38
More Than Love
Amanda
The room the doctor shows me is its own apartment. He sets my clothes on an end table by the door. There’s a sitting room with a bookshelf filled with books and movies. A few armchairs and a loveseat offer a place to meet with friends, and there is a coffee table between them.
Separated by an open door is a bedroom that makes me frown. While the living room is bland, the bedroom feels homey. As if it’s been waiting for me to walk in for a long time. There’s a bedspread that’s my favorite shade of pink. A blushing tone that mixes well with the warm brown of the furniture. There’s a TV and game console setup on a large dresser and what could be a walk-in closet. The instant comfort of the room has me rushing through to what’s obviously a bathroom.
It’s decadent here. The flooring is some type of wood that feels heated. A big tub that could fit three people is sunk into the floor. A shower that’s fancier than anything I’ve ever seen. Soaps and shampoos that look like my brands. A toothbrush that’s identical to the one I’ve been using. The pink theme continues here as well. The towels are the same shade as the comforter and soft enough they could be their own robe.
The bath is just what I needed. With all the doors locked, I have a false sense of security. Jakob is propped against the tub, waiting for me to pick it up. Steam rises across the top of the water with hints of flowers, mint, and eucalyptus in the air. The water is a steeped light brown in color and there's a large tea bag floating on the surface. By the time I get out, my muscles are relaxed, and the pain has eased to a dull throb. Whatever was in the sachet helped a lot.
I let the water out with a lot of regret, put the robe back on, and left the steamy bathroom only to stop and stare.
Jake is on the bed, dressed in some casual gray pajama pants with no shirt. The display of his comfort on the pink comforter with his tight muscles on display has me blinking in surprise. He has a light dusting of blond chest hair that narrows into a line leading to the top of his low-slung pants. He has one of the controllers in his hands and is focused entirely on the TV. Is this his room? Why would he let me in here?
“Feeling better?”
“What are you doing here?” I get a better grip on the baton with one hand and close the robe tighter over my breasts with the other. I’m not as uncomfortable with his presence as I should be. It’s as if we’ve been in a relationship for years and my coming out of the bathroom to see him relaxing there should be a normal routine. It kind of freaks me out.
“Waiting for you in case you needed help. Playing this frustrating game. Telling you that I took the liberty of buying you clothes, and they’re already in the drawers.”
My brows furrow. He doesn’t take his attention off the TV but his voice is getting darker with anger. One thumb mashes on a button hard enough the controller should break as he concentrates.
I keep him in my peripherals and open one of the drawers. It’s full of pajama shorts. Some of them are replicas of what I lost. Others look racier. The next drawer up is tank tops so soft I could sleep on them like sheets. Then socks and panties. I give him a scowl over it. Everything matches what I would normally wear to be comfortable, and it’s all in my size. Down to the bows and pink theme of the panties.
“How much were you watching me,” I ask warily. The idea of someone spying on me gives me chills. The idea of Jake spying on me causes a different reaction that I’m not comfortable with. I should be shocked and worried about what he saw. Instead I hope he enjoyed the show because I won’t willingly give him another one.
“As often as I could,” he admits. His lips go from a scowl to a smirk as his eyes shift to me and move down my body. “Have you thought about purple? I think the color would look very fetching on you, and it’s Cade’s favorite color. He buys my ties. Excellent taste. I wanted to know your thoughts.”
Since most of my clothes are pretty boring in color, I know he’s talking about my panties. My cheeks heat, and my eyes narrow. I take a better look around and it fully sinks in that this room is mine . He set this up for my comfort. Like he’s been waiting for me to move in and wanted it to go as smoothly as possible. I pace to the closet and find so many pairs of jeans and casual shirts they fill one wall. There’s even a laundry hamper where I would keep it if this were my space. I walk back out in a daze.
“When did you order all this?” I look around, noticing a few other alterations since I got in the bath. There’s a poster I mentioned in passing to Ace hanging over the head of the bed. A stack of movies I’ve talked about with Cade. Three pairs of tennis shoes, two white and one purple set. My heart begins to hammer. Has Jake been paying attention to me this entire time ?
