16
Everything Ends
Amanda
Harriette sees me first and gives me a disappointed frown.
My low heels, subdued ill-fitting skirt suit, and hair wrapped in a bun image doesn’t please her at all.
“He subdued you that quickly? I’m disappointed.”
I glance around and hurry to the desk. “New tactic, same game.”
She blinks in surprise as I give her a regal nod and go to the elevator.
I spend the ride up doing old breathing exercises and trying to find that mysterious center therapists talk about on TV.
I’m surprised that no one is waiting for me at the desk today. The receptionist, Vanessa, gives me a relieved sigh.
“Thank God you’re dressed normally. Mr. Matthias is in a bad mood today.”
My brows go up at the friendly banter. When did we become allies? Probably the second he lost his temper this morning.
“I’m sure it will be fine,” I test out with a customer service smile.
“Yeah, as long as you don’t pull half the things you normally do,” she says begrudgingly. It seems as if she doesn’t want to like me, but I’m forcing her to anyway. It’s a weird way of getting to know someone. I might like it.
“I’m on good behavior today,” I can’t help that my smile widens to become mischievous. “Tomorrow is up in the air though.”
She grins and mutters, “Get in there. Please. He acts less like a robot when you’re around.”
Less like? I don’t want to know how it could get worse. Or how anyone is convinced I positively affect his moods.
Faint voices spill out in muffled tones from the closed door. I open one as sedately as possible, say a vague good morning without looking at anyone, and sit down to work.
By now I know it’s all information about random seizures of property. A lot of them. But they aren’t in any particular order. As if whoever had the files originally threw them in the air and put them in the box however they landed. Along with that are property development plans.
There are at least thirty properties so far. All clustered together, bought out and demolished to build various things. A golf course. A giant mansion with acres of land around it. The thing is, I never knew about any of this, and it supposedly all went through Loser. It would be difficult to miss that much money moving around in our joint account. Wouldn’t it?
“Amanda.”
I paste a fake smile on and look at Matthias.
“Yes?”
“I bought you new highlighters,” he smirks and tosses me a package of cheap markers. They land on the desk and mess up the paperwork as I watch, trying not to tense up.
“Return the ones you have to Sarah.”
It’s the first shot fired, and I’m not losing. I refuse to rise to this bait.
“Of course,” I nod and pick up the two I’ve been using. I straighten my skirt and leave the office without another word.
I deep-breathe through the elevator ride both ways, but I drop the highlighters in the filing room instead of handing them back. It still counts.
Dead silence greets me as I return, my eyes on the floor, and sit down to open the new package.
“Nice skirt,” Cade says in a taunting tone. “A little short, though, isn’t it?”
I keep my expression bland as I meet his eyes. “Should I go home and change?”
The hazel orbs narrow and slide toward Matthias, so I follow his gaze. The robot boss has leaned back in his chair, watching me with a smug smile.
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” he says after a long, thoughtful pause.
I go back to work without another word.
It’s a lot harder to be submissive than I thought it would be. I did this for a long time before without much issue. The freedom I’ve had in the last few months has made me reckless. I keep imagining tying Matthias down to his desk and beating him up. It helps, but not much.
The ongoing silence is driving me nuts. They aren’t talking, and they don’t have the TV on as a distraction either. It’s me, being passive and bland, trying not to fall asleep on the pages in front of me. Oh, another lawyer's name. At least he got similar colors, not that it’s hard.
A discrete chime comes from my phone, reminding me that it’s lunchtime. I gather my lunch and purse to leave.
“Where are you going?” Matthias asks calmly. When I look back, he’s frowning like I just interrupted some deep thought.
“To lunch,” I remind him with a placid smile.
“That reminds me, I need to make sure Blake is still on for golf this afternoon,” Matthias tilts his head to watch my reaction. Beside him Ace’s nostrils flare as he glares like his eyes are made of lasers ready to cut him down.
The mention of Loser firms up my resolve. He knows it’s a weakness, and he’s going to exploit it mercilessly. Yeah, the jab hits where it hurts, but I don’t have to show it.
“Well, be sure to eat something, too,” I nod and smile. “I’ll be back in an hour. Enjoy your golf time.”
I don’t wait for a response before I gently close the door. Now I have to find someplace to eat that no one can find me. I can rant under my breath in private to get this tension out. I end up pacing around the carport. There are a few fancy cars there, in a VIP section that makes me roll my eyes. Behind a guarded gate are shiny, expensive vehicles, and I can guess who they belong to. I eat my sandwich propped up against one of the concrete supports, watching to see if they leave.
