The Reborn

Chapter Eighteen

Eighteen

Olivia

We settled into a routine of sorts over the next two and a half weeks or so. A bit strained and fraught with sexual tension, sure, but a routine nonetheless. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but Justin was my constant silent, broody shadow, always making sure Elizabeth and I were safe. He kept me in the loop on his investigation—or at least, I think he did. We ate dinner together, we watched TV together on occasion, and talked about nothing of consequence—though through all of that, I had come to learn so much about him, even if he didn’t mean to share. Things like he actually preferred seafood to steak, which surprised me. He wasn’t much for desserts, but he would never turn down a good cheesecake. I had already figured out he didn’t like breakfast much, and it turned out it was because of his time in the military. He puked up one too many breakfasts during those rough boot camp days, so he’d learned to keep it light. He preferred thrillers to action movies, had a soft spot for those who couldn’t defend themselves, and I was beginning to think the man lived on no sleep. He always went to bed after me and was up way before me.

When I asked him about it, he just shrugged it off. “SEAL habits die hard, I guess.”

But I could sense it was much more than that. Maybe it was my imagination or my desire to know him more, but I could just feel a dark sadness that seemed to haunt him, and I wondered if that was what was keeping him up at night. Of course I’d never ask him because I knew he’d shut me down.

But Elizabeth, she could always get him to smile.

And oh God, how she adored him. She took every opportunity to show off her pretty dresses and saved her biggest smiles for him, then glowed like the sun under any compliments he gave. It simultaneously melted and crushed my heart, knowing what she was unconsciously seeking but would never have in him—what she may never have in anyone—but what could I do? She seemed as helpless to his moody charm as I was.

But what I couldn’t put my finger on was the change I’d sensed since the night I shared my music with him. I wanted something special for my advanced girls recital piece, and I was sure I’d found it in the contemporary and classical mix of Beethoven and One Republic by The Piano Guys. Wrapped up in that feeling, I just wanted to share it with someone. For a split second, he’d seemed receptive, but that moment died a quick death, and he’d been distant, even cold ever since.

At least to me.

Well, it had been over a week now, and I’d had enough of the ice man treatment. As soon as I put Elizabeth down for the night, I gathered my courage and knocked on his bedroom door. It was time to confront the—

I lost all words... I think all sensation in my body too when the door swung open, and I was face to naked chest with said broody man. Scratch that. I was face to wet, naked chest.

Unable to help myself, my gaze dipped down to where he had one of my fairly dainty bath towels wrapped around his waist, showcasing that gloriously chiseled V that I had known would be there. I mean, of course I had...

He cleared his throat, and I snapped my gaze back up to his irritated face. Clearly, I’d startled him, and he thought something was wrong because I never knocked on his door like this. “Everything alright? Do you need something?”

Did I need something? No.

Want? Apparently, yes.

“I like your tattoo,” I said, blurting the first thing that came to my addled mind.

Of course, the man didn’t have basic tribal ink or military insignias. No. Instead he had a full black-and-white piece wrapping around his whole pec, bicep, and shoulder. It held so much beauty in one tattoo, I could hardly take it in—an abstract, ethereal landscape, a moon and stars, a compass, a rose, and bursting from what looked like heavenly rays in the middle was a dove with an olive branch in its mouth.

My heart shook because doves were such an emotional symbol in my family, with my cousin Claire, but I knew there was no way he’d know that, and I couldn’t help but wonder what made him get that tattooed on his body. I also wondered what was on the back, as it was obvious the design carried around, and I longed to ask him to turn so I could appreciate the full view.

“Thanks.” He didn’t move, but I could see him distinctly hardening behind the flimsy towel the longer I perused his half-nude body.

The air became warm and fraught with tension between us. The way his icy eyes cut like glass... I couldn’t take the distance anymore and something in me broke. Maybe I’d been alone too long, and I was just hungry for another person’s touch—a man’s touch—or maybe I was just going insane because of everything that had been going on, mixed with a case of terminal lust. Either way, I was done.