“I started the day our eyes met in that class,” he sounds calm as he says it. He pauses the game and rests the controller on his stomach to watch me. “The rest I bought as you mentioned them. I want you to be comfortable here. I chose this set of rooms so you would be able to have isolation when one of us irritated you. And on the first floor because of your well-deserved hatred of stairs.”
My stomach pitches. That means he’s been buying things for me for months. This isn’t sudden. There’s no way he could have gotten this prepared in a day. He’s really been planning for me to live here. But why?
Ace was blatant about his possessive behavior. Mikael gave shy, lingering looks that made me blush. Gabriel gave me an attitude mixed with sly seduction. Cade has been trying to apologize for how he acted in class and get to know me as a person. I have to remember it was all an act. They would have had sex with me, but nothing more.
This is more. A lot more.
Jake has barely spoken to me. I’ve turned him into background noise for the most part. And while I’ve been busy looking at other things, he’s been doing this .
“Am I a hostage?” I sneer at him. This reeks of psycho-South energy. This white van is filled with all of my favorite things, and I shouldn’t be as happy about it as I am. I’m flattered by his attention to detail.
What has happened to me? I should still be in that cold, waiting for violence mode, and he’s disarming me. I’m trying to deflect with vicious snark and reassert the reality that they want me for information. Here’s hoping it works.
“I’m sure they’ll try to turn you into a damsel in distress if we aren’t careful,” he replies and stacks his hands behind his head. “We can outwit them without much problem.”
My heart does a weird flutter. I'm trying to convince myself it’s indigestion. I raise an eyebrow, “ We? ”
“Yes,” his tone darkens, and his expression becomes real. He’s angry, and it’s nothing like when he was playing the game. It’s raw and a little unhinged in its intensity. “You’ll have trouble separating me from you, meine Seele . I wanted to give you time to adjust to my particular brand of psychotics, but my hand has been forced. That patience is at an end.”
“You’re saying you’re crazy, and that’s that?” I scoff. “Deal with it?”
He makes a thoughtful noise. “I don’t consider myself crazy. Other people do.”
“You know right from wrong,” I try to clarify.
“I do. I just don’t care much. Where was right when I needed it? Why does wrong feel so good? Have you started asking yourself that yet?”
He just broke down everything I’ve been feeling in three questions. There’s no hope for any part of the justice system in this town to help me. It felt amazing to take my fate in my hands and get revenge for the things that have happened to me. To all of us. But it’s an escalation that I don’t see ending until I’m dead or they are.
“You don’t feel angry?” My voice is as hesitant as my curiosity. He’s saying he’s like me, but his eyes don’t reflect that kind of insane rage.
“Right now, I do. Mainly because I haven’t found everyone that’s hurt you yet. It will happen, though. I need to remember my patience. If you’re talking about your version of anger, no, I don’t. I focus before I smash.”
I give him a half-hearted glare. I can’t argue with that. A sly smile crosses his lips.
“You’re a button masher,” he says, holding up the controller and shaking it. “I prefer strategy. Together, we’ll be unstoppable.”
“A bullet would change that,” I try to make the words a warning, my voice falling into that flat tone I’ve recently adopted.
As soon as I saw he was missing on Monday, it started a hopeless spiral of what-ifs and regrets. I don’t want to revisit that or anything else these men dredge up from my emotions.
His smile immediately drops and he pats the bed next to him for me to sit.
I want to. He’s the same man but so different. He wants a team-up, and he isn’t afraid to cut anyone else out of it. His own mystery team if that’s what it takes. He didn’t believe I stole anything and it shows with this room alone. Hell, the movies I saw on the shelves are all my favorites. They’re in my cart to be ordered when I settle down. As if he’s seen that too.
I can’t. There won’t be any settling down and finding myself now. It’s too late for that. I’m basically already dead. If I wasn’t before, my visit with Blake has guaranteed it.
