21
Moth
Amanda
I start stealing Sarah’s highlighters again. If Gabriel notices, he doesn’t say anything. Ace does and he smirks about it every time I pull one out of my purse. If it isn’t dry by the time I’m done for the day, I take it home and color all over any piece of paper I can find until it is. I’m hoping that she’ll show up at some point and throw a fit. I already bought some noise-canceling headphones in preparation. I’m going to slide them on as soon as she comes in and pretend to work while Gabriel deals with it. It’s only a matter of time.
Some subtle changes are happening in the office. Everyone seems more relaxed with my presence than they did before. Ace and Mikael are out more often than not. They say they’re running errands, and I don’t ask any questions. For all I know, they’re shaking people down for money.
Jake and Cade tend to linger, though. At first, it’s annoying and I’m convinced that Gabriel is doing it on purpose. He takes a break to watch my temper tantrums too often for it to be a coincidence.
Cade makes a point to apologize every day, and I make a point to smirk and tell him to try again. He seems sincere this time. He’s making an effort to get to know me that I rebuff constantly. It makes him mad, but after a cool-off period, he tries again. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit.
Not to mention that he stares at me from the couch with the look of a man trying to solve a puzzle. It cracks me up.
He also pulls up a chair at my desk and plays a little footsie with me without changing his expression. It’s a sly flirtation that I’m not sure what to do with. I could always stomp on his foot, but I doubt that would stop him. He’d see it as a challenge. I try to pretend it isn’t happening and relish the flirty vibes while he grills me about the things I’m interested in.
Jake doesn’t apologize at all. Instead, he buys me little gifts and drops them off without a word to me. He brings in breakfast and plates it to bring to me like a butler. He does the same with lunch. His friendly grin never wavers.
Out of all of them, it’s Jake that leaves me uneasy. His innocent guise is a front. I don’t know what’s underneath that, and I don’t want to find out. He screams spy to me. Bad vibes and red flags all tucked neatly behind an eager grin. I try to ignore him as best I can, but he makes it difficult with the gifts he gives. It’s like he knows me well enough to understand what I need before I do.
Mikael is nice and talks around me more. I like his voice. The rough tones betrayed by his kind words. I would never have imagined he could be so sweet underneath all the glares. Sometimes, I catch him watching me, but his eyes jerk away as soon as I notice. He seems embarrassed every time. It’s adorable.
He rides the elevator down to walk me out of the building every day now. At first, I think he’s checking for flowers. Until I notice that every elevator ride, he stands a little closer to me. He hasn’t gotten close enough to touch me yet, but he’s getting there. I feel dainty and weak-kneed in his presence. He hasn’t even touched me, and I’m anticipating it with everything in me. I can’t help it.
On the other end of the spectrum, Ace touches me every chance he gets. I’ve gotten used to him playing cards with Jake at random times. Sometimes, he tries to draw me into a game. It gets shut down by Gabriel every time. He ends up playing solitaire next to me at my desk. I can see how he got his name now. I asked him if Ace was his nickname, but he gave me a wink and said his Mama knew what he was born to be.
He’s always waiting in the parking lot to drive me to work. Sometimes, he looks like he slept in his truck, but that has to be my imagination. Right? Why would he be sleeping out there? Or is he sleeping in his truck to watch someone else?
I cut those thoughts off every time they come up. I don’t need to be involved with them any more than I already am. Plus, I’m starting to get a feeling of dread, like a shoe is going to drop from somewhere, and I’m not sure why.
I haven’t gotten any flowers. The eviction letters have stopped. Everything has gone back to pseudo-normal, but something feels off. A type of pressure is building around me like I’m stuck waiting for a thunderstorm with no clouds in the sky. It’s making me more snippy than usual. Not that Gabriel minds.
He is eager to snark back at me. Sometimes, he manages to get me to back off, and sometimes he doesn't. It's a push and pull that I’m starting to like too much. I’ve caught myself fantasizing about shutting him up by sliding under his desk. I’m pretty sure he’s attracted to me, too, with the way he looks at me sometimes.