I tentatively lifted my hand, hovering for no longer than a breath, but I felt like I was suspended in a bubble, ready to pop and fly away. My pulse was rushing through my veins like a roaring wave when I finally touched his chest, oh so gently, right over his heart, next to the moon on his skin.

“Olivia,” he gritted, his voice a low growl.

I sucked in a wobbly breath and tried to make eye contact, but he was focused on my lips.

“You make staying professional nearly impossible.”

Triumph soared through me, even though I knew I was playing with fire. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” He sounded pained now as he grabbed my wrist, holding my hand captive. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But you’ve been so distant the last few days and I hate it. I just thought...”

“You thought what?” he snapped. “That we were playing house? Don’t forget why I’m here.”

I yanked my hand away, feeling like I’d been slapped. “Right. Thanks for reminding me.” I took a step back. “Again.”

He nodded, his expression painfully relieved as he moved to shut the door, though I would’ve sworn I saw regret in his eyes. But I guess I was just imagining that, because the next morning he strode into the kitchen, full ice man mode back in place, and announced that he was moving out.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Man Jusin!”

His eyes flitted between me and Elizabeth, who was grinning at him from her high chair with her face covered in syrup, cut up waffle smooshed on the tray in front of her.

He didn’t greet her, which was unlike him, instead turning his full attention back to me, his tone all business. “I’ve got your security up and running, no need for me to stay here underfoot. I’ve found a place nearby, so I can still keep an eye on things as long as I need to.”

“You mean until we catch whoever has been harassing me.”

“Yes.”

Rather than have any stupid feelings, when I definitely had no right to, I turned back to wipe Elizabeth’s face and offer her some milk. “Okay,” I mumbled. “Sounds good. The sooner we can get back to normal, the better.”

“Things won’t be normal until I put down this mother—” I glanced up when he self-corrected his language in front of little ears. “Until I catch them.” Big arms folded across his chest as he stared me down, making sure I got his meaning. “But I swear on my life that until that time, I will do everything in my power to keep both of you safe.”

My stupid heart swooned, not caring that he was being paid to say those things. “Well...” I lifted my wiggly toddler from her chair to get her dressed for the day. “I appreciate that, but no need to be dramatic. Just do me one favor?”

“What’s that?”

“Hurry the hell up.”

I’d give itto the man, he was fast.

He got the security up and running and the cleaning crew did a stellar job at the studio. You’d never know anything happened, and the president could probably come for a state visit, the system he had installed was so state-of-the-art.

I was so well protected, I felt like I was in witness protection.

We were able to get classes started again by Monday and life was back to normal. Sort of.

I came home to find he had packed up and moved out, but he’d left me a note on the dining room table.

Olivia,

I’m staying close by, so I can be here in less than five minutes. I’ll also be coming by often to keep an eye on the place, so don’t be alarmed if you see me parked outside. Keep your doors locked and systems armed at all times, and call or text me anytime if you need something. Day or night.

J.

My heart sank. I didn’t know what to do without him there. And maybe it was stupid that I was lonely.

I put Elizabeth in her room with some toys to keep her busy, then unable to help myself, I padded to the front window and peered through the blinds, stupidly looking to see if he was outside... He was not. It made me wonder where he was, what he was doing, if he was thinking about me the way I was thinking about him. It was seriously sad how quickly I’d gotten used to having him around.

I knew I’d go crazy if I kept this up, so I got busy making dinner and forcing away all thoughts of Justin Ashford.

My phone buzzed with a text so I dried my hands on a towel and checked my messages, smiling when I saw Whitney’s name.

Whitney:Hey girl! What are you doing? Hanging out with the hottie?

Me:No. He moved out. Just cooking dinner.

Whitney:What?! Why didn’t you tell me that today? When did he move out? What happened?

Me:He moved out this morning. He was only here temporarily until he got security set up, which he did obviously. It’s no big deal.

I was such a liar.

Whitney:You are such a fucking liar!

Me:Whatever.

Whitney:Don’t whatever me... as your BFF you owe me answers! How about over margaritas on Friday?

I thought about it and decided that sounded fun.

Me:Yes, ma’am. I’ll ask my parents to babysit.

Whitney:Now we’re talkin’!