They don’t, proving that calling his bluff was a good idea. Or Loser canceled on him.
My alert to go back chimes, and I wince. I don’t wanna.
But no. My ass traipses back to the desk and starts working again.
The day is completely uneventful and boring as hell. Who am I torturing again? Matthias seems perfectly fine with this. Mikael sucks at this game.
The chime that five has dragged its butt around goes off an eternity later. I make sure everything is nicely put away and gather my things.
“Must you have that alarm go off every five seconds?”
My surprised look isn’t faked as I watch Matthias’ jaw twitch. Ace is behind him with a death glare. He looks ready to throw him out of his chair.
I picked the most discreet chime there was and turned the volume down. This guy is looking for things to nitpick.
My eyes move to Mikael, who is biting his inner cheek to contain his laughter.
Holy shit. This worked?
“I’m sorry,” I say meekly. “I’ll leave it off tomorrow.”
I don’t say any more than that as I make my way to the door.
“Stop,” he snaps in his icy tone and my feet stop. I turn to face him with a plastic smile.
“Was there something else, Mr. Matthias?”
“Yes,” his eyes are narrow, and his lips are thin. “I’d like you to apologize to Cade and Jake for being rude to them.”
This motherfucker.
I try my best not to look as furious as I feel. I want to blow up. The scalding heat that’s rising up my neck doesn’t help either. I turn to the pair of idiots on the couch after a slight hesitation.
They both are watching me. Cade with a sly grin of anticipation and Jake with his sweet smile, pretending to be innocent.
“I’m sorry for treating you badly. It won’t happen again.” I almost choke on the words as I force them out. I’m proud of the fact that my customer service voice took over, and it covers the hesitation with false humility.
Cade’s brows furrow, his smile wavering. Jake gives Matthias a look, which gives me a flash of the weird darkness all his fake joy is hiding. Neither of them looks pleased.
“Did it hurt to get that off your chest?”
Cade’s smile disappears altogether, and he turns a stony expression on Matthias at the question.
I’m going to win this farce if it kills me. The thought of walking out with my middle fingers raised to the sky is so tempting. A last word kind of thing. I force myself to think of the money. Even if he can’t help with a lawyer, the money will get me into a new phone plan and closer to saying goodbye to Loser Two.
“It did,” I tell him with that fake smile still plastered on my face. “But you’re right. I’d rather us all get along like professionals than be at odds. Thank you.”
Adding in the thanks almost makes me gag. This routine seems very familiar to me. I did this every day with Loser, and the effects are taking their toll. Is this battle worth all the progress I’ve made in liberating myself from this mindset? Now that I know it’s there, my skin is itching like I’m wearing wool in summer. I need to shrug this act off.
Matthias’ eyes narrow on me, his brow going down slightly. When he doesn’t say anything I shift in discomfort. I want out of here ASAP.
“Is that everything?” I prod as gently as I can.
“Yes,” he snaps and refocuses on his paperwork, dismissing me.
“Have a good night, everyone,” I flash that smile at all of them and calmly get on the elevator.
I feel more exhausted than I should. Yeah, I got a lot done, but my feet should not be dragging this much.
Harriette stops me as I’m exiting the building by calling my name.
“Amanda.”
Her strident tone spins me around quickly. Finally, something normal to contend with.
I’m elated until my eyes land on the vase of roses on the desk. My stomach sinks because it’s the exact bouquet Loser sent me a few days before our marriage blew up in my face. It’s even the same vase.
A feeling of pressure hits my chest. I don’t want to go anywhere near the innocent flowers.
“Hey,” I say cautiously to hide the fact that I’m rooted to the spot and unwilling to come closer.
“These are for you, and I’m allergic. Take them home.”
My stomach churns. I can’t respond because I feel like smashing them into pieces.
“Hello?” She raises a graying eyebrow impatiently.
I finally get closer and see an envelope stuffed between the blooms. I recognize the handwriting and the use of that hated nickname. Mandy .
“Throw the card away and give them to someone else.” My voice comes out dull. It’s a complete one-eighty from my reaction the last time I received them.
Ace’s words are circling around in my head.
“He’s blocking me in.”
She frowns, blinking in surprise. “What?”
“Just dump them in the trash,” I shake my head and hurry away.
I’m halfway home when my shoulders finally slump, the tension leaving for a minute. I’m left with oppressive thoughts about my life and the confusion of how to fix it.
Then, because I needed even more reasons to be upset, I have an envelope of pictures waiting for me. I’m ready to quit it all and move to Alaska at this point.