Chapter 35
35
Priscilla
Waiting for certainty is just fear in disguise.
-Cilla’s Post-it note
"He gave you a week to think things through?" Zoey picks up a bunch of daisies and pays for them before sliding them into her bag.
We’re at the Columbia Road flower market, which is open only on Sundays. Tucked away in a corner of the East End behind a row of bustling city cafés, this place is a gem. Florists, vendors, and artists set up shop under twinkling string lights, selling the most stunning flowers. It’s one of my favorite corners of the city to come to when I want to think. Something about being surrounded by flowers is so up-lifting.
"Yep." I pick up a peony and smell it. "Flowers improve mental clarity. I read it in The Power of Presence. And right now, I can use all the thinking help I can get."
"Whoa, look at the size of that rock." Harper grabs hold of my wrist. Her gaze is trained on the ring I haven’t been able to take off.
"It’s nothing." I snatch my hand back, and she lets me.
"That’s not nothing. It’s a massive Tiger’s Eye engagement ring,"
"Hmm." Harper shoots me a strange look. "These are great inspiration for the edible flowers I need to bake into this new concept cake I’m planning. Though that’s not the only reason I’m here."
"I know." I send her a grateful look. When I sent Zoey an SOS message, she called up her best friends, whom I also know from university. I’ve kept in touch with all of them, Zoey more than the others. I’m grateful to have them here, though. In the five days since that conversation with Tyler, I’ve turned into a nervous wreck. Who knew that mulling over whether I should accept a wedding proposal from this hotter-than-Hades man I’ve never gotten over would be so agonizing?
Grace hands over a one-hundred-pounds note to a flower seller and picks up a bunch of roses.
"Those are gorgeous, honey, but don’t you think a hundred quid on a bunch is a tad too much?" Harper murmurs.
"It’s worth it." Grace buries her nose in the flowers—a mix of red, pink and yellow, and they are spectacular, I have to admit. But a hundred bucks for the lot? Blimey. I rub at my temple.
It’s not cheap living in this city. Not having access to my father’s money brought home how challenging it is to pay your bills, despite having a fairly decent job. Maybe Tyler has a point. I may not place that much importance on money, but not having it certainly made me appreciate how much it can cushion the effects of the cost of living.
We continue walking between the flower displays. The air itself is filled with the scent of myriad blooms. I keep drawing it into my lungs. Normally, it would help me calm down, but this time, it's not helping. I sigh and stop in front of a florist. This one specializes in wedding bouquets. It feels like a sign. No, it’s not. Stop reading meaning into random things. I'm about to move on when Zoey stops next to me. She glances at a particularly enticing bouquet made of lilies, tulips and eucalyptus. "This is gorgeous, hmm?"
When I don’t answer, she shoots me a sideways glance. "You okay?"
I manage a nod, unable to tear my eyes off the wedding bouquet, but also wanting to move on.
"These are gorgeous, right?" The woman selling them smiles. The sign above her pop-up stand says, The Tilting Tulip.
"That’s an interesting name," I murmur.
"Can’t take credit for it. The owner came up with it," she says cheerfully.
"Inspired by Don Quixote?" I hazard a guess.
She laughs. "You’re right. We specialize in tulips." She nods at the assortment of flowers in front of her. "Are you looking for wedding bouquets?" She picks up one made with roses, tulips and baby’s breath, and holds it out. "It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?"
I stare at the flowers in fascination.
"Go on, you can hold it. Are you getting married? We specialize in flowers for weddings."
"Umm… What?" I shake my head. "No, I’m not. Uh, thank you, but I have to go."
I spin around and walk off like I’ve been stung.
"Priscilla, hold on." Zoey catches up. She tucks her arm though mine, "Are you okay? You seem perturbed."
I stay silent.
"Was it the wedding bouquet? Did it remind you of the possible outcome of your deliberation."
When I don’t say anything, she takes it as assent.
"I assume, you’re no closer to making your decision?"
“I’ve been reading through my self-help books, trying to get guidance on making this decision. But so far none of the strategies they’ve suggested have helped.” I shake my head, feeling defeated.
"It’s understandable." Harper walks over to bracket me from the other side. "This is for the rest of your life, after all." Harper hesitates. "It is, isn’t it?"
"Well…" I keep walking. "It is a marriage of convenience. This way, he gets to fulfill his grandfather’s requirements that he get married, and I get to be in Serene’s life. And of course, marrying him means I never have to worry about paying a bill for the rest of my life.”
"These Davenports sure do love their marriages of convenience. Why can’t one of them keep things simple and come right out and say they love the woman and want to marry her and woo her?" Grace grumbles.
"What do you mean?" I glance her way. "Did his other brothers have similar arrangements with their wives before they got married?"
"Nathan and Skylar, then Quentin and Vivian, not to mention Knox and June, and recently, Princess Aurelia and Ryot. All their marriages started as an 'arrangement.'" She uses air quotes. "We’ve had a ringside view of their love stories. And they are love stories," Grace concedes. "They are, all of them, sickeningly in love—despite how they started out."
"Hmm…" I stop in front of a florist selling gardenias. I can’t stop myself from purchasing a bunch. I slide them into my bag, and we inch forward. “Did all of them also decline to have a prenup before they married their wives?”
Silence descends. I glance around to find them watching me with expressions that vary from curiosity to surprise to downright disbelief.
“Bish, is that what he said? No prenup?” Grace finally asks.
“Umm. Yes? And he kept insisting the marriage is for real. Which I suppose it is. I mean the ring is definitely real, right?” I stare at it again, and sigh.
“Did he put a timeline on this marriage at all?” Zoey tilts her head.
“Nope. By all accounts the proposal is genuine.”
“So, the man insists he wants to marry you for keeps. And that there’s no prenup?” Grace blinks.
“Yeah, it seems too good to be true, right?”
She searches my face. “Is that what you think? That it all feels too good? You do have feelings for this guy don’t you?”
I nod. “But he hasn’t said he loves me. Not yet, at least.”
“Men.” She rolls her eyes. “They wouldn’t know love if it bit them in the arse. You know that, right? Not that I’m pushing you to marry him or anything, but by all accounts, it seems to me, he really wants to marry you. I mean, the timing is a little inconvenient, because he needs to marry to inherit, but other that”—she shrugs—“it seems like he really means what he said.”
"Maybe you should flip a coin? It’s as good a way to decide as any." Harper offers.
Zoey looks at her in surprise. "I would not have guessed for you to be this… flippant?"
“Cute.” She snorts. "When I’m faced with a choice, I’m often paralyzed, I find a coin has often helped me make a choice which, in retrospect, has always proved right." She pulls a coin from her purse and holds it out. "Want me to toss?"
I stare at it in fascination. I’m tired of going around in circles. Of having my thoughts loop in on themselves. Of feeling like I’m in stasis. I need to make a choice soon… May as well be by tossing a coin.
"Do it." I nod.
"Heads, you marry him. Tails, you…walk away?"
"Tails, I walk away from his life. And being nanny to Serene," I say slowly.
"Does it have to be all or nothing?" Zoey frowns.
"Of course, she can’t stay there if she has feelings for him and the little girl, and then, she has to watch some other woman take her place," Harper bursts out, then reddens. "Sorry, didn’t mean to phrase it like that and make you feel like you’re caught in a bind."
"It’s true, though." I won’t be able to stay on and watch him marry someone else. Because marry, he will. He won’t risk losing Serene’s legacy.
"Here goes." Harper starts to toss the coin, but I grab it from her. "Don’t. I know what I have to do."