Chapter 46
Forty-six
Edwin
I sat at dinner with James, Helena, and the much spoken about but first time seen Earl Lucien Glass.
This was the first friend of James’s I had met in person, and I wasn’t at all surprised that he was every bit as handsome and charming.
More slender in build, clearly a fencer or archer, hair a strawberry blond he kept neatly tied at the nape, with a chiseled jawline.
Helena, I could tell, liked the look of him very much.
Tonight was ostensibly to introduce the two and have a bit of a double date in the process. I wasn’t at all nervous, but I could see James was. After multiple things going wrong—or differently—than he’d expected, he wanted this one to go well.
Personally, I didn’t think he had to worry about it. In my opinion, they were already getting along fabulously.
“I’m relieved to finally meet you both,” Earl Lucien informed us. “James kept sending me gushing letters, and it’s nice to finally put faces to names. All said, do drop formality, would you? Especially you, Edwin. You’re dating my best friend. There’s no need for titles.”
And now I understood why James and Lucien were such good friends. They thought alike. “I’ll do so.”
Helena pointed a finger at me. “You. You obey him and not your princess?”
She was on that again, was she? I sighed. “In an informal setting, I’ll drop your title. Happy?”
“Incredibly so.” Beaming, she went back to her steak. “Lucien, please do the same.”
“Happily. And indulge a nosy question, if you would. Did you really start interning at James’s company?” Lucien’s tone didn’t sound incredulous like most people’s responses. Instead, he sounded intrigued.
Helena cut into her steak, grinning. “I did. I love it. I’d happily work there the rest of my days. I understand you handle the day-to-day in your business as well.”
“It’s the only sensible thing to do. I know most in our circle would prefer to hire managers for that sort of thing, but I’ve also seen those people robbed blind from time to time. A good business owner keeps his finger on the pulse.”
James grumbled, “It’s why I check in weekly with my office, but I admit it’s not the same. I do miss it.”
“Oh, is that why you told me I couldn’t have it when I asked?” Helena batted her eyes at him.
“Hush, you. You’re just stirring up trouble over there.”
Helena did not disagree, grinning before she popped a bite of steak into her mouth.
She’d sparked Lucien’s curiosity again and he asked her, “Did you really?”
“She did.” James groaned, picking up his wineglass. At this rate, he’d end up drinking his dinner. “I told her no. For one thing, I think she should be queen.”
Lucien scoffed and waved a hand. “Won’t happen. Word on the street is you’ll be king next.”
“Noooo,” James wailed, slumping rather theatrically against my shoulder. “I don’t want to!”
Lucien paused and really looked us over. Then his hazel eyes caught mine as he demanded, “Is he quite serious?”
“Perfectly. Everyone wants James to be king except the man himself.”
“Oh. Then you better start running,” Lucien advised his friend bluntly. “If you linger much longer, they’ll chain you to the throne and only let you have bathroom breaks.”
Helena poked him in the shoulder and hissed, “Don’t tell him that, I don’t want to be stuck with the throne either!”
“Ah. I do beg pardon. James, I never said that.”
“Ha ha. I love how you two have known each other not even an hour and are already ganging up on me.” James scowled at both of them. “And to think, I was trying to do you both a favor.”
“You did well, too.” Helena dimpled at him before abruptly turning to Lucien. “You will be my partner for the Founder’s Ball, I hope?”
“I’d like nothing better.” Lucien’s smile lifted his eyes, and he clearly meant it.
Well, these two didn’t need any time at all to become comfortable with one another.
We spent the rest of the dinner either teasing or talking of light topics. It was an easy evening, one I enjoyed very much, although with Helena and Lucien both jabbering with each other, I barely got a word in edgewise.
When the dinner ran down to a close, we meandered outside and waited for our carriages. Lucien volunteered to take Helena home—a front we all saw through, but if he wanted to spend more time with her tonight, Helena had made it obvious she didn’t mind.
James stepped away a few paces to say something to her—who knew what, as the outside air was a little noisy. There was many a person either entering or exiting the restaurant, and any conversation more than two feet away got hopelessly tangled in with someone else’s.