We hung up and I called my mom to see if they’d mind watching Elizabeth Friday.

“Of course not, sweetheart. You know we always love having her. Why don’t you let her stay here all weekend? Take some time for yourself. Maybe take a spa day or something.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” The idea was tempting. I hadn’t pampered myself like that since I was pregnant.

“Mind? I’ve been waiting for you to ask so I can steal that baby away for our own girl time.” She actually giggled, which made me smile.

“If you’re positive. I don’t want to put you guys out.”

“Olivia Rose Creed. You hush up now. It is not a bother to have that sweet child. Now, you pack her plenty of things and we’ll be by to pick her up Friday afternoon. You can come get her anytime you want to on Sunday, but not too early. I want you to take some real time for yourself.”

“I’ll try.”

“Do more than try.” She paused and I could sense a change in her over the line. “Have you told him how you feel, honey?”

I gaped. “What? Who?”

“You know who. I’m your mother, I can see real feelings for that young man written all over you. Does he know?”

“Mom . . .” I groaned. “It’s complicated.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! He’s...” God, how I wished I could confide the entire truth to her. I felt horrible.

“What, sweetheart? A clueless man? They all are.”

“Maybe,” I hedged, knowing it was so much more than that.

“Well, your father and I trust you to make the best decision. You should trust yourself too, you know. You’re an impressive young woman with a good head on her shoulders and a lot to give someone special.”

“Mom,” I whispered, overcome by her faith in me.

“Maybe he just needs a little nudge in the right direction. Did you ever think of that?”

“Every time I’ve taken a step in his direction, it’s only pushed him further away.”

“Huh. Well, if this young man is worthy of you, he’ll figure it out soon enough. If not, don’t let him break your heart, baby.”

I half-heartedly agreed, then we hung up.

I texted Whitney back that we were on, to which my only response was a Gif of two women slugging back drinks.

I absolutely refused to go look out the window again, even though every part of me sensed Justin’s presence outside. Instead, I went about finishing dinner, feeding Elizabeth, playing princesses, bathing her, reading to her, then tucking her in bed.

My skin was literally humming with want as I worked to avoid the front windows while I cleaned up the kitchen and turned off the lights, double-checking all the locks and the security system. Bathed in the cloak of darkness, I knew he couldn’t see me. With a shaking hand, I inched open the blind the tiniest bit to peek outside.

Nothing.

The street was empty.

Frowning, I opened the blind a bit more to look farther down. Nobody.

Had I been imagining the feeling of being watched? Making up his protective presence, just because I wanted him there? Worse, was somebody else out there?

With a gasp, I flew back like I’d been electrocuted, my heart now thundering for entirely different reasons. My eyes darted over to the security system panel, its chipper green light letting me know it was armed, calming me somewhat.

I raced down the hall and peeked in on Elizabeth, and she was sleeping soundly in her bed, her hair all around her pillow like a dark-haired angel.

I left her door cracked and made my way to my bedroom and grabbed my cell phone to check the outside security cameras but found a text from Justin waiting for me.

Justin:Just wanted to let you know I made a quick trip by the house tonight. Everything looks tucked in tight. I’ll be back by during the night. Sleep well.

Hot tears flooded my eyes in both relief and a weird mix of fear and sadness. He had been by, and we were safe. Nobody was watching us but him.

I was suddenly stupidly grateful I’d done as he’d asked and shared my phone’s location with him. It seemed like overkill at the time, but now it made me feel closer to him somehow, which I was desperate for right now.

And yet, I had just felt his presence outside.

That meant I was tuned into him somehow. Something I’d never had before, but something he’d made abundantly clear he had no interest in.

Me:Thank you.

I didn’t bother asking him any details about his day or if he was any closer to catching whoever had been harassing me. He’d tell me if he was. I figured simple was better at that point since we’d already crossed too many lines.

By Friday Iwas a bundle of nerves. I’d sensed his presence a million times, but only caught him outside the house twice. Once, right before I went to bed, and the second time, right before dawn, when I got up with Elizabeth after she had a bad dream.