My hesitation in acting on any of this has several demonic heads that won’t shut up. One, I’m still married. It’s an idiotic thought when Loser obviously had no problems going home with other women. But I thought it was real, and those feelings are hard to shake. I feel guilty for entertaining the idea of being with any of them. Yeah, I’ve kissed Ace twice. Other than that, he’s backed off.
Two, I’m attracted to each of them, which will only end badly. I’ve tried imagining a scenario like what South’s friend has, but I don’t see that working out. I don’t want to see the looks on their faces if I suggested it.
Three, they’re dangerous. I’m not an idiot, no matter how much I want to bury my head in the sand. Being any more involved with them than I am will sign me up for misery, no question.
Work, collect paycheck, go home.
But I’m starting to pay more attention to the papers I’m highlighting, too. What areas were bought up? What’s happening with them? Most of them don’t have plans at all. I’ve been spending my time at home looking up what’s going on with the properties through news articles. The only thing that comes up is a golf course that isn’t finished due to a delay on the turf. It’s a creepy sand pit that gives me chills. I have no idea why, but the pictures make it feel haunted. Plus, a property with a giant mansion that gives me the creeps hard enough I can’t breathe when I see the pictures.
I’m tempted to go see all of them. Just because they don’t have any set plans in writing doesn’t mean something isn’t there. A physical checkout of the locations will help me understand what the hell I’m looking at.
It’s thoughts like these that make me want to hide away and ignore all of this. Instead, I focus on finding a lawyer. It hasn’t happened yet, and I’m losing hope again. Is there a way for me to do this without a lawyer? And if so, where would I file? According to the paperwork more than half the judges have some kind of relationship with Loser.
I could move and file in another county. Even another state. Screw the abandonment thing, I need this divorce. If only to have one more foothold on freedom.
“Hello?” Cade yells in my face.
I startle back in my seat, almost tipping it over. My reaction makes him start laughing as he glances around.
“Told you she was zoned.”
“If I have a heart attack in this office, I’m coming back to haunt you,” I glare at him as my heart slowly calms down.
“I’ll know when highlighters start appearing out of nowhere,” he assures me, trying to look solemn.
I grumble under my breath and rub my breastbone, fixing them all with a sneer.
“If you could manage to pay attention, you wouldn’t have this problem,” Gabriel tells me in a silky tone.
The taunts are the same, but his voice has changed into a seduction that’s almost irresistible. I know I can fit under that desk. Where there’s a will and all that.
I come to after my eyes glaze for a second to tell him sweetly, “That’s above my paygrade. If I get a raise, I’ll make more of an effort.”
Mikael scoffs and Ace grins at me.
“I don’t think that would work for you, darlin’.”
“It’s like you can’t help yourself,” Cade agrees with a light laugh. His face is relaxed for once. I’m used to seeing the morose glare. He’s having a good day.
“What are you thinking about over there that takes you away from us?” Jake raises his brows, his innocent smile in place.
I am not admitting that. Never.
“Maybe I’m dreaming of a house on the shore. A raise would help me get that,” I pout at Gabriel.
“I doubt she knows what she wants to eat today any more than yesterday, get whatever,” Gabriel smirks at me.
“Donuts.” The word falls out without a thought. Whatever works. At least I said a food and not a random object.
“It’s almost two o’clock, darlin’,” Ace says with a chuckle.
“I know,” I tell him stoutly, even though I didn’t. I’m sticking to this if it kills me. “They’ll have to enter a different time zone to get them. Imagine all the peace we’ll have here.”
“Fuck you,” Cade says with a laugh. He braces both palms on the desk and leans in so I can get a close-up of his wide smile. “You’d miss us if we were gone too long. Admit it.”
“What’s to miss?” I snark back haughtily.
“The ass you stare at constantly,” he jibes, leaning even closer. “Need me to do a spin up close?”