I ignore the invitation to gather a few things to wear. I go into the bathroom to change and Jake doesn’t protest. I make sure to stash some money in my socks after I put them on. I need to get the subtle kit cards that South gave me this morning and keep them on me at all times. When I come out, he’s moved farther on the bed to make room for me, and a pink controller is next to him. He’s focused on what he’s doing in the game and not paying any attention to me. Or so I think.
I’m moving to retrieve my dirty clothes and the tools hidden inside them when he speaks again.
“I was very young when my mother was killed. Eight. Perhaps nine. My birthdays no longer became important milestones.”
I blink at his casual tone. Who starts a conversation like that? But it forces my attention to him with a frown. I’m not looking at him, but he has my full attention.
“We moved from Munich to America when I was six. Chasing the dream of money through my father’s job. He always said our family line had a gift for technology, and it’s proven true daily. We had been in California for three years. Theo and Elke were born in America. Twins. A boy and a girl. They were with my mother that day in the convenience store.”
I find myself weakly sitting on the bed as I listen. He’s still playing the game, his tone casual, as if he’s telling me a random story. I don’t think I could ever be that calm discussing the death of my mom. I’m an only child, but I’m sure if I had siblings, my rage would be even worse. Just the thought of it has me cold again.
“Thieves came in, their haul was light, they opened fire, and no one survived. My father and I were devastated at the loss. So many rooms in the house gone empty and silent overnight. Our hearts were those empty rooms, waiting for someone to move in. They were never caught. Despite the video, despite a witness describing the vehicle they left in. The clear plate numbers. Nothing swayed the law .”
The subdued violence of the word makes me look away from the TV and watch his face. He doesn’t have much expression as he concentrates on the game.
“My father and I decided to take up the task ourselves. He was in the military for his fair share of time when he was younger. KSK. Medical discharge on good standing. He trained me well. I took to it as easy as breathing. We thought we would find two men. Instead, we found a drug syndicate. Fifty-six men in total. Every single one was more depraved than the last. Paying police and judges to do their dirty deeds without consequence. We brought the consequence to them. We failed and won at the same time. When the last casing hit the ground, my father did as well. Another empty room of silence in my heart. Before I could disappear, Matthias came to me. The sheer methodical violence of it drew his attention. He expected an adult for once. He found me.”
He glances at me and down to the pink controller. “Play with me. The computer has gotten boring, and I need something more to distract me.”
His eyes meet mine and the illusion of his calm washes away for me to see his anger and confusion. The pain he’s hiding under an expert mask of disinterest and smiles. I feel a kinship with him in that moment that I can’t ignore.
I take up the controller and pick a fighter for him to fight against. I don’t know how to play it but I’ll try to make a good showing. I lose two times in a row before he starts talking again.
“I was destitute with nothing left to live for. My mission was done. My father dead. I decided it was better than using the gun on myself and went to be trained like all the rest. As if I needed it by then.”
Does he mean everyone else here ? I figure he’s talking about Matthias Senior picking him up and not Gabriel. He would have been only a few years older than Jake, if I’m guessing right. With his own tragedy to face.
Jake lost his entire family through violence at a very young age. Gabriel had his mother murdered right in front of him when he was young. All of the culprits are dead.
I’m sensing a theme here that isn’t what I was anticipating at all .
“After many tumultuous and memorable years, I was assigned to Cade. We were in our late teens by then. Close in age. He lost his father to a money-hungry black widow. A woman who seduced his father after his mother’s death. Cadey was very much distracted by his own life at that point. Tragedy and teenage angst mixed with disgust over the brazen whore that took his mother’s place. He didn’t recognize the signs of poisoning. The years it took for his father to succumb, filled with unrelenting agony, twisted him regardless. Cade simply assumed it was a new disease, come to claim his only loved one. Nothing helped. No one in his highbrow social circles could understand it. Not a single suspicion. He was the fifth husband she killed. And the last. Cade put a stop to her before she got to number six. She chose poorly when she decided to try her seduction on Cade. He was the sole heir to a fortune, you see. She couldn’t let the money go.”