Lizzie missed him, which broke my heart. There was no way to easily explain to a toddler that he’d only been there temporarily as a security job. Her baby heart wanted what it wanted, and that was Man Jusin. She asked about him at the oddest times... wanting to show him her new dress or wondering if he was thirsty for juice. I tried to explain he was away working, as that seemed simplest, but she wasn’t having it, and I found her at least a dozen times at the front window, looking out at the street as if waiting for him to come back.

I was more than ready when Friday came, as going to Grandma and Grandpa’s would distract her, and I could commiserate about it all with Whitney over some alcohol.

I kissed her on the cheek. “Be good, okay? I love you.”

She wiggled in my dad’s arms. “’Kay.” She turned to my father. “We have cookies?”

“Well, of course, we can, darlin’. Grandma already made you some.”

She grinned at him and flailed her legs in excitement.

My father leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “She’ll be fine. Get some rest and we’ll see you Sunday.”

I nodded, unexpected tears rushing to my eyes. I loved my parents so much, and their unwavering love and support had held me up through so much darkness in my life. These past weeks were no exception. “Love you.”

I waved and watched them go, then spun to go get ready for the night. I had no idea what Whitney had in mind—with her it could be literally anything—but I went for what made me feel good. I showered, shaved, and straightened my hair. I put on more makeup than usual, including deep-crimson lipstick, and I chose a dress I’d bought but never had the courage to wear. The epitome of a little black dress. Tight, short, and it made the cleavage I did have look good. Paired with silver hoop earrings and heels, I let myself feel sexy for the first time in ages, and I refused to think it was for anyone other than myself.

My phone buzzed with a text.

Whitney:Knock, knock, you sexy bitch! I’d come on in, but I know you’re locked up tighter than Fort Knox now!

Me:On my way!

Laughing, I made my way to the front door to let her in and found her glowing as only she could, in the red version of my dress that was perfect against her auburn curls.

“Damn!” She whistled as she breezed in, smelling like expensive perfume. “You really are a sexy bitch!”

“You, too.”

“I know, but I’m always a sexy bitch. You only let yours out on special occasions.” She spun and took me in. “You looking to impress someone tonight?” Her brows rose with an evil grin. “Is Mr. Hottie Pants gonna be there?”

I choked on a laugh. “What? No. I don’t even know where we’re going.”

“I thought we’d try that new place by the college. The Wicked Apothecary. Their drinks are supposed to be wicked good...” She wiggled her brows at me. “And I heard they have an amazing house band.” Grabbing both my hands in hers, she spun us in a little circle. “We can get sloshed and dance. Maybe flirt with hot college guys. It’ll be so fun!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her infectious excitement. “Maybe not the college guys part, but everything else I’m in for.”

“Spoilsport.” She hooked her arm through mine, her smile falling a fraction, giving me a once-over. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“I love you, too, Whit.”

“And I always want what’s best for you.”

“I know that. Same for you. Always.”

We shared a moment, then headed for the door and out to her car, where she bumped me with her shoulder before we parted ways to get inside. “But, you know, sometimes what’s best includes flirting with hot college guys.”

We were both belly laughing as we drove away.

The Wicked Apothecary was packed when we arrived. The place was decadently decorated in gothic purples and blacks with ornate gilded mirrors and frames, giving it an otherworldly, sexy feel. The band was playing loud, bass-heavy music, and the dance floor was writhing with a crowd of people.

“Come on.” Whitney was grinning when she grabbed my hand and drew me up to the crowded bar and ordered us two of the house special, Toxic Brew Margaritas.

They were blood orange and served in giant glasses nearly the size of fishbowls with slices of Tajin-dipped pineapple and maraschino cherries.

“Cheers!” Whitney lifted her glass to me. “Here’s to a memorable night.”

“Cheers.”

“So,” she said, “gimme the goods. He moved out?”

“He did. I told you, it was a temporary thing until he got the security set up.”

“So, he’s gone?” Her eyes got wide as she sipped.

“Not gone, gone. Just not in the house. I think he moved out to a place somewhere nearby. He drives by and checks on things, texts once in a while.” I shrugged, hearing how lame that sounded.

“Huh.”

I turned back to her. “What?” It’s not like Whit to be so lost for words.