Lucien sidled up next to me, for all the world acting innocent.
“I do hope you know he’s quite head over heels for you,” Lucien informed me without any segue whatsoever.
“Know it? How could I not? He makes it blindingly obvious even for those who don’t care.”
“Heh. Good.” His eyes were sharp on me in the mellow lighting of the streetlights. “James has casually dated before. I heard of some of them, but you’re the first lover of his I’ve met.”
That somehow surprised me…and yet didn’t.
“When he wrote me about you, telling me I’d meet you tonight, he was giddy.
Underneath the excitement, I could tell he was quite happy.
Very confident in his relationship with you.
That’s why I, in turn, was quite interested in meeting you as well.
I say all of this because I want you to understand two things.
One, you are very much the right person for him.
I can see it in how you two interacted tonight. ”
I preened. “I’ll take the compliment, thank you.”
“It’s meant as one, but also an assurance.
If someone dares to say you shouldn’t stay at his side, do not back down.
If James struggles to support you for whatever reason, I’ll be happy to back you both up.
I’ll be blunt—I don’t want either you or James suffering under Queen Beatrice’s ‘good’ intentions. ”
He was a good man, this one. I could see why James adored him.
I softened considerably toward him and hoped, after tonight, I could form a friendship with him of my own.
“Thank you. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
James has safeguarded himself against such a possibility, but I’ll remember and call on you if it does.
I will not lose him. Certainly not to political machinations. ”
“Good. That’s all I wanted to say. My carriage is here, so I’ll be off, but let’s have lunch together at some point, Edwin. I want to get to know you better.”
I smiled. “Likewise. I’ll reach out with some days and times, and we’ll find a moment.”
We walked down the elongated steps just in time for Lucien to offer Helena a hand up into the carriage. He paused after and jabbed a finger into James’s shoulder. “And you. Do not go three months without any contact aside from a letter here or there. How dare you.”
“Yes, yes, I’m a terrible friend.”
“You are. Do better.”
James laughed and made a show of helping Lucien up into the carriage, then dodged a foot as Lucien kicked at him for doing so. Yes, these two were definitely friends.
James looked at me after the carriage took off, curiosity written in bold letters all over his face. “What were you two talking about?”
“He wanted me to know he has our backs if anyone tries to separate the two of us. I see why you like him so much. Lucien is a very loyal friend.”
“Oh, he’s that in spades. Also a deucedly good fighter.”
The way he said this… “Did he fight alongside you in the war?”
“More times than I can count. He’s deadly with a rapier. At any rate, might I stay with you tonight?”
“Of course you may.” I had half expected the question. My house was much closer than the palace, and James had been giving me signals all evening that he was quite in the mood for sex. I was too, so truly, my house was the better choice tonight.
We loaded into the carriage, James giving me a hand up as always. It still amused me, this habit of his, but I didn’t argue. He liked to find ways to put his hands on me, that’s all it really amounted to, so I let him.
Once we were ensconced in the privacy of the carriage, I snuggled in against his side and leisurely kissed him. James was a pleasure to kiss. Whenever he kissed me, I felt his full attention, his desire, his affection. It made for a heady cocktail I basked in.
Truthfully, out of the rather few men I’d dated, none compared to James in terms of affection or…anything, really. This man had so much to give, and he chose me to give it to. It was humbling as well as baffling.
Not for the first time, I wondered why, and since I finally had him alone with a few minutes to spare, I chose to ask. I had asked before, but it had been in front of an audience and he’d given a teasing response. Right now, I wanted a real answer.
“James?”
He tried to snuggle in more. Impossible, really. You couldn’t squeeze air between us just then. “Hmm?”
“Why me?”
His head jerked back so he could see my face. “What do you mean?”
“What did I do, in our first life together, that made you love me so ardently?”
“What did you…do?” he repeated with a blank expression, as if my words were nonsensical.
I canted my head to the side, bemused all over again. Surely he had some reason—at least a moment in which he’d realized his feelings. James, seriously, give me something. “I must have done something? Or you had a moment when you realized it was me you were in love with?”