My shoulders hunch and my character gets knocked off the mountainside we’re fighting on.
“Unfortunately for her he made sure to find out what happened to his father. He expected to find some mysterious genetic disease he would have to face later in life. Instead, he found the truth. He used his money to wipe out the evidence and took matters into his own hands. It was easy, considering she still lived in the home with him despite his protests. He came straight home after receiving the results. Football practice didn’t seem to be so important that day. He pretended to accept her seduction due to his grief. A supposed moment of weakness. You’ve seen how well our Cadey can act. Before she could seal the deal, the drugs he gave her kicked in, and she was asleep. She spent quite some time in that basement. Cade gave her higher doses of the poison that killed his father. But he maintained it well so he could prolong her suffering as long as possible.”
Another one. Another absence of the law. This isn’t mafia territory. This is vigilante justice. The exact same type as what I’m indulging in now. And big Matthias has been collecting them like an army of baby assassins that got spoon-fed hate and violence as a daily diet.
That’s why Cade hates me. He thinks I used Gabriel for money, and even though I didn’t threaten his life, to Cade, it would only be a matter of time before I became what he destroyed. I can see Janine and her friends through his eyes now. Disgusting parasites that use men for their own gain. He thought I was cut from the same cloth. He’s been waiting for the other shoe to drop and reveal my real intentions with them.
“We’re all the same here. Shaped by loss and hate. I don’t mind what I’ve become. It has its uses. Cade minds. He disgusts himself for his actions. How Matthias found him, I don’t know, and he’s never said. Perhaps they ran in the same social circles. I doubt Cadey had any idea how to dispose of a body in those early days. I don’t know about the others. They’ve been at this years longer than I have.”
“Everyone lost someone?” I ask in a deadened tone.
Jake makes a thoughtful sound. “My information on the rest is spotty at best. They keep to themselves for the most part. Mikael and Ace were handpicked guards for Matthias before Gabe took them out of heavy duty. They’re especially close because of it. I have been able to gain a few details but some of it is an educated guess. I know Mikael lost the uncle who raised him. A pedophile kidnapped him, and his Uncle came to the rescue and didn’t make it. He wasn’t missing for more than a few hours before his Uncle tracked him down on his own. Hours . The police wanted to wait for a required day to begin an investigation. I think Mik saw the whole thing go down. He wasn’t born to be a victim. He’s a predator through and through. That man never stood a chance. A threat to himself, Mik could handle. Killing his Uncle made the monster hidden inside come out to say hello.”
It’s hard to imagine Mikael as young and vulnerable. That’s why he’s so withdrawn. Even if the pedophile only had a few hours with him, I doubt he wasn’t hurt in some way. Bile churns in my stomach. Before I can gather myself from all the punches, Jake keeps going.
“And Ace? His younger sister. A night out with friends, drinking too much and dancing. They let her walk home alone, content that she wasn’t driving. She was gang raped and left to bleed out in an alley. They tell stories about the police being unable to find all the body parts. His mother committed suicide directly after the funeral.”
I remember his unrelenting rage when he found out about my little party with South and Shade. It hits so differently now. I doubt I wouldn’t have yelled at him regardless, but it makes that whole interaction painful to think about in a whole new way. And his mom. He’s been trying to comfort me in the ways he knew worked for her, and I’ve been resisting it with everything in me.
I’ve been pushing buttons I had no idea were there from the very beginning.
“And Gabe,” he sighs deeply with a quick glance at me. “A life filled with the sight of his mother’s death. He never speaks of it. I know no details. I do know that Matthias blames him for not acting that night. For not being like one of us . He’s quite vocal about it, no matter who is present. Not to mention that his father ran through money-hungry women like water until his recent marriage. Quite a bit like Cade’s life with a decent woman at the end instead of a death trap.”
Jake doesn’t know about Gabriel’s grief? And he told me. In a limited way, but still. He opened up a wound even further than it was and let me see it. Willingly. What does that mean? He wouldn’t do that for an act.