“Nothing. It’s just weird.”

“What is?”

She half shrugged and drank, letting me know she was thinking devious thoughts.

“What?”

Finally, she leaned toward me and lowered her voice. “Did you sleep with him, Liv?”

My eyes got big as heat flooded my face. “No!”

“But you wanted to!” She cackled and sat back. “Oh my God. How could you not? Holy hell, that man is smokin’ hot. Honestly, I’m not sure how you kept your hands to yourself, having him under the same roof.” She gave me the side-eye. “Did you at least see him naked? Anything?”

The image of him barely covered in my bath towel came to mind, but I refused to share that with her. “No. Nothing like that. He insisted we keep things professional.”

“Wait...” She finished chewing the cherry in her mouth before focusing on me. “He insisted? That means there was some kind of talk of being unprofessional?” When I took my turn to take a big drink, she grabbed my arm. “Oh. My. God. Olivia Creed. It is fully against best friend code to hold out information like this. Speak, now.”

I nearly choked on my drink with a laugh, wondering why I’d held back. I guess I’d been holding so much back from everyone until this whole thing was over. “Fine. Yes. There were... a couple of times where things could have been unprofessional—” She squealed, but I held up a hand to stop her. “But nothing more than a kiss happened. It was crossing too many lines for him, so he moved out to focus on his job.”

There. I’d said it.

She rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you seen the movie The Bodyguard? That’s pure bullshit.”

“Yeah, well... I think that bodyguard had some feelings,” I murmured.

“Hold the damn phones.” She grabbed both my shoulders and spun me to face her. “You like him, don’t you?” She looked deep into my eyes like she was trying to see something in there. “Holy shit. You’re falling for him.”

“I am not.” Though that was eerily close to what my mom had said.

She laughed. “Like a cement block off a skyscraper, sister. Wow. Never thought I’d see the day. How does it feel?”

“Shitty.”

“Why?”

I took another drink of liquid courage. Might as well spill it now. “Because it doesn’t matter how I feel. He’s as hard to crack as a boulder, and he has no interest in me outside of work. Plus... hello... he barely talks to me.” I spun my glass on the bar. “My mom thinks he’ll figure out what he’s missing eventually.”

Her kohl-lined eyes flitted over my shoulder, then back quickly. “Yeah, I’m sure he will,” she said with a cryptic smirk.

We ordered another round of drinks, and as we waited for them to be poured, I glanced up into the giant mirror behind the bar and caught the eye of a young guy in the crowd behind me. He had a thick mop of dark curls and mysterious eyes. He smiled as he slid in next to me, lifting his hand to catch the bartender’s attention, then ordering a draft beer.

“Hey,” he said, loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Hello.”

He offered a hand, the strobe lights of the dance floor glinting purple off his skin. “My name is Al,” he said with the hint of an accent. Hispanic maybe. It was hard to tell in that lighting, but I thought he may be dark complected.

“Olivia.” I tilted my head to my right. “This is Whitney.”

“Hello there.” She reached across me to shake Al’s hand, her cleavage on full display as she eyed him up and down, clearly not caring if he was a college student since he didn’t look too young. “Do you go to school at Sam?”

He accepted his beer and shook his head with a wry half smile. “Nah. I’m not really the school type. Just passing through town.”

“Ah...” Whitney wiggled her brows at me when he wasn’t looking, then mouthed to me: Ask him to dance.

I shook my head. No way was I about to be that bold.

We sipped our drinks and listened to the music for a bit. After a while, Al took the reins and turned to me. “Dance?”

Whitney about tossed me into his arms.

“Uh, sure.” I took one last long slug of my drink, then set it down before following him to the dance floor, where we were crowded close together just by the sheer number of people out there.

The song was slower with a sexier beat than the one before, so Al’s hand came to rest on my hip as we moved to the rhythm. I could feel his body heat against my chest and smell the beer on his breath as he stared down into my face.

I’d only had one drink, but I could suddenly feel the alcohol warming my stomach and buzzing through my system, making me feel just a bit off-kilter. I reached up and brushed the hair from my cheek, and as I did a green light shone across his face, making him look like a monster... the way he was staring at me...

