19. Chapter 19
Chapter nineteen
Cooper
Vivian
Gag. Someone destroyed our guest bathroom toilet last night.
Sutton
Ew, who do you think did it?
Vivian
No idea, but they didn’t even bother trying to unclog the mess they made.
Sutton
Cooper, your stomach was mad messed up last night until it wasn’t…
Cooper
Lie.
Nate
It’s okay, Coop, friends tell each other these kinds of things. Besides, you owe it to me after lying about the thing with you and a certain blond “friend.”
Sutton
Are you talking about us boinking again? Get over your sexual attraction to Cooper, man. It’s not going to happen.
Vivian
Sutton’s right. But so is Nate, and as his wife, I am entitled to know everything he knows about you.
Sutton
And as her best friend, I am also, by default, entitled to know the same things.
Cooper
That’s not how that works.
Sutton
Sure it is. Now fess up.
Vivian
Tell us. Tell us. Tell us.
Nate
The tribe has spoken, Cooper. You have no choice but to share with the group.
Sutton
Ooh, I think he is scared.
Vivian
Probably embarrassed.
Sutton
Come on, Cooper, fess up to being the party pooper already.
Cooper
FUCK you guys.
Nate
Did you or did you not clog the toilet at my house?
Cooper
Why am I friends with any of you?
Sutton
That doesn’t sound like an admission of innocence.
Vivian
She’s right. You sound very guilty.
Cooper
I didn’t even piss while I was there, and you all know it.
Nate
Do we, though?
Cooper
YES! Yes, you do. I did not clog your damn toilet.
Sutton
Me thinks the gentleman doth protest too much.
Cooper has left the group chat.
I’m on cloud fucking nine.
Sutton and I are doing this. Whatever this is. All I know is that she is acknowledging that it’s more than the sex. That we are an us. Maybe not officially, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
Walking out of Sutton’s room, I’m greeted with the usual morning sounds of Sutton and Dillon arguing. It’s been like this for weeks. The two of them go back and forth every morning. It’s childish and immature, but I love seeing the look in his eyes when he loses the verbal sparring match with her, which is every day.
Sutton has her back to me as she faces the douche who’s sitting on the couch with both arms extended across the back as he gives her a smug grin.
I lean down, giving Sutton a quick kiss as she hands me one of the two cups of coffee she’s holding. It’s become a new routine for me to shower first while Sutton makes our coffee, then sneaks a laxative into the rest of the pot.
She gives me a conspiratorial look just as a gurgling noise fills the room.
I quickly glance at Sutton as the corner of her lip tilts up for a second before going flat again.
Dillon slowly sits up, his breathing becoming heavier.
“You okay?” I ask as he places a hand over his stomach, his forehead bunched.
“Fine.” He swallows, leaning forward and gripping the edge of the couch.
“Okay, like I was saying, stop stealing our—”
The noise pierces the room again, and my eyes snap to Dillon’s hands now back on his stomach.
“Seriously, Dillon?”
“What? It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose,” he shouts.
“Okay, well stop stealing our food.”
“I’ll stop stealing your food when you stop being such a bitch.”
I bite my tongue. I know if I react to his name-calling or attitude toward her, it will only fuel him into doing it more. He’s like a teenager. The more you tell him no, the more he wants to do it. Which is why he’s still stealing our food and is now about to shit his pants due to the high fiber and healthy dose of laxatives Sutton’s been adding to the leftovers.
Sutton rolls her eyes. “So never?”
Dillon smirks at her, but it’s less effective as he also wipes sweat from his brow.
You’d think by now, the man would’ve begun to build up a tolerance or learn to avoid the drink or food that keeps causing him gastrointestinal distress, but alas, Dillon isn’t the brightest tool.
He sprints out of the room only moments later as Sutton chuckles to herself.
“What’s got you so happy this morning?” I set my mug down and pull her against my chest.
“I stole all the toilet paper from his bathroom.” She grins maniacally.
“Damn, baby, you’re vicious. Remind me never to cross you.”