Jake sucks his teeth for a second, the sound bringing me out of a deadened stupor.
“Gabe saw us floundering. Each of us had given up at some point on surviving the grueling tasks we were sent out on. He snatched us up and offered us a safe haven from his father’s manipulations. A chess master playing behind the scenes to maneuver us all into safety with hardly anyone the wiser. He’s saved plenty of us and allowed us the opportunity to live as normal people as best we can. I knew that wasn’t in the cards for me so I remained at his side. He has my loyalty. He’s filled a room in my heart. They all have.”
I feel sick at the onslaught of information. But not with grief or horror. In cold, relentless rage. The emotion eclipses everything else until I watch Jake’s character on the screen get knocked out for the final count. I won one round out of I don’t know how many. I’d usually crow about the victory, but it’s hollow.
“Button masher,” he teases with a crooked smile that’s real.
“Why are you telling me this?” I whisper, the controller heavy in my limp hands.
“So you understand us. The betrayals and lies. We’re covering each other, some more than others. You build a type of loyalty that’s hard to bypass. We are each more than capable of dealing with threats and we all think that knowledge will bring you some comfort. They chose well framing you for the theft. Between Cade’s experience and Gabriel watching his father go through gold-digging women as a man possessed, you gain a certain perspective of the female mind. It boils down to money. I wonder if they had inside knowledge or if it was a blind guess when they framed you.”
I make a disgruntled sound I can’t describe and start up a new game.
“They have obvious wealth, and women want it. Never them. Always the money. I find it odd that no men have been ousted for the behavior, don’t you? They’re just as prevalent.”
“Movies,” I mutter back, an itch of a thought teasing my brain.
He nods with a frown. “Detective novels.”
My thumb freezes over the buttons, allowing Jake to KO me with a single hit.
“You aren’t even trying,” he mocks me.
I can’t answer him as realization pulls me under. With my name on the account, it will look like I’m the mastermind. I already figured that out. If I’m supposed to be the patsy, then there’s going to be more. A lot more.
It will also push this group over the edge to find any of it out. My innocence didn’t matter to them in the first go-round. I don’t see this one ending any better whether Jake chooses to stand up for me or not.
And I know just how vicious they can all be with shocking detail.
The knowledge is like a brick in my stomach.
“You’re hiding something. Tell me,” Jake sits up with a frown, the game forgotten as he tosses the controller to face me.
My eyes narrow on him. I can’t go back to the head-in-the-sand version of myself anymore. He just gave me an entire list of reasons why that would be a bad idea. I’m dead meat no matter where I turn. And I’m currently shacking up with a new set of executioners. How am I going to get past them and dodge whoever else is out there looking for me? They may not be on team Blake, but this is just as bad in a whole new way.
“You don’t get it yet,” he accepts the lack of an answer with grace. I’ll give him that. “We kill the guilty, meine Seele . There will be no escape for any threat to you. Point me in a direction, and I’ll go. Any of us will. I won’t be jealous.”
“And if I point at someone who’s innocent?” I try to distract him with a raised brow and get off the bed to pace. I need more distance between us. I didn’t notice he’d been sliding closer to me in tiny increments while he talked.
“Logic,” he reminds me in a sing-song voice. “That is where I reign supreme.”
The look of disbelief I give him speaks volumes. No amount of cold logic will stop him if he thinks I’m betraying the people he loves.
“In this then,” he laughingly concedes. “I won’t go out with grenades and a smile. I will gather my information and cold- bloodedly take everything they hold dear, from the penny in the driveway to their pathetic stocks. Cade will isolate them from each other, play games with their minds, and cast doubts so they destroy each other while he watches. Ace will hunt them like only a beast could. Mikael will break them into so many pieces they’ll never move again and keep them alive for the punishment to never end. We each have our methods if you trust us.”
“Trust got me arrested.” I remind him flatly.
“No, their idiocy got you arrested,” he says with a sneer. He mutters something in German and waves a hand angrily. “They are all fools because their emotions are involved. Jealousy and doubts all clouded around like wraiths.”