I stumbled backward, and he caught me.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just . . .”

Both of his hands were now on my hips, dangerously close to my ass, and as people pulsed and danced around us, he stared down at me. I would’ve thought he was going to kiss me except there was something... different in his eyes. Like he was studying me. Waiting for something. Permission, maybe?

Someone bumped into me from behind, pushing me further into him. Misreading the situation, he clutched me tighter. Too tight. I suddenly couldn’t breathe as my vision tunneled. Everything from the past weeks began to suffocate me and I had to get out of there.

Away, away, away.

I couldn’t focus on anything else as I began to shove at his chest, but he wouldn’t let me go. Every sixth sense in my body was screaming at me to run but I couldn’t and that was making it worse. I’d never had a panic attack in public before, and I did not want tonight to be the first.

Then, in the next heartbeat, I found myself ripped from Al’s arms and I felt like I could breathe again.

“Hands off, asshole.”

Shocked, I glanced over at Justin’s seething profile as he stared down Al with a death glare.

“Who the fuck are you?” Al demanded.

“You do not want to find out.” Justin turned to me. “You alright?”

“What are you doing here?” Shock was giving way to relief, but adrenaline was making me start to tremble.

A black brow winged up. “What part of ‘I go where you go’ did you not understand?”

“I...” My brain was short-circuiting, seeing him there after all this time, looking like an avenging god in all black. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to think now that you’ve moved out.”

Without a word, he grabbed my arm to steer me off the dance floor.

“Hey,” Al piped up. “We were still dancing.”

“She’s done,” Justin tossed over his shoulder.

Once we were away from the crowd, I yanked my arm free, making him stop and turn to me with a sigh. “Olivia—”

“No!” I held up a hand. “Don’t you ‘Olivia’ me! You’ve been gone for days, with hardly a word, but always around like some kind of invisible ninja...”

His mouth quirked. “Invisible ninja?”

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

He reached out to move me out of the way as a couple passed us, bringing me close enough to catch his dark ocean and sandalwood scent, making me weak in the knees.

I forced myself to look up into his eyes, which were darker in this lighting, but still clear blue, and they dragged the truth from me. “You let me get attached to you, then you left. Now you just show up here...” I choked back my stupid emotion, blaming it on the alcohol. “I’m just feeling a little whiplashed.”

“I never left,” he confessed, his voice so low, I almost don’t hear it.

“What?”

“You heard me.” His hands were on my waist now, definitely not professional, but just what I wanted.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ve been sleeping in my truck, never more than a mile from your house. I drive by your place and the studio several times every day and night. Sometimes I park outside and keep an eye on things.”

I frowned, my hands clutching his shirt as my mind spun with the booze and his words. “But... why?”

“I think you know why.”

“Justin—”

“It was getting impossible for me to think straight,” he gritted, his fingers curling into the fabric of my dress. “And I need a clear head to do this job. I’ve never blurred the lines as much as I have with you and it’s seriously fucking with my mind.”

“You’re fucking with my mind, too,” I admitted. “The problem is, I have more than just myself to think about.”

“I know that. Fuck, don’t you think I know that?”

“So, what do we do now?”

“Do you want to stay and have a good time with your friend?” he asked, tilting his head toward Whitney, who was chatting up a couple of other women from the dance studio and eye-fucking a bulky guy on the opposite side of the bar.

“Not really.”

“Then I’ll get you home.” He led me over to say goodbye, his hand at the small of my back.

Whitney’s eyes lifted from me to him, then back. “You’re leaving with Mr. Hottie Pants?” she stage-whispered.

I bit back a smile. “Justin is taking me home. You gonna be okay?”

She waved me off. “I’m good. Just water and hot guys for the rest of the night. You two have a good one.” We hugged and she whispered in my ear, “Please get laid,” before she pulled back and wiggled her fingers at him in a farewell.

Outside, I took a deep breath of night air as Justin led me to his truck. He helped me inside, then got in and started the engine.

Before taking off, he glanced over, the definition of seriousness. “Mr. Hottie Pants?”

I burst out laughing. “If the shoe fits.”