The first question confused him, clearly, but he had no problem answering the second.
“It was the first night you helped me sleep, actually.” James’s expression turned almost sad; nostalgic, but not in the best of ways.
Like the memory of getting to that point somehow pained him.
“I’d been through a hellish month. I was beyond stressed, beyond tired, but I was so filled with tension I couldn’t rest. I was going on three days of not sleeping more than the occasional catnap when you intervened.
In the sternest tone I’d heard from you—at the time, at least—you ordered me into my own bed, then sat next to me and started reading from a book.
I was so flummoxed by the whole thing, I did as bid.
I think I was too exhausted to really argue, in hindsight.
But I lay there, watching your face as you read to me, and realized I loved you.
You made me incredibly happy in one breath, pained in the next, because here I was engaged to another and couldn’t even imagine confessing my heart to you. ”
This made perfect sense to me. “Your love language is acts of service, I know. Did my many acts of service to you do it?”
“I don’t think it was just that, although I will say it brought you to my attention.”
Also perfectly reasonable.
It did make me wonder, had I loved him in return?
Had my love been more platonic in nature, or had I felt the same romantic call to my own heart?
It was impossible to know, of course; past me wasn’t someone I could confer with.
Still, I had died trying to keep this man alive and sane.
Which said a lot. I couldn’t imagine myself doing all of that because of a job.
I had gone beyond the call of duty multiple times from his account.
If I had to guess…I had loved him just as ardently.
“What were we, star-crossed lovers?” I muttered.
“Not in this life. I won’t stand for it.”
“I’m in agreement there. Oh, we’re here.”
James let us both out, directing the carriage and his knight guards to the palace.
He kept no knights with him, as was his wont when he stayed over.
His knights had protested because arguably, it wasn’t exactly safe.
James had argued it wasn’t like he was causing trouble out here, and few knew where I even lived to look for him.
He’d gotten his way, but I knew the city guard would be alerted and asked to do regular patrols along my street to make sure their prince stayed safe and fine.
We entered through the front door, hanging coats and toeing off shoes. I offered over my shoulder, “How about a nightcap?”
“Sounds splendid.”
I left him to his own devices in my living room, pouring us both a drink before returning. Only to find him staring quite intently at something that was flat in shape, like a picture—
Nimus save me, nope.
I put both drinks down quickly on a side table and lunged for the sketch I had made of him weeks ago. “James! Put that down.”
Being taller, he held it out of my reach and kept staring. “I had no idea you were this good of an artist.”
“Hardly that, I barely dabble, and will you please give that back!”
“It’s quite good. I’m trying to think of a time when you would have sketched it—ah.” A light of pure glee entered his eyes. “When I slept under your desk. You drew this then. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you’re right, dammit, now put it down.”
“Why are you embarrassed? Hmmm?” He finally put it down, on the mantel, like it should be shown to the world. “It really is quite good.”
“You are absolutely impossible.” I groaned, rubbing my forehead. “What can I do or promise to get you to ignore that sketch?”
He leaned in and smacked a kiss against my lips. “Not a blessed thing.”
I should have left it safely locked in my desk drawer. I saw that now. Hindsight and all. Was it too late to stuff it back in the drawer?
Reading him easily, I deadpanned, “You’re going to frame it and hang it in your bedroom, aren’t you?”
“Well, I can’t leave it here. You’ll get rid of it.”
Fuck a duck, of course he’d divine my ulterior motives. I could only blame myself for that.
Only one tactic on hand might get me out of this. I leapt into it wholeheartedly.
I put both arms around his neck and leaned in to nibble on his neck and just under his ear. “James, don’t you want to leave it here at least?”
“You”—he groaned, head already tilting to give me access—“are so incorrigible. No, I do not trust you with it.”
I slid a knee between his legs and pressed up, grinding against him. “You sure of that?”
He choked back another groan, eyeing me as if I wasn’t to be trusted. “We’ll negotiate this later.”
Oh, we’d negotiate. After I wore him out and the picture “mysteriously” disappeared. For now, though, I had a willing man at hand, and I was absolutely taking advantage of him.