and engaged in delinquent behaviour, as Elijah would call it.
Only to me, it wasn’t a rebellion. It was hiding in plain sight, drowning my sorrows not in alcohol or drugs, but in life.
Being constantly active and surrounded by others helped muffle the noise, the guilt.
I stare at the pile of completed reports on my desk. I was in at seven this morning, unable to sleep. One thing about living alone and having no friends is that I have far too much time to think.
My phone rings, and I grimace as I answer it.
“Brooke, can you come in here?”
He doesn’t sugarcoat it.
Shit, is this it?
I grab the tablet and knock on his door.
“Come in.”
He glances up and watches me approach. I drop my gaze, focusing on the desk in front of him.
“Take a seat,” he says.
I lower myself into the chair opposite him, his eyes burning holes through me. I look up and focus on his nose.
Was that a growl?
I’m hearing things.
“Brooke…”
“No, please let me speak,” I say, holding up a hand and deciding it’s time to pull on my big girl pants and own the moment.
He lets out a sigh and sits back, my stomach tensing as our eyes finally meet.
“Okay,” he says.
I nod, trying to loosen some of the tension in my shoulders.
“I want to apologise,” I say, inhaling deeply while holding his gaze.
Here goes…
“I want to apologise for my inappropriate behaviour in Italy. I would appreciate it if you would not hold it against me. I promise it will never happen again.”
“Inappropriate behaviour?” he says, tilting his head and pursing his lips.
I grimace.
He’s clearly not going to make this easy on me.
I pinch the skin on the inside of my wrist.
“Are you really going to make me say it?” I ask, my stomach churning.
God, this is embarrassing.
I sit upright, smoothing out an imaginary wrinkle on my trouser leg.
I bite my lip.
“Fine,” I huff, staring at the paper on his desk. “I’m sorry I kissed you. It was an accident. I promise, it won’t happen again.”
He steeples his fingers in front of his mouth before lowering them slowly.
“Apology accepted.”
My shoulders sag as I exhale deeply. “Thank you.”
“Brooke, does this mean we can go back to normal?”
I open and then close my mouth.
“Absolutely,” I say, but the uncertainty in my voice must give me away.
Normal?
“I’m talking about looking me in the eye, not jumping every time I’m within a metre of you.”
“I didn’t realise I was,” I say.
He inclines his head, raising an eyebrow.
“Okay, so maybe I have, but… oh hell, I’ve been embarrassed. I didn’t want you to think…”
He gives me a blank look.
“Think what?”
“Think I was coming on to you,” I say, my cheeks heating.
I must look like a tomato.
This time he laughs, and I scowl.
“Oh, Brooke. This has gone far enough. I know it was an accident. If anyone should be apologising, it’s me. If I hadn’t turned my head, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
“I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.”
“Well, now we’ve cleared that up, maybe we can get on with the tasks at hand.”
“Of course,” I say, standing up. “I have all the reports ready for you.”
He stares at me. “All of them?”
“Er, yes… if you have anything else that needs doing, I have extra capacity.”
“Brooke, sit down.”
I drop back into the chair, clasping my hands in my lap.
“Has someone said something to you?” he asks.
He presses his lips together, squinting at me.
“I’ll say this once. If I have a problem, I’ll speak directly to you about it. Do I make myself clear?”
He holds my gaze, and I nod.
“It’s just…” I say.
“Spit it out.”
“You’ve appeared distracted, and I assumed it was because of what happened.”
He sits back in his chair.
“It has nothing to do with you. Something is going on that I’m not at liberty to share. Don’t take it personally. I have a lot on my mind.”
I smile, the tight muscles in my stomach loosening. “No problem. Is that all?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says.
I stand, moving to the door.
“And, Brooke, why don’t you take an extended lunch break?” he says when I turn to face him.
“Would you like me to bring you something up?”
He smiles, and my heart flips. “That would be great. If you’re ahead, then I might as well take advantage of it. Maybe we can both get out of here early today.”
“Of course,” I say, letting myself out.
Extended lunch break, with who? I can sit and be Norma No-Mates, but what is the fun in that? It’s not like I can even go out and wander around the shops. This whole situation has left me isolated, and the loneliness is starting to get to me.
I glance at the clock. It’s twelve o’clock.
I switch the phones over and head down to the cafeteria.
“Hey, Brooke,” a voice says as I enter.
“Hey Molly. I’m going to have some lunch here, but Alex would like me to take something upstairs for him.”
She grins. “Of course. I’ll get Chef to prepare it and you can collect it when you’re done.”
I move along the counter, picking up a chicken salad and some fruit.
“Brooke.”
I spin around. Elise is standing at a table with her team, beckoning me over.
“Would you like to join us?” she says. “I’m just telling everyone how much help you were in Italy.”
I nod, some of the pressure in my chest lifting as I make my way towards them.
Not alone, but I must remember that connections make me vulnerable.