Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Five
W ould he come to her tonight? Anna put her hand to her mouth and felt Nicholas’s kiss, his lips warm despite the cold. A shiver rippled over her scalp and down her spine. Surely, he would come to find her tonight? She could hear the servants going upstairs talking quietly as she sat on the bed in her night shift, waiting. A dozen times she tiptoed to the door listening, but heard nothing.
She had almost given up hope when there were footsteps in the passage. Nicholas stopped outside the door and she held her breath. He stood there a moment before he went on. She heard the door to his bedroom close and squeezed her eyes shut.
He doesn’t want to disturb me, she thought. I must have courage! She found a wrapper, threw it about her gown and put on backless slippers. They were too big and made a clatter as she went down the unlit passage. Running her hand along the panelled walls, she crept forwards until she saw a sliver of light. For a moment she stared at the glow and flicker of candlelight in the crack beneath his door. Then her hand moved to the knob. Courage, echoed the voice in her head as she opened it and stepped inside.
Her eyes took a moment to adjust before she saw a long room divided by velvet curtains. Against one wall was a painted glass panel. Nicholas was standing by a water bowl in front of a mirror. He had his back to her and a towel in his hand, his hair curling as it dried. As the door closed with a click, he wheeled round.
‘If you know what’s good for you, you’ll go back to your room right now.’
‘I know what I’m doing, Nicolay Petrovich.’
Her voice was a whisper as she walked towards him. The wrapper slipped, falling to the ground, and Nicholas took her by the shoulders.
‘I doubt that.’ His eyes were keen and bright. ‘You’ve no idea where this might lead. You’re so young—’
‘I’m almost nineteen. Most girls are married at my age. I won’t hold you to anything…’
‘And what will you tell your parents?’
‘They’ll never know. I’ve been living on the dark side of the world. Anything could have happened.’
He was silent so long that Anna thought he hadn’t heard. Her mind was working everywhere at once. She looked round the room searching for words as if they might come from the panelled walls. Nicholas was too strong, too disciplined. Nothing, not even the longing in her eyes, would break his iron discipline. A lump rose in her throat. She must get back to her room before she burst into tears. As she made to turn away, his hands dropped from her shoulders and his arm went round her waist.
Anna’s lips parted and he kissed her with a passion that made her weak. For a long moment, they stood locked together. Then her arms went round his neck and he lifted her across his body and laid her down on the bed.
Nicholas removed the rest of his clothes and lay down beside her. She expected him to snuff out the candle but he left it burning as he unfastened the hooks and buttons of her nightgown. Watching her face, he slid his hands over her ribs to the dip of her stomach and traced the line of her hips. His fingers made circles on her skin, moving upwards to her breasts, and Anna was filled with a sense of wonder.
When Nicholas extinguished the lamp and moved to lie over her, her hands ran over his back, exploring his body. She felt the ridges of his muscles and the long reach of his spine before her fingers went to his face. She was aware, without seeing them, of the colour of his eyes and shape of his lips.
‘Be still, Annushka,’ he whispered. ‘I’ll be gentle. Hold on to me.’
He spoke softly and encouragingly. A low moan came from her throat and he waited until her arms went around him, then raised himself up on his elbows.
‘Is this what you’ve been wanting—’
Anna reached up, pulling him down so the rest of his words were lost against her mouth. She knotted her fingers in his hair and he gathered her to him. He began to move and heat streaked through her like summer lightning. Nicholas kissed her neck and throat, moving downwards over her bare flesh. His mouth seemed to sear into her, burning through her skin. He took her with a possessiveness that had lost all diffidence, showing, teaching her how to respond. He was a beautiful lover. If she had been blind, she would have known by his sensitivity and patience. He made love to her gently until her body was warm and yielding. Then his hands went beneath her, lifting her higher and closer, and she strained upwards, her arms stretching out to hold him as she was consumed by an explosion of dazzling sensation.
As she drifted back to hazy reality, Anna was trembling all over, from the tips of her fingers to her toes. A beam of moonlight came through the window and Nicholas looked down at her.
‘Was that good enough for you?’
Anna wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. She wanted to tell him she was deliriously happy, but her heart was too full to speak. She kept her arms around him and he buried his head in her hair.
‘You’re beautiful , lyubimaya . More beautiful than I deserve.’