“And you aren’t?” I gesture at all the things he’s bought with raised brows. With emotion added to it all, this recipe is ready to explode in my face. If I can even believe they care about me.
“I’m not jealous, and I have no doubts,” he tells me flatly. “Fuck them all for all I care. I’ve gotten what I want.”
My mouth gapes as my heart stutters painfully in my chest. “And what do you want?”
“You. You’re here, wearing the things I’ve bought, enjoying the comforts I’ve given, few though they are. I can wait for the rest because I will have it. Not through force or coercion. Through us being drawn together naturally. You can see inside me to every filthy thing I’ve ever done without a struggle. You see me . Do you know how much I’ve longed for that?”
He sounds like South. The eeriness of his voice causes goosebumps to cascade down my arms. If he tells me he has a superpower, I’ll believe it without a single argument.
“We’ve all looked for it,” he tells me with a silky smile. “A woman who can make us feel whole. And only you have provided. We all see it, and we all want it.”
“Until you don’t,” I mutter. The slowly crumbling wall of my self-defense refortifies in an instant. Gabe’s cold face. Ace unable to meet my eyes. Mikael’s rage and Cade’s disgusted scorn. I won’t forget those faces for a very long time.
“Ech,” the sound he makes expresses so much disgust even though it isn’t a word. “They can earn forgiveness. I’m only trying to help you see us clearly. Without your own wraiths floating around.”
A gentle knock gets both of our attention as someone clears their throat.
“Dinner is served.”
I roll my eyes, and Jake grins at my expression.
“Let me taste all of your food before you eat it,” he springs off the bed with his fake smile on. He picks the baton up and spins it gracefully in a way I don’t recognize before handing it to me.
“Why?” I ask him warily and take it. I’m trying not to call it Jakob again. I’m starting to suspect that it’s Jake’s full name.
“I want to milk Cade’s guilt for as long as I can. Don’t forget that he used drugged food to best a black widow. The reminder will help him see the error of his ways. To really put it in perspective for him that he’s an idiot. Gabe will feel it, too, I bet. Mik and Ace won’t care, but it will be warning enough.”
He opens the door to escort me down the long hallway. “What device have you been using to short out the cameras you’ve been passing?”
My feet stick, and my throat goes dry in an instant.
Jake continues talking, oblivious.
“It has a wide effect, and I’d like to see it. I’m curious and relentless in my pursuit of technological knowledge. Fair warning.”
“What cameras?” I whisper as my face pales. I try to act nonchalant as I catch up to him but he’s eyeing me suspiciously.
“The police station. The ones I placed in your apartment. Street cams. Gabriel’s office building. They say you totaled two vehicles during the blackout, but they have very little proof. I would say it’s an EMP, but the electricity remained on throughout. Only the cameras were affected.”
The proof would be on the hood of a vehicle. I might get jail time yet.
“I wasn’t carrying anything to shut them off,” I say, sticking to the truth without revealing anything else. His eyes narrow on me, knowing there’s more, but he drops the subject—for now.
I can’t see myself claiming it’s South’s superpower at work. He won’t believe it any more than I did.
I’m clearing the dryness from my throat when we turn right and a long table greets me with a spread of food that makes my stomach start rumbling. The rest of the crew pauses and sets their forks down as if they just got busted sneaking food. I’d laugh if seeing them didn’t make me want to turn around and leave. I can feel myself going dead in expression as well as emotion.
Gabriel stands up, and the rest follow his lead quickly. Jake pulls out the chair across from Gabriel at the head, and I stare at it for way too long, debating my options.
“You couldn’t put a shirt on?” Cade asks Jake in a mutter.
“Amanda prefers comfort over flash, Cadey,” Jake gives him a pointed glare. “Have you learned nothing yet?”
Gabriel clears his throat sharply, fixing them with his cold gaze. He’s a little older than Cade and Jake but younger than Ace and Mikael. But he quells them all with a simple throat clearing. That’s respect.