Damn. Busted. How the hell did he notice? I’ve been subtle. I can’t deny the man has a great body. His personality is looking up, too.
I hurry to snark back so I can suppress that thought.
“No, your face is enough. All of you is made up of ass, there’s no missing it.”
“Sure,” he pretends to agree with a knowing look. “I’ll let you have that one for today.”
“Sushi,” Jake slaps him on the bicep, and Cade withdraws.
“Sound good?” He asks me, his smile never wavering.
Not only am I busted, but he’s taking advantage of it to worm his way behind my defenses. Damn it.
“Meh,” I go back to my paperwork like I don’t care. On the inside, I’m squealing because I love sushi, and I haven’t had it in forever. Loser hated the thought of it, and he would complain about a nonexistent smell no matter where we went.
They leave with happy smiles, and silence falls again.
“Ace. Go ahead and leave. Mikael, you too.”
I frown at the distant tone. Gabriel is absentmindedly muttering as he goes through the never-ending stack of papers on his desk. What is it all? Maybe I don’t want to know. Buying random businesses and flipping them seems way too time-consuming.
Mikael and Ace exchange amused looks, and Mikael pipes up.
“Maybe I wanted sushi.”
Gabriel nods like he’s not even listening.
“Are you sure?” Ace asks in a wheedling tone that makes me bite my lip. I don’t know why they’re teaming up on him, but his utter lack of response cracks me up.
He waves his hand dismissively and keeps focused on his paperwork.
“Save me some?” Mikael asks with a smile as he passes my desk.
“I’ll do my best. You might want to get some on your own, though. You know how hungry Jake always is.”
“Good point,” he grumbles and goes back into his glare mode.
“Later, darlin’,” Ace blows me a kiss as he leaves.
And then we’re alone. Again.
Every time they leave for lunch, Ace and Mikael suddenly have something they need to do. After Monday, we haven’t spoken during those times so I thought it was a normal routine. Based on their needling today, that isn’t the case. My eyes narrow on Gabriel in suspicion.
“Stop staring. And consider the lunch you’ve gotten from me all week your raise.”
I drop my highlighter and cross my arms.
“That’s bullshit. Jake eats the majority of whatever you guys get. I barely eat anything.”
His head is slow to rise, but the disbelieving look on his face brings a blush to my cheeks. We both know it’s a lie. Jake does eat a lot, but I’m right next to him, stuffing my face until I feel like I need to be rolled out of here.
“Are you judging me over there, pookie?” I raise a brow, struggling to contain my embarrassment.
“Oh no, never,” he says flatly. “There can’t be two overly opinionated people in the room.”
“You’re just pissed because your opinion of everything sucks. Start looking on the bright side.”
“You are the worst person to be handing out advice,” he assures me.
At this point, neither of us is even pretending to work. The fake glares we’re sending each other make my heart race.
This is bad.
It suddenly hits me that we’re all alone in here. And his desk is right there. Or the couch.
No!
I’m startled out of my train of thought so hard that I jump a little and scramble to go back to highlighting.
“Was there a bee in your chair?”
I can’t respond to the mocking question for a second. He used his seductive voice when he asked.
“Nope. Just super busy,” my voice comes out high-pitched and strained.
I’m tempted to make a mad dash down the stairs. It won’t take long for me to get exhausted, maybe three flights? Then I can come back up here cool and collected. With more people to buffer the tension between us. Should I invite Vanessa in here? Surely, she has some really important stuff for him to sign.
A knock on the desk comes from in front of me. My surprised gaze travels up to take Gabriel in as he stands at the other side with a raised brow.
“Stop ignoring me.”
“If you weren’t so boring, I might be able to pay attention.” My immediate comeback makes my heart sink. I’m leading this along like a champ despite all the warning bells ringing everywhere.
He sits down in a chair across from me, and I want to smack myself for not noticing he dragged one over.
“I’m here to work, not fraternize,” I try to keep the desperation out of my voice, but I’m panicking.
“Right,” he gives me a mocking look.
