19
Lovesong
Jake
It’s easy to pass by Ace. He’s disappointing me. How is sitting in his truck watching her bedroom window guarding her? Is he being the polite version of a stalker? If that’s the case, why bother?
I’ve been to the complex several times but never gone inside. A little tease to myself to take my time. It was a mistake.
She left Friday and arrived at her apartment without leaving. Cade has finally caught on that I’m shadowing her and demanded I return home. He’s likely afraid I will scare her off if I get caught, as if I would let that happen.
Things have taken a downturn all week. At first, it was clear that she was instigating a ploy to get under Gabe’s skin. Playing meek and mild with a dash of innocence attached. But Gabe’s insistence on winning has pushed things too far. Though we haven’t met Blake since the lunch on Tuesday, Gabe has been telling her they have outings every day.
While she believes we’re having lunch, we have been investigating all of her current woes. The landlord claims he has no idea what she is talking about. Blake has not purchased the complex, and the only reason he knows the name is that the police were called out for his damaged vehicle.
The officers on site were easy to call away, and the report disappeared. None of us did that, and I haven’t been able to locate the hacker who wiped the system. Due to South's influence, I’m assuming it was Shade.
Checking into the lawyers she’s called has netted similar results. No one has heard from her. If I hadn’t seen her clear defeat in the library, I might have believed it. When I mentioned this, I got several thoughtful looks but no decision on whether she knew I was following her.
So many things aren’t adding up, and Gabe has been taking his frustrations out on her. He thinks she’s lying about it all, which seems plausible due to the instant rebuttal of her claims from multiple parties. Something isn’t right here, and he’s too infatuated and furious about it to see it.
Instead of calling in one of his lawyers, he’s leaving her dangling in the wind to exert pressure. He’s expecting her to beg for his help at any point.
He’s single-handedly forcing her to view us in the same light as her ex. As if she needs more reason to despise us all. It’s obvious that we are not what we seem. Ace said she believes the mafia rumors. So now we appear even worse. She doesn’t know us well enough yet to convince her otherwise.
We have all seen her rapid descent into her own mind, and none of us have been able to halt it. The only ones who still believe she’s unfazed are Mikael and Gabe.
She’s effectively shut us out so her doubts can consume her.
Ace, concerned over the changes, decided to stop by and get her out of her comfort zone. Shake some sense into her. Bring back the fire.
She was gone, and she stayed gone.
She didn’t show up at class either, alerting Cade and me that something was wrong. Shade watched for her with a scowl with South waiting right next to him. After thirty minutes of it, she gave him a deep kiss and left him floundering with a hard-on he had to sit down to conceal. A lot of angry texting followed.
Though Ace broke in and saw her belongings, he was still convinced that she had run. He didn’t call Mikael or Gabe about it. No. He called Cade and I instead. An unexpected team-up since Mikael is his go-to, much like Cade is mine. Because we’ve seen what is happening and refuse to support it in any way, not that she’s noticed during her withdrawal.
None of us had been able to find her, no matter where we looked.
When he called to report, he found her at home around three in the morning, passed out, and reeking of alcohol, it decided me.
No more passive waiting for her attention. No more letting her out of my sight when she leaves us.
Not to mention the fact that her drunken state with no safety parameters in place has triggered Ace in the worst way.
His sister died from that kind of innocent-seeming fun. Too drunk to walk in a straight line and deciding to walk home alone, she was met with a gang of men who decided to attack her. They assaulted her and left her to die in an alley alone. While Ace was busy at work with no idea anything was wrong.
They paid for it, of course. The extreme violence of his retribution caught Matthias’ eye, and the rest is history.
Perhaps that is why he’s in his truck grinding his teeth—so he doesn’t take his rage out on her.
I don’t have the same qualms.
Entering from the side door makes me sigh in frustration. This building is a security nightmare, and the most valuable thing I’ll ever know is here. A few broken lock pins and voila. Peace is achieved for the moment, and the exit is ruined. I’ll use a window to leave when I’m ready.
The stairs are easy for me to glide up without making a sound. My skill at stealth isn’t needed this late at night. The silent walk is a habit I won’t break. It’s saved my life too many times. No matter how much Cade insists it’s no longer necessary, something inside me doesn’t believe. It might never be believed. Safety is not a guarantee. Ever.
Someone in the hallway of the apartments is watching a murder documentary. I stifle a laugh at the irony of being surrounded by evil and choosing to believe it will never happen to you. As if the violence is contained on TV and will never pour out. If only life could be willed that way.
The volume is loud enough that I can’t tell if Amanda is still asleep. That will change as soon as I get the cameras set up, but for now, I’ll have to risk it.
Ace says she claimed not to sleep well. Here’s hoping she’s drunk enough to stay asleep. If she’s awake, this rendezvous will end vastly different. And please me more. She can see me up close and personal with no escape.
Her locks make my lips flatten in annoyance. Ace didn’t mention the abysmal security. I should have checked this place out. He’s slipping badly, his only focus on her. He’s intent on keeping her, not just for himself but for Gabe and Mikael as well. While leaving Cade and I in the cold. That’s changed recently, but might not last. Not that it will stop me, no matter how many punches or lectures I get.
She’s asleep. I can make out the lump of her form in the bed easily without a shade over the bedroom window. She’s face down and fully dressed, shoes included. It gives me a chance to take my time.
The place is barren. A single room without anything separating the kitchen from the meager mattress she has on the floor. Walled away is a tiny shower and toilet with a pathetic excuse of a sink. Her banking information is hidden in the medicine cabinet. Why here, of all places?