I choose the option least likely to get myself shot and take the seat without a word. Cade is on my right with Mikael farther down, and Jake is on my left with Ace. They sit down as soon as I settle like they’ve been trained in etiquette. Maybe they have. Who knows anymore?
Jake takes my empty plate and fills it up with a meal I don’t recognize. Only the string beans are familiar. He sets it down and takes a sample of everything, looking thoughtful while he chews, and the rest of them stare at him in disbelief. He even sips the water and whatever wine they set out by my plate that I’m not touching. It isn’t until he hands it to me with a smile and says, “Nothing poisoned. We’re good,” that pained surprise covers Cade’s face.
Cade looks away with a frown. Mikael’s lips tighten, and his eyes drop. Gabriel clears his throat and takes a drink of whatever alcohol he’s chosen to pair with his fancy dinner. Ace is the only one that gives him a flat glare for the show.
“You all done bein’ dramatic?” He leans back with his arms crossed defensively.
“I’m just being careful,” Jake gives him a sweet smile. “You never know who to trust these days.”
Cade meets his eyes across the table and the sorrow there isn’t fake. I don’t think.
I set the baton across my lap to poke at my food. Yeah, Blake is well off, but I’ve never seen such a fancy spread for dinner at home. I usually cooked dinner myself, and there’s no way I would have something like this, even if I knew what it was. It was more a diet to keep Blake’s cholesterol levels down. I wish I hadn’t bothered now.
I take a few bites, and it’s good. Maybe veal? I don’t know. Then I end up uselessly twirling my fork around as my brain kicks into gear.
Blake is out, hopefully in the hospital and drugged on enough pain medication to keep his mouth shut for a little while. Either way, I need to get a move on before someone figures out I wasn’t there for divorce papers and wifely vengeance. If anyone knows, I was there to begin with. The secretary does, but no one else seemed to see me. Not until I was outside the office and a decent amount of space away from South.
That was still enough for a shove into traffic and a more professional attack later. They knew I would be there at some point, and they were waiting for me. They might know which direction I’m headed to next, but it doesn’t really matter in the long run. I’ll keep fighting as long as I can. If I have to crush some skulls to keep going, so be it.
And the fuckers surrounding me know I was there too. I wonder why they were visiting Blake in the first place if they aren’t on a team together. Maybe they know more about this than they’re willing to admit. For their own safety.
They’re all giving me subtle probing looks as they eat. Ace is blatantly staring, his food forgotten. I’m doing my best to pretend I’m alone.
If I can find the account, I can close it and see what roaches start crawling out. There has to be more than one. Having a ton of money in a single account is idiotic.
I can get to the house and search through his files on his laptop. There has to be a trail somewhere. All I have to do is look and don’t stop.
I need to get out of here for a little bit and hit up the lawyer for more—literally.
“You seem to be feeling better,” Gabriel says stiffly. He’s cutting up his dinner in an overly delicate way that’s weird and stiff.
“Is the food not good?” Mikael frowns as he looks at my mostly full plate.
Just shut up. They’re making useless small talk, and I’m gearing up to go on a rampage. Our conversations aren’t going to mesh well. Unless this is some kind of soft approach to questioning me. I can’t forget that they want something, and they’re watching me like hawks.
Ugh, I just thought about Jake and his camera fetish. The likelihood of my room being covered in the damn things is almost one hundred percent. Not to mention the rest of this place. I don’t have a South handy to take care of that, damn it. I wonder if expert Tera would have any good ideas.
“If you would talk to us, we could help you, darlin’.”
If Ace walked up to me and stabbed me in the chest, it would hurt less than hearing him say that pet name.
I want to tell him never to call me that again, but I keep my lips shut. If I start talking, there’s a good chance I’ll keep going.
“She’s thinking like she always is. Shut up,” Jake tells him in a mutter.
“The arrest,” Gabriel starts and clears his throat again. His voice stays the cautious, frigid tone it normally is as he continues. “It was a mistake, and I apologize. They hit us in a vulnerable area at the best time. We weren’t ready for it.”