“Are you saying I’m not working?” My irritation rushes back in to save me.
“You should be done with this already,” he gestures to the box. “You’re riding the clock to get more money.”
I gape at him while he smirks.
“I am not!”
He nods slowly as if he’s accepting the denial while mocking me at the same time.
“You dick,” I start scowling. “I’ve started dreaming about dancing highlighters and random names. If that isn’t a sign I’m working my ass off over here, then I don’t know what is.”
“If you stop drinking at night, your dreams might get better.”
“It was one night! One !” I practically scream. “Maybe you need to get out there and party for once. The experience might take the stick out of your ass.”
“I have liquor here,” he leans back with a satisfied smile.
My expression drops into disgust. “Of course you do. Go get some now and save me the headache. Please .”
“You want to know where it is that badly? Should I be concerned?”
I close my eyes tightly and try to breathe in and out to seek some kind of inner peace. It’s not working.
“What’s wrong, Mana-chan?” He cajoles with honey-covered seductive tones. “Are you feeling ok?”
“No. Do you know what an aneurysm feels like? Oh wait, you’re frozen solid, so you wouldn’t. Let’s call Mikael instead. He should be an expert after dealing with you-”
I’m not paying attention when the chair creaks but I am definitely paying attention after warm lips meet mine. My eyes snap open as Gabriel moves back a bare inch. The smile on his face wavers for a second and then drops to become intent. His eyes flick to my mouth, and he leans in again. He’s slow enough that I could put a stop to it. I don’t.
A brief press of lips. I press back. And then it’s on. My breath escapes me, giving him a chance to slide his tongue inside. I make a choked sound that spurs him on. His hand moves to my jaw, keeping me in place as the kiss deepens. Every time we separate, it’s to catch a quick breath and dive back in.
What am I doing? This is a horrible idea. What about Ace? Mikael? Hell, even Cade. I’m not the type of person to throw myself at anyone that looks twice. At least, I wasn’t.
“Stop thinking,” he mutters hoarsely.
“Shut up,” I weakly snap back before he takes my mouth over again.
I feel dizzy the next time he pulls away.
“You are the best distraction.”
My body stiffens as he presses another kiss to my suddenly slack lips.
What the fuck does that mean?
I’m about to ask when he lurches away from me and sits down at his desk. He snatches up the pen with his face down in paperwork.
I’m still gaping at him in confusion when the double doors open, and Cade comes in with food.
His mouth opens to make a comment but closes when he sees my expression. Or the swollen red lips I’m sure I’m sporting.
His eyes narrow, and a feeling of guilt crashes over me.
I don’t know what to say. They’ve seen Ace kiss me on the cheek or be affectionate. And here I am, looking guilty as hell with only Gabriel in the room with me. I couldn’t be more obvious.
“Lunch,” Cade announces in a carefully controlled tone.
Jake comes in behind him, notes my face with a glance, and makes me a plate.
I keep my head down and don’t speak. I barely eat any of it.
There’s plenty left over for Mikael when he and Ace come back in.
Shit. I know the lingering effects of that kiss are gone, but I still feel like he sees everything when he glances at me. But he maintains his happy smile. If anything, it gets wider.
I can’t be that guy, not after everything Loser has put me through. I have to tell him.
I’m so pissed at myself. I shouldn’t be kissing any of them. Even Jake is looking good with all the spoiling he’s giving me. A cushion for my back. Extra highlighters that he swears come from Sarah’s desk. A stress ball. Little things that amuse me or help me get through the day.
It’s like separating from Loser has turned me into a nympho.
The rest of the day goes by fast, but I’m too busy thinking to get much done.
“I’m drivin’ you home, darlin’.”
I startle and look up at Ace in horror.
Already? Do I have to confess already? I didn’t even have a chance to convince myself he’ll never know.
“Ok,” I try to be brave about it as I gather up my things.
I don’t miss the sneer Cade gives me from behind Ace’s back. I can’t meet his eyes or give him hell over it, either.