There’s a closet with a meager amount of clothes. Her cabinets have the bare minimum of food, which makes my eyes narrow. As horrible as this place appears, it's still shelter. As empty as the cabinets are, she still has food. She’s focused only on the necessities, preparing herself for something.
I’ve lived in worse hovels. I may be rolling in money now, but it wasn’t always the case. I appreciate her simplicity and focus on the things required for survival. It’s cute that she thinks a bed and sheets are a necessity, though.
Once I have her, she won’t have to worry about any of this again. I’ll take care of it all whether she likes it or not. I’m already hard anticipating all the fights we’ll have about my insistence on taking care of her. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Her phone is first. A new one, proving that her previous phone had been cut off. I’m sure Gabe will find a way to turn it into an act. I clone it and set up a tracking app, opening the phone by scanning her sleeping face. Now, there won’t be any searches. I’ll have her in the palm of my hand any time I have a concern. She has very few contacts listed. Mom, Dad, and a few names that are gibberish with emojis attached.
I place the cameras to give me the best views of the apartment. Then, I open the app on my phone to verify that I have everything set up perfectly. I have enough angles that there’s nowhere she can hide from me. I have a clear shot of her on the bed that makes a smile of satisfaction overtake my face. The temptation of her becomes too much to control, and I send the app to the background and feast my eyes on her in the flesh.
The complacency of knowing she’ll be at work has spoiled us all. Even though I’m ending that now, I’m as much to blame as any of us for not having a more in-depth knowledge of what she does in her downtime.
I’m relieved that the pretense of my quiet acceptance will be over now. I’d feel sorry for her if the emotion had a chance to eclipse this feral need I have for her.
I can smell the alcohol, an infuriating amount. Cigarette smoke. She obviously went to a bar. Somewhere men could put their hands on her. Without a single one of us there to cut them off for even breathing in her direction.
I take her shoes off gentle enough she barely stirs. Then, her socks. I spotted a laundry basket in the shape of a trash bag inside the closet earlier. The amount of clothes inside isn’t enough to make a full week.
While I’m there, I go over her clothes. Unflattering items that cover her beauty with dreary colors. Jeans soft enough to prove her love for them. Shirts and tennis shoes. And panties.
My lungs do an involuntary spasm when I see them. Amanda is fire on the outside. But inside, where she can hide it, she’s a soft pink panty with a bow on the back kind of woman. I pocket one without a second thought.
I’m careful to remain out of sight of the window. If Ace sees something, he’ll investigate. He won’t be able to resist that much temptation.And then he would linger, watching her, just like I am.
I crouch to reach her side as she lies there. She’s deeply asleep. The vague bags that were beginning under her eyes at work have begun to fade. Maybe a night to relax is what she needed. Next time, it will be with us.
Cade can persuade her. He can persuade anyone. It’s his talent and the reason he got paired up with me in the first place. Someone to babysit me and keep me in line. For the most part, it’s worked. Since I saw Amanda? Not so much.
I kneel by her and rest my head next to hers on the pillow to watch her up close. If she woke up right now how would she react? What would I see? Fear? Relief knowing it’s me? Or anger?
The moment I saw her standing nervously on the mats with the smallest frown and looking sweet as a lamb, I wanted her. Amanda is not the type of woman to hide. I knew that immediately. Her fire was locked down tight inside her, and I wanted to know why. And then her eyes met mine, and it sealed everything for me.
I gave her the same practiced smile I use on everyone. None of my routine has changed over the years, so it’s become a natural reaction. She didn’t smile back. In fact, her little brows furrowed, and her eyes sharpened. She saw the smile for the fake portrayal it was in an instant. Her brown eyes saw me so deep I felt scratched raw from the inside out. One look and I was naked in front of her with no protection. Vulnerable. How?
Her expression turned wary, and then she turned away.
Yes, she saw everything inside me. Enough to be afraid because she knew.
Luring her friends in was easy. They’re blind to everything but sex and men rich enough to spoil them. Something I usually prefer because they can be pushed aside easily. Not after seeing her. When I pieced myself together after that look, it left cracks that nothing but her would fill.
She ignored it. Ignored me. It didn’t matter that she treated everyone else the same. If she made me raw, she should damn well feel the same. I wouldn’t stop until she did. I’m not going emotionally bare alone.
The ugly, untrue words Cade and I have been feeding her made her even more distant. It should have brought that fire roaring right at us. I was waiting for it. Panting for her rage. She gave me nothing.
Cade tried brushing her off to me. He thinks I don’t know how his eyes followed her. Or how many times he took a step toward her to help fix her stance. He’s as hyper-aware of her as I am. I still wonder if he felt that burning gaze hit what’s left of his soul, too, but I won’t ask. If he asked me the same I wouldn’t answer. Whatever Amanda found in me is hers now. I don’t want her to give it back.
I touch the soft hairs that have escaped the sloppy bun at the back of her head. The clip holding it up is easy to remove, and I get to see her hair down for the first time. She lets out a soft sigh as if the restriction was holding her back from sleep. Her pink lips part right in front of me, tempting me.
Time to go.
I slink to the door and make it to the side exit when a shadow passes me, unaware of my presence. Ace is silent as he goes up the stairs. I watch him from the darkness with a smirk. Looks like he’s not the polite stalker now, is he? He’s just as hooked as all the rest of us.
About damn time he gave in.
I think I’ll leave through the landlord’s office. I can take a look through there as well.