“We want to help you,” Mikael says intently. “With anything . Please let us in.”
Yeah, I don’t see anyone here being willing to jump up and give me a ride to go assault someone. It would be, hey, stay home, and we’ll take care of it . That’s not helping. It’s taking over. I don’t have enough faith in them to do that anyway.
I do need a ride, though. Another roadblock, but I can get that figured out.
“Since you’re staying, are you planning on paying for your room?” Cade asks with a sneer. The looks of complete rage he gets from around the table don’t faze him as he watches me.
He’s sly. I can’t forget that. A natural actor. And he has no idea that I’ve gone so deep into my anger that his taunt is pathetic at best. I have confidence in who I am, and I’m not whatever he’s trying to paint me as. But if he wants to push it, I’ll meet him halfway. If he wants money I’ll shove it down his throat.
The thought is satisfying in an absent way. I mean, I’m going to be dead soon. It isn't like I need the paper. I have bigger things to focus on before that happens.
“That won’t be necessary,” Gabriel grits out with his eyes laser-focused on Cade.
“I just want to make sure nobody has any regrets about letting her shack up here,” Cade protests with way too much innocence. He even raises his hands in a surrender gesture.
He’s just trying to get me angry and talking. I’m a little beyond that at this point. But I’m not beyond shoving his words back into his mouth with some violence. They’re watching me, waiting for an explosion of anger. I’m not paying enough attention to their words to bother.
They left me my phone, so I’m not precisely a prisoner yet. However, I don’t doubt that I will become one if push comes to shove.
First things first, hit up Shade about hospital visitors and account info. Then ask Tera for some B&E tips while keeping her as far away as I can. Get out and call a ride. Use absolutely zero finesse breaking into the lawyer’s house and beat some answers out of him. Look at that: a quasi-plan with no psycho drill instructor in sight.
But first, I need to be a dramatic ass, so they leave me alone to ‘let my temper cool’. They’re waiting on an explosion, and I can give them one. I’m not sure if I can act as well as Cade can, but I’m willing to try for extra dramatic effect.
I shift Jakob in my lap to prop my foot up. South’s advice on keeping a little money handy on my person at all times is paying off already. At the bottom of my sock is a stash of folded bills that I pull out. Jake is leaned to the side to see what I’m doing and a brow goes up when he sees it.
I unfold enough bills for a hundred bucks, toss one on the table to pay for my ‘dinner,’ and stand with the baton in my other hand.
“Amanda,” Gabriel’s voice breaks into a tight, familiar tone of irritation as he sets his knife and fork down.
The rest of the cash I casually toss into Cade’s face. It hits his forehead, which I take a moment to be proud of, and scatters over his half-finished plate. Enjoy sweaty sock money asshole.
“That should get me a night in your palace of wonders. Count it to make sure,” I tell Cade flatly. I try to inject a little of the old angry, petulant tone, but I fail miserably. My voice is as washed out as the rest of me.
“I was fucking kidding,” Cade snaps with a glare, brushing the money stuck on his shirt to the floor.
I have no idea how he has the balls to be offended that I called his bluff. He’s just another shallow rich fuck, and it shows.
I don’t stomp as I leave. It would make my knee start hurting again. I need to take that bottle of ibuprofen with me when I bail.
No one follows me, and a quiet argument starts up at the table. I hope it keeps them busy for a while.
I lock the door behind me and think about all the people who have broken into my apartment. There has to be a way to keep them out. I try to move the furniture around, but it’s pretty useless. Everything is too heavy to shift on my own. What happened to buying cheap shit that falls apart after a year? Not in Chateau Matthias.
I have to make do with the lock.
The bathroom is next, and I pull my pants down to make sure it looks like I’m peeing if anyone comes in or there’s a camera in here. It’s dumb but it’s all I can think of because I saw it in a movie once.
A paragraph of text to Shade and some back-and-forth with Tera eases me somewhat. It's time to do